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Centurion · (08-06-2021)

Quote:?????:
Enjoy your vacation. You are needed in Cambodia when you are done.

(Finally, he can enjoy his vacation.

After being ripped away to join the War Games tournament at the last minute, Centurion and Ruby have returned to Tokyo for the Olympics. Despite the Games not allowing outside observers due to COVID-19 protocols, Centurion’s status as an honorary member of the Greek Olympic Committee has given him the credentials he needed to sit in the stands and watch the best in the world compete at the highest level.

Unfortunately for Centurion, he knows what’s awaiting him on the other side – a trip to a third world country arranged by the mysterious Mr. Blue. Centurion doesn’t know why he’s being told to go to Cambodia, and he knows, if he asked questions, he wouldn’t get the answers anyway. The last time Centurion was in Cambodia was for his infamous showdown with his now deceased father. It was the last time Centurion ever saw Mavdris Cortinovis, though he wishes he didn’t even see him then.

We open up inside Olympic Stadium in Tokyo, Japan. The lights of the stadium illuminate the athletes, judges, coaches, and small amount of fans that are within the confines of the stadium. The night sky sets a beautiful backdrop behind the stadium, with the city of Tokyo illuminated and offering a contrast to the black sky. Sitting up in the stands, isolated from most of the other people in the stadium, are Centurion and Ruby. Centurion is wearing a basic tanktop and shorts, in an attempt to stay cool in the Tokyo heat. On his right shoulder is tape – that kind of athletic tape that you see all the athletes wear, and it’s like…does that really do anything? Either way, Centurion is wearing it following the events of War Games. Ruby, meanwhile, is decked out in full Canadian gear, which is somehow different than the OTHER full set of Canadian gear she was wearing a week ago. She is sitting on the edge of her seat as various athletes on the track and in the field wander about, getting themselves into the right headspace for the next competition. Ruby stomps her feet on the floor with excitement.)

Centurion: You’re going to give yourself a stroke if you don’t calm down.

Ruby: I can’t help it! I’ve been waiting for this for five years. Andre was so close in Rio, but he was running against the fastest man to ever live. With Bolt retired, this is the best chance we’ve had since our independence to win a gold medal on the track.

Centurion: To be fair, you’ve only had your own country since 1982.

(Ruby looks over at Centurion and glares at him.)

Ruby: I’m not talking about the Canada Act, I’m talking about the Confederation Statute. I need you to keep up with me here.

Centurion: Look, it’s not my fault you have a boring country with a complicated governmental system. For us, it’s easy – we signed a paper, beat up the British, and now we have a country. There was none of this “oh, well you can run this part, but we run this other part, and we will send a person from our country to hang out in your country” type stuff.

Ruby: You know, the more you talk, the more I get the sense that you know absolutely nothing about Canada.

Centurion: They say “eh” and eat poutine.

(Ruby pats Centurion on the top of the head.)

Ruby: Yes, dear.

(The announcer in the stadium begins to make his announcements, and as he does, onto the track steps the athletes competing in the men’s 200m race. The other athletes announced get a smattering of applause from those within the stadium, until the final participant is announced.)

Announcer: From Canada – Andre De Grasse!

Ruby: YYYEEAHHH!!!!!!

(Ruby jumps to her feet and screams as loud as she can as De Grasse waves to the camera and the crowd. The crowd, meanwhile, all turn to face Ruby, as Centurion puts his head in his hands. Ruby reaches down between her legs and pulls out a Canadian flag, which she waves furiously.)

Centurion: Where did you get that?!

(Ruby doesn’t even listen to Centurion as she yells out toward the track. As the athletes get to their lanes, Ruby sits back down.)

Centurion: Did you cheer like that when I was announced at War Games?

Ruby: What? Oh, yeah, of course! I’m always this supportive of you.

Centurion: Hmm…I don’t know. I’m not calling you a liar…but I do have my doubts.

Ruby: Alright, listen, your match at War Games was a big deal, obviously, but this is for an Olympic gold medal! A HISTORIC Olympic gold medal! This is about being the pride of Canada…you know, that “boring country with the complicated governmental system.”

Centurion: Fair enough, but if I won a gold medal for my country, would you be excited? Or would you be sad that I had to beat a Canadian to do it?

Ruby: You’re going to have to pick a country first, my mans.

(Centurion raises his eyebrows in a curious fashion before looking down at his shirt. His tank top has the emblem of the US Olympic Team, while hanging over his neck is IOC credentials with his photo and the flag of Greece on it. Centurion just kind of shrugs his shoulders as he looks back up.)

Centurion: Fair enough.

Announcer: Take your mark.

Centurion: Though the question still rem *mumph*

(Ruby is now standing, and has put her hand over Centurion’s mouth to prevent him from speaking. All of the runners get to their blocks and jumps around a bit before kneeling down and placing their feet in the blocks.)

Announcer: Set.

(The runners set up in their sprinter stances, with their hands placed firmly on the ground. They all look up and stare down the track.

*BANG!*

The other people in the stands all begin to yell as the sprinters take off down the track. Ruby, however, is dead silent as she stands, bouncing up and down with nervousness. After 10 seconds, the Canadian De Grasse begins to pull away, and as they get to the finish line, he crosses first, securing the gold medal. Ruby roars out in what can only be described as a scream reserved primarily for young girls as a BTS concert before lifting Centurion out of his seat and giving him a giant beat hug. Centurion’s eyes grow wide as he is taken by surprise. Ruby puts Centurion back down before grabbing her Canadian flag and running through the empty stands in victory.)

Centurion: I have the weirdest boner right now.

------He’s Going The Distance------

Y’all are a bunch of mother fuckers, you know that?

When I reached out to the XWF upper management about a possible “old man match” with Steven Cooper, I didn’t mean LITERALLY! I meant a showcase of old veterans showing off some classic wrestling while remembering the younger generation that there is still life left in these old bones. What did we get?

Walkers, prune juice, and naps.

And listen, I’m all about naps. I think anyone who is against naps should book a flight to Afghanistan and hang out with their friends in the Taliban, because naps are the most American thing in the world, but the goal of this match isn’t to TAKE a nap – it’s to give your OPPONENT a nap! Why the hell would I want to do that? Why would I spend so much time beating the hell out of someone only to reward THEM with a relaxing snooze?

But I guess that’s one of the things that makes the XWF so unique. This place loves to go with the “weird”. What other wrestling company would have one of their biggest pay per views in a field in the middle of nowhere? “But Centurion,” I hear you saying “it was the sight of Woodstock! It’s historic!” It’s boring. There’s nothing there. There’s a tiny museum and 40 people that live within a 100 mile radius. My guess is that the XWF didn’t know that, and just assumed the place was a wild party town of something. They heard about Woodstock in a book somewhere and thought “oh, that would be cool!”

And it’s no different here. Someone said “old man match”, and the folks sitting behind their desks at XWF HQ thought “you know what would be funny? Prune juice!” Then they giggled and guffawed and booked the match without thinking about anything else after that.

I’m a God damn legend, alright! And don’t start with any of that “in your own eyes” crap” – no, I’m a certifiable legend. More wins than anyone to ever step foot in this company. Hell, I’m the CURRENT Anarchy Champion. I’m the focal point of an entire fucking brand! And Steven Cooper may not have the long resume in the XWF, but the dude has been around for a long time. He’s faced some of the best in the world, and his career deserves a level of respect. What kind of message does it send when you put us in the ring with all these gimmicks while you point and laugh at us? Are you trying to damage your own product?

Wait, don’t answer that. It’s the XWF. They’re historically known for torpedoing their own product.

Well, we can’t change it now. The match has been booked, and so we’re going to have to compete within the confines of this match. Which, I’ll be honest…assured Steven Cooper’s demise in this contest.

Not that a regular one on one match would have gone any different, but Cooper has a strength. He’s a hard hitter, and a technical master. You want suplexes and backbreakers, Cooper will give it to you. You make it a hardcore match, though, and Cooper is completely out of his element.

I’m not saying I’m “Mr. Deathmatch” by any stretch of the imagination, but I have quite a bit more recent experience than Cooper does. Just because I don’t typically like something doesn’t mean I’m not good at it. I generally don’t think tables and thumb tacks should be in wrestling matches…but if they are, then I’m as good as anyone in inflicting pain on people. You make that person older than I am, and you’re creating a bad situation for the poor guy.

And let’s be honest, Steven. I may like you, and I respect the things you’ve done over your long career…but if we’re comparing resumes, you’re not remotely in the conversation. I know I’m constantly referred to as the “King Of The Midcard”, but there isn’t a venue in the world that would book you above me on a card. I took advantage of the opportunities that were in front of me. You were never given those opportunities, and it isn’t because you were being “held down”. It’s because you had a ceiling, and you hit that ceiling 25 years ago. Since then, you’ve been touring the country, wrestling for nothing more than a hot dog and a hand shake, hoping someone will give you one final glance so you don’t leave behind a pile of debt for your next of kin.

Thank God for Ned Kaye, am I right? If it wasn’t for him plucking you out of complete obscurity, you would have been dead in a high school locker room surrounded by whiskey and Dilaudids by the end of the summer.

And hey, I’m not going to stand here and act like that wasn’t a possibility for me at one point. Every older wrestler who has gone through their fair share of struggles had a moment where they easily could have been the subject of a Memorial Show. The difference is, I got myself out of my slump and decided to do this for myself. Every match I enter, I do it for myself. I was able to go from the bottom of the barrel to champion because of the hard work and dedication I put into making myself better. I don’t get that same feeling with you, Steven. I don’t think you’re here to make yourself better.

No, I think you’re here to collect a couple of checks and be a henchman for your buddy Ned. I don’t think you have a passion for the business anymore. I think you’re doing this because you need to – you feel obligated to. You approach the business the same way a high school kid approaches their night shift at Wendy’s – it’s a job. It’s a way to make some money. Difference is, you’re not 16 – you’re on the other side of 50.

I wanted this match, Steven, and I wanted it because I didn’t think I would get another opportunity. While the opportunity to face younger talent keeps me motivated, I’ll never pass up an opportunity to face a fellow veteran, especially someone with slightly more experience than I have. But I knew I needed to do this now. I knew I couldn’t wait until next year, or until Relentless for that matter, because I knew that is just wouldn’t be possible.

Because you’re not going to be here.

I see the writing on the wall, Steven, and you do, too. The end isn’t coming – it’s here. At this point, you’re just putting your affairs in order and crossing some items off your wish list before taking your final bow.

Me? Hell, I’ll be here when I’m 80, and I’ll actually NEED those canes and walkers.

So congratulations, Steven, you can get this one crossed off your bucket list. You got to face the legendary Centurion before you hung up the boots for good. That is something you can hang your hat on, and when your lying on your bed, surrounded by your family, and they ask you what it was like to face Centurion, you can tell them that it was the best match you ever had, that you learned more about the business than you ever had in any match before, that you got to see an expert work his magic, and, in the end, you were another in the long line of people who met their…

FINAL FANTASY!!!

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