Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-28-2024, 05:51 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF Live! » 24/7 X-treme Championship
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
A message to the XWF RE: Can-J*p Connection
Author Message
Freddy Fabulous
Guest



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#1
07-06-2021, 06:51 AM

Freddy Fabulous stands in front of an old-school backdrop, a chain link fence with a sheet over it bearing the XWF's gorgeous blue logo, somewhere within the XWF Tower. He fluffs his mink stole on his shoulders and grins his unmistakable grin.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let the record reflect that the XWF has a wolf in sheep's clothing. We have recently been privy to one William Blankenship and his sordid antics. His foul mouth. His unrefined mannerisms. Quite frankly, he wouldn't be able to find the salad fork on a table spread unless someone else jammed it in his mouth for him. And sooner rather than later, that's exactly what's going to happen!"

"You see... Blankenship is banking on all of you to pretend he's brought in a pair of athletes. His racially insensitive tag team, the Can-J*p Connection, is not only offensive to anyone with more than a moribund sense of equity - it also demonstrates the dearth of intellectual honesty one would expect from those with a high level of moral turpitude. Because, friends, the Connection is in no way a top team. They are barely even athletes! Look at his men. Richard Goldhart is approximately five foot six and has the personality of a corpse. Monsuta-san is a walking health crisis with a BMI of over 100%. I recommend that Blankenship first of all rename his pair of unambiguously sedentary FANS to something more appropriate than a name more offensive than anything we've seen in the XWF to this day. I have already placed calls regarding this issue with Juni and Richard Wang, both of whom, I assume, will be returning my calls shortly to demonstrate how deeply, deeply offended they are over this team's name. My recommendations are as follows - rather than Can-J*p, they should be called the Torpid Torpedoes. The Antonyms of Athleticism. Obese and Deceased. Big n' Boring. Maybe instead of pursuing a wrestling career in a company which is already stacked with better talent such as the Big Upps, they could enter the dynamic world of before and after modeling for a weight loss clinic. Or they could produce a series of sleep aid audio recordings wherein Richard Goldhart is asked to speak for more than five minutes on literally any subject. The world is their oyster, but the XWF is not!"

"If you want to watch an excellent tag team, you need look no further than my own pair of stallions, the Disintigrators! Observe!"


At this point, Freddy steps to the left where a dressing room door is visible. He knocks, and after a long pause the X-Treme Champion Lycana answers, freshly showered, wearing nothing more than a towel to cover her naughty bits.

Lycana raises an eyebrow in confusion, and then the Disintigrators, Johnny 'Twisted' Steele and 'Dangerous' Dave Mustang rush onto the scene and begin to pummel her with hard overhead forearm shots until she is on the floor clinging to her terrycloth. Freddy Fabulous wheels over Steele's Harley, obviously struggling to move its weight, and gets it to where it is right next to Lycana.

"Gentlemen! TIMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Freddy pushes the hog over and it lands on Lycana, pinning her down. Dave and Johnny each lean on top of the bike as Freddy looks around for an official.

"You there! Is this your first day!?"

[Image: ucSQNop.png]

The man nods, but rushes over. He drops to his knees and begins to count!



1!



2!
Edit
[-] The following 1 user Likes Freddy Fabulous's post:
JimCaedus (07-06-2021)
Billy B. Blankenship Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#2
07-06-2021, 07:47 AM

Well good morning to you as well slobber-jaw!

I wondered when exactly Freddy, the pompous lard-ass, would decide to reintroduce us to his unfounded, non-sequitur, a damn right defamatory remarks, as he schemes and scrambles to duck the challenge issued by me, on behalf of the greatest Tag Team ALIVE, The Can-Jap Connection.

But while we stew, simmer and soak in Mr. FLABulous’ words, let me tell you a little story:

It was a beautiful morning in the trailer park, sticky and reeking of moldy half-working AC units and urine, but beautiful nonetheless. From a sunken in, half drained waterbed rolled Freddy Fabulous. Totally nude. They don’t knit Jammies that big. He slid on his formerly pink, now nicotine stained house slippers and proceeded to his shit-can. Freddy struggled through the door frame, with a helpless tear trickling down his fat cheek.

“Why is life so hard?”

He wondered,

“Why am I such a fat, miserable, non-tag team managing, Phoenix U Online drop-out, waste of an existence? What on earth could I ever do to save my boys the ass whipping they’re going to receive from the Can-Jap... oh wait! Jap?!”

Like a fire-poker to a smoldering ashtray, Freddy sparked up an ember. The gimpy, two-legged rodent running a marathon in the wheel of his integrally racist mind.

“That’s it! Like a fascist, I’ll stoke division and misinformation shrouded with my vagina juice! If I can make the world think Billy B. Blankenship is a racist, maybe the XWF will tear up his contract and spare me the shame and misery of being a bloated fuck-tard who manages a couple of knock-off Hell’s Angels who can’t wrestle worth a damn!”

The mental exercise was a lot for Freddy. He fell back asleep on his toilet for a while. Sadly, dreaming away the notion of context. When he woke up, he had it all figured out. He would defame the proud reputation of the Japanese Sumo Culture, by body-shaming a world class athlete like Kyodai Monsuta, and then suggest that Monsuta is associated with a racist act.

Do you all know the moral of the story here? There is no moral! Freddy Fabulous is a stinking ball of liver grease, and he owes Kyodai Monsuta, Ricky Goldhart and the proud countries of Japan and Canada a profound apology! A team name within the context of national abbreviations, a bridge building of one great wrestling society to the next is not a racist epithet.

I would question Freddy, the fur wearer what culture he found it necessary to appropriate that fashion from! It’s a disgrace to French-Canadian culture, just like your Sumo-shaming was to the Japanese.

Danny Lome and Juni are great friends of the Can-Jap Connection and share in my attempts to put a spotlight on Japanese wrestling.

Get it through your thick skull, shit-stain. Like it or not, The Can-Jap Connection is here, and signed to the most lucrative tag team contract in XWF history. They’re going to smack your boys around so hard they’ll shitting miso soup and maple syrup. In the meantime, have fun trying to win the boys a singles title, it’s clear they have no business in the Tag Team Division.

Thank you!
Fuck you!
Bye!
Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 2 users Like Billy B. Blankenship's post:
JimCaedus (07-06-2021), Thaddeus Duke (07-06-2021)
Referee John X
Guest



XWF FanBase:
(.Awaiting user update)


#3
07-06-2021, 08:27 AM



"NOPE! No! This is a dereliction of duty on the part of any licensed and bonded referee! That bald clown that just got off his couch and walked in here trying to count all the way to three without his Pre-K teacher here to hold up the appropriate number of fingers clearly... and I do mean CLEARLY... has never read the XWF Rule Book or its chapter on X-Treme 24/7 pinfalls! This is a bunch of gobbledygook! Nonsense! Flim flam! This Fred Fabulous man has no tenure in this company and cannot have pinfalls made on his behalf, as is SPECIFICALLY OUTLINED in chapter seven, section nine, subsection K! This is a miscarriage of justice, and I am right on up to HERE with this CRAP! FOLLOW THE DAMN RULES!!!"
[-] The following 4 users Like Referee John X's post:
Billy B. Blankenship (07-06-2021), JimCaedus (07-06-2021), Lycana (07-06-2021), Marf (07-06-2021)
Lycana Offline
The Dark Vixen of Violence



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#4
07-06-2021, 08:43 AM

What the fuck was going on in her hallway????

It went from dead silence to... whatever the hell this shit was. Lycana glares at all the morons around her, the air being squished out of her because the dickless wonders needed a fucking bike and both of them to try and pin her down.

The three dipshits all wait anxiously for the three but it doesn’t happen. Even the other fucktard with the ripped off name from an old extreme elimination show is staring in wonder. They all stay frozen in place like the single celled organisms they basically are as the old referee is dragged away before he counts the three. The camera pans over in time to see Marf pulling the referee away and hauling him up over his head with ease. He brings him down viciously, shattering his spine across his knee, incapacitating him instantly. Marf steps up to the group of four morons and grimaces.

Marf: You have all made a grave mistake here...

Lycana kicks out, trying to get the bike off her, but it doesn't budge. She contents herself with watching from her prone position, a feral smile showing she knows exactly what is about to go down.

Marf steps forward to the terrified looking lads in front of him. He grabs Freddy by the throat and sends him flying across the hallway. Johnny and Dave scramble to their feet and run at Marf but he tosses Dave face first into the wall, his nose bursting with blood upon impact. Johnny tees off on Marf with several stiff punches that are no sold. Marf cocks his head and then grabs Johnny and kneeing him so hard in the balls that his testicles go up inside, likely never to be seen again. He throws Johnny with ease and he slides down the hall, crumpled up in the fetal position.


Marf pulls the shitty looking motorcycle off of Lycana and she gets back up, holding her towel in place this whole time, a talent she's had to pick up since becoming Xtreme champ you perverted fucks. She gives him a wink and a kiss on the cheek before gesturing to the mess he’s made and popping back into her locker room to get changed. She strolls back out, holding her hairbrush, to some blood curdling screams, wearing her street clothes. She looks around and spots Marf on the ground with Blankenship screaming in horror. Marf appears to be attempting to remove his head from his body. Lycana brushes her hair while watching with glee. Marf slams Blankenship’s head off the concrete, knocking him out cold.

Marf: Next time, show some fucking respect... Oh and don’t...get...eliminated!

Lycana skips over, making sure to spit on each downed man child on her way to her partner. She rubs a hand across Marf’s massive back and shoulders while admiring his handiwork. She’s ecstatic to see him healthy and clearly ready for destruction come War Games. They begin to walk off together while Lycana looks back one last time at the four, almost corpses.

Lycana: Oh and by the way dearies, stay the FUCK out of my hallway...

She flicks her gaze to Marf with a grin.

Lycana: WOO!

Marf: WOO!

Lycana: WOO!

Marf: WOO!

Lycana: WOO!

Marf: WOO!

With a smirk and two middle fingers, The Dissentients take their leave.






[Image: 4086c1e276501693b8a7b9fdfa8189402a2e8ba7.gif]

lycana2 (1)
Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 4 users Like Lycana's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (07-06-2021), JimCaedus (07-06-2021), Marf (07-06-2021), Thunder Knuckles™ (07-06-2021)
[-] Oh shit! Hater alert! The following 1 user Hates Lycana's post!
Billy B. Blankenship (07-06-2021)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)