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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Stakeout
Author Message
Ruby Offline
The Super Dear'o



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#1
09-01-2021, 01:44 PM

From Ruby’s Go-Pro…

We find our bananest, and limest, of blurs sitting inside of her RuMoByle. With her Rubinoculars in hand, she is scouring the vicinity for any wrongdoings. To both her satisfaction and annoyance, the evening is progressing in a calm and orderly fashion. As the saying goes: “a superhero’s success is measured by her inactivity”. Unfortunately, that also meant…

Ruby: “Flip this mothereffin’ ish, I’m so booooored!”

Ruby threw her binoculars aside, and looked at the Go-Pro, which she had mounted on the dashboard. She turned it over to her.

Ruby: “Sup, my flippies? Sorry for the super ultra-boring superstream, but man… Stakeout days are the flippin’ worst! I’m trying to catch this dude who’s selling human kidneys on that there street corner, but in reality they’re really just cleverly carved up beets. I can hear you frowning now, and I know… It doesn’t make sense, and I can’t explain it. Why BUY kidneys on a street corner? Why sell them, even? And why not get some pig’s kidneys from a local butcher shop and sell them for profit? Why you carving up beets, my dude? Waste not, want not! Beets are a great ingredient. Love me some borscht. Boris once fed me a bowl after an Anarchy, it’s my third-best post-show experience in a lifetime. Where IS Boris anyhoo?”

Ruby sighed and picked up her binoculars again, scouring the street.

Ruby: “Yeah, they say BIRD is the word, but I say BORED is the word. Like my mans says, ‘you get all worked up, and all of a sudden you just can’t go’. A fair explanation for why he spends around half an hour just to go hit the head. Anyone who makes an age joke about that, I will have you in handcuffs pleading the fifth before you can say ‘oops I did it again, I played with your heart, I’m lost in the game’. Man, I love Britney Spears, say what you want about her, she has spent her lifetime unleashing bangers on the public.”

Ruby puts the binoculars back down, and rubs her temples.

Ruby: “Flip me, I much prefer a rooftop. Not that I don’t like getting down and dirty in the dumps with all of the street peeps, but it’s just so much more exciting you know? I guess you can turn that into an analogy, if you want. I’ve spent so much time as the Anarchy Champion, over six months on just my last reign, that I’ve grown accustomed to sitting on the highest level, scouting the major threats to #OrderToAnarchy and stomping them back down. But then Miss Fury blindsided me, and made my boyfriend the dethroner. Fair enough. Should’ve seen that one coming. And it was a great contest, and I’m not whining about it. It was an Anarchy moment for the ages. I’m just sad that the title didn’t stay in the hands of the good guys. No disrespecc towards my mans, because there are tons of mitigating factors, but it does kinda hurt to see Ozzo walking about with the Anarchy title right now. Speaking of which.”

Ruby puts an eyebrow up.

Ruby: “Ozzo, my guy! Congratz are in order, I believe, eh. It only took you about ten tries, but at least you finally managed to win a title that you didn’t have to come up with yourself! Cherish it, my dude. I have a feeling it’s not going to last very long! Up to you to prove me wrong. Heh, that rhymed…”

Ruby patted herself on the back, as there was nobody else present, for that incredible piece of pure poetry.

Ruby: “But hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. It’s all good. BoB’s on borrowed time, and everybody can see it. We all know who prevails in the end, and – spoiler alert – it ain’t the bad guys. Just look at next week’s Anarchy. I’ve honestly lost track of how many times I’ve beaten the THUGS at this point. Thomas and JB, they portray themselves just fine, you know? I’ve heard people on podcasts say that they’re one of, if not THE best team to have never won the XWF Tag Team Championships. That’s high praise…kind of… because it’s also a reminder that they haven’t exactly accomplished very much. Tag team specialists, failing at their specialty. Why would this time be different? Because I’m teaming up with Calypso, the dude I beat last Anarchy? My dudes, if I could make a list of teams I’d beat the both of you with by choosing a dude I’ve beaten as my partner, I’d need a thousand words at least. Calypso is one of many. He put up a decent fight last week, and that’s just it… ‘Decent’. Which, my guys, I am extremely flippin’ sorry to say… Is more than enough to beat the pair of you. Ouch. And… awkwaaaaard.”

Ruby put her RuMoByle in neutral, because she drives stick, and seemed to be giving up on catching the kidney-seller… At least for tonight. But before she even got in first gear, she pulled the handbrake like a madwoman!

Ruby: “Well color my dingdongs and ring up Mister Po! There he is!”

The Super Dear’O was about to leap out of the car until she realized her mistake.

Ruby: “Ohhhh no, that’s clearly Bertie Haddock, selling the fish he caught from Lake Michigan. See? The dangers of fool’s gold in display, my flippies. Sometimes you think you have the grand prize in sights, but it turns out to be a deception. But ya Rubes won’t be fooled. I know what I want and need. I need, and want, that Anarchy Championship back around my waist. The THUGS are fool’s gold. Calypso and I’ll take ‘em because they’re shiny, but they’re not going to get in my way of getting the top prize. And that, my dearies, is a flippin’ Super Dear’O guarantee!”

Ruby drove off with screeching tires, whilst respecting the speed limit. Obviously.

[Image: dY7KZz4.png]
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (09-03-2021), Dolly Waters (09-01-2021)




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