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JimCaedus · (07-21-2021)

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CAEDUS TIMELINE REWIND: When last we left Holly and Jimmy, the two had veered severely from a sweet debate on baby names to questions of marriage and into oncoming traffic with a head-on collision that saw Holly storming out on Jim...

Continued directly from "Then and Now p.6" in "Get Wet"
http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=41370

As she storms out. FUCKING LOSER!!

Cum-dumpster ass SLUT!!

SLAM!!!

Jim, frowning, turns to throw the bottle at the wall. It shatters, splashing white foamy head all over a poster of Roxy Cotton. FUCK!

Snatching up a recently purchased shirt of Holly's he jogs over and wipes the poster down. When he's finished he backs up and takes a seat on the coffee table. He peers up at the memorabilia on the wall, his eyes drifting to the pictures of him, Drew and Main...his gaze remains for several seconds...

At once Jim shoves his hand into his pocket, cursing at the difficulty to remove whatever it is from said pocket in a sitting position and eventually pulls his smartphone free.

Scrolling through his contacts and slowing...his thumb hovers over the name ROBERT MAIN.

"Then and Now p.7"

Jim taps on Main, then the phone icon, raising the device to his ear.

.......................................................Jim?

Jim quickly taps the disconnect, dropping his gaze to the floor for several seconds before-

FUCK!!

-and much like the beer bottle, pitching his phone now at the wall. Surprisingly enough, it knives right into the drywall, stabbing through a very unique poster sized pre-APEX photo emblazoned with the label XWF KAYFABE BREAKER and displaying Gravy, Cadryn and Caedus at Disneyland signed-

FRIENDS 4EVA!

-the phone now lodged through the top of the exclamation mark in such a fashion as to make it appear as a question mark.

Jim rises and stalks over, pulling his phone free, running his fingers over the damage and returning the device to his pocket.

He turns as the door opens...

...and Holly walks back in.

Forget somethin'?

Remaining silent as she approaches, smiling softly despite his unwavering frown. She wraps her arms around-

-Jim deflects the attempt, gently pushing her arms away. Don't.

I don't want to fight with you Jimmy.

And I don't wanna marry you Holly. It'll never happen so stop bringin' it up. This shit happens every fuckin' time.

So we're gonna raise this baby unmarried?

Yeah. ...We... Isn't that good enough? You can't honestly expect me to trust you. As far as the baby is concerned I'd rather it grow up with a mother and father in the same house. I'll do everything I need to to take care of my child but you and me...you'll hafta settle for what we have or nothin' at all.

So even if I prove myself you-

There is no "prove" yourself. You already cheated. Multiple times. Our relationship ended, we both moved on. You came back and now you're pregnant. That's all there is to it.

Poker face. Ok... Well, we should talk about income. I know most of your money went to pay the hospital bills and fines for the shit you pulled in that stupid wrestling crap.

Slight edge to his voice. The XWF made it possible for me to start my own grow business and buy this house. Wrestling provided very well for the both of us so don't get stank Holly. As a matter 'a fact, with everything paid off and my clean bill 'a mental health- Holly snorts. -fuck off... I should probably give Vinnie a call and get my old job back.

What?? Absolutely not. We are NOT raising a baby in that environment, you're NEVER home. And you wonder why I fucked around...

Loyalty's free bitch.

Snorts again. It really isn't.

Fuck yeah I'm gonna marry you. Look, I'm gettin' my old job back, end 'a fuckin' discussion.

The baby and I won't be here when you get back.

Jim's expression freezes over into emotionless......before- Fine. Have it your way. Inform me please mistress, what task shall I fuckin' perform to feed you?

I don't give a shit what you do, get a job at McDonald's. Pump gas. Bag groceries.

Seething rage. I should trade six figures for minimum wage, brilliant. Well, then, we're movin' on down, to the least side. To a caaaardboard apartment- under a fuckin' overpass.

Stop being so dramatic. I have my job, I want to work until or if I honestly can't. With a second income we won't go through the rest of your money so fast and still pay for everything.

I'd make more money growin' and sellin'. And that'd let me be around for you and the baby.

Ok, so get a job until the first harvest. The bills will be a lot higher.

I know what the fuck I'm doin', it was my idea. Stop talkin' to me like I'm a fuckin' kid and you're givin' exposition to an audience; there ain't no one here but the two of us.

Holly looks to our POV, good ol' Cammy. Jim traces her gaze to the XWF drone and back to Holly. Fuck off.

To be continued...
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"Mickey Mouse Horseshit p.2"

Park emergency crew are gathering.

Several of the helpless spectators scream as the figure ascends the Matterhorn higher and higher from the underside of the outward hooking summit, at last slapping a hand on the peak and losing footing, dangling one handed for agonizing seconds that seem to stretch towards eternity and a potential tragic climax.

A hand shoots down from the summit to grasp tightly around the figure's exposed wrist, the figure peering up into the blinding sun...

...as a silhouette rises to eclipse...

I got you girl. Gimme your other hand.

Reika's fearful gaze calms slightly as she swings her other hand up for Jim to snatch.

:::Interception, Caedus. Suck it rook'.:::

---Earlier...---

It'd been an eventful morning for our incredibly unpopular antihero avoiding a pile up and likely death on the freeway (thanks to his 007'd the fuck out APEX model Harley "Ewrecktion") en route to Disneyland.

Upon arrival to the park proper Jim had been gifted a Park Hopper, an honor he initially thought was due to his celebrity status until the ticket jerk informed him all XWF employees had been granted free entry. Not gratis food and beverages though, 'cause fuck you think this is, a bazillion dollar company? HA! Kill yourself peasant.

The first half of the day had gotten more hurty-feelingish when Jim witnessed several fed employees and roster names not even booked for Warfare in attendance and enjoying getting swarmed by fans while he himself seemed to rank somewhere between roadkill and sac sweat, the recipient of middle fingers, insults and flat-out apathy. Why, if not for the ever present though admittedly waning number of Caedus-groupies (these being of the Disneyphile variety), Jim woulda looked mighty foolish and lame.

The phone numbers and requests for poundings brought little comfort however and our antihero found himself wandering aimlessly through the Magic Kingdom before deciding on checking out the subvenue for his Xtreme Rules cage match over in California Adventure, Goofy's Sky School.

Gazing up at the track... 🤔 Hmmm...... How the fuck... Jim raises a nice long chocolate dipped frozen banana, with nuts, to his open mouth, casually casting his gaze away to see some pale AF chick with ridiculous dyed blue hair-

-Lycana!! She begins to turn and he flings the chocolate banana over his shoulder in a panic.

In the background. "What the FUCK!?"

Lycana, mouth wide for a fat bite of that cockdog- CORN, CORNdog -she's deep-throating, turns and locks eyes with Jim. Those same eyes of hers widen in shock before the fried phallus is pulled out. She somehow flushes red through a league of ~~face paint~~ makeup, he cocks an eyebrow in silent response. Lycana adopts a perplexed look, definitely perplexed, before spinning back around and turning her back to him.

Jim for some reason remains staring at her like a creep for a bit longer before heading off apparently towards Grizzly River Run.

In actuality Jim dips out of sight nearby and patiently waits for his quarry, deciding to tail Lycana as she, Reika and a third person (some tatted up attractively curvy chick he's unfamiliar with) bounce from ride to ride around California Adventure and head back into the Magic Kingdom itself...

...right through by early afternoon to the Matterhorn.

As Lycana's trio stand in line for the bobsleds, Jim orders a turkey leg from Edelweiss Snacks and carefully picks a seated vantage point from which to safely keep an eye on his prize, catching Lycana and Reika stepping onto the next awaiting bobsled.

The pre-ride spiel plays- drowned out by a short tiff between Lycana and the unidentified third chick as the ride operator checks the restraints for both and off they go...

... Jim watches them vanish before his line of sight wanders over to the curvy tatted chick. He sinks his teeth into the turkey leg, ripping fowl flesh away from bone and chewing.

Tatty curvy must possess the same instincts as Lycana because she turns to pin Jim directly with glare...

...a glare that seems to fade to what can only be described as "je ne sais quoi" while Jim continues chewing, and staring, his expression unreadable. He simply offers the universal "Whuttup" snap raise of the head.

Tatty curvy looks away and back. To her feet and back. Is that a slight smile?

She returns the head motion...

...then awkwardly returns her attention to the ride, chancing a second and third quick glance back to Jim.

A good 30 seconds pass before-

Jim frowns slowly in confusion and drops the nigh bare turkey leg bone, his eyes aimed skyward...

...to see someone emerge from within the bobsled track area and honest to fucking god actually start climbing the exterior of the Matterhorn, specifically up the side that curves outward to form a subtle hook at the summit.

Holy- Recognition hits. Reika???

Wasting no time, Jim flashes into action, wiping the grease from his hands onto his oddly lumpy shirt and making a mad dash for the 147 foot tall structure.

Ignoring the stares he receives as he makes his way over the black metal fencing, Jim quickly picks his way through the trees and shrubs and picks a position to begin his own ascent. Fearing he might scare Reika should she see him climbing after her, he had chosen an alternate route:

Having worked for the park in his early 20s as, coincidentally, bobsled ride operator, Jim knew exactly 80 feet up there would be an access door used by employees to enter the top 67 foot section of the mountain wherein could be found a basketball court and a break room. The only issue would be time. The time to make his way up the side, enter, and quickly shoot up the stairs to the Tinkerbell exit and access to the peak before Reika fell. At the very least, from the top he would be able to see where was and figure something else out.

Jim begins his climb. By the time he reaches a point the people below can see him, he can hear the murmur rise. This was taking too long...he had to speed up if he would have any hope of-

The lump beneath his shirt begins to glow, the shine of gold peeking through the cotton. He tugs the chain around his neck and pulls the golden nugget (an artifact granting him the strength of TWO Caedae Jim had stolen way back in 2017 right before Leap of Faith) free. He feels an overwhelming burst of energy fill his being-

-and begins ascending with leaps and bounds, his fingertips piercing the side of the mountain with each clawed grasp. He's nearly at the now visible access door, a cry rising from elsewhere at the foot of the structure-

Scant seconds later he flings open the door and makes his entry, speeding through the interior to the stairs and zooming up those- his motion now an impossible blur -to burst through the Tinkerbell exit and quickly claw his way up to the summit.

A split second later he's kneeling to slap a hand on Reika's wrist-

-catching her other arm-

-and pulling her up to safety.

The fuck you doin' girl, tryna get yourself killed!?

Reika responds silently by bearhugging Jim...the latter of whom seems to effectively lose all anger and frustration and hug her back after several seconds.

Several more seconds pass before-

Close your eyes and hold on Elor- Reika.

The glow of the golden nugget stabbing outward from between them, Jim suddenly LEAPS from the peak, landing many feet below on the nearest and barest of outcroppings from which he again leaps to the next and the next until-

-Jim lands onto the ground at the base with a thud, gently releasing is grip on Reika.

Before the adult toddler can utter a word, Lycana and tatty curvy emerge from the foliage at a gallop. They both halt at the sight.

Reika runs to Lycana for an embrace. She eyes Jim while she does it.

Jim flips her the bird and looks to tatty curvy who flashes him a look of "really?" before Jim turns to make his exit the opposite way and vaults the fencing, leaving the trio behind.

To be continued...
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[Image: 6nD6fe2.jpg]

(A response to Lycana's cold start "Notorious")

Quoting lyrics is weak
Make up your own, lazy slut
You're basic bitch, not unique
Now I'm ballsdeep in your butt

That's some Shakespearean shit right there
beeeeeeeeetch

Tavvy, Tavvy, Tavvy.

Shut the fuck up ~~darling~~...

...ya Malice in Wonderbland flea bitten braggadocios bitch.

We ain't sharin' no "same sentiments" about our last match. You wanna see what I'm capable of. All I want is that Xtreme Title and teachin' you a very unpleasantly physical lesson in the process, which, unfortunately, revolves 'round REVENGE for what happened in our tag match. You lookin' forward to bein' on the receivin' end 'a my private justice? Maybe you are...

According to you and Marf you're (paraphrasin') just some sadist wolf twat with a MUCH less talented sadist cro-mag gimp, both 'a whom admit to how much they enjoy chargin' headlong into disaster faster than Chaos hops on failure 'cause they "enjoy hurtin' people regardless of winning", remember? Of course you do, y'both legit said as much durin' the hype cycle for the tag match. And we all already know Marf "means it" 'cause he always gets his ass kicked, what the fuck else is he gonna do, OWN that? That leaves flimsy denial and weightless false claims. And you, you've INSISTED on defending and echoing those claims because if you don't, it proves to Marf you really WOULD rather rack up wins and he HAS been holding you back.

The problem is, and without question...

You no longer fit that LIE, 'Cana. You don't embrace definin' enhancement talent like he does.

You said you wanna see what I'M capable of because YOU'RE always "hungry for a challenge" and you "know I can provide it". A person who doesn't care about victory and only cares about hurting people doesn't give a fuck about a "challenge". Anyone can hurt anyone and they frequently do. A challenge is to be overcome, to overcome alludes to a desire for victory. In this sport, you don't overcome shit UNLESS you DEFEAT your opponent. You said you only wanted to hold the X title to get your future- and very likely next wasted (Hi Marf!) -tag title shot against TNGB. How long ago did you complete that goal? Are you STILL kickin' out in the 24/7 Halls anyway?

You're completely fulla shit. Lovin' how you flip to admit to most of it in your second promo btw...you can sink your own shit and look very much the liar I'm sayin' you are all you want, you ain't takin' these points away from me...

You care about victory as much as anyone else does. Your actions VOID your words...and now...Marf knows the truth. You simply feel sorry for 'im. You should learn to be more honest, Tavora, your lies prolonged Marf's suspension 'a disbelief in 'imself- I feel like this is deja vu or some shit. Do y'think your tender hearted lie is gonna make the pain for 'im lesser or GREATER in context with the epiphany he SHOULD be havin' for the infinitiyth time right about now? And he's poisoned and feelin' like shit... Yeesh, talk about beatin' a dead ~~horse~~ scapegoat, trololololol.

Jesus what a loser.

Anyway, you Lycana, you ain't convincin' anyone that every single solo and tag loss didn't sting. I know the tag abortions are substantial enough (Hi Marf!), as for the singles it was what, eight losses in a row before you started winnin'?

Now you're comin' off your fifth straight singles victory and into this match on a roll. I mean, yeah, three 'a those five victories came about with interference included and TWO 'a those three victories came about SOLELY due to said interference (see Betsy and Alias...oh and the perp Marf.......Hi Marf!) and that third against Page is SUS at BEST...but still, technically you ARE on a roll.

Therein lies the ACTUAL truth to you consistently lyin' to keep Marf gassed up and all in; he helps you cheat to win like the clown tool he is.

And you Lycana, are a manipulative usin' ass piece 'a playin' shit mindfuckin' Marf by pretendin' to be 'is friend and "more" despite the fact y'two STILL ain't fuckin' (can't give away the reward TOO quickly now you soullessly evil hooker). You flatter and you lie to get your way. You ain't shit but a

B
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makin' muppets outta the men who trust you. You're a Wolf Wanda ~~Maximoff~~ Suxemoff and the only Vision you have is clawin' your snotty snatch up the mountain without consideration for the hearts and minds you've been handed (and BETRAYED) litterin' the landscape along the way. You're trash on the level 'a character, deep down to your core, like chicks in their 20s marryin' old ass rich dudes without prenups...except there again they most likely earn that shit one way or another. One way AND another both meanin' makin' mummified phalluses skeet.

Own it ya cuck cock tease.

While you're ownin' it, stick every. Single. Poisonous. Compliment. straight up your canine cum crack and set fire to it. Flick that forked tongue in my direction one more time I promise you I'll yank it outta that toxic gape you call a mouth, wrap it 'round your throat and throttle 'til your eyes pop the fuck outta the orbital sockets.

...Wait. What's that? You beg to differ? Delusions 'a defensive retorts incoming? I got you all wrong? You AREN'T a selfish bitch? What reason did you provide for goin' after TNGB, Alias, Page and then APEX? What was it you said?

"Let’s go back to that question, wanting to know what I was doing by jumping from Alias, to TNGB, to Page, to you and Main... I’m doing ME, Jimmy."

Yeah. We know. You're doin' you. Tavvy. The only person that truly matters to you EVEN in context with TAG MATCHES. What was the other reason?

"I said it before, but I will say it again. I love to test what people think my boundaries might be.

I love to rip them down and throw them out, because the sky isn't even the limit for me.

I have no limits.

I’m fucking uncontainable."

...l-o-l...aight girl. Beyond the fact you're willin' to White Whale this clear addiction 'a yours at the expense 'a your dumbass partner over and over again, which is funny as FUCK b-t-w...

Tell me, tell us ALL, how that translates to the "we don't care about victory, we just wanna hurt people" horseshit again.

You can't.

You won't.

Shut the fuck up.

#1. You clearly desire to prove everyone wrong, VICTORY definin' the ONLY way. Yeah, that's right, victory is the only way to prove it and as the guy you wanna beat here, I'm tellin' you you ain't provin' shit to me if y'lose. If you lose, you've proven yourself pretty gotdamn containable.

#2. You have no limits? You have plenty 'a limits ya stupid slattern sorceress, honesty and sincerity bein' prime among 'em. As well, without Marf to make it happen, your limits were clear against both Betsy and Alias were they not? Without 'im you wouldn't have won those matches. ...Ooooops, now that Marf's been removed from the playing field, we'll see just how limited you really are won't we.

#3. "I'm fucking uncontainable." ...I can't. Legit, I just... I just can't with this. Do you realize how hard of a fall you're settin' yourself up for sayin' the shit you say? You're limitless? Uncontainable? I mean notorious, sure. Already notoriously arrogant. Notoriously sarcastic. Notoriously weighed down by enough clown white to keep Barnum in gigglin' grease painted pedophiles for life. Uncontainable. Christ it's like listenin' to one 'a the "I'm a big kid now" Huggies pull-ups ads. Five wins, two via cheating, one cast in doubt. X title or not, you ain't reached the status required yet to yap like that.

Your incredible ego hypocritically segues superlatively into another bee ess compliment alludin' to me bein' among the cream 'a the crop, a match-up people "might raise a brow, bring forth a quick snort and a sarcastic ‘good luck." 'cause it's you versus Caedus. If you're sayin' anyone at all is pullin' for me to win this you're blowin' smoke again. I got no fans here anymore whore, or hadn't ya noticed men such as the Left-Hand "hatin'" Alias inexplicably suckin' your clit with his weak "on the nose" metaphors and hells bells borne day dreams while floppin' fightin' words my way like he reeeeeally wants me to fuck my way to 'im at War Games? Not to mention, I'd say you- and everyone else -see me as an easier target right about now, as I'm sure Nickles did, a crippled Caedus tarnished by the loss in Leap 'a Faith and now failure to have fucked you up proper in the tag match. Your fake ass humble harangue merely displays further how fulla lies you are.

And quite frankly, it pisses me off...which'll only guarantee I stiff the hell outta you in our cage match with rock-hard relish before lookin' to make my escape for the win.

"The more I push myself Jimmy, the better I become. I learn. I do better my next time out if I don’t get by them on my first try. But sometimes, there are the ones who underestimate my ability, and OVERESTIMATE their own."

Yeah, I'ma tell ya right now, I ain't some textbook you can memorize and retake the test over. I came at you over-sexualized last time. You came at me with the jackin'-off Jimmy and arrogance combo strategy and ended up showin' more of an angry edge later.

Can ya tell me what we're both doin' this time around?

I came at you sans sexuality. You repeated your same arrogant combo fluffer tactics and are now gettin' gloriously gashy. Again.

You ain't learned a goddamn thing thot and I ain't the sucker you assumed.

Who's underestimatin' who here? Who's overestimatin' her own abilities?

"Win or loss.... I always fucking come out winning. In every damn one of my matches. It will always be the way I see it."

You see losses as wins? Then you're as much of a fuckin' imbecile as Chaos and Nickles ever were. I'll hand it to ya, you make your

sound good with all the bluster and ball-bustin' boss bitchery but it all amounts to Blunder Woman ball-drainin' boss botchery to eyes like mine who see through the mask 'a menace to the clueless clusterfuckery.

You accuse me 'a havin' the ego here?

I'm the one uncomfortable with bein' called a legend (somethin' else you hint at me definin'), you're the one callin' yourself limitlessly uncontainable while squawkin' on how hard of a fall me and my ego'll have after you win.

Yes Tavvy, everyone can fall, legends can fall. Y'figure that brilliant deduction out all on your own ya dipshit ~~detective~~ defective? Y'know who else can fall? Big mouth ~~mud~~ mung-slingin' slabs 'a sarcastic cocksuckers settin' theyselves up for a rude awakening.

You got the balls to tell ME not to look past YOU seconds before y'claim you'll be the one winnin' the match? Jesus jag-off Christ 'Cana...I thought you were smarter than that.

You're notorious?

Fuck notorious, I'm infamous.

Infamously harsh.

Infamously hard to topple.

Infamously fucked up towards opponents.

Infamously gifted at givin' insight into just how limited and containable Maleficunts like you really are.

Infamously cruel.

Infamously Caedus.

I want that Xtreme Title.

I'll do whatever the hell I have to to take it.

Spoiler alert:

I'ma kick you in the pussy so savage every future litter 'a pups you plop out'll be a mass miscarriage, motherfucker.

XXXFXUXCXKXXXNXOXTXOXRXIXOXUXSXXX

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