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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Β  » Archives » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
Sad Gorilla
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A Literal Gorilla Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Kids, disabled people, casual fans

(fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by most adult male fans)


#1
11-30-2021, 06:00 AM

Me Gorilla.

Me sad, me remember Harambe, great gorilla. No do bad. No harm humans.

Shot dead anyway.

Me get shot once, Peter Vaughn. Bad human.

Me no dead.

Me need get over sad. Honor Harambe, win for Harambe.

Me face glasses man. Schism. Weird name.

Me get ready for match.

Me kiss wife. Me have gorilla wife.

Me put on fedora.

Me put on trenchcoat.

🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍

It's Black Friday, 2021, and retailers everywhere are handling wave after wave of eager shoppers looking for the next great bargain on goods with the holiday season right around the corner. Electronics, appliances, gadgets, gizmos, clothing, accessories, and yes, as you'd expect, dietary supplements. Business is booming in the local GNC as wives look for stuff to make their husband's stale libido more lively, husbands ask about stuff to enhance their penis, and gym rats inquire about saving on a ridiculously large jar of whey protein that ultimately will taste like animal semen. As this transpires, a very hairy man in a trench coat and fedora enters. A free retail worker appraches him.

Hello, sir, are you looking for anything in particular?

The man's bulging forearms shift here and there as he uses sign language. The retail worker looks confused.

Uh, sorry, I don't understand. Hold on!

The young lady, using some bright intuition, goes to the check-out counter and retrieves a note pad and a pen. She brings it back to the extraordinarily hairy man in a trenchcoat and fedora.

Here, could you write it down?

The man grips the pen in a savage way, like one would hold the handle of a mug. He then scribbles on the pad crudely. The young lady looks at the jambled gobbledygook on the pad.

I don't understand, let me get my manager.

The man nods, knowing how important this was. He looks at the pen in wonder, looks around, and puts it into the front pocket of his trenchcoat. As he does, the store's manager, a strapping, able bodied fellow without a shred of hair to be seen on him, approaches.

Hiya, bud, how can I help you?

The hairy man in the trenchcoat and fedora begins using sign language again, but to no avail as the meat head running the show wasn't hired for his grasp of sign language.

You looking for male enhancement? Because I have just the stuff.

The extraordinarily hairy man in the trenchcoat and fedora shrugs. The manager walks over to a shelf as the hairy beast of a man in the trenchcoat and fedora opens a jar of whey protien. He dips a stubby, strong finger inside, caking it with the powder, and inserts the digit into his mouth. He grunts with dissatisfaction and tosses the entire jar on the floor angrily. The manager turns, not having noticed, and approaches.

I am so sorry, sir, that must have fallen off the shelf. Here, take a look at this while I clean that up.

The manager hands a small plastic pill bottle to the absurdly hairy man in the trenchcoat and fedora. The man struggles with the child safety cap as he attempts to open the bottle right there. Frustrated, he throws the bottle on the ground and punches it, shattering the bottle. He then scoops up a handful of whatever the tablets are and crams them into his mouth. The manager is agog at this.

Hey, pal! You gotta pay for those before you take 'em!

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a single credit card. He holds it out for the store manager, who takes it. The man takes the card back to the register and as he does, the hairy man tilts his fedora and places a few random bottles of supplements into his trenchcoat pockets.

🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍

Me go store, meet important manager. Take supplements, make body healthier for going XWF.

Me go Savage.

Me bring new pen to wife. Wife happy. New supplements make poops multicolored and hard as rocks. Clog toilet.
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[-] The following 10 users Like A Literal Gorilla's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (11-30-2021), B.O.B. D (11-30-2021), Charlie Nickles (11-30-2021), JimCaedus (11-30-2021), Mark Flynn (11-30-2021), Peter Vaughn (11-30-2021), Schism (12-01-2021), The Blue Tango (11-30-2021), Theo Pryce (12-11-2021), Thunder Knucklesβ„’ (11-30-2021)




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