Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-29-2024, 04:02 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Bad Medicine 2021
Seventh Aid, M67 Grenades and A.C.R.O.N.Y.M...
Author Message
NorthKoreanWarCriminal Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
11-26-2021, 10:27 AM

The Story So Far...
And now… The story continues!


***

October 18th, 2021
Inside the KFC Yum! Center
Louisville, KY


Blink.

Blink.

Blink blink.

The knotted wool of a mangy blanket in his fingertips.

The squeaking of rusted wheels…

Flynn chuckles weakly… Nostalgically.

God, how long has it been since he’s been on a gurney with people screaming around him!

Pushing from the end on which Flynn’s head rests is NK.

“Where are we going, Comrade Maria?”

“There’s an infirmary…” Maria checks her own tour brochure, which has a map of the entire arena. Also a recipe for how to make fudge brownies using only sweets you get out of the arena’s vending machine and the break room microwave.

“HERE! ON THE LEFT!”

NK whips the gurney around the corner. Flynn feels his legs rebound against the wall as the gurney slams against the white…

Haha… white walls… It reminds Flynn of the asylum he used to live in…

From NK’s perspective, Flynn’s right temple… bubbles once. About a third-of-an-inch off his skull.

“AH! Um… Do not fear! Central Command trained me in First Aid. In fact, I’m knowledgeable in Aids First through Sixth. I’ve even dabbled in the forbidden Seventh Aid!”

NK switches the grip on the gurney to his left hand and uses his right thumb to try and press the bubble… back in.

The bubble just… sort of slides around under NK’s thumb...

Flynn looks up at NK… and briefly sees two of him. Wait, four of him.

“Wow, NK, when did you clone yourself? Haha, there are so many of you.”

Wait, two NK’s are pushing Flynn down the hallway. The third and fourth… seems to slip its hand into NK #1 and #2’s right pockets… And then disappears behind a closed door...

“Whoa, where’d y’all go...?”

...NK looks down at Flynn… and sniffs, pondering what Flynn could mean.

“Is double-vision a sign of rapid recovery from a code 7220, Comrade Maria?”

Maria looks away from the map to look at NK’s thumb pressing down Flynn’s bubbling temple...

Suddenly, Flynn’s vision darkens at the edges.

“...Oh God, Ricky! What are you doing!?!?”

NK chuckles, as he uses his left thumb to grip Flynn’s bubble… Now pushing the gurney using only his hips.

“Medicine, Comrade Maria! Do not fret, for my training was all-encompassing. While I may not have seen your simple American training video, what I’ve done certainly would have resolved the issue…”

NK presses down on the bubble with both thumbs.

Suddenly, Flynn hears a faint popping sound… Then liquid oozing. Like a blob of paint getting crushed into paste. His vision is oddly dark around the edges now.

Flynn looks up and sees NK white like a ghost and Maria’s eyes wide with fear and disgust.

“Okay, that sounded bad.”



“And also might feel bad?”



“Is it bad?”



“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

Instead of answering the question, Maria tilts her face back to the map.

“We’re almost to the infirmary…”

Maria points to a door on the left and NK rolls the gurney into the door… For a moment, Flynn’s gurney is jammed across the entire hallway like the cart in Austin Powers, but eventually NK crawls over his body and jimmies the handle unstuck.

“SUCCESS!”

NK pumps his fist in the air.

That slight shift in weight is all it takes to collapse the gurney!

NK carefully and embarrassedly climbs off of Mark Flynn before pulling him backwards into the…



Room with full of Popcorn Makers?



“I admit I’m not familiar with American medicine. I’m from a country where healthcare isn’t a nightmarish hellscape.”

“Yes, I’ve heard Universal Healthcare in Canada is great.”



“Yes.”

...

“Because I’m Ricky Goldhart.”

NK adjusts his collar, which has an obvious North Korean flag on the lapel.

“But, does American healthcare require this much… popcorn?”

Maria’s eyes widen… Her face turns back toward the map.

“Oh no.”

Maria double-checks the brochure…

Squinting.

...

Then, she flips it upside down.

“Uh… okay. Minor issue. I did print the map upside-down in these brochures. What I thought was the infirmary is actually the…”

Maria flips the brochure upside down.

“...Concession Storage area...”

NK gasps… Then nods thoughtfully.

“So, that may explain why the ‘bathroom’ I visited had a loading dock. I had just assumed I was supposed to… evacuate off the side of the building.”

Maria bares her teeth, sucking air apologetically.

“I am so sorry.”

NK waves off the apology.

“Perfectly tolerable, Comrade Maria. It was a new experience! Plus, I brought my own matches so it was simple to drop one from a height and set my leavings ablaze.”

“...You set your…” Maria whispers, business on fire?”

“Standard Procedure.”

“...In Canada?”

“...Northern Canada, yes.”

***
Meanwhile, Outside the KFC Yum! Center


Kato sits in the parking lot, still dividing his gifted cracker snacks… He’s collected approximately thirty into a pile on their own.

“THESE! Shall appease my appetites through next year…”

He nods thoughtfully, tucking them under the passenger seat. He then turns to the remaining seventy.

“Now… to consider the following five years... Economic projections indicate… they may be lean…”

As Kato considers how to ration his beloved cheese-and-cracker packages… one paying attention might notice… a small fire gathering on the side of the arena…

It slowly encompasses the entire side of the building.

***

Back Inside


NK has pushed together a stack of 3 popcorn makers, still in box. He’s pushed that next to 3 other stacks of 3 to create a makeshift medical bed.

“Perfect, my improvised construction is flawless. Now, to lift our patient onto the bed.”

Maria nods.

NK bends down to Flynn, barely a half-foot off the floor, still resting on his collapsed gurney.

Flynn’s right eye peeks open as NK gathers his strength. He coughs.

“...Remember to get a fireman’s carry grip. That’s what Larry did… Of course, he had werewolf strength…”

NK tries to ignore Flynn’s time-displaced mutterings... but also slyly borrows his advice. He deftly gathers Flynn sideways across his shoulders… Then lifts him just barely enough to slip him across the cardboard popcorn makers.

Flynn stretches his back. The middle of his forehead… presses outwards… Like yeast rising out of a too-small container… But the container is a human skull.

NK looks to Maria expectantly.

“...Okay, what comes next?”

Maria once again presses her palm against Flynn’s face. Flynn’s eyelids flutter open and closed again… The bubble depresses back into his skull.

Maria presses two fingertips to Flynn’s temple… And his eyes remain open.

Maria takes her hand away and Flynn’s eyes close.

“Ricky, listen carefully, I ne-”

As Maria speaks, NK speaks over her… “Absolutely, Comrade Maria. I was First in my Active Listening class, as mandated by Central Command. I am, in fact, never not listening. My mind is constantly attuned to my surroundings as I take in new information to combat every challenge.”

“Great, could you do the thing I said then?”





“Could you repeat yourself, Comrade Maria?”

“Leave.”

NK is outraged.

“Comrade Maria, I was LISTENING, I merely wanted to test your ability to… repeat your command. Now, repeat your command!”

“LEAVE!”

“NO, THE ORIGINAL COMMAND!”

“I’M TELLING YOU I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!”



NK pauses, contemplating this direction.

Maria sighs, trying to be patient.

“Kyodai here is… He’s currently caught in between a hundred thousand different moments in his life. Ones that have happened and ones that are going to happen. And his brain is literally frying itself trying to stuff a hundred thousand snapshots of itself throughout history into one present moment. One state of being.”

Maria sticks her finger in NK’s chest.

“And you being around is reminding him of… OTHER moments. And those are getting caught in the stack.”

Maria points to the door behind them.

“You’ve done all you can, Ricky, and you did great...ish. Now, the best thing you can do now for Kyodai is ‘let me use through my training’ and ‘get away from here’.”



NK is deeply uncomfortable with the idea of helping by not helping.



But, he accepts this premise.

“Thank you for your help, Comrade Maria.”

Maria nods, then reaches into a cardboard box of food service supplies. She wraps her hair in a hairnet and puts on some plastic serving gloves.

NK leans into Flynn. Flynn’s eyes are closed, his breath is slow and weak...

He whispers, “Mark Flynn, I’ll be right outside. Comrade Maria is highly trained and will resolve your medical malady.”

Flynn groans.

“NK.”

NK leans in. Flynn whispers dreamily.

“That other You I saw? ...He’s shifty. Don’t trust him.”

NK winces, concerned that Flynn is still experiencing double-vision hallucinations.

“Comrade Maria, are you sure I could not stay an-?”

Before NK can finish that thought, two hands on his back start thrusting him toward the door.

Before he can react, he’s out in the hallway and the door slams behind him.

NK exhales nervously, completely alone.

He scoots his back against the wall and takes a seat.

***

Maria sets a palm gently against Flynn’s face.

“Okay… It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. Don’t panic. It’s gonna be okay.”

Flynn opens one eye.

“Do I seem like I’m panicking?”

Maria doesn’t look at Flynn.

“No, sorry, I’m talking to myself.”

Flynn coughs.

“Ah, of course. Carry on.”

Maria takes a deep breath.

“Okay, think back to what Ted Danson said… in the training video..”

Maria closes her eyes. And recalls the warm smile of Ted Danson...

Quote:“Remember, a Code 7220 is undesired but CAN be managed with three steps!”

Ted Danson flips a posterboard on a canvas. The visible side now reads: ‘A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.’

“Remember to A… Assess the Situation and remove any reminders of the past or the future...”

“C. Create a safe environment for the Mental Re-Tuning to take place.”

“R. Return their mind to the present… After whi-...”

It was at this moment, blood began running down Flynn’s eyes.

Maria screams.

“OKAY, OKAY, I’M SORRY! UM, OKAY, OKAY!”

Maria presses both of her hands onto the sides of Flynn’s face.

“You’ve got to clear your mind! RELAX!”

“Are you still talking to yourself?”

“NO! YOU RELAX! RELAX RIGHT NOW!”

Flynn chuckles.

“Okay, done.”

Despite the bubbling of his brain and leaking of blood out of multiple orifices, Flynn is placid. Thoroughly calm.

“YOU’RE DOING GREAT.”

“Thanks.”

Maria bites her lip. She looks down and sees her hands shaking, her fingers trembling. Every effort to steady her breath only shakes her further...

“HOW?”

“Hmm?”

“HOW ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS?”

Flynn peers up, blood pooling at the top of his lids, until finally releasing down across his pupils...

“Wow. Now that’s a question! I really have to think on that one…”

“TIME IS A FACTOR!”

Flynn ponders this question. Now, blood is running down his ears and eyes… and his nostrils. He purses his lips thoughtfully.

“I guess when you believe in the Optimal Path… Like I do... You realize that fear is ...non-functional. Only creating behavioral inefficiencies. The journey to the destination your fear wants to take you will always be made more quickly with a clear, unencumbered mind. The solution is serenity… and full-focus.”



Maria takes another deep breath.

“That’s a great point. I can’t help you if I’m more afraid than you are. Thank you, Kyodai.”

“No prob. Hey, does it smell like the 90s in here to you?”

“...What?”

“The 90s. The early 90s, specifically. I can taste Ronald Reagan in my brain. Is that just me?”



Maria shakes that comment off and decides to use this man’s advice, despite his rapidly dwindling grasp on reality and the passage of time.

“Okay. Clear your mind.”

Flynn closes his eyes and tries to completely empty his thoughts…

But, it is difficult. Every sense, every sound, every color… The feel of the plastic gloved hands on his forehead… The white paint on the walls around him… The feeling of blood running up his throat and down his lips…

It’s all… so familiar… in so many different ways.

“Dismiss the past.”

Maria rubs Flynn’s right temple with the index and middle fingers of her right hand clockwise…

“Dismiss the future.”

With her left hand’s fingers, she massages Flynn’s left temple counter-clockwise…

“Return to the now.”

“Return to the present.”


Flynn’s senses… suddenly dull. The room seems to dissipate. The walls, the popcorn makers… Maria…

“Dismiss the past.”

“Dismiss the future.”


Flynn feels his fears fade… He feels the blood evaporate off his face and ears… The sweat on his forehead dries...

“Return to the now.”

“Return to the present.”


Eventually, his vision blackens. His ears deafen. His tongue dries and his lungs no longer draw breath.

But he does not struggle for air…

“Dismiss the past.”

“Dismiss the future.”


He feels the rubbing pressure on his temples weakening… getting fainter and fainter…

Until Flynn’s last connection to this space is gone...

“Return to the now.”

“Return to the present.”


***

The room across from where he sits has gone silent.

NK’s hand hovers at the center of the door. Central Command has denoted this is the most efficient position for a firm but polite knock.

Yet, he pauses.

The North Korean War Criminal steadies his resolve. He was instructed by Comrade Maria that the best aid he could provide was his absence from the room.

And he had decided that moment he was a mature enough individual to acknowledge he did not NEED to be present to improve a situation.

The Vision of True Korea revolved around all citizens being united in one goal! And if NK was united with his comrades Maria and Mark Flynn by not helping them and standing outside the room, NK was proud to do so!

He had, in fact, never felt closer to either Mark Flynn or Comrade Maria than this moment of being separated from them!

He smiles in a moment of growth and pride in himself. What a momentous occasion! What a glorious wisdom to bask in.

NK simply must tell Mark Flynn about this.

He goes to knock on th- NO! His left palm wraps around his right capable-of-knocking fist and he slowly reels back his hand.

He sighs.

Perhaps he might kill a few moments playing Snake on his Razr… He reaches into his right pocket…



What? It’s gone.

NK pats his opposite pocket. As outrageous a hypothesis as it is to even consider… perhaps he put it in his left-hand pocket?

Nope, not there either.

How bizarre. NK’s phone hasn’t been out of its proper place since he was first assigned the Motorola Razr in 2003 by Central Command. The chance of it being out of place due to his negligence is 66 trillion 200 billion to one, according to his rough estimates.

Before NK can consider this complete unlikelihood of this event happening by accident, suddenly, there’s a knock on the wall around the corner. Two distinct knocks actually.

“Haha!” NK announces to no one. “Naturally. Considering all the evidence before me, my Razr was purloined! THIEVED! And the thief plans to lure me around the corner into some ambush… How delightfully infantile!”

NK reaches into a pouch on the side of his right leg… And his hand rifles around…

Before he retrieves a M67 grenade.

“WHAT WAS THAT NOISE!?!” NK shouts, a sinister sneer sickly spreading across the surface of his face... “I’M COMING AROUND THE CORNER! TO INVESTIGATE THE SOUND’S SOURCE! MY CURIOSITY DULLS MY SENSES AND MY DEFENSES HAVE BEEN SIGNIFICANTLY LOWERED!”

He pulls the pin and perfectly lobs the M67 down the hall, banking it off the side wall so it slips just around the corner…





BOOM! A burst of shrapnel spreads 360 degrees and shreds any fool hiding around the corner.

“Haha!” NK pumps his fist triumphantly, before dropping into a forward roll and somersaulting down the hallway…

“CRIM-IN-AL! CRIM-IN-AL!” NK sings, punctuating his triumph with a redux of his internal theme song…

He comes around the corner, prepared to discover a dead fool. A foolish corpse. A deceased IDIOT!



But when he turns… he finds shrapnel embedded into the walls in all directions…

But no body.



In fact the only thing in the hall is a cut-out crossword puzzle from the Sunday Times.



A game.



A mental challenge.

...

NK retrieves a pen from his pocket. If this opponent expected NK not to be able to defeat a simple crossword, he was even more foolish than he was dead. WHICH HE WAS!

NK begins solving the puzzle, starting with 1 Across…

As NK stares down… He fails to notice the ceiling tile coming loose above him… And a figure drops, completely silently, behind him…

***

Flynn blinks himself, conscious.

He’s feeling a little less swimmy. It was touch-and-go but he finally feels like his brain ISN’T being rejected by his skull…

So. That’s good.

Flynn takes a deep breath, followed by making an assessment of his surroundings.

...

He’s not in that room with Maria… He’s in a pitch-black room.

He leans backward and finds himself, back against a chair.

His arms are tied behind his back…

Flynn jiggles his restraints...



“Huh. Okay.”

“Mark! You finally decided to stop by! And just in time for your… intervention...”

Flynn blinks. This voice is... uniquely familiar…

“Who’s there?”

“HAHA! Now that’s a question…”

“I guess the best way I can explain... is I’m the only man you can trust.”

Flynn cackles, shaking his head.

“Fuck off. Who is that, Theo? One of Dukes’ genetically inbred spawn? Ol’ Wally Witastick?”

Flynn stands up out of the chair… Whoever this asshole is, he bound Flynn’s arms without connecting the ropes to the chair… Amateur hour.

“Listen to me, you fuckin’ troglodyte.” Flynn says, stepping forward into the darkness.

“If you think just because we were on the same side at some point... That I EVER trusted you, let’s make one thing very clear...”

Flynn punts the chair he was given to its side and bends his knees into a fighting stance. Trying to exude formidability, even with his arms bound.

“The only person I’ve ever trusted has been myself.”







“Exactly so.”

A light shines overhead… Illuminating the darkness with a spotlight of yellow.

A figure emerges from the shadows…



Then a second.



And a third.

The first is a man in a velvet robe… Swirling a glass of wine in his hand. Sophisticated, regal. But his every motion communicates a deeply-held disdain. A disgust.

The second is a desperate animal. Standing on all fours… Beard mangy and speckled by saliva and snot. Eyes sunken in. Belly emaciated and concave… Starving… Desperate to feed.

And the third… A bright, shiny, smiling face. Teeth gleaming. And eyes as black as midnight…. Like glimpsing into an abyss.

Each wholly unique.

And each Mark Flynn. The first, closely resembling his debut appearance in 2012… The second, his lowest point in 2013… And the third… Free-Win Flynn in 2014.

Ol’ Free-Win smiles warmly.

“And now, Marky Mark…”

The first and second Flynn’s move to surround the arms-bound Flynn.

Free-Win hangs back and rubs his hands in anticipation…

“I think it’s time we do a Full…”

Free-Win laughs… he reaches behind his back and reveals a lead pipe.

“Performance Review…”

To Be Continued…

[Image: oZtyqya.jpg]
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 4 users Like NorthKoreanWarCriminal's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (11-26-2021), JimCaedus (11-26-2021), Robert "The Omega" Main (11-26-2021), Theo Pryce (11-26-2021)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)