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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Wild Card Weekend (June 29th) PPV RP Archive
An Heir to no Throne/The Gilmour Guillotine (RP 5)
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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick Offline
Waves don't die.



XWF FanBase:
Women and gay men

(physically attractive male on every level; can seduce you; that disarming smile; those bedroom eyes)


#1
06-27-2013, 07:02 AM

Act 6: Natural Underdog = Born Loser

So, the time has finally come.

The scene opens up to Luca sitting in a chair, back at his apartment. You can hear Heironeous' promo playing in the background, and Luca intently staring at the source of the sound, a bowl of popcorn in his lap. After it finishes playing, Luca looks back at the camera and suddenly stands up, sending the remaining popcorn flying across the room.

"Did I ever tell you all how I'm the underdog? That's I'm the one who isn't the favorite to win, even though that's the exact same thing as an underdog, I just have nothing else to say so I'm going to repeat it with slightly different wording in an attempt to sound like I have an actual train of thought.

I respect all of my opponents because they're all better than me (except 'The King of MOOOOORBID Obesity' Peter Gilmour) and I look forward to the challenge that they will give me. One opponent in particular, that Luca boy, I feel as though he could out think anyone in this match, so I'm going to keep my eye on him. I don't know much about some of my opponents, something I really shouldn't say aloud, but they're all nice people, right?

RIGHT?!"


Luca smiles, his eyes fixated on the camera's lens. He sits back down in the chair, laughing at the entirety of Heironeous' promo.

"Hey Heir, here's something new. I can guarantee that you've never heard this one before! The actual definition of an underdog! Hold on, let me get my pocket dictionary."

Luca reaches into his pocket and pulls a pocket dictionary. He flips through the pages until he makes it to the page that contained the definition, lost in the sea of other words.

"Got it! The actual definition of underdog is a person in adversity or in a position of inferiority. You see, you are an underdog. However, not in the supremely fucked up definition you gave the word. You're the underdog because you're going to get the shit kicked out of you, not because you're going to pull some miraculous upset.

That's right, I'm a fucking fortune teller. Yours? Being the second man eliminated from this match. I predict you'll be so happy that you survived the first elimination that you'll celebrate like the fuckwit you are, and when you do I'll be waiting for the right time to knock you out of the match and rob you of your upset.

Why?

Because I can. Is there any other reasoning to give than that? Bonus question, do I even have to explain myself to anyone, let alone this third rate hack who barely put away Peter Gilmour even with outside interference? The guy who calls himself a word he doesn't even understand.

Go back to Norway, cunt.

However, you did beat Gilly, albeit barely, wait a minute. Do you hear that?"


Act 7: Tears of the Gilmour

"It sounds like it's coming straight from Peter Gilmour's closet! It sounds like a whining, crying fucking toddler is calling out for attention! Well, he got all the attention he didn't want from me right now. I can just hear him screaming 'I WAS SCREWED' at the top of his lungs because he could just tell I was talking about he got embarrassed by Heironeous.

And by Chris Macbeth before that.

Also, I'm pretty sure he got upset by Owen Crooks too.

All in all, he should be used to it by now. So Gilly, I offer you one piece of advice. Stop being such a little bitch and own up to your failures. For example, allow me to demonstrate.

I lost to Mr. Satellite! TWICE!

Now go on and say it, Gilmour. Tell the world that you lost to Heironeous simply because he's better than you. Not because you got screwed, not because it was a fluke. Despite all the harshness I directly to him, he's much more impressive than you ever have been. No amount of X-Treme title reigns can change that. While we're on the subject, why are you bringing up your title reigns anyway? It isn't like I give a fuck.

If I didn't give a fuck about Solider's US Title reign, why would I care about any of your Crimson Dong Title reigns? But while we're on the subject of title reigns...

I'm a two time North Korean champion.

For a few moments sure, but moments more than your reigns with a top solo title. Which is why you're carried to success by infinitely more talented individuals. When you're the weakest link on a team that has Unknown Soldier, you're a fucking embarrassment!

However, onto your tirade against me. Y'know, the one where you cried all over the place, or did you slip in a puddle of tears after you shut off the camera? Irrelevant, onto your little 'trash talk'. More like trash talk. Fuck it, you're way too stupid to gather that I said anything different.

I laughed at the impression of me. It really shows how far under your skin I really got. Please, keep playing it off as you not giving a fuck what I said and hide your soiled diapers, you fucking baby. Allow me to go off on a tangent real quick, I have to say this.

When everyone else says that they don't give a fuck, it's a gimmick. No one believes it. When I say it, it's the truth. Moving on.

You go on to criticize my choice in weaponry? Interesting tactic, it might've worked if you were going after Heironeous or Eli James. Against anyone else however, you sound about as intelligent as everyone already assumes you to be. . By the by, your bat sounds like a girl's doll. Is there something you're trying to tell us?

Your scythe would look badass is Ruby Red was holding it, with you however, it looks like a fucking toy. Fitting, seeing how your little bat friend was named Barbie. Also, your mission statement? A funny way of saying 'get more donuts' in my approximation. Be more open next time.

Complaining that no one has any new material, after using an Amanda Bynes joke? Where'd you get that one at Gilly? TMZ? This is the best you've got, huh? Stolen jokes form the biggest joke of anything entertainment related. My god how did you get as far as you have, and not put in a mental institution. You have to be crazier than Mark Flynn claims to be to actually use that!

Also, thanks for telling us you have a chode. We all wanted to hear that, and for the sixth time, my mom is dead you necrophiliac. Aren't you supposed to be the normal one of the trio champs? Leave the corpse defiling to Soldier.

Also, 'good conquers evil' then 'I'll introduce you to pure evil'. That makes me good then. And if good conquers evil, then I'll conquer you! Thanks for believing in me Gilmour, it'll be nice to have a deadweight wall covering me! Fucking christ, do you even listen to yourself? I say that a lot, I know, but let's be honest here. Peter Gilmour might be the most moronic man in this company!

Sure Petey, you can be the last man standing when the smoke clears...

...At the hospital, screaming at the TV when I steal another opportunity from four well deserving individuals and well, you.

Keep on with your stupid bullshit about demons and whatnot Gilly, I'll just be here doing things you can't.

Like win big matches on my own, for instance."


The scene fades out to picture of Peter Gilmour and Heironeous from one of their "Epic" matches on Warfare, with some writing on it. Said writing reads:

"And here we see the first two to be eliminated in their natural environment. Wednesday Warfare, land of mediocrity. - Luca Arzegotti"

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