As she hit the water hard with bullets popping into the lake all around her, her first thoughts filled her head. Not "damn this water is cold or "They are fucking shooting at me." it was....

I wonder what the Russian judge would have scored that dive. I honestly think there was too much splash

The shooting had died down so she popped up slightly for a breath. She saw a couple of the guards and cops frantically pointing here and there. Someone was yelling through a bull horn. Fuck all if she was staying around to listen to that. More bullets landed in the water around her convincing her it was time to go back underwater. Taking an overly dramatic big breath she slid back under the waves heading toward the middle of the lake. The lake was huge and the middle was far away, we are just pointing you in a general direction okay? Jeez....

After a bit, the shooting died down and Ariel hazarded a look around. She was in open water. None of the guards or police had come after her yet. Her wet uni was getting heavy, it was painfully obvious that this material was not made for swimming. Looking around she saw a small pontoon boat with a fisherman casting out looking for whatever kept bumping her legs, the slimy mother froggers.

She swam up to the rear of the boat, away from the fishing old guy, and snuck around the wheelhouse to stand right behind the fisherman.

BOO!! How are ya?? I'm gonna need a ride bud."

The older-looking gentleman stammered and then got a determined look on his face, kicking her hard, making her stumble back. Then he took off for the wheelhouse...

Jeez Mister, now look what you made me do! I hate when they run...Speaking of why do the criminals in those cop shows always run down alleys and climb fences and shit...The cops are always gonna get em! Oh shit! That old guy will call the cops...

In reality, only a few seconds had gone by and she threw a life preserver at him hitting him in the back of the head making him stumble. She reached out grabbing him and slammed him against the wall. Looking him up and down she had an idea. She took off his jacket, stocking cap, and shirt leaving him in just his baggy pants. She fashioned a crude noose, put it around his neck, and pushed him overboard. Before he hit the water she heard the snap of his neck and then SPLASH!!!

Before she took off for the far shore she stripped off her top and threw the soaking wet thing in the lake. She pulled on the old man's shirt and jacket making the cap ride low on her forehead. Tucking her wild hair up under the stocking cap as best she could she found a pair of sunglasses on her face smiling she looked in t4he mirror in the main cabin and did a girly twirl.

Oof! Girl we look rough but what are ya gonna do. Sidenote how in the hell did the Avengers hide themselves in just sunglasses and hats. I would look at em and go Hi Cap what's up?? I've always wondered that.

She looked around the controls. For some reason, she expected one of those wooden wheels on old pirate ships where she could have a parrot and sing while shen drove back to port. Instead, there was a mas of levers and buttons. Frowning she pouted. Looking around for a manual or something, she didn't find a thing. All of a sudden, the radio crackled to life with someone talking over the band. Rel jumped and ripped the little cb radio out of its mooring stomping on it like a bug. After taking a deep breath she started pressing buttons and moving levers. One she played with fired up the engine and blew a horn. Jumping again, she bit her lip, concentrating. There was a wheel!!!

She swung it in slow circles and the boat moved as she turned it. Another lever made the boat engine rev higher and the boat moved forward at a decent pace. She started to whistle "Blow the Man Down" pressing more buttons and giggling every time something made the boat do a new thing. She looked out the windshield and seeing the docks in the distance aimed the boat that way...

Aye Aye Captain!! Swab the poop deck jib the mainsail!! Why in the heck do they call it the poop deck, did people shit on it back in the old days? You would think they would have a bathroom or crapped in the ocean and stuff. Whatever, I have to get to the dock so I can get the hell out of this place.[/i][/color]

Gunning the boat her wake made some boats and tubers flop out of the way or flip the people out of them. Giggling, she pushed harder and the boat nose started rising out of the water. Her eyes got wide and she pulled back. OOPSIE!! That was a little too fast. She tried to crouch down so no one would see herr, giggling trying to see what was in front of her but still hiding.

Eventually, she pulled into a dock space, grinding the side of the boat against the metal floating landing pad. It made a horrible screeching sound drawing the attention of everyone nearby. "Fuck!" she said under her breath looking around pulling the hat down she yelled out the window....

Sorry folks new driver here!! Is it like the driving test do I get to hit a dock and just get points taken off? Nevermind. Garcon tie up my ride would ya?

Jumping down from the side of the boat she tossed the ropes to some random dude and went skipping off to the mini-mart up the hill from her boat. Walking in the door a little bell jangled. She jumped looking around quickly. Nodding to a few people passing by she would say things in a deep gruff voice trying to hide who she was, but then she would giggle and cover her mouth looking around. she grabbed a couple bags of chips, a few protein bars, and a big jug of Hawaiin Punch. Fishing around in the big flannel coat she found the guy's wallet !! Score!! It had a few bills in it and some credit cards along with his ID. She passed a corkboard with a picture of her on it sticking her tongue out making a goofy face, it was the only one the warden dude had she guessed. The poster said Wanted escaped patient and a number to call. She drew a big bushy mustache on her face with a marker she found in her coat because honestly who doesn't have some kind of writing tool in their big flannel coat? Am I right?

Deciding she couldn't leave the picture up she tore it down, balled it up, and ate it. Between chews, she looked at people mumbling unintelligibly. Swallowing hard she skipped up to the counter with her purchases. The cashier looked at her a little funny in her oversized coat, wooly hat, and sunglasses. She looked down. Shit! No shoes!! No wonder people had been looking at her funny. No, it had to be that. Nothing to do with the jug of Hawaiin Punch, drawing a mustache on the picture, and eating it. It had to be the bare feet right??

The cashier told her the total and in her gruff manly voice, she said...

Here's forty my good man! Keep the change. God knows you aren't getting tips from these assholes, am I right?

Rel looks around giggling, burying her head deep in the fannel jacket. She grabs up her bags and scurries out the door. Sitting down on the sidewalk outside the mini-mart she munches on a protein bar and swigging on the big jug of juice, smacking her lips and giggling.

I have to get away from here...What to do what to do...

She pulls the wool cap over her head and screams. Fixing the hat she looks around waving. She watches these slutty looking ladies stepping up to the windows of semis and the guy lets them inside. A light bulb goes off and she gathers up her bags and Hawaiian Punch. She walks over to a semi and jumps up on it's running board giggling. In her deep fake voice she says to the driver....

Hey there good buddy, ten four and all that stuff. Look I need a ride outta here can ya hook me up?

The trucker looks Rel up and down in the comically oversized flannel coat and chuckles saying no around some very colorful language,

But But those girls always get to ride and I'm...I'm broke and I need to go away from here!

She starts to sniffle and cry...The trucker looks at her shaking his head and opens the door. She climbs in making overly exaggerated grunting noises and plops down grabbing the jug of Hawaiian Punch....

Want some juice Mister??

Her wolf howl and giggle echoed in the parking lot as the truck pulls out of the lot.....



Hey hey Thad!! Nice to finally meet ya!! I'm sure you've heard of me, but in case ya haven't I'm Ariel Dixon Rel to my friends and my new box of stuffies!! The Irrelevant! It seems a couple of fat guys named BOB don't like me too well but everyone else seems pretty chill. Ya know what I'm sayin Bro??

Did you know when I was back at the asylum they made us watch these sex-ed videos and one of the guys in it was named Thad!! Just like you! That's so awesome. You might not think so but it is to me but the doc told me I was easily amused. I'm still trying to figure that one out, but I know it's not a sex thing. They made us watch those videos so we wouldn't be all rapey n stuff.

Anywhose, the guy who came down to the basement where me and the Irrelevant were hanging out said you were like the big time! Then I told him to tell you I want your shiny thing. He must have told you because the dude in a suit came down and told me I have a match thing with you for shiny thingie!! I was soo happy I gave him a big hug and then realized that probably wasn't cool.

He said I have to try really hard because you put butts in the seats. He said it all deep though and he had a cigar and he smelled like a grandpa. I'm just crazy excited though because if I beat you I get that shiny thing. I don't know if I have space in my new house to hang it up, but I sure will.

What's that?? They carry them around?? Why would you do that those things look heavy!!

Well I will carry it around and show it to everyone!!!

That camera dude is telling me to wave bye cuz he has to go....So bye Thad see you next week!!!