"What a bunch of BULL HOCKEY!

The XWF, and the people in it, are a cesspool of lawbreakers and immoral, violent criminals. Every week, children are exposed to thugs who peddle their deviance to the masses, and they get treated as heroes because of it. IT MAKES ME SICK!

My name is Othmur Bay Tiborovski-Law, but you can call me O. Bay T-Law, and I am here to bring some law and order back to professional wrestling!"

Officer T-Law holds up a night stick and waves it into the camera.

"These thieves and common trash that make up the roster of the XWF have gone unpunished for too long! The men, women, and children in the audience need someone to look up to, and that someone is the right hand of justice, Officer T-Law! This journey to moral and legal penance begins on Anarchy, and it is fitting that it begins on Thanksgiving!

People all over the country are offended now by Thanksgiving! Why? Because it's a holiday built in good, Christian values, that's why! The youths of this country, they don't look up to their parents anymore. They look up to trash like the roster members of the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. Something as wholesome as Thanksgiving no longer has a place in their society, but that's about to change! O. Bay T-Law will be making his professional wrestling debut on Thanksgiving, and it will begin with a victory. I will be holding that glorious trophy above my head!"

T-Law stimulates holding a trophy above his head.

"And that is when people will realize that crime and immorality does not pay. That someone can succeed by following the rules and defending the values we hold dear to our hearts! I am here to offer the kids a lesson - if you stay in school, say no to drugs, listen to your parents and to your authority figures, and eat a healthy diet, you can be more successful than those sad sacks who peddle their violence and pornography.

Don't mistake me for some tree hugging commie pacifist, though. I'm all about justice, and I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty. If someone deserves a good beat down, then that's what I'll give them. I'll beat them, break them, and send them back crying to their mothers. People have been allowed to get away with filth for too long, and those people don't get off Scot free!"

Officer T-Law takes off his police hat and puts on a pair of aviator sunglasses.

"The law has arrived in the XWF, and everyone who decides to enter this Thanksgiving Battle Royal will be the first ones to experience the hands of justice. You all have two choices - listen to me and obey the law, or receive the punishment you deserve for your crimes. X-Treme Wrestling Federation, the days of you being able to do whatever you want with no accountability is over! From now on, things are going to change. Order will be restored, respect will be given, and justice will be served!"