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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Anarchy Boards » Anarchy RP Board
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Spanking Monkey 11.5
Author Message
Corey Smith Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
06-05-2021, 12:11 PM

So please review with me again why it took so long for you to realize you now had a penis?

On that note, welcome to Coreytopia’s garage. It’s the size of an average middle class family’s ranch home. If that middle class family’s ranch home was also nestled inside a Walmart (but not a SUPER Walmart, we’re not that ostentatious). There’s a good 20 odd cars in there, and it’s presently playing host to the most awkward conversation of Corey Smith’s young life.

Michael Graves (sort of) is seated on a rolling office chair. Corey is standing and pacing. Graves looks plaintive. I...I don’t know! I guess I was out of it. In a daze! Plus Michael’s penis isn’t that big, it’s not like I was swinging a deli cut salami down there.

It’s still a dick! Where there wasn’t one before!

Stop blaming the victim!

Okay….okay...Corey massages the bridge of his nose. There has to be a way to fix this.

Can I please go inside?

Not yet. Corey scowls. Graves is on like 13 different countries’ sex offender lists. He’s on Thailand’s list for Chrissakes. You know how fucked up you have to be to get on a sex offender list in Thailand?

But I’m NOT Michael Graves!

No, but you look like him, and I’m not subjecting our friends to that kind of panic.

They probably don’t even know who Michael Graves is. Graves/Dolly sinks back in the office chair, causing it to roll back a bit. Come on, Corey.

Whoa! Is that Michael Graves?! A voice cuts in. Corey wheels about to see a teenage boy standing by the entrance to the garage.

OH F-F-S! Why are you in the garage Ted?!

Yeah Ted!

Ted shrugs. I wanted to take some selfies in the Porsche. Impress my girl.

Well now is not a good time, Ted! Corey retorts. And then, as an afterthought. And tell no one about this! Vamoose!

Ted shrinks back and exits the garage. Corey shakes his head. Fuck, he’s gonna tell everybody.

Yeah. Graves/Dolly allowed with a resigned sigh. Fuckin’ Ted. Then, pensively, Am I stuck like this?

No. There has to be some way to reverse this. Corey suddenly smirks. This is like Freaky Friday with an extra helping of “freak”.

Yeah, speaking of “helping”, you AREN’T. But then, Graves/Dolly darts up out of her seat. Oh my God! I just thought of someone who might be able to help! We need to go see Cadryn Tiberius!

Corey scratches the back of his neck. I don’t follow.

It’s just a...a hunch! We have to go to Texas!

Sure, why the hell not. But I have to be in Mongolia in a week. Which is a real thing I just said.

Shit! I think I do too. Dolly/Graves grasps Corey by the shoulders. Thank you so much for helping me.

He slinks out of the embrace with a pained look on his face. Yeah, I don’t know where those hands have been…

LATER!


Corey is seen in his bedroom, packing hastily.

Felix Jones, my good man! Sorry but I gotta make this quick! Got something of an emergency. Now originally, I was going to cut this long, involved and utterly HILARIOUS bit bemoaning the fact that we didn’t get a fun gimmick match like some of the other folks on this card. I made a list of suggestions and hell if I’m gonna let them go to waste! So here they are.

1) Fight using wacky waving inflatable tube men as surrogates
2) Supermarket Sweep match (just like the game show)
3) King of the Road match
4) Staring Contest
5) Fight on a roller coaster like in that one episode of Batman: The Animated Series and holy SHIT this was a bad idea!
6) King of the Road match
7) A standard wrestling match except fought under Waffle House rules
8) Best two out of three playing the Pokemon card game
9) King of the Road match

But alas, none of these were to be! So boilerplate trash talk it is! Felix...bro! I’m Mr. 24/7! I just came off winning the most batshit Leap of Faith match of all time, a match that included THREE former Universal Champions (Chris Chaos is a former Universal Champion, God strike me dead if I’m lyin’), a host of other people, and Demos, who is only QUESTIONABLY a “people”. Long story short, my momentum is at sonic boom levels, baby!

You, on the other hand, don’t have any momentum. You are standing still. Which, if my understanding of high school physics holds water, means you are in some seriously deep shit when I come down on you with my “breaking the sound barrier” self. It’s gonna be a tough row to hoe for you, my man. Not gonna lie. But you seem like a decent bloke with an above average fashion sense and a very symmetrical face, so I’m not looking to embarrass you. But, for that not to happen, you gotta...ya know...TRY. And when I say “try”, I mean do more than the spotty modicum of effort you’ve displayed in the XWF thus far. And yeah...yeah...you’re a 2 time Xtreme champion and all but dude I’m pretty sure Taco is a three time champion AT LEAST so that’s not doing as much work as you think it is.

I want you to make me break a sweat, Felix. I want to see your A-game. But I have a sneaking suspicion I’m getting C+ game, and that’s grading on a curve. You can prove me wrong. But honestly, I doubt you care enough to do so.

Centy? Ruby? It’s not too late for you to give me the King of the Road match of my dreams. I’ll never say a mean thing about Cent ever again. Probably. Maybe.



[Image: CoreySig6A.png?width=270&height=406]
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(Gravy_Xtreme_5000) (06-05-2021), Doctor Louis D'Ville (06-05-2021), Marf (06-05-2021), Michael McBride (06-09-2021), Thaddeus Duke (06-07-2021), Theo Pryce (06-10-2021), Thunder Knuckles™ (06-05-2021)




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