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Mother Fucking Mongolia
Author Message
Chris Page Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


#1
06-09-2021, 05:28 PM

Our scene opens at a private airstrip in mother fucking Mongolia as a medium 25 seat private plane has touched down and is pulling to a smooth stop. Several seconds pass before the side door to the plane opens and a set of retractable stairs extended down from the plane to the runway.


Emerging from the plane is Chris Page who is followed by Miss Fury, Bobby Bourbon, Ol Thunder Knuckles, Andre Dixon, Atara Themis, and Big Money Oswald. BOB has landed in Mongolia in full force for what is sure to be an explosive Retro Anarchy show that is being hosted by none other than Centurion and Vinnie Lane’s second favorite pet project in Ruby.


There is a lot of excitement in the air as the XWF invades this shithole known as Mongolia; mostly centered around the marquee attraction of the evening that is for the XWF Xtreme Championship. The eyes of the locker room are firmly planted on this one-chance encounter to see if the reigning and defending Champion can prove to the world that she is not a one-trick fucking pony.


Fat chance.


Chris and his fellow BOB members reach the asphalt and are all standing around waiting for their ride that is currently absent. It does not take Ol Thunder Knuckles long to spout out a smart fucking remark.



Thunder Knuckles: So where the fuck is our ride?


All eyes shift towards Chris Page as the in-flight staff begins unloading all the bags of their passengers.





Chris points in the direction of the car horn. All eyes turn where coming up the rampway is a big PART BUS!


The attention of all the members of BOB that have made the trip shift their eyes up the runway where the single biggest piece of shit party bus comes you have ever seen heading in their direction.


Thunder Knuckles: What in God’s name is this piece of shit?”


Thunder Knuckles turns towards Chris who simply shrugs his shoulders before spouting out.


” Talk to Ozzy, travel budget was shot with the plane expense.”


We love busting Ozzy’s chops, but the mother fucker has brought his shit the last month or so and is proving his worth with each and every outing he has had which has even garnered him Superstar of the Month. The reality is it is not Ozzy’s fault we got a shitty bus. It is Centurion’s for picking this third-world country to do a fucking wrestling show.


Upon hearing Chris we see Ozzy shift the gaze of his massive frameshift over towards Chris.


” I am just busting your balls.”


The bus pulls up to the BOBies. The audible groans and deep sighs can be heard as the doors slowly open to reveal their party bus driver.


[Image: tenor.gif?itemid=3567478]


The driver gets off the bus and walks up to the group. Chris steps forward where he takes the communication lead.


Driver: Is this the BOB group I was sent to pick up?”


” Uh, yeah… Chris Page.”


Chris extends his hand out which is met with a handshake.


Driver: I’m Bob too!”


Thunder Knuckles starts to walk over towards the bus taking note of the various rust patches scattered all over the side of this busted down party bus.


Thunder Knuckles: Are you sure this death trap waiting to happen is going to hold itself together, chief?”


Bob The Driver: Of course it is! Hop on!”


Thunder Knuckles reluctantly steps through the double doors on the bus. He is followed by Bobby Bourbon. As soon as he takes a step onto the bus he pokes his head back out.


Bobby Bourbon: It smells like a mixture of sweat and Funyuns.”


Bob The Driver responds as he carries two of the twenty bags over towards the bus.


Bob The Driver: I had a snack on the way here.


Andre steps on the bus followed by Atara and then Oswald which leaves Miss Fury and CCP standing and watching this Chris Farley-looking mother fucker load the bottom half of the bus.


MISS FURY: How do you think this is going to go?


” It is not.”


Chris wraps his right arm around the shoulder of Miss Fury who wraps her left arm around his waist as they take the casual walk over to the party bus.


Jessica: Then avoid the conversation if you know it is not going to end well? Just does not make a lot of sense to discuss it.


The hot topic of conversation between Jessica and myself over the last couple of days had revolved around how she thought I was so hard-pressed to bring Lycana into BOB after the history that rests between us… until I could not keep it up with a straight face anymore, and told her the truth.


” Everyone appreciates a good joke, right? I mean just look at the state of the XWF right now, and all these mother fuckers that are trying to band together, why all these so-called legends have suddenly popped back into the equation… and then I want you to remember back to the days of Miss Direction and how nobody would look your way; just as we planned; and now the person everyone thought was a joke has turned the tables. You, Jess.”


Miss Fury is a true pioneer when it comes to the execution of our Origins. She went out and did all the leg work by putting all the pieces in place for us to all collectively blow the fucking roof off this company; so thank you. Miss Fury landed Big Money Oswald who has some pretty deep pockets, and who showed the world that he can elevate his game at any point in time he chooses to. What a lot of you fail to realize when it comes to us BOBies is that we do not beat each other down… we lift each other up. That is what a partnership is with any group of talent that assemble. Our egos take a backseat to what is the best for everyone not just one of us. People try to drag Big Oz down, and yes we like to have fun joshing the big man but he bleeds mother fucking BOB.


The Driver continues to load up some more luggage as you can hear the random conversations coming from inside the bus. Clearly, the accommodations are not up to standard.


” All of these mother fuckers that are coming out of the woodwork and that are putting themselves together; even those who think we do not know, they are all putting themselves together because of something that we built, but something that you are the most important part of. If that does not serve as the biggest fuck you to the rest of the world I do not know what will.”


She is also responsible for bringing in Atara with the added assistance of Thunder Knuckles. Atara; a greek goddamn goddess, who is now a double champion mind you into our family. With her time here she sees how life is when you are not controlled by anyone but yourself. BOB has opened its arms to this Goddess and is encouraging her to continue to flourish as opposed to chastising her.


Chris looks down as he lightly squeezes her. Their eyes make contact as he continues.


” So let me ask you in a place famous for beef… how does it feel to be on top of the world?”


Jessica: Okay, so what did you do?


Chris starts to laugh as he draws his grasp from her shoulders and back towards the bus.


” Since when have I done something wrong by paying you a compliment.”


Jessica: Since you were born Chris Page.


Sheer sarcasm exudes from the tip of her tongue as Chris places his hands over his heart while flashing some puppy dog eyes as he responds in tone.


” That hurts.”


Both Chris and Jessica smirk as we see Jessica gaze up and down the bus and her smirk turn towards embarrassment. Thunder Knuckles pops his head out through the doors.


[b]Thunder Knuckles: Yo I just want you to know that this is cruel and unusual punishment. Bobby just bet Dixon that you two do not make it to whatever goddamn shithole we are staying at before smashing. Smart money on no or…



” Fuck off.”


Thunder Knuckles: Seriously though??


Jessica and Chris flip Thunder Knuckles off at the same time. He ducks back into the bus as he is heard in an elevated tone.


Thunder Knuckles: They aren’t!


Jessica turns her attention back towards Chris as she shakes her head.


Jessica: Are we seriously traveling in that?


Chris winks at Jessica as he looks off past her down the runway behind the busted down piece of shit party bus. He throws a head nod which causes Jessica to turn around and see coming their way.


[Image: mercedes-benz-bus.gif]


She spins back around with a huge smile on her face before walking up hugging Chris before stepping up on her tippy toes to kiss him. She pulls away as she states.


Jessica: Thank god, I thought I was going to have to kick you in the nuts.


The real bus pulls up which now catches the attention of Bob The Driver who has nearly loaded up half of the luggage. He leans in towards Chris who does not even give him the time of day before starting.


” Unload the bags.”


Chris walks away as we hear Bob The Driver mutter.


Bob: Prick.


Chris walks up smacking the side of the bus before hollering out.


” LET’S GO!”


Andre Dixon pops out of the bus first followed by Atara as Chris is heard.


” I cannot believe you guys actually got on that fucker.”


Atara walks over towards Miss Fury who nods back behind Atara. The Greek Goddess turns around seeing the real bus pulling up to a stop. She turns around looking at Chris Page as she says.


Atara Themis: Not funny, Dove.


Andre who is now standing by Page sees the bus while Them No Good Bastards emerge from the bus followed by Oswald.


Andre Dixon: Yo it looks like bloodstains in the motha fucka.”


” You are the one that got on the damn thing.”


Chris pats Andre on the shoulder walking forward towards the luxury bus as he states.


” Bad joke guys….”


He directs attention towards the luxury bus that has now pulled to a stop.


” Our transportation has arrived.”


Thunder Knuckles pats Bobby on the arm as he states.


Thunder Knuckles: They are totally smashing before they get to the hotel. Easy money.


Atara, Them No Good Bastards, Ozzy, and Andre head towards the awaiting luxury bus leaving Chris and Jessica.


” Are you sure they will not find it funny?”


Jessica: You need to learn when enough is enough, but if you want to take it there go right ahead.


Chris watches as Ozzy, Atara, Them No Good Bastards and Andre Dixon all make their way onto the bus. We see two crew members walking towards Chris who points to all the bags. One of them gives him a thumbs up. Chris turns around directing his attention towards Bob The Driver who is still unloading bags.


” And yes I am.”


Bob stops lifting luggage as he directs his head towards Chris who flips him the middle finger. Page wraps his arm back around Jessica’s shoulders as they start to walk towards the luxury bus.[i]


” So… where do you stand on this little wager they have going on?


[i]Jessica slaps Chris on the chest just as they reach the bus. Chris smirks as he steps to the side letting Jessica step up on the bottom step as he smacks her on the ass. She does not take kindly as she gets on the bus.



” This is going to be a funny fucking trip.”


Chris lets out a deep breath before stepping onto the bus where sitting towards the back are the Bastards, midways Atara on one side and Andre on the other with Ozzy taking a seat towards the front with a little extra legroom, because he is a big mother fucker. Everyone is talking amongst themselves before Chris calls for attention.


” Hey guys… “


The talking amongst each other comes to a close as Chris has the attention of the bus.


” Guys and gals we are at the forefront of something special. Tomorrow night Retro Anarchy is going to take the air and we are the meat of this show. Many are looking at tomorrow night as the night in which we crumble; tomorrow night is the night we continue our dominance.”


Chris turns full attention towards Atara.


” Our Goddess, miss two belts Atara Themis will continue her path by steamrolling that cunt Cotton and starting our night of dominance over all of the competition.


Chris glances towards Ozzy as he points over at the big man.


” Our own Superstar of the Month over here…”


Chris immediately stops his sentence and claps his hands which the rest of BOB joins in as they pay a little respect to the Billion Doller Champion. The applause dies down as Chris continues.


” Ozzy gets to choke a big Dick on national television! He gets to pound Dick into submission! He gets to beat Dick limp! He gets to show everyone that he is deserving of everything he has attained.”


Chris shifts his gaze back towards Them No Good Bastards.


” We do not even need to talk about just how important Bobby and Betsy are. This is the first time that we have the opportunity to exact just a little bit of a whole lot of revenge. This is going to be one of our finer moments when everything plays out. The message is not going to be misinterpreted, it will be loud, clear, and precise.”


There is a pause from Chris.


” Which brings me to cap the evening off by staking claim to the Xtreme Championship; and while that is all a formality, what I wanted to talk to you all about is something that I feel needs to be discussed. Fury and I have been going back and forth on this, and I feel it is worth discussing.


Chris takes a breath before he continues.


” Since we bring everything to a discussion, and considering we could expand our ranks with this. I am wanting to know the general consensus of recruiting Lycana into BOB?”


Not so much had the question escaped Chris’s lips did the bus break out into thunderous laughter which brings a smirk to Chris's face. He turns towards Miss Fury where he leans down as she is seated and already rolling her eyes as he whispers.


” I told you they’d like that joke.”


Suddenly Thunder Knuckles hollers out from the back of the bus.


Thunder Knuckles: Now that’s a funny fucking joke!


Chris stands up as he winks at Miss Fury as the scene fades to black.







Words from the Stoned One:




The eve of destruction is firmly upon us for you, Lycana, and you already feel those walls starting to cave in around you from all sides. Before I get into what will be the final time I speak on you, do you see how people that usually talk shit behind your back are suddenly backing you on this quest to be the first to slice me to the core? Is it not the funniest thing to see the “fast friends”? I thought you would find as much humor in it as I have; how they desperately cling on to hope that you might somehow pull off the upset of a lifetime; yet they will go right back to that “locker room” chat with the daggers all over again. Yes, I am well aware you do not give two fucks about the views or opinions of others; ironic. I guess the first place I should start is letting you know the purpose of this last piece of business before I completely obliterate you inside those ropes on Retro-Anarchy, all the while making you nothing more than what you have always been; a laughing stock. The purpose of this revolves around the word “power” and just what true power is versus what it is not.


The notion that you have not grasped exactly where I lead you to do by now serves as what I am going to call “teaching a lesson the hard way”. Your biggest fault is your emotions; typical bitch, right? You allow your emotions to dictate your pace without putting much thought into what you have to say; that has never been more evident than calling ME long-winded when YOU have occupied more TV Time during these little exchanges overall, but hey that shit sounded good in your head, didn’t it? Hello pot meet kettle, cunt. That little jab is nothing in the grand scheme little girl because I assure you that you are going to look a hell of a lot dumber by the time I am through with you. Not only did you step into every goddamn trap you gave me more than I could ever dream of; however, what I fail to understand seeing as you are one of those “I’ll tell you what you are going to do” peeps on the roster then care to explain to me why you did the EXACT same thing everyone else has done when to comes to trying to sling the proverbial smack talk in my general direction? Not only do you not have the power you clearly have a difficult time comprehending the English language if you think that I was hammering you on HOW you won your title. What I was hammering you on were the EXCUSES you made for MARF’s involvement in a match that carried NO DISQUALIFICATIONS!


[Image: tenor.gif?itemid=5332045]


Do you see the fuckin g difference? You wasted air time on your boy’s involvement was just that! WASTED TIME! And since you are the first to be ever so foolish enough to step into the Robert Main trap I want you to go back and look at the rules for that particular match and tell me where I broke them? Was it heavily skewed in my favor? Goddamn right it was, and it does not take a mother fucking rocket scientist to figure it out! I have not thrown a parade over defeating Robert, I have pointed it out much as you did with Alias; except I was not stupid enough to make a fucking excuse for it!


[Image: 200.gif]


I do not expect you to fully understand the shit you have stepped in, so allow me to continue on and further establish where the power within our situation rests because your rebuttals are weak as fuck. Did you REALLY think that I wanted you in BOB? Of course, you did because you spent half a promo trying to cover it! You were never being primed for recruitment honey, you were lead down a dead-end street that saw you dead on goddamn arrival. The one thing you can never do with me is waste your fucking time, and how easily I manipulated you into killing more of your time and energy focusing on the right hand you never saw what was happening in the left hand… AH! See what I did there? The reality of your situation is you have been suckered every step of the way on your way to losing the very championship you scorched your way into taking. Hey, everyone gets lucky every now and then… even you. Power is a wonderful thing; having the power to alter your strategy was all I needed and I will be damned if you did not give it to me in spades.


You have already had your face stomped in by BOB, and the fuckery shall continue for you.


Smarts is not your best quality, and neither is cutting a promo as we can all see. My only intention coming into this was to see if you lived up to the hype; goddamn if you have not failed with flying goddamn colors. The Bastards were right when they crucified you to the wall… twice. You want us all to believe that you are ready for this position, this spotlight that has been cast down upon you, and yet you shit the bed worse than a Marf TV Title run. Pretty sad when you sit back and think about what this could have been. You have wasted your time chasing rabbits instead of locking in on what truly should matter to you. Me. We have many differences; the main one, other than the fact I have a dick revolves around the talent I possess is being able to get inside one’s mind to have their cast attention exactly where I want it when I want it. This comes with experience with time. I bet it felt so good to think you had me by the balls only to find yourself with your head up your own goddamn ass.


[Image: X9RycC3.gif]


Where is the Lycana that wants to be a star? Where is this Lycana that is supposed to be so fucking smart but could not see the game of chess being played right in front of her fucking face? You punched yourself out in Round One sweetheart and played a horrible game in the process. You have proven that the last thing you need to be is a Champion of any capacity, and the fact that you are holding on to the Xtreme Championship is the only fucking thing that remotely makes you a blip on anybody’s radar. So what do you think is going to happen when I remove that Championship from around your waist and I make you one of the shortest reigning Champions in the XWF’s history? You think people poke fun at you now? Just you wait until you wake up on Friday morning and hear Robert Main and Jim Caedus jump all over that train. You are way too stupid for your own good. You get one halfway decent win and willingly step up to murders row. Not the brightest thing to do, and now is the time I go ahead and slit that throat of yours leaving you for dead while enjoying every minute of it. It is a good thing you keep Marf around, at least there is someone else that equation that is the weaker link. It is cute to you two have stuck this thing out regardless of how many bitch slaps you take in the process.


[Image: 200.gif]


You are so predictable in nature that you have made this easier for me to knock you around cementing that the Main Event is just not where you belong, and being in the ring with the hottest piece of talent is too much for your bear. Maybe you should hang those boots up and run back into the woods with all the other cosplaying fools for that level of competition seems better suited for you rather than standing at the forefront with a goddamn pioneer of this profession. When I see just how much time you wasted, how simple you have made this for me it is enough to understand why it took you five months to win a fucking match. Ash Quinn did something right for a change.


[Image: tenor.gif]


Do not fool yourself into thinking that winning three matches while constantly throwing the excuse book at your failures makes you some sort of threat to anything when it comes to Chris Page. You make entirely too many mistakes to be looked at anything other than a step above Peter Gilmour, barely. When I sit back and listen to you try to talk shit I picture Demos opening his mouth and inserting his foot not nearly as bad as you have. You have not crafted the art nearly as well as you think you have much like you have not mastered the game of deception or misdirection. I had the highest of hopes that I could maybe, just maybe I could spark some sort of fire instead of all I got as a motherfucking dud.


[Image: giphy.gif]


I wish I could say I was surprised because I knew what I was getting into, and not even Chris Page is a miracle worker. What I will do is save this federation from the embarrassment of having a scrub carrying around the second-highest ranked title in this organization for we cannot afford to have a flake representing this company in any fashion. Titles are better suited for people like me, and people like BOB. We are setting the wrestling world on fire and we will continue to do so each and every time we step foot on a goddamn program; that is power.


Power is a beautiful thing to wield against the unsuspecting and ill-informed such as yourself. I do not have to occupy as much television time throwing out these promotional packages while being “long-winded”, I do not have to match it under any circumstance because with you less is more. You accomplished that by wasting your time and energy questioning my motives for wanting you in BOB when that was the bait that you took the hook, line, and sinker did. I am not the one that wasted more time comparing victories at Leap of Faith when I simply told you there was no need for excuses that YOU made for Marf’s involvement into why you are holding that title in the first place, you did. I am not the one that is trying to convince God and the world that they belong in this kind of spotlight, you are, and I am the guy that leads you thereby simply stating a few sentences here and a few sentences there. That is power, and that is something that you will never have.


[Image: 200.gif]


Funny thing about luck.


It always runs out.


This is the position that you find yourself in now. You are poised to take the grandest stage of your career against the most high-profile opponent you have ever had. If you could not get past RL Edgar when a title was on the line what in the blue hell makes you think that you are going to come close to touching me? I under-estimated that guy and still put his ass down while you overestimated and continued to fall short. Yes, before you throw your win at Tag Turmoil as a counter take note I said: “When a title is on the line”. It is called word placement, figured I would point that out this time so you did not Marf yourself again.


[Image: 2874647102_1.gif]


You are headed into the bottom of the ninth, two outs, no runners on base while trailing by six runs with the sense of victory already slipped through that nervous, sweaty hands. All eyes are locked on you wondering what the fuck you are going to do to climb out of this hole that you have dug for yourself. The simple answer is nothing and likes it. Consider this one of the best educations you could possibly get within this business. I have taught you more in two weeks than your boy Baph ever thought about teaching you for you were nothing more than a pawn in his game much like you have become in mine. Nothing is saving you from the shit storm that is headed your way. We said we would not stop until we take everything from you; that was a literal statement. Do I need the Xtreme Title? Not really, but you sure as shit do because without it you are just another roster member that’s sole purpose is to make the stars look good. We call that enhancement talent.


[Image: bb.gif]


They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery Miss Lycana, and while you can dream until your heart’s content that you are in my league little girl, but at some point, you have to wake up and enter the real world, you know… where everyone else lives… and when you do wake up from that fantasy world where you amount to anything other than a pile of eleven-day old shit in the grass after I have taken my dog out, you are going to come to the firm realization that power has never been your strong suit, and why it has always been mine. Oh, I firmly expect for you to have to resort to sifting through this piece of business to try and find a flaw to deflect just how you look after cramming your foot so far down your throat you are shitting your own goddamn shoelaces.


We are not going to be content until we turn you into the modern-day Ash fucking Quinn.


Face it, you are at your peak,,, and now it is all downhill from here.


You are going to find out exactly why I have been the focal point of this organization for the better part of two years in some form or fashion. You are going to find out why I have held some sort of gold for over half of that time frame, and even multiple belts at a time. There is a reason why I rise to the top and it does have a goddamn thing to do with the company I keep and everything to do with the asses that I kick. Put into perspective like this; you needed Marf to topple Alias to claim your only title but did you see ANYONE aid me in smacking around Thad while making him my bitch? Nope, you did not. So please, I beg of you to continue to try and tell me about myself or what I am capable of.


[Image: tenor.gif?itemid=14381852]


Continue to bore the masses while firing goddamn blanks while I will shift into coast mode knowing good and goddamn well how this one will play out considering you cannot come up with your own mother fucking thoughts without playing off of yours truly, and here you are allegedly a champion but yet you cannot dictate the pace? Say whatever you wish about me but the one thing nobody can discount is the fact that the last thing I will do is wait around for you or anyone else to open their mouths. That is power, that is confidence and that is what it takes to be a goddamn champion as opposed to a placeholder. News flash, a placeholder is exactly what you are, and what you have always been. This is not rocket science; you have but two choices. Lay down or get smacked down… I am cool with whichever but prefer to smack you down, personally. For all of you that saw Lycana as some sort of saving grace allow me to apologize to you on her behalf. She always knew she was a fuck up, she just did not know how much of a fuck up she was until she crossed my path.


[Image: InkVCo.gif]


If you do not remember anything you remember this, losing to Chris Page does not mean that you suck… it just means you are just like everybody else. There is no shame in getting taken to school by a veteran of this sport like I am. You just are not Main Event caliber competition; but maybe one day you will plug away long enough like the little engine that could spout out “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”… the reality is you cannot now nor will you ever be able to climb this mountain, you will never see the peaks of success that I continue to see just North of fifty years old. I am that silver bullet that is in the chamber pointed directly at your chest, and come Thursday night in front of over thirty thousand Mongolians and millions of fans watching around the world will watch as that trigger gets pulled and I come barreling towards you full steam ahead before going straight through your goddamn heart.


You think I am coming to Retro Anarchy to fuck around with you?


You think I am coming halfway around the goddamn world to Mongolia of all places to fail?


Your blood is going to soak the dirt of those unpaved streets, and above all else, you are going to get fucked harder than Alias is whenever I decide to take back what belongs to me. This is the part where you pick your fucking jaw up off the floor and call me daddy.


[Image: eVR.gif]


No worries though… you tried.


Here is your participation award…


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Go ahead sweetheart you take as much time as you need to figure your way out of this one for you have been knocked the fuck out by one of the best. Consider yourself lucky that you got this opportunity. This is the part where the narrative twists because once I beat Lycana, once I take the Xtreme Title I will move forward to Centurion on Savage… and I will mop the fucking floor with him… what once was “you are in Robert Main’s shadow” or “you are nothing without Robert” will turn into “you handpick your opponents”. Watch what I tell you because we all saw how quick that Robert shit died the moment I won my Universal Title; ya know, a title that you will never scratch the goddamn surface of.


What can you do when they make it oh so easy?


What can you do when they challenge just who the fuck I am other than kicking the shit out of them with malice and intent… but above all else, with power.


Power is a beautiful thing Lycana, it is just a shame that you will never have it.



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- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former
[Image: OW3ycxe.png]
[Image: fMJwa5h.png]
With
Robert "The Omega" Main
[Image: OZdvB4F.png]
XWF World Heavyweight Champion
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[-] The following 9 users Like Chris Page's post:
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