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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Shove-It! Boards » Shove-It! Results
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Charlie Nickles Presents The Marf Show: Halloween Shove-It Spooktacular!
Author Message
Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman
TITLE - The TV Champion

XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)

Post: #1
11-03-2021 11:50 AM

[Image: 0001-9460805882_20211006_201614_0000.png...height=375]

[Image: Bran-Castle-at-Night-with-Full-Moon-Tran...850387.jpg]

The voice of Charlie Nickles plays over ambient music as the camera takes us through the grounds of Poenari Castle. We see various wrestlers warming up and talking to each other in the makeshift backstage area as the camera pans around to show us all the fan favorites.

We have a time traveler on the card for tonight’s show, folks- so think nothing of the day you watched this broadcast. In fact, this broadcast was indeed brought to you seven days early and met with voracious applaus and incredible reviews. Our time traveler friend made sure of it. You, however, may not remember portions of those events due to the globalist plots and schemes against lil ol’ Marf and Charlie.

You see folks, this show you are about to attend is not for the faint of heart or the weak of sense. This show you are about to see before your very own eyes is none other than the most violent, the most depraved, the most disgusting carnie sideshow festival ever to bless the Romanian airwaves. This sick fuckandbloodfest was deemed so dark and disconcerting that the Romanian secret police, along with their globalist allies at XWF HQ, worked their evil ways to delay and suppress the release of these tapes. They did the classic Men-In-Black trick to you all when you tried to open up your fetish porn sites. It’s crazy what they can do with just a computer camera now a days, isn’t it?

But now, folks- I have damn near done the impossible. I have fought through thick and thin to recover these lost tapes, these tapes you have seen before, these tapes you did in fact see early and were forced to forget- I have recovered these tapes from the wretched hands of the wrestling purists and the traditionalists. From the holymen and the false believers. It was my duty, as the executive producer of the Marf Show, to put my life, limb, body, and soul on the line so that you may enjoy this viewing experience.

So please: take your ambien, pull down your pants, and forget all about what that nurse said about the bell curve placement of your penis…’s time for the Marf Show, baby.

[Image: image0-2.png]

We cut to a shot of Marf and Charlie wearing business professional suits and sitting next to each other at a table. They appear to be in the middle of the dark woods just outside of the castle, and they have a variety of camera screens and snacks placed on their table for their viewing pleasure.

Marf: Well Charlie that sure was a kick-ass excuse for your bender.

Charlie: I don’t know what you’re talking about officer.

Marf: Riiiiight. Well anyways folks, I have a hell of a show lined up for you tonight. If you like tits, ass, death, savage jungle men who may in fact be half-ape, and incredible amounts of failed plastic surgery I have the perfect show for you coming right up!

Charlie: You sure do make a great salesman, Marf!

Marf: Why thank you, Charlie- I learned how to sell from the very best!

Charlie: It’s so nice that Thaddeus Duke takes time out of his day to mentor the younger, or somewhat older, roster members.

Marf: Uh-huh. Well the first match on the card is mine, Charlie- so if you don’t excuse me, I’m going to go and put a cup in my undergarments so that Graves can’t nutcheck me.

Charlie: Good thinking, Marf- that’s why you’re a two time television champion. You’re always thinking three quarters of a step ahead of the competition! You go get yourself all lubed up and plugged and I will go track Dolly down and see if she’s down to replace you, and maybe replace my ex-wife! In the meantime, let’s see if anyone is getting up to anything fun on this spooky night….

The camera cuts to a shot of a cavernous chamber in the bowels of the castle’s ruins, finding Impossible Entity, the team of Betsy Granger and Lycana, making their way through the passageways the XWF has repurposed for tonight’s event. The flickering of flame torches hanging from fastenings in the stone walls, lights their way

LYCANA: Marf’s up first tonight. I really should go check in on him before his match and before he settles into commentary. I haven’t been around and… things are… well, they’re….

GRANGER: Do you want me to come with?

LYCANA: Thank you, but no. I think it’ll go over smoother if you’re not there. No offence.

Granger purses her lips and pauses for a moment, considering her partner’s predicament. She double-checks.

GRANGER: Are you sure?

LYCANA: Yes, I’m sure. Again, thank you. It’s just…

GRANGER: Complicated.

Betsy nods in understanding.

LYCANA: What isn’t these days?

Both women crack wry smiles, hinting at the complexity of their own relationship, as they reach a fork in the road. Lycana points in one direction.

LYCANA: You go ahead. I have a feeling I know where to find him…. If he will even see me.

GRANGER: Okay, but don’t take too long. I really don’t want to spend any time with Dracula alone, if I don’t have to.

LYCANA: I don’t blame you. I’ll be there as soon as I can.[/]

GRANGER: Good. I’ll see you soon then.

[b]LYCANA: Definitely.

Granger walks off down the corridor, in the direction Lycana pointed, her echoing footsteps lingering far longer than the sight of her. Lycana watches her go for a short moment, before turning down the other path.

The torches continue to flicker. And just for a moment, they darken completely as a shadow crosses over them, moving in Lycana’s direction.

We fade out to a brief intermission where infomercials advertise Viagra and medical marijuana cards to the audience.

Marf vs Micheal Graves

Puzzlebox Match: Pinfall only match

Lights in the Sky hits and Marf steps outside the massive backyard of the castle to a chorus of immediate booing. Marf has a dark blue jumpsuit on and a Michael Myers mask on. He nods at the reaction of the crowd before making his way down to ringside. He looks around at the ladders set up all around the ring. Marf rolls under the ropes and into the ring before climbing to the top rope and raising his arms to more booing. He hops down and removes the mask, tossing it out into the audience. Marf then takes a look up at all the hanging boxes above the ring, not really sure how they’re suspended there.

Michael Graves steps out onto the makeshift stage and stares coldly at Marf in the ring. The fans show him a little bit of love but he ignores as he begins to march towards the ring. Marf leans against the corner and watches Graves as he slowly makes his way to the ring, seething with fury. Michael Graves climbs onto the apron and stands outside the ropes for a moment. He stares at Marf and neither man does anything but glare at the other. Finally Graves enters the ring and the two men come face to face.

Charlie: Well here we go ladies and germs! I’m being joined by the one and only Dolly Waters since Marf is in the match.

Dolly: Charles, thanks for having me…so uhh, can you explain what the hell this match is exactly?

Charlie: Well it’s pretty obvious, it’s a puzzlebox match! They gotta climb ladders to get the puzzle boxes! Only one has the true key to victory, the rest all have horrifying secrets…ooooo!

Dolly: What does any of that mean? You have to find the right box to win the match?

Charlie: Yeah you got it! But also pin your opponent…

Dolly: What drugs were you on when you came up with these matches??

Charlie: Hey! This is Marf’s show! Ask that weirdo!

The bell rings and both Graves and Marf rear back and fire off big punches. Neither man hesitates as they land blow after blow upon one another. Graves drives his fist into Marf’s head and face while Marf reciprocates with multiple punches of his own cracking Graves in the mouth and nose. It is not long before both men’s faces begin to puff out and swell yet they both stand there stubbornly, beating the hell out of one another. Graves cracks Marf in the mouth with a short elbow but Marf rears back and drills Graves with a headbutt.

Graves lands a very stiff backhand across Marf’s chest that stops his momentum. Graves drives a knee into Marf’s gut and then pulls him up. Graves goes for a running powerbomb but Marf drops down with a DDT instead. Marf looks for an arm lock but Graves kicks him in the head by surprise to back Marf off. Graves pops up but Marf grabs him for a swinging neck breaker. Graves counters it into his own swinging neck breaker taking both men down to the mat.

Charlie: Well this is on pace to be a blood bath!

Dolly: Marf did some really bad stuff to me inside of Graves’ body. Michael is looking for some bloody revenge for sure!

Charlie: You were in Graves’ body? And I’m not allowed to hit on you??

Dolly: Two completely unrelated things, don’t be an idoiot Charles!

Charlie: Don’t call me Charles and I won’t call you Cunty the Penis Slayer anymore.

Dolly: You’ve never called me that. And better not ever call me that either. What the hell does that even mean…never mind I don’t want to know. Let’s get back to the match please…

Marf and Graves both get back up to their feet at the same time. They start trading punches once again. Marf starts hitting multiple shots in a row before Graves traps his arm. Graves pulls Marf right in and starts hitting him with the trapping headbutts. Graves hits about a dozen headbutts before smoothly transitioning into a belly to belly suplex. Graves grabs hold of Marf and goes into a modified STF. Marf rolls through and then frees his arm and elbows Graves in the face to break the hold.

Marf pulls himself back up with the ropes as Graves gets up and drives a double axe handle blow across Marf’s back. Graves hits him with another knee but as he goes for another Marf blocks it. Marf grabs hold of Graves and goes for a spinning back fist. Graves ducks it and then takes Marf down with a belly to back suplex. Graves once again goes for the STF and locks it in on Marf. He stretches it for a moment but Marf somehow pushes off the mat and falls back to break the hold awkwardly. They both get up going at one another but as Graves swings a punch Marf catches him by surprise with a drop toe hold. Graves lands against on the bottom rope right across his throat.

Charlie: Leave it to Marf to come out wrestling in a match with ladders and no real rules!

Dolly: Between Gravy and Marfy? Only a matter of time before the toys come out.

Charlie: What kind of toys??

Dolly: Shut the hell up!

Marf gets back to his feet while Graves takes a moment, holding his throat and coughing. Graves uses the ropes to pull himself up but is caught offguard when Marf nails him in the side of the head with a running big boot. Graves drops to a knee as Marf then grabs hold of him. Marf pulls Graves in and goes for a pump handle slam but Graves manages to counter as they go up and hits a flowing DDT out of nowhere. Marf pushes himself up but gets caught with a shuffle side kick that sends him on his back onto the mat.

Marf slowly rolls himself out of the ring while Graves starts looking around at the different boxes hanging above the ring. Graves runs over to the ropes and goes for a baseball slide but Marf times it and shifts out of the way. Marf goes for a clothesline but Graves ducks out of the way. Graves jumps up with a nice standing drop kick but Marf steps out of the way and let’s him fall. Marf grabs Graves and then throws him into the steel steps. Marf walks over and grabs one of the ladders on the floor. He closes it and then runs over, smashing it into Graves before he can pull himself up.

Charlie: That’s gotta hurt!

Dolly: It is never a good time when ladders are involved.

Charlie: Just wait until they start opening the puzzle boxes!

Dolly: What the hell is in the wrong boxes?

Charlie: I’ll never tell!

Marf shoves the ladder in the ring and follows after it. He sets it up under the box hanging directly in the middle of the ring. Marf begins to climb up the ladder while the crowd gets excited. Marf reaches up and grabs hold of the first puzzle box while Graves pulls himself up onto the apron. Marf opens the box but immediately drops it and starts waving his hands wildly. A bee lands on his arm and stings him while he yells out in pain. Marf smacks the bee and kills it right before Graves tips the ladder. Marf falls off and slams into the ropes before hitting the mat painfully.

Dolly: Was that a damn bee!?

Charlie: Ahahaha! Yeah!

Dolly: How the hell did you get it in that box?

Charlie: Took me six and a half hours to catch ‘er.

Dolly: …….

Graves moves the ladder over so it is under one of the other puzzle boxes while Marf is still down, holding his throat in pain. Graves starts climbing up the ladder now until he can reach the puzzle box, pulling it into his hands. Marf starts to pull himself up with the ropes while watching as Graves opens the box. As soon as it opens it explodes with a minor explosion that causes Graves to fall off the ladder and land hard on the mat. Marf walks over and pulls Graves up and then nails a falcon arrow onto the stunned Graves.

Dolly: What the hell was that? How did you guys get these matches signed off?

Charlie: I dunno we just kinda made em up and we’re going from there.

Dolly: Go where!? You guys are gonna get so fined so much!

Charlie: Oh no no, that’s the best part. Only Vinnie and Theo are held responsible! So no big deal!

Dolly: ……..

Marf gets back to his feet and eyes the next available box. He moves the ladder over and sets it up under another puzzle box. Marf climbs about halfway up before Graves pulls himself back up. He comes over and starts climbing up after Marf. As they get to the top Marf doesn’t go for the puzzle box and waits for Graves instead. Marf hits Graves with a heavy shot. He fires back and hits Marf right back. Marf answers with another hard punch. Graves goes to answer back but Marf blocks it. Graves blocks Marf’s next shot and then sprays him with the poison mist which appears to be the purple variety.

Marf stands on the ladder and blinks a few times while wiping at the purple gunk all over his face. He seems confused and Graves shoves him off the ladder and crashing to the mat below. Graves grabs hold of the puzzle box above his head. Much more carefully this time, Graves slowly opens the box and flinches. Nothing happens and Graves starts to look inside when he suddenly begins coughing. He tosses the opened puzzle box into the crowd before vomiting on the top of the ladder.

Dolly: Now what the hell was that??

Charlie: Bahahahahaha! That must’ve been the dozen fart bomb surprise! [/shadow

Dolly: You are seriously messed up dude…

[shadow=red">Charlie: Oh come on, it’s funny!

Graves wipes the puke away from his mouth while taking a step down the ladder. He spots Marf getting up on the mat, looking around and shaking his head. Graves times it and then jumps off the ladder. Graves connects with a beautiful diving drop kick that sends Marf flying back and slamming into the corner. Marf stumbles out of the corner still in a daze and Graves hauls him up onto his shoulders. Graves turns and drops Marf with the Grave Digger Death Valley driver.

Graves gets back up to his feet while Marf is momentarily downed. Graves looks up and spots one more puzzle box hanging near the corner. Graves takes the ladder and hastily drags it to the corner. He starts climbing up while Marf slowly starts to move. Graves gets to the top of the ladder and reaches up to grab the puzzle box. Nodding already knowing he’s got the winning box, Graves opens it up while still at the top of the ladder. A spring loaded can sprays Graves in the face with something and he falls back, crashing onto the top rope.

Dolly: Do I even want to know what that liquid was?

Charlie: It was lemon juice with a bit of dish soap mixed into it.

Dolly: Jesus Christ…

Charlie: The original plan was mace but I lost my supply…

Marf walks over and climbs up onto the top turnbuckle where Graves is stuck. Marf pulls him up and knees him in the gut. Marf grabs holds of Graves and then lifts him off the turnbuckle with a T-bone suplex that sends Graves flying and crashing into the ladder. Graves drops on top of the ladder and mat in a heap of pain. Marf also hits the mat but with less force. He slowly pulls himself back up and leans against the corner looking around now. Marf looks over at the commentary table and yells to Charlie.

What the hell now!?

Charlie: Oh my god, bro look at the entrance!

Marf watches as Charlie points frantically around. Marf looks over to the top of the stage and sees one last hanging puzzle box. Marf drops to the mat and rolls to the outside while Graves struggles to pull himself to the ropes. Marf grabs another ladder from the floor and makes his way around ringside to the ramp. Graves steps out to the apron and then dives at Marf, catching him by surprise. Graves slams into Marf and they both fall on top of the ladder. Marf takes the brunt of it while Graves slowly gets back up.

Graves looks up the ramp and notices the last puzzle box now. He grabs the ladder and starts marching up the stage. Graves gets to the entrance and eyes where the puzzle box is hanging. He sets the ladder up but before he can climb it Marf drills him from behind. Graves stumbles over and bumps into the wall before the entrance. He turns around and throws himself at the approaching Marf and they take one another out with heavy clotheslines. They both hit the steel stage in a heap.

Dolly: So whoever gets this last box wins?

Charlie: Yeah probably.

Dolly: Charlie what the hell? Why don’t you know!?

Charlie: What do you want from me!? It was hard work putting this event together, you can’t expect me to remember every fine detail!

Dolly: Oh my god…

Marf and Graves both stir as the outdoor crowd buzzes with excitement. Graves reaches out a hand and grabs the bottom rung of the ladder. He slowly starts to drag himself to the ladder while Marf rolls over, coughing up blood. Graves manages to start climbing the ladder but Marf sits up and slowly gets to his feet. Graves gets halfway up the ladder before Marf hits him across the back with a meaty forearm. Marf grabs hold of Graves and pulls him off the ladder and then hits a nasty looking reverse Death Valley driver. Marf pulls himself up and begins climbing the ladder. He grabs hold of the final puzzle box and opens it, revealing a piece of paper. Marf starts reading aloud it seems.

Charlie: Uh oh, he didn’t look at both sides…

Dolly: Both sides? What the hell is that?

Charlie: Marf you idiot stop reading it out loud!

Dolly: What the hell is going on now!? Charlie my leg is still busted up do we need to get out of here??

Charlie: …….

Marf finishes reading whatever is on the paper and then looks around in confusion. He’s about to climb down when he notices the back of the paper has more writing. As he’s reading it, several people dressed as Cenobytes come running out of the castle and tip the ladder over, causing Marf to fall hard onto the dirty makeshift stage. The Cenobytes surround Marf and begin beating and stomping him into oblivion. Graves slowly sits up and watches the mayhem unfold in front of him with confusion.

Dolly: Charlie what the hell is going on!?

Charlie: It was the key to victory! But idiot boy did it wrong! If he read both sides he would have seen that he has to say his opponent’s name before reading the ancient scripture. Otherwise the cursed ones will only attack you!

Dolly: …this might be, the stupidest shit I have ever been apart of…

Charlie: I’m surprised that blue haired hussy hasn’t come out to help Marfy!

Dolly: Actually yeah…so am I…

The Cenobytes haul Marf to his feet while his face is now covered in blood. They lift him up high in some wild, half dozen person powerbomb and drop Marf hard onto the ground. They all look up and point to Michael Graves. He slowly comes over to what’s left of Marf and makes a cover while looking around cautiously. The Cenobytes immediately dog pile onto Graves while one of them lays down beside the mess of bodies. Like a demented referee sent from Hell, the strange being makes the count.




Winner by pinfall Michael Graves!!!

Charlie: Oh man, Marf might be pissed when he comes back to commentary that totally backfired on me…

Dolly: Yeah…well…it’s been a slice…I’m getting out of here before your shenanigans wind up breaking my other leg!

The Cenobytes haul Graves off of Marf and shove him away while turning their attention back to Marf. He struggles to pull himself up, blood dripping off of him. Since Graves never picked a trick or treat option nothing happens. The Cenobytes look to assault Marf some more but Graves comes over to break it up. The Cenobytes turn on him and start attacking but this has allowed Marf a chance to get to his feet. Surprisingly Marf and Graves work together and fend off the strange Cenobytes until they all run off.

Marf and Michael Graves stand bloodied, beaten and exhausted. They look at one another suspiciously for a moment. Finally Marf raises his closed fist towards Graves. The crowd actually cheers as Graves reaches forward and props Marf. He heads away as Marf slowly limps over to the announce table. Marf plops down beside Charlie while still coughing up some blood. He chugs a water and puts on the head set.

Marf: Nice god damn puzzle boxes…

Charlie: Hey you read the damn thing not me!

Marf: You’re an idiot…

Charlie: Not my fault your dumb blue girlfriend didn’t help ya out!

Marf: Shut the fuck up!

Charlie: Hey, chill the fuck out and handle commentary while I go deal with some of our trick or treaters. I’d hate for you to ruin a child’s night with your bad vibes.

Marf: Yeah yeah yeah go prepare for the segment, I’ll handle the commentary.

Marf waits a little while, until Charlie is out of earshot.

Marf: Fuck off, go cut to something else.

In the dark corridors of the castle once more, Lycana is walking by herself, not having been able to catch up with Marf before his match, and now on her way back to find Betsy Granger once again. She mumbles to herself.

LYCANA: Shit, I hope I’m not lost in this place…


Something catches her attention, and she freezes in her tracks, spinning around to face it.

LYCANA: Hello?

Nothing. Shaking herself back to her senses, she sets off down the corridor again.

Turning the corner once again, she grows more confident in her navigation of the building, no doubt getting closer to whatever predetermined meeting point she and Betsy had arranged, possibly with Count Dracula too.


There that sound is again, behind her once more.

She spins again.

Still nothing.

LYCANA: Look, if someone’s there…

She’s interrupted before she can finish the sentence.


It’s behind her now!

Once more she spins!


A black cat looks up at her with innocent eyes.

Lycana breathes a sigh of relief, and again mutters to herself as the cat bounds off into the distance.

LYCANA: Pull it together, girl. You’ve been in weirder places than this before.

She sets off once more to meet up with her partner. Unbeknownst to her, a sound rat-a-tats from behind her, back where she was standing.


[Image: image0-2.png]

We cut to a shot of Charlie Nickles standing in the backstage area beside a cheap table with a paper-filled fish bowl on it. Charlie, however, is dressed from neck-to-toe in a Thrax costume. His beautiful face and head are, of course, exposed so as to help him rebuild that brand image.

Charlie: Trick or Treat, all you cool cats and kittens! It’s Charlie “The Nickleman” Nickles from the Marf Show, and I’m here to hand out some of the COOL and AWESOME treats that were promised to our brave performers here tonight! You know, some of the wrestlers in the XWF take the phrase ‘cool cat’ a bit too literally, and those pussies thought they needed just a few extra treats to get them off their lazy ass and into my sideshow attraction. So with that being said, let’s hand out some of those kegel bells and vagisil bottles now! Just kidding- we have a whole host of nifty prizes that will be mostly somewhat randomly given out to our competitors here tonight that begged daddy Charlie for a treat.

Now let’s see who gets the first treat….

Charlie reaches into the fish bowl with his Thrax glove and pulls out the first piece of paper conveniently placed on top of the pile.


And let’s see what she gets as her participation trophy for tonight’s events….

Charlie reaches back into the fish bowl and pulls out a piece of paper also placed on top of the pile.

One deep tissue body massage from the star of the Marf Show, Marf Swaysons! Redeemable anytime after midnight under a full moon, because you know how Marf likes his wolf girls. This 100% off coupon expires if you become a lesbian with Betsy Granger- no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If my man Marf is rubbing someone down he’s getting to stick it in, okay?

Alright now let’s see who our next treat will be going to! Drumroll please…..

Charlie makes his own little drum roll by quickly tapping his fingers against the tabletop. Charlie waits a few moments before diving his hand into the bottom of the bowl and mixing up all the papers. Charlie spends a considerable amount of time randomly sifting through the paper slips before pulling out the next one.


Your treat, Mercy……

Charlie reaches back into the fish bowl and

Muddy Waters! Wait no, this can’t be right….damn it! I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Marf. I definitely should have used two different fish bowls to do this. Ah, fuck it- it’s legally binding. Moving on.

Charlie reaches into the fishbowl once again and pulls out a piece of paper from near the top of the pile.

VITA VALENTEEN?! She’s not even on this show! Well, fuck it- she figured out how to scam the system and get a free treat without even showing up. I detest it, but I can’t deny a good fraud scheme when I see one. Let’s see what you get, pretty little Vita-Vamp.

Charlie reaches into the bowl and fishes around randomly for a dozen or so awkward seconds as we all look on in silence. Charlie finally pulls a piece of paper out from near the bottom of the bowl and reads it’s text aloud.

A win over Charlie Nickles? Wait no, this can’t be right- that’s supposed to be in my Rel Dixon bowl!

Charlie turns to the camera with clear frustration in his eyes.

Cut, cut! Show someone else, there’s a million fucking wrestlers at this castle- there’s got to be somebody else doing something interesting! I need to sort this shit out!

Edward vs Mercy with special guest referee Muddy Waters who may choose to tag himself into the match at any time

Elm Street Boiler Match: Boiler room brawl

We cut to a shot of a dingy boiler room with fog and steam rolling through the air. The camera zooms in on the middle of the room and we see a man in a referee-style speedo wearing a Demos mask. A placard that reads ‘Muddy Waters’ shows up on the television screen near the man.

Charlie: Interesting halloween costume here for special guest referee Muddy Waters…

Marf: You made him wear that outfit, Charlie.

Charlie: It was in the contract, ok? It’s not my fault he can’t read the parts of the contract that were in braille! Besides, I only made him wear the mask. He said he wanted to wear the speedo to impress that fine ass lady he’s refereeing for tonight!

Familiar theme music is pumped into the boiler room from outside. The camera slides over to the right side of the screen where we see EDWARD JUNIOR pacing back and forth next to two massive water heating units that are blowing off mega-smoke. EDWARD JUNIOR raises his hand triumphantly as Muddy Waters claps unenthusiastically.

Marf: This is a big match for Junior tonight. If he wins, he can really start solidifying his own legacy apart from his father’s name.

Charlie: That little man might be begging for Mercy before it’s all said and done….

The words "They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21 you're no fun...." appear in dark red letters on the screen before cutting into the thrashing death metal sounds of "Severed" by Kittie. Graphic shots of plastic surgery interspersed with shots of blood dripping on a bright white surface flashover the screen. Mercy appears at the opposite side of the boiler room as EDWARD JUNIOR, walking slowly and with a purpose towards the center of the boiler room where she waits dauntingly.

Charlie: What a bad mama-jama.

Marf: She even gives ME the creeps!

Muddy Waters tells the competitors we’re getting started and it’s off to the races! Mercy immediately darts towards Junior, who is wise enough to get out of the way! Mercy clamors onto a few boiler room appliances, crawling from one to the next as Junior tries to keep his distance. After a few go arounds Edward Junior ends up running himself into the corner of the dark and foggy boiler room. Muddy Waters watches on from afar as Mercy starts to creep her way towards Junior’s corner.

Charlie: Junior’s gotten himself cornered here!

Marf: Indeed he has, Charlie. This might not end well for him.

Mercy starts to slowly move in on Edward Junior as he looks around for a means of escape. Finding none, he squares up and prepares to box Mercy when she nears. Mercy stands a couple of inches taller than Edward and seems to have at least twenty pounds on him: nonetheless, the smaller man resolutely stands his ground in the corner with raised fists.

Marf: You have to respect the resoluteness of Junior here!

Charlie: I hope he’s been doing his arm curls….

As Mercy nears Junior he punches her with a 1-2 combo followed by an uppercut. Mercy takes a step back and wipes a small amount of blood off her lips. She smiles unsettlingly at Junior before charging him! Mercy pushes Edward Junior up against one of the hot appliances in the boiler room, holding his back against the steaming machine for quite some time before Muddy Waters begins counting to 5!

Marf: I don’t think we gave Muddy the authority to DQ anyone…

Charlie: I’d like to see him try and DQ Mercy!

Muddy Waters reaches the five count and goes to pull Mercy off of Edward Junior, but he’s met with incredibly stiff resistance! Mercy finally turns to Face Muddy, but before he can do anything Mercy brings her hand up to the special referees throat! While choking Muddy, Mercy uses her other hand to rip the Demos mask clean off of the refs face! Mercy throws the mask to the ground before lifting Muddy up into the air for a chokeslam!

Marf: This is going to be bad for Muddy!

Just when Muddy reaches the peak of his ascension, Edward Junior charlie horses Mercy in the knee! She’s forced to release Muddy as Junior follows up his charlie horse with a few liver punches! Mercy turns around and pushes Edward Junior away from her. As Edward Junior goes flying Mercy begins to rub her knee and the side of her stomach intermittently.

Charlie: It looks like Junior’s packing some serious power in those punches!

Marf: He must have been training harder than ever for this match!

As Mercy clutches her wounds Edward Junior charges forward and slams her with a spinning DDT! Mercy screams in anguish as her scarred facial tissue slams straight onto the hard floor. Edward Junior goes to hook the leg for a pin, but Muddy Waters doesn’t go down to count the fall!

Charlie: Good boy, Muddy! Junior needs to learn the rules, there’s no mercy in this match!

Marf: Well Charlie there is technically a Mercy in this match, but you are fundamentally right: this match has a last man out of the boiler room ruleset!

Muddy Waters begins to explain the odd ruleset to Edward Junior. Junior stands up and starts asking questions to Muddy about the nature of the rules to this match. Junior scratches his head in confusion as he focuses on Muddy’s muddy explanation….then, Mercy sweeps Junior’s legs out from underneath him! Mercy drags Edward Junior to the ground and immediately begins chomping on his shoulder! Mercy spits out bits of Junior’s flesh only to begin gnawing on the man once more! Junior screams and shouts as a geyser of blood squirts out of his shoulder socket. Mercy happily gobbles it up as she tears flesh from bone.

Marf: This is getting nasty!

Charlie: I fucking love it!

Mercy begins to work her ferocious bites down, taking mouthfuls of Junior’s chest and ripping it from his body. Junior begins to tap his hands against the floor furiously, screaming ‘UNCLE! UNCLE! MERCY, MERCY!’ as Mercy continues to chow on him. Muddy Waters grabs Mercy and tries to pull her off of Junior. The special referee struggles to pull Mercy off of Junior and so he tries to call for the bell.

Marf: Not gonna happen, Mr. Waters.

Charlie: There’s no tapping out in the boiler room! You fight until one of you can’t fight anymore!

Marf: I’m not sure how much more Junior can fight, but he’s going to have to tough it out and show us!

Charlie: But someone needs to tell Muddy, because he’s still trying to stop Mercy’s momentum!

Muddy Waters is finally able to pull Mercy off of Edward Junior, who is now just a bleeding mess in the chest and shoulder area. The jungle man moans in pain as he begins to crawl out of frame while leaving a trail of blood behind.

Mercy turns around and screeches at Muddy Waters. Muddy raises his hands innocently as he tries to sweet talk the monstrous woman. Mercy isn’t having it. Instead, Mercy decides to interrupt Muddy’s sweet talk with a nasty headbutt! Muddy collapses but is caught by Mercy, who lifts him up into a sidewalk slam! Muddy clutches his back and rolls over in pain after Mercy slams him onto the unforgiving boiler room floor. Muddy Waters slowly rolls onto his knees….only to find Mercy standing directly above him! Mercy looks down at Muddy with a sick grin as he pleads with her for….well, Mercy.

Charlie: There’s technically no rules against maiming the referee in this match, so I think Mercy should go all out! Sorry, Waters- but we really could use the ratings boost from a homicide!

Marf: She can’t afford to keep her eyes off of her opponent- I know Edward Junior is hurt, but he’s not out of this match quite yet.

Mercy grabs Muddy Waters by the side of his head before gouging her thumbs into his eyes! Muddy screams in horror as the woman’s unclipped nails claw into his corneas!

Marf: Oh my god, this is barbaric…...I couldn’t have done it better myself!

Charlie: We are being treated to a real show of brute force in this one!

After Muddy stops resisting Mercy soon loses interest in the referee. Mercy tosses Muddy’s limp body down to the ground before she turns around to look for Edward Junior….but the bleeding and burned jungle man is already looking right at her from on top of the largest boiler in the room! Without any hesitation Junior leaps down and moonsaults towards Mercy…….only to be caught by Mercy in mid-air! She quickly drops him to the ground with her trademark move, THE FADED (Bernard PowerBomb)! Junior’s body slams against the ground and goes limp after the trademark bomb!

Marf: I think Mercy just about has this one wrapped up!

Charlie: We might be endangering her competitors by letting this one go on!

Marf: Welp, shit happens on the Marf Show.

Mercy flips Junior’s still body over and immediately locks in the Mort Noire! Junior is held in the hold for an uncomfortable amount of time before Mercy flips him over and lets him out. Mercy stands up and looks down at the carnage with a wicked smile. Content with the amount of overkill, Mercy steps over the critically injured bodies of Junior and Muddy as she walks towards the boiler room exit.

Winner - Mercy

Mercy stops suddenly. She slowly cranks her neck around to stare down at Muddy Waters. She takes a few long strides towards him before grabbing him by the back of his shirt. She drags Muddy Waters out of the boiler room and to god knows where while just mumbling ‘Treat, treat….’ to herself over and over again.

Marf: Should we intervene? Should we stop this?

Charlie: I don’t think we can, Marf. I pulled those papers out of that fish bowl. That’s a legally binding verbal agreement consummated into a contract. The law is on her side in this.

Marf: That doesn’t sound right.

Charlie: It’s the unfortunate reality, Marf. I checked with all the XWF’s best lawyers- primarily, Oswald.

Marf: Well, if that’s how it is then that’s how it is. So let’s see what we have next up on the card, maybe something a bit lighter for our more casual fans.

Charlie: Yeah, maybe….

Tommy Wish vs Bianca McBride

Jigsaw Match: Both competitors are chained inside a room….whoever unchains themselves first wins.

We cut to a shot of a completely dark room.

Charlie: And now, for our next match! A JIGSAW match featuring Tommy Wish and Bianca McBride...the first person to escape their chains wins the match!

Marf: This match type has always been a personal favorite of mine…

Charlie: Me too, Marf. Me too. Now, let’s turn some lights on, eh?!

Charlie presses a button in his control panel causing the ceiling lights inside the room to immediately light up. Tommy Wish and Bianca McBride are chained to a wall with heavy steel shackles wrapped around each of their individual ankles. Both of the wrestlers look a bit groggy as they’re seated next to each other against the wall. A collection of handsaws, knives, and screwdrivers lay on the floor just a few feet away from the competitors. Fresh stitches run down the necks of both of our competitors.

Charlie: We had to drug these two to get them chained up against the wall for tonight’s match.

Marf: Well, we didn’t have to. We wanted to.

Charlie: That’s right, Marf. We did this because we wanted to, and it’s our show….not theirs!

Marf: True facts!

The sound of a bell ringing is piped into the room with stone slab walls. The combination of the sudden noise and light seems to be bringing both Tommy Wish and Bianca McBride back to their senses. Tommy and Bianca make brief eye contact with each other before they look over at the weapons placed around them. Tommy is the first to move, quickly scurrying over to one of the bonesaws! He grabs the saw and immediately begins trying to cut the chains preventing him from freely moving his ankles. Bianca follows suit, grabbing a nearby screwdriver before trying to pick the lock to her own shackles!

Marf: Hmmm….I’m not sure these competitors understand the assignment.

Charlie: They’re not thinking like sick, deviant fucks. They need to think like us if they’re going to get out of those chains!

Marf: Simply put, none of those tools on the ground are for cutting steel.

Charlie: They’re only there for cutting flesh!

Tommy and Bianca try to escape their chains in their own unique ways, with Tommy trying to saw the chain and Bianca trying to pick the lock with a screwdriver. After making no progress, they both look at each other’s tools with envy. Bianca strikes first, quickly backhanding Tommy Wish! The force of the slap causes Tommy to drop the saw. Bianca chortles while she reaches down to grab the saw…..only to have her hand stepped on by Tommy Wish! Bianca screams as her fingers get crushed between Tommy’s boot and the handle of the saw.

Charlie: Now twist your heel, Tommy! Make those fingers hurt!

Tommy doesn’t follow the commentator’s advice- instead, he brings his knee up to Bianca’s head and knocks her silly with it! Bianca falls back against the wall, tossing her screwdriver to the side from the force of the blow. Tommy doesn’t waste any time hopping onto Bianca. All 320 pounds of Tommy climb on top of Bianca’s feminine frame. Tommy holds her down on the ground with one hand while viciously clubbing her in the head with his other hand. Bianca’s head slams harshly against the stone floor everytime that Tommy hammers her.

Marf: This is getting ugly for Bianca!

Charlie: Bah, she was born ugly!

Marf: She might look kind of hot with some blood on her.

Charlie: Now that’s a damn fine point, Marf.

Tommy looks to be doing his best to bloody Bianca with fist after fist, but out of nowhere Bianca is finally able to dodge a blow! Tommy’s hand crumples against the stone floor causing him to scream in agony. Bianca headbutts Tommy Wish while simultaneously kneeing him in the crotch! Tommy Wish groans as he slides off of Bianca and onto the floor.

Charlie: Right in the family jewels!

Marf: Tommy’s going to feel that tomorrow morning!

Charlie: Honestly, he probably liked it.

Marf: That is true. There is a good chance that the feminine touch onto his genitals could prove to be a morale boost for Tommy Wish in the end.

Tommy didn’t get the morale boost memo, as he is just clutching his balls while groaning on the floor. Bianca wipes some blood off of her mouth before grabbing the nearby saw. Bianca gives Tommy a few firm boots to the stomach before she attempts to cut through her chains while Tommy is down. She doesn’t seem to be having any luck.

Marf: Nope, that’s not going to get it done.

Charlie: They’ll figure it out eventually.

Marf: Tommy Wish has seen the Saw Movies, he should’ve already known and been ahead of the curve! But now he’s just laying on the ground!

Charlie: Look Marf, Tommy’s a stoner! Just because he watched Saw doesn’t mean he remembers it!

Marf: Good point, Charles. They’re making that devil’s lettuce stronger and stronger nowadays.

Tommy Wish starts to stir as Bianca is becoming flustered with her lack of sawing progress. Bianca sighs in exasperation as Tommy Wish pushes himself up to his feet just outside of her view. Bianca is just about to go back to sawing her chains when the sound of Tommy cracking his knuckles causes her to swing around wildly…….ONLY TO BE MET WITH AN UPPERCUT FROM HELL!

Bianca drops the saw and stumbles back against the wall the two wrestlers are shackled to. Tommy Wish presses the advantage and starts slamming Bianca’s body with a combination of body blows followed up by one final headbutt that collapses McBride to the ground. Tommy turns around with a satisfied smile as he walks back to the collection of tools on the floor.

Charlie: I wonder what Tommy is going to choose next!

Marf: Pick the knife, Tommy! Pick the knife!

Tommy Wish bends down and grabs a moderately sized skinning knife from off the floor. He takes a quick step around and starts walking briskly towards the shackle wall.

Marf: Yes, yes! Gut her!

Tommy starts trying to use the tip of the knife to pry the bolts connecting the chain to the wall loose. Tommy tries to maneuver the knife in a variety of positions, but nothing seems to be working. Meanwhile Bianca has regained her senses and is crawling over towards Tommy, who doesn’t seem to notice her.

A few moments pass before Bianca jumps up and grabs a hold of Tommy Wish! Tommy drops his knife frantically as he tries to defend himself, but it’s no use! Bianca swiftly delivers a russian leg sweep that sends both wrestlers tumbling down to the floor!

Charlie: Oof- that’s on 12th century stone. That’s got to hurt!

Marf: I want to see them hurt each other more!

Charlie: Me too, Marf….me too.

Bianca starts repaying the favor to Tommy Wish as she absolutely takes him to task on the ground! One punch, then another, then another! It isn’t long before Tommy Wish is busted open by the force of Bianca’s fists to the face.

Marf: She’s really got him floundered here! I don’t know how Tommy’s going to change the momentum around!

Charlie: I don’t know either, Marfy!

The fists continue to rain down on Tommy as his hands start blindly searching for something on the floor…...a few moments go by before Tommy is able to get his hands on the familiar handle. Then, he stabs Bianca in the gut!


Marf: Stab her more! Make her bleed!

Charlie: She’s already bleeding, Marf!

Marf: Make her bleed more! I want to see blood on the Marf show!

Charlie: The Marf Show- sponsored by Kellogs breakfast cereal! Eat your Kellogs or die, bitches!

As Charlie plugs the sponsor, Tommy Wish proceeds to stab Bianca in the stomach again. She slides off of his body as shock takes over her. Blood starts to flow from her guts as she tries to apply pressure to the wound. Her face is going a pale white…...Tommy stares down at her eyes. Then, his gaze goes lower- down to the fresh stitch wound on her neck, specifically.

Charlie: I think Tommy might be figuring out what he needs to do….

Tommy kneels over Bianca with a bloody face and a bloody blade. She looks up at him with wide eyes as he grips her by the neck. With one quick slice of the blade the stitches on Bianca’s neck are ripped apart. A small silver key falls onto the floor! Tommy throws down his blade and grabs the silver key. He looks down at the shackles around his feet and inserts the key into the lock. The shackles around Tommy’s come undone and fall freely to the ground. He stands tall and raises his hands in victory as the sound of a bell is once again piped into the room.

Winner - Tommy Wish

Suddenly four paramedics run into the room from a secret door on the side of the wall. Two of the paramedics are carrying a stretcher and run over to Bianca McBride. Tommy Wish raises his hands victoriously as he bumps into the other two paramedics that are standing in his way. The two paramedics look up to the camera and we can see they have Jigsaw masks on! Tommy Wish immediately sucker punches one of the paramedics and knocks him out cold. The other Jigsaw medic takes a few quick steps back before pulling out a can of bear mace. The jigsaw medic sprays Tommy in the eyes with the mace, forcing the Thug to claw at his burning eyes. The paramedic kicks Tommy Wish in the nuts, forcing him to fall over.

Charlie: Trick or treat, bitch! Hope you’re liking your show, Marf- I gave those medics specific instructions to kick Tommy in the nuts because I knew you’d like it!

Marf: This is the best Halloween present anyone has ever given me, Charlie.

The jigsaw medic grabs Tommy Wish by the collar and drags him back over to the chains on the side of the wall. The medic in the mask re attaches Tommy’s chains and starts beating the shit out of him.

Charlie: I didn’t ask him to do all this….

Marf: He might be taking this a bit far. It is just a Halloween prank, after all…who’s under that mask, anyways?

Charlie: Some bottom of the barrel guys from OCW…

Marf: Wait, what?! We need to get a handle on this! God damn it Charlie...quick, cut to something else!

[Image: image0-2.png]

Betsy Granger calls out as Lycana enters the room to greet her. Temporary seating has been set up around a collapsible table, and Granger rises to meet her. Something bothers her, however, about the look on Lycana’s face.

GRANGER: Is everything okay?

LYCANA: Yeah… it’s just… there’s something weird about this place, don’t you think?

GRANGER: You mean aside from it being an old spooky ruin of a castle where hundreds of people were probably tortured to death.

LYCANA: Well yeah, aside from that.

GRANGER: To be honest, it’s mostly that part that’s been bothering me.

LYCANA: I feel like someone might be following me.

GRANGER: Is it Dracula?

Lycana leers at her partner.

GRANGER: What? That’s not even a joke. I’ve been waiting here for him the whole time, and he was staring at your cleavage when last we saw him.


LYCANA: What was that?!

How high Lycana jumped at the sound visibly worries Granger.

GRANGER: I have no idea. It sounded like it came from outside the door, though.

They turn back towards the door that Lycana had stepped through - an arch of old wood. Soft scratches can be heard from the other side. The two eye each other cautiously.

GRANGER: Let’s see what’s behind door number one…

Betsy jests, and it helps, as Lycana settles in and steps towards the door. Stepping to the side, she reaches for the handle, as Granger prepares to face whatever awaits them.

Lycana turns the handle.


[Image: GLdq34i.jpg]

Dracula leaps forward into the room, dramatically baring his teeth and holding the tails of his cape in his hands so it spreads behind him like the wings of a bat.

Granger and Lycana immediately put their guard down. Lycana rolls her eyes, mumbling to herself.

LYCANA: Now he does it. This asshole…

GRANGER: There you are! We’re running out of time. Let’s go get our planning on before it’s too late.

She looks at Lycana, who now seems much more settled.

LYCANA: Can’t I just kill him myself?


LYCANA: This is going to be a shit show.

Granger pushes Dracula out the door, and they head off to another part of the building to get away from the camera.

Lycana lingers a moment longer, looking back into the room.

For a moment, she could swear she sees movement in the shadows of one corner.

She shakes her head. It couldn’t be! She sets off in pursuit of her partners, shutting the door behind her.

Moments pass.

And a darkened figure steps forward into the centre of the room.

Marf: Wow, that was absolutely wild…..speaking of wild, what we have next up on the card is sure to be a barn burner!

Charlie: More like a casket closer!

Holy Roman Zombie vs Centurion

Night of the Living Dead Match: Buried Alive Match

Back outside, there is an opening to the left of the ring. The pathway goes to a huge mound of cold dirt and an open grave. Centurion is already there, standing in front of the open grave, staring into the abyss. He appears to be dressed up as the character Freddy, from Return of the Living Dead. Which of course isn’t the same as Night of the Living Dead so Centurion is already starting off on the wrong foot here. He doesn’t care and continues staring into the dark pit.

Charlie: How did he get out here so quick?

Marf: Hell if I know! Clearly Cent wants to hurry through this and not play tonight.

Charlie: What a party pooper!

Marf: Well at least he showed up to the big show.

Centurion is still staring into the open grave while the crowd begins to buzz. Emerging from the entrance is the Holy Roman Zombie. He mumbles through some inaudible gibberish before stumbling his way to the ring. It slowly meanders around ringside before heading up the pathway to the open grave. Holy Roman zombie shuffles closer to Centurion until he’s directly behind him. He raises his grey, boil infested arms up and grabs Centurion by the back of the head. Holy Roman zombie tears Centurion’s head clean off and straw spills out everywhere to the shocked audience.

Marf: Holy shit!

Charlie: Fuckin’ decoy!

As the Holy Roman zombie rips apart scarecrow Centurion the crowd begins to pop in surprise. The real Centurion sneaks up behind the zombie and smashes him in the back of his already mangled skull with a shovel. The Holy Roman zombie falls forward and drops into the empty grave. Centurion immediately goes to work, shovelling heaps and heaps of dirt on top of the wretched creature. Centurion brings the shovel down onto holy Roman zombie a few times for good measure and then continues to bury it. Finally Centurion finishes and has the Holy Roman zombie completely buried and the bell rings.

Winner by burial Centurion!!!

Charlie: That crafty bastard pulled it off!

Marf: Centurion with a smart little win I gotta say.

Centurion walks down the path with his arms raised in victory. He grabs a microphone and enters the ring. He points over to Charlie and Marf.

Centurion: Nice try but it looks like I out thought the pair of you two psychos! Now leave that damn thing buried for good!

Charlie assures Marf before standing up at the announce table. Charlie has a microphone of his own.

Charlie: You won the match fairs and squares Cent, ya got me there. However, my newly esteemed colleague Marf did set some simple rules for this special show. Rules you neglected to follow, sir! You never picked trick or treat, which means by default I will pick for you. And you're kind of being a bitch right now. Really, just who do you think you are to tell me what I can and can’t dig up on my own friend’s show? Enjoy your trick, asshole!

Centurion leans over the ropes and yells at Charlie and Marf but as he does this there are dozens of masked people rushing to the ring. All of them are wearing different Office characters for masks. Several Jims and Pams jump Centurion as he turns around. Dozens of them pound on Centurion while the audience boo what is happening. A Michael Scott picks up Centurion and hits a stunner, knocking him out.

Marf: So…are all the trick options just excuses to get people jumped??

Charlie: It’s the spirit of Halloween or whatever shit magic you wanna believe!

Marf: Fantastic…

Charlie: Speaking of fantastic, the next match we have on tap for you all tonight is sure to be a knock em’ down, cut em’ up affair! Let’s check out the action now...

Mark Flynn & North Korean War Criminal With The Wolfman


Betsy Granger & Lycana With Count Dracula

Monster Mash Machete Match: Win by chopping your opponent's monster creature into bits with a machete before the other team minces your monster!

NKWC, Mark Flynn, and the Wolfman walk into the arena from a decaying tunnel set against the side of the arena as the North Korean theme plays over the speakers. NKWC walks back and forth in perfect step to the tune of the North Korean National Anthem, wielding a ceremonial sword and immaculate military uniform. Mark Flynn sighs and rubs the temple of his forehead as the Wolfman looks around anxiously.

Marf: This is a real dream team here- we have the XWF tag team champions paired alongside the best Werewolf in this match.

Charlie: That seems a bit targeted, Marf….

Two North Korean cadets jump down from the stands into the arena and walk several paces after NKWC, wielding the glorious flag of True Korea, wavering majestically overhead, leading the way to a brighter future for all mankind. Wherever he is, the True Leader of the Free World, Kim Jong Un sheds a single tear of pride for the Greatest Warrior on the Planet, aside from himself. The Wolfman starts to salivate as he watches the grand majesties. Just as the cadets begin packing up the ceremonial gear, the Wolfman attacks! He swiftly shreds the two cadets and begins devouring their entrails as the North Korean music suddenly cuts out. NKWC sheds off the jacket of his military uniform and tries to hide the Wolfman’s crimes from the camera with an awkward smile. Mark Flynn rolls his eyes and taps his foot as he impatiently waits for the match to begin.

Charlie: That’s one way to make a splash with your entrance!

Marf: Now that right there is proper Werewolfin’. This is shaping up to be a good one.

Charlie: This song sounds familiar. Isn’t that your song with Lycana, Marf?

Marf: ….

Betsy Granger, Lycana, and Count Dracula walk out from the tunnel as the theme music plays through the empty arena. Betsy Granger bounces around energetically as she psyches herself up for the bigtime matchup. Lycana calmly walks through the entrance tunnel and into the arena propper, keeping her gaze on the Wolfman with each and every step. Count Dracula looks at his two partners with equal parts disgust and lust. As the Count reaches the end of the tunnel he unclips his cloak and hangs it on a conveniently placed coat rack. Dracula begins uncuffing his shirt and rolling the sleeves down to his elbows. Betsy Granger and Lycana both look back at Dracula in annoyance as he continues to slowly prepare his outfit for the fight. The two women grab Dracula by the collar and force him forward as they call for the bell to be rung.

Charlie: These women don’t want to wait, they want to start machete mashin’ now!

Marf: I think it’s time to ring the bell and let the chips fall where they may!

Dracula hangs back as everyone else rushes to the middle of the arena. Mark Flynn and North Korean War Criminal are both sprinting straight towards the two machetes in the middle of the arena, with the Wolfman right in tow. Lycana and Betsy, however, seem to be running straight towards Flynn and NKWC! As NKWC reaches down to grab a machete he’s met with an overhead kick from Betsy Granger that knocks him silly!

Marf: Jesus Christ, she made his head look like a soccer ball on that play!

Charlie: GOOOOAAAALLLLLL! North Korea never wins in the world cup!

Flynn feigns like he’s going to grab a machete, luring Lycana into attempting a headscissors takedown that goes nowhere! Lycana lands roughly on the ground. Before Lycana is able to get out of the way Flynn lands a few stiff stomps on to her lower back! Mark follows up the stomps by mounting Lycana and raking her eyes from behind!

Charlie: That’s a dirty move, and I can’t help but respect it!

Marf: I don’t want to see that in this match, he should keep it clean.

Charlie: Stop simping, we’re supposed to be calling this match down the middle!

Meanwhile, the Wolfman decides to charge past the action and straight towards Count Dracula! Dracula looks incredibly mortified as he sees the werewolf sprinting at him on all fours! Just before the Wolfman is able to sink his claws into the Count, Dracula transforms himself into a bat and flies to the other side of the arena!

Charlie: Well that’s fucking bullshit.

Marf: Real pussy behavior right there from Dracula.

Charlie: Probably got that way from hanging around all those women!

Marf: I don’t think that’s how that works.

Betsy Granger is right back at NKWC as soon as he climbs back to his feet. Betsy Granger immediately sicks an armwringer aka spinning wristlock on NKWC. The korean man winces and grimaces in pain as Betsy expertly twists his arm in the submission. Right next door, Mark Flynn is now pounding the side of Lycana’s head with vicious hammer fists. One after the other after the other….until Lycana is able to get a forearm up in time to block it! Then, she bucks Fynn off of her and scurries to the side to collect her bearings.

Charlie: Good defense there from Lycana! You can’t just lay on your stomach when you’re being hit like that, you have to figure out how to change your position!

Marf: Yeah, great work.

The Wolfman starts sniffing around in the air until he’s able to track the scent of the Dracula bat, then, he looks across the ring and begins sprinting again. The bat somehow sighs and rolls it’s eyes as it prepares to take flight once more. Meanwhile, Betsy has turned her armwringer into an arm drag into an armhook sleeper! NKWC howls for help as Granger starts to crank the submission!

Charlie: This isn’t a submission match, you have to win by butchering the other team’s monster partner….but I love this technical showcase that Betsy is putting on!

Marf: She is a fearsome competitor, that’s for sure. I’d say she is a great technician between the ropes, but, well…..there are no ropes in this arena! She’s looking like a fearsome technician in any venue!

Mark Flynn breaks up the submission with a big boot to Betsy’s face while the Wolfman sprints across the ring towards the bat. As the Wolfman nears Dracula he once again takes flight, but this time the bat claws the Woflman’s eyes on it’s way up! The Wolfman howls and scampers away as the bat flies towards the relative safety on the other side of the arena.

Charlie: This bat is a fucking pussy-bat. Like one of those bats they use for softball.

Marf: He’s definitely a shit-heel, but he’s letting us use his castle, so I’m not going to complain too much about his fighting style.

Mark Flynn climbs on top of Betsy Granger and immediately begins busting her up with hammer fists and 6-12 elbows. The larger man looks like he’s too much for Granger to handle as he hits her with elbow after fist after elbow. Mark Flynn has bloodied Betsy up and is really laying into her….when, out of nowhere, Lycana catches Flynn with a frankensteiner that lifts him off Betsy and slams him onto the ground!

Charlie: Look at her athleticism!

Marf: I’ve seen her do that move a million times. She’s got it down to perfection by now.

Before Lycana can carry on her assault, NKWC charges at her and sticks a thumb in her eye! Lycana recoils in pain and takes a few steps back, allowing NKWC to kick her right in the pussy! Lycana keels over and is pushed to the ground by NKWC. NKWC looks at the three XWF wrestler laid out around him and chuckles before grabbing a machete off the ground. NKWC makes eye contact with the bat set at least twenty five feet away from him. The bat struts around mockingly, like a complete douchebag, as NKWC squints as he holds his machete like some sort of javelin.

Marf: Dracula really is a dick.

Charlie: Is that fucker going to….

NKWC launches his machete like a spear through the air! The bat, still strutting, doesn’t even notice the flying machete until it’s far too late! The bat tries to take flight, but the machete cuts right through it’s wing before it gets off the ground! Dracula screams in agony as the machete sticks into his little bat wing! NKWC yells out in victory as he makes a rude gesture at the Count.

Marf: War Criminal doesn’t have the match won yet, but he’s certainly put his team ahead!

Charlie: Fuck that bat fuck!

Dracula slowly transforms into his human self as blood starts flowing out of the machete wound. As he becomes human it is clear that the machete has become lodged in his left shoulder. Dracula looks around, panicked, as he notices The Wolfman is once again sprinting at him!

Marf: This is not looking good for our host!

Charlie: Good, fuck him! He fights like a sissy! I can’t wait to watch him die!

NKWC reaches down to grab the second machete, but Betsy Granger is back on her feet and waiting for him! The bleeding ginger grabs leaps into the air and smacks NKWC with a single leg dropkick! NKWC is sent reeling backwards and away from the machete, in the direction of Mark Flynn. Flynn is just starting to get his bearings back as he rises to his knee….only for NKWC to trip over him and send both men collapsing to the ground! Betsy winks cutesily at the clumsy men as she helps her own partner climb up to a standing position.

Marf: He’s going to kill Dracula!

Charlie: Wolfman for life!

The Wolfman leaps and pounces onto the Count!


The Count pulls the machete out of his shoulder with his right hand and holds it high in the air! The simpleminded fervor of the Wolfman is too powerful, and he doesn’t even notice that he’s jumping right on to a trap! The Wolfman bellows in misery as the steel slides into his flesh.


Charlie: I was really hoping he’d just fucking die, but if he keeps slicing up Wolfmen, he might just have himself a new fan!

The Wolfman slides off of Dracula, breaking the machete off the poorly made handle. The handle remains in Dracula’s palm as the Wolfman falls to the ground with a steel blade deeply inserted into it’s abdomen. The Wolfman begins to whimper and yelp as it scampers away from Dracula. The Count throws the machete handle away and mocks the Wolfman derisively as he crawls back towards the wall of the arena. Count Dracula uses the wall of the arena to steady himself as he climbs back up to his feet.

Meanwhile, Lycana and Betsy Granger have used their opponent’s clumsiness to their advantage! Betsy Granger forms a human jumping pad as Lycana leaps off of her back and delivers a modified shooting star leg drop onto both of her downed opponents!

Charlie: What a crazy turn of events! Just when the Wolfman and War Criminal have Dracula two on one, these ladies soar back to life and start having their way with those boys! And look at Betsy’s face, just look how wet she is!

Marf: Phrasing.

Betsy follows up Lycana’s drop by delivering an elbow drop onto Flynn. Betsy quickly picks herself up before delivering yet another elbow drop to NKWC! Lycana immediately follows with some painful stomps to the back of NKWC’S skull. Betsy Granger looks down at Flynn, then down at the machete sitting a few feet away. Betsy turns away from her downed foes and dashes towards the machete, picking it up and charging at the still fleeing wolfman all in one swift motion!

Charlie: Lycana chose to get some revenge and Betsy chose to chase the objective. Who could have predicted that one?

Marf: Well the objective involves butchering a cute little wolf, so it’s not exactly Betsy’s normal Thursday evening affair.

Charlie: Cute wolf? That thing is hideous.

Marf: I think werewolves are beautiful.

Charlie: We know.

As Betsy screams at Dracula to help her chase the speedy Wolfman, Lycana drags NKWC to his feet by his hair. Lycana slaps NKWC around a couple times, forcing him to stumble around aimlessly from the shock of the blows. NKWC is stumbling around; he stumbles right into a perfectly executed face buster from Lycana! NKWC’s head slams against the floor and he seems like he’s ready to take a nap.

Charlie: What a big face buster from Lycana!

Marf: She’s an incredibly talented wrestler, there’s no doubt about it.

Lycana turns towards Mark Flynn and begins delivering a few stomps his way. She only gets two stomps in, however, before Mark Flynn sweeps her legs out from under her and sends her crashing to the arena floor! Both Flynn and Lycana quickly pick themselves up before engaging in a dramatic little stare down. Lycana charges forward at Flynn, but he ducks behind her while wrapping his arms around her waist. He lifts her up for a belly-to-back suplex and slams her back onto the ground head first!

Charlie: And that, children, is how concussions are made.

Marf: She’s tougher than nails, I think she can handle a few suplexes onto those chipped stone tiles.

Mark Flynn rolls through with the belly-to-back suplex, maintaining his firm grip around Lycana’s waist the entire time. Flynn rolls right back up to his feet and lifts Lycana up for a second suplex all in one fell swoop before slamming her head down onto the stone flooring for a second time! After the second belly-to-back suplex Flynn releases his grip on Lycana and lets her body roll to the side next to NKWC.

Mark Flynn leaps to his feet and begins chasing after the machete-wielding Betsy Granger, who is leaving droplets of blood all across the arena as she chases the ever elusive Wolfman. As the Wolfman makes a particularly slow turn, Mark Flynn is able to catch up with Betsy just before she is able to slice the Wolfman! Flynn brings Betsy down with a football tackle that sends the machete flying to the floor. The bleeding Betsy isn’t content to be mounted, so she immediately elbows Flynn right in the nose. Mark brings his hands up to his bleeding nose and begins to wonder if it’s fractured as Betsy crawls out from his grasp and picks herself up to her feet. Mark Flynn turns back to look at her only in time to eat a reverse roundhouse kick right on the nose! Flynn falls over onto his back and begins clutching his broken and bloodied nose with both hands. Betsy looks down at Flynn, then back over at the Wolfman, who has now ceased his running and has begun howling in place.

Marf: Looks like the Wolfman is getting over his panic and is beginning to regain some of his strength.

Charlie: Maybe Dracula can start to match his intensity sometime.

As if on cue, Dracula licks his fingers and applies his saliva to the open wound on his shoulder. Dracula grimaces mightily, but after a few seconds go by the Count’s skin appears to be mostly healed. The vampire stares down the howling Wolfman across the arena before darting towards him in the blink of an eye! Betsy joins Dracula, but is much slower to the punch!

The Count hops on top of the Wolfman and begins raking his eyes out with his inhuman nails! Dracula follows up his blinding attack with a starved bite to the Wolfman’s neck that rips out a huge chunk of furry flesh! The Wolfman stumbles back towards the wall of the arena as it howls in pain. Betsy Granger makes the most of her opportunity and begins slicing away at the wolfman’s legs with her machete! One slice after the other, the Wolfman’s ankles and thighs are being shredded to the bone in some places by Betsy’s cuts!

Charlie: The Wolfman is going to need some help here! He’s in a bad spot!

Marf: It’s not looking good for our tag team champs. It’s looking even worse for this Talbott bloke…

As Betsy and Dracula continue to rip away at the pinned up Wolfman, both Lycana and NKWC begin rising to their feet. As they rise up off their knees they quickly exchange glances with each other….then NKWC blows a cloud of green mist right into Lycana’s eyes! Lycana rolls over but quickly scurries back up to her feet, but she’s clearly blinded! She tries to land a few punches, but she can’t see NKWC well enough to hit him! War Criminal dodges her attacks before kicking her in the gut!

Charlie: NKWC has Lycana in a rough spot, but he might need to change course and go help The Wolfman if he wants to win this one for that shithole country!

NKWC lifts Lycana up and attempts a Jackhammer (a la Goldberg). NKWC holds Lycana high up in the air for an ungodly amount of time….and then she decides to start kneeing him in the head repeatedly! After four or five huge knees to the head, NKWC looks groggy and falls over! He loses his grip on Lycana, and she falls from the air to the stone floor! The two of them completely wipe out next to each other as the Wolfman continues to howl from across the arena!

Marf: That’s a big mistake from War Criminal. He lost focus of the objective, and now the Wolfman is paying for it.

Charlie: Those knees to the skull look like they rocked him! Mark Flynn may be the Wolfman’s last hope!

Mark Flynn is bringing himself up to his feet and shaking the cobwebs out of his head as Dracula and Betsy continue to go HAM on the Wolfman. The Wolfman is squirming and shivering as the blood continues to be slashed, ripped, bitten, and clawed out of him! His flesh is being ripped from the bone, and his howls are slowly starting to quiet.

Charlie: The Wolfman is starting to look like a wine-stained rug!

Marf: This is fucking brutal. When are you going to call it?

Charlie: When he’s dead!

Mark Flynn howls fiercely as he charges fowarth to defend his furry partner. He locks his hands together before clubbing an unsuspecting Betsy Granger repeatedly in the back of the head until she falls to her knees. Flynn clubs Granger again for good measure and sends her down to the floor. Dracula pays no mind to Mark and continues tearing at the neck of the Wolfman with his fangs. Mark looks up at the brutal scene with a grimace before looking at the ground near his feet. Flynn grabs the machete from Granger’s grip before driving it deep into the ribcage of Count Dracula! The vampire screeches like a demon and immediately relinquishes it’s hold on the Wolfman, but the Wolfman grabs onto Dracula and lifts him up into a powerbomb position! Mark Flynn pulls the machete out of the vampire and goes to stab him again, but it’s no use! The Vampire’s body is being hauled across the arena! The Wolfman runs forward on two legs as it lifts the Count high into the air! Flynn looks on in wonder as the Wolfman delivers a sit-out powerbomb right onto Lycana’s body!

Charlie: Holy shit!

Marf: I thought The Wolfman was going to be dead!

Charlie: With all that blood he’s losing, he still might be!

Both the Wolfman and Dracula lay still on the ground near Lycana and NKWC. Mark Flynn, machete in hand, begins stepping towards the center of the carnage with a satisfied smile spread across his face.

Mark Flynn only takes a few steps before that smile is wiped right off of his face by a rolling koppu kick to the back of his head! Mark Flynn stumbles forward and uses his hands to prevent himself from totally falling flat. As Mark Flynn pushes himself back to his feet Betsy Granger charges at him and hits him with a running full nelson facebuster! Blood squirts out of Flynn’s forehead as soon as his skull bangs against the floor!


Marf: Er- what? What the hell are you talking about Charlie?! We are seeing Betsy use her supreme speed and agility to outmaneuver her opponents, and you’re over here talking gibberish!

Charlie: That’s the name of Betsy’s secondary finishing move that she just unleashed to perfection!

Marf: I’m pretty sure that’s not at all how it’s pronounced!

Charlie: Cut a guy some slack! It’s her secondary finisher, okay?! It’s not like I get to hear it said often!

Marf: No matter what the move is called, I think it may have just knocked Flynn’s lights out!

Betsy Granger grabs the machete out of Flynn’s unconscious hand and begins the slow walk to!?! In the center of the ring?!

Charlie: Holy shit, it looks like Talbott has lost his wolf form!

Marf: How late has this show gone?!?!

Charlie: Do you think that Dracula prick cast a spell on him while he was gnawing off his ear?! I’d have to check, but that might be against the rules!

Marf: Charlie- the only rule on the Marf Show is that there is no rules! Betsy Granger is going to have to murder the human Talbott with the machete in order to win this match-up against the XWF tag team champions!

Charlie: That’s so sick and fucking twisted, Marf- I love it. Does she have what it takes to kill a, um, somewhat innocent man in order to advance her own career and really secure her claim to the XWF tag gold? I know Lycana has it in her, but does Betsy?

Betsy Granger, blood still dripping down her face, slowly approaches the shivering Talbott. The man’s flesh appears to have been sliced and diced hundreds of times. White bone is visible in many areas on his shoulders and legs, evidence of flesh that once was but is no longer. The man is almost entirely coated in red….and he begs, in a soft and pleading voice…..for Betsy Granger to kill him.

Betsy Granger steps to Talbott as his body begins to shake and seize.

Marf: Should we uh, should we call this one?

Charlie: He doesn’t look dead yet to me.

Betsy Granger looks into the camera and waits for the sound of a bell to be piped into the castle. She hears nothing. Betsy looks down at the nearly gutted man who’s shaking is growing more and more intense with every passing second. Betsy Granger looks away from the man as she raises her machete….

"Let me do it."

“No. I did this to him, I should see it through.”

Lycana rises slowly to her feet as Betsy Granger stares down at the half-flayed man beneath her. Betsy swings the machete through the man’s neck with all her might. His head goes rolling down the ever so slight decline underneath the arena. Blood squirts from his neckhole as his somewhat skeletal body suddenly goes limp.

Winners by Mutilation - Count Dracula, Lycana, and Betsy Granger

Mark Flynn and North Korean War Criminal come together and slowly make their way through the exit with a sunken demeanor. Dracula looks around, spits at his teammates, then magically transforms back into a bat and flies up into the darkness.

Charlie: Well that’s another dick move by Dracula.

Marf: Lycana and Betsy were kinda bitchy to him in those promos though, I can’t blame the guy for lashing out.

Lycana and Betsy Granger begin to walk towards the exit, when suddenly, the lights go completely out. Darkness shrouds the ring.

MARF: It seems like the power has gone out here.

NICKLES: God damn it, I thought you fucking paid the power people?

MARF: I did!

Seconds pass.

A minute even.

With a CRACK! of thunder up above, the lights come back on but Betsy Granger is nowhere to be found. Instead, Lycana stands in the middle of the ring.

But she is not alone.

MARF: Someone’s behind Lycana!

A figure, clad completely in black, stands behind her.

She senses something is afoot, and slowly turns around to see what is behind her.

NICKLES: Where the hell did Betsy go?

MARF: I hoped I was wrong, but I knew Lycana couldn’t trust her! Just give me a second here…

Before Marf moves, Lycana has the opportunity to catch just a glimpse of the figure behind her. She doesn’t have time to react, as another CRACK rips out across Romania, and the lights go out once more.

NICKLES: Oh for fuck’s sake! Excuse me for the disruption here, everybody. It’s so hard to find good help.



A minute.

Something flickers on the X-Tron.

NICKLES: Now what?

[Image: H4Ic2E6.gif]

NICKLES: ‘I accept?’ What does that mean?

The lights flash on, brighter than ever before. Slowly, they settle back into their regular brightness, and Betsy has returned to Lycana’s side, looking absolutely flabbergasted by what just happened.

There is a third person, though.

NICKLES: Look at the stage!

Standing underneath the X-Tron…

MARF: That sonofabitch. It’s Alias! He’s here in Romania!

Lycana looks completely shocked at the sight of the Universal Champion standing underneath the X-Tron that still displays those two words.

MARF: I think Alias has just accepted Lycana’s challenge for Bad Medicine!

NICKLES: I got screwed! It should have been me! Whatever. I’m not buying the pay per view.

MARF: Alias vs. Lycana…A rematch, this time for the Universal Championship!

The camera fades to a commercial, as Alias, stoic, stares down Lycana, who lets a small smirk cross her face…….

Marf: This is big fucking news….but we still have another big time match-up tonight, Charlie. I think our competitors are taking their places now!

Elijah Martin vs Morbid Angel vs Rampage

Castle of 1000 Corpses Match: All 3 competitors start from the top of the castle and have to escape to the main floor and out the front door first

We cut now to the very top of the massive castle. In the small attic room waits Rampage, Elijah Martin and Morbid Angel. An unknown buzzer goes off and the race to the bottom of the castle officially begins. The three men all eye one another up and down. Rampage throws a heavy punch at Morbid but gets blocked. Elijah grabs them both by the heads and bashes them together. Elijah shoves Rampage into the wall before turning and getting nailed with a cross chop from Morbid. Elijah stops in his tracks and then nails Morbid with a cross chop of his own.

Charlie: Well this is a slow start to a race!

Marf: Pretty sure these assholes are going to beat one another every step of the way first.

Charlie: They better not damage the castle, I can’t afford to lose the down payment.

Marf: What down payment? We used one of those cheques from Vinnie you stole, remember?

Charlie: Oh right! Sweet deal! Smash it up boys!

Elijah and Morbid trade chops back and forth until it turns into hard punches. Rampage charges them and hits both men with a double clothesline that crushes them both into the wall. They drop to the ground while Rampage turns and heads down the wobbly ladder to the hallway below. Rampage looks down the narrow hallway but it stops at a dead end. With a door on the left and a door on the right Rampage goes for the left door. He enters a room that is lit up bright yellow. As soon as Rampage steps inside there are multiple people dressed as sun flowers.

Rampage looks around at the weirdly dressed folks before trying to find an exit to the room. Suddenly all of the flower clad people start grabbing themselves and vigorously masturbate until Rampage is hit with some yellow powder. A few times it hits him in the face and he staggers around and falls down. Rampage screams out in pain while scratching at his swollen eyes. The powder seems to be some kind of pollen extract. Morbid heads down the ladder as Rampage stumbles out of the bright yellow room.

Marf: Hey how potent did you make that pollen powder?

Charlie: I dunno, was I supposed to check that?

Marf: I feel like we’re both gonna get in a lot of trouble for this show…

Charlie: I’m sure I can find a way to get Vinnie and Theo to blame each other.

Elijah hops down from the ladder and lands double knees onto Morbid, driving them both into the door to the right. The two men fall into the room which is not yellow like the one to the left. Elijah is up first and gets to close to the wall where there are multiple mountain lions chained to. Elijah gets tackled by one of the cougars and rolls away before getting mauled. Morbid gets up and headbutts Elijah, driving him back. Morbid shoves Elijah into the mountain lions while Rampage stumbles into the room half blindly.

Two of the mountain lions go for Elijah but let go of him once Rampage crashes into all of them. Rampage yells out in pain as one of the cougars slashes his stomach with it’s sharp claws. Morbid grabs Rampage as he staggers away from the lions. Morbid has Rampage by the throat and manages to hit a choke slam on the huge man. Due to his size, Rampage actually smashes through the floor and into a dark pool of water in the room below. Elijah dives from the cougars and hits a hurricarona on Morbid that sends both men tumbling to the floor below.

Marf: What the hell is in that water?

Charlie: Do you reeeeeally want to know the answer to that?

Marf: ………….yes.

Charlie: A shitload of leeches!

Rampage stands up in the waist deep pool of water and grabs hold of the stunned Morbid Angel. Rampage drives an elbow into Morbid’s face, busting his nose open. Elijah steps up onto the hunched over Morbid and connects with a shining wizard to Rampage. The big man falls back against the liner of the pool and it breaks under his weight. The water splashes out everywhere and leeches can be seen all over the ground as well as the three competitors. Elijah gets to his feet and turns right into a power slam from Morbid.

Morbid gets back up and starts pulling leeches off of his body. With a handful of leeches he wipes the blood from his damaged nose. Morbid then actually tosses a leech into his mouth and gives it a chew. He shrugs and finishes it off before turning and booting Rampage in the ribs. Morbid grabs Rampage and hits a snap DDT onto the floor. Morbid gets back up and exits the leech room, finding a staircase at the back. He makes his way down and then goes through a large curtain. The next part of the castle that Morbid enters is a hallway with flickering lights.

Charlie: Morbid Angel is starting to build a lead here.

Marf: Do you even know what part of the castle he’s in?

Charlie: I don’t think I’ve even seen two thirds of the inside of the castle…

Marf: God damn…

Morbid cautiously moves through the hallway as the lights continue to flicker on and off around him. A man in a bunny costume covered in blood bursts out of a doorway. He turns and thrusts a knife directly at Morbid who narrowly avoids it. Morbid grabs hold of the bunny man and lifts him high over his head. He then drills him with a press style ace crusher, knocking him outcold. Morbid gets up and enters the room. He immediately freezes as he spots multiple skunks. Morbid slowly turns to quietly exit the skunk room.

Elijah heads down the hallway and spots Morbid at the doorway of the skunk room. Elijah unknowingly charges forward while Morbid frantically waves his arms in protest. Elijah spears Morbid and the two of them drop just inside the doorway of the skunk room. Morbid freezes while Elijah looks up slowly and realizes. The two men remain motionless while four different skunks have their asses aimed and ready, in the deadliest stand off ever seen.

Rampage comes bumbling down into the hallway now. He looks around for a moment before seeing the open door and his opponents. As Morbid and Elijah are almost to their feet they see Rampage approaching. They both try to silently warn him but he just charges forward and then splashes down on top of both men. All three men hit the ground with force and the skunks respond by spraying them all simultaneously. The three men all scream out in horror and scramble to exit the room.

Marf: I’m not even going to ask if you gathered these animals in a legal manner…

Charlie: I didn’t.

Marf: Wasn’t asking man!

Charlie: It was really easy too…

Marf: Really don’t need to know!

Elijah hunches over and nearly vomits while wretching. Rampage stumbles around until he finds a door and tries going inside. As soon as he opens the door a wave of blood splashes out and soaks the giant head to toe. Some of it goes in Rampage’s mouth and he immediately throws up everywhere. Elijah starts puking now and Morbid rushes forward and big boots Rampage while he’s distracted. Rampage falls back and crashes through a weak wall and into an open room.

Elijah jumps onto Morbid’s back and applies a rear naked choke. He coils around him while Morbid struggles forward, into the new room. Morbid runs with Elijah on his back and then jumps, spinning in the air, and squashing Elijah into Rampage. The three men collapse to the ground of the open room, directly in front of a massive staircase. Morbid is up first and the smell of skunk mixed with the vomit finally overtakes his insides. Morbid lurches and then pukes a vile mixture of chewed leeches mixed with kfc popcorn chicken all over Rampage.

Elijah rolls out of the way of the massive puke tsunami coming from Morbid. He gets to his feet and rushes the dazed Morbid. Elijah hops up and then catches Morbid with a code breaker on the top of the stairs, sending both men tumbling down the luxurious steps. Rampage is trapped on the upper floor, throwing up uncontrollably now. At the bottom of the steps Morbid grabs the railing and pulls himself up. Elijah tumbles beside him and Morbid hauls him up for a back breaker. Elijah spins to counter with a head scissors that sends Morbid smashing through the side railing of the stairs.

Charlie: Oh man they’re right there! Better hurry up!

Marf: Why do they need to hurry?

Charlie: Because that’s the spider room!

Marf: Oh Jesus…

Elijah heads for the giant front door but Morbid comes flying back with a piece of the railing. He stabs it into the shoulder of Elijah who cries out in pain. Morbid grabs him and hits the Second Coming crucifix powerbomb. With Elijah down, Morbid goes to open the big front door when he stops. Hundreds of spiders are covering the door and walls around it. Morbid shudders but then turns around as he hears a cry from above him. Morbid turns to see a vomit covered Rampage rumbling down the steps.

At the halfway mark Rampage throws himself off the steps at Morbid. The huge man comes right for him but Morbid times it perfectly and levels Rampage with vicious clothesline from Purgatory. Rampage is turned inside out before hitting the ground frighteningly close to his neck. Morbid steps back to his feet and roars with domination. He turns around and Elijah catches him with a kick to the balls. Elijah grabs hold of Morbid and hits a modified version of the Prologue future shock DDT. Morbid’s head is driven into the front door, but the steel gate doesn’t give! Elijah and Rampage fall to the floor, clearly both exhausted! Elijah Martin begins to stir first, but he takes a long pause to wipe all the sweat from out of his eyes.

Marf: What’s it going to take for somebody to win this one?!

Charlie: Excuse me, Marf- there is a secret trap door into the caste I must now hurry off towards.

Marf: Wait, what? Why are you taking your chair with you?

Charlie: Well, Elijah’s a dick and Morbid’s pretty cool so I’m going to go turn a little trick like Betsy’s mom used to.

It isn’t long before we see Elijah Martin start to pull himself up to his feet. He looks down at the steel gate and starts trying to figure out the locking mechanism on the door. Then, all of a sudden, a secret door along the stone wall opens up and Charlie Nickles comes sprinting out with a chair.


Charlie Nickles raises the chair high and swings it down on Elijah, but Martin is too quick! He punches Nickles in the gut and hunches the big man over! Elijah snatches the key hanging conveniently out of Charlie’s back pocket and places it into the lock on the castle door. He pushes the steel gate open and walks out into the dawn.

Winner by escaping, Elijah Martin!!!

Marf: Well that sucks! I was also rooting for Morbid to win!

Elijah Martin raises his arms to celebrate but is quickly tackled to the ground by several people dressed as captain Spaulding. They beat on poor Elijah while screaming “trick” over and over again. Charlie stands up and begins to applaud the mayhem while Marf shakes his head, but even Marf can’t hide a slight smirk as we go to a commercial break. It should come as no surprise at all the commercial is for Count Chocula!

[Image: image0-2.png]


We see Charlie cursing underneath his breath as he rolls a wheelbarrow full of grain sacks down the backstage hallway. Charlie walks past various XWF wrestlers receiving medical treatment for the wounds suffered throughout the night, but he doesn’t pay them any mind. Charlie keeps walking straight down the backstage area with his wheelbarrow.

Marf: Well, it’s time for that surprise Main Event….Lord only knows what Charlie has in mind.

Marf presses a button to pipe in the sound of a bell ringing. Charlie smiles sadistically as he suddenly stops walking. He turns to a nearby door that is marked as the women’s dressing room. Charlie opens the door and jollily rolls the wheelbarrow into the all female locker room. The women recoil in disgust and make sure to fully conceal themselves as Charlie pulls a microphone out from his waistband.

Charlie: Tonight it’s all about Marf, so for our surprise main event, I wanted to have a match that I knew Marf would love to see: a bra and panties rock fight to the death match amongst all of our lovely and talented shooting stars!

Marf: What the….

Charlie flips the wheel barrow over and hundreds of large stones come flying out of the grain sacks.

Charlie: Now ladies, strip down to your undies, pick up a rock, and let’s get stoned!

None of the women in the locker room seem interested in doing any of that. Instead, they mostly just cross their arms, roll their eyes, and wait for Charlie to leave. Charlie looks around nervously, anxiously, hopeful that his big main event surprise match won’t be ruined….when, all of a sudden……..

MICHEAL GRAVES CHARGES INTO THE ROOM WEARING NOTHING BUT SEXY BLACK LINGERIE! Charlie steps out of his way as Graves picks up a rock of the ground and tackles the nearest woman and just starts smashing her head with his rock hard rock!

Charlie: Oh yeah! Smash her!

Marf: ….

Charlie cheers on jubilantly as the women in the locker room shriek and flee the premises.

Charlie: It looks like we have our last man standing! Rock on, Gravy Boy!

Winner - Graves

Charlie Nickles raises Graves’ hand in victory as women scream in the background.

Marf: Well there you have it folks, the thrilling conclusion to the Marf Show. If you don’t like what you saw today, well, then you just don’t like professional wrestling.

Special Thanks To
Everyone for their patience lol

[Image: h3DenEV.png]
[Image: qRPvsfj.gif]
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 JimCaedus  (11-03-2021)
(Gravy_Xtreme_5000) Offline
Rude Dude With Attitude!

XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)

Post: #2
11-03-2021 02:44 PM

Good show!

While the lingerie gag ending would have been great for Graves during his last run, it isn't something current Graves would do. No bog deal, but I'll be no selling that as a Gravy impersonator or something.

Good match Marf! Maybe the next step in our characters story could be teaming? 🤔

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Corey Smith Online now or has been in the last 30 mins
TITLE - Supercontinental

XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)

Post: #3
11-03-2021 03:04 PM

OOC: Kudos to you Charlie for getting the show up despite the rough patch. It was a fun read and worth the wait.

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