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Dick Powers · (05-05-2021)

~Get Your Ass to the Moon~

Wednesday Night Warfare?

More like Wednesday Night Womb Invasion!

… Nah that’s lame. I bet you’re asking yourself, Dick!? Why are you lowering yourself to a mediocre show, I thought you only graced pay-per-views and afterparties? Well, my nubile little baby boys and girls, it's simple and it began like a month or so ago; I heard you bitches are having a pay-per-view on the freakin’ moon! And that is SO rad! As a major shareholder in XWF I decided it’s my duty to plaster my fine ass over the first wrestling show on the moon! However, I know XWF management like the veins on my meaty cock, they can be lazy assholes when they want to be and I feel it it my balls that at least one of them is going to try and fuck up how sweet this Moon shit will be. So I find myself strolling into XWF HQ wearing my nicest kimono and business crocs. As I pass the secretary to Vinnie Lane’s office I give her a spicy smolder and cause her to pass out as every fluid in her body soaks her panties and creates a safety hazard on the floor; I do a sweet jumping roundhouse and bust open the doors to Lane’s office who I catch mid yoga sesh, his thicc booty downward dogging in my direction I bite my lip as he looks at me through his legs.

“Dick! Hey dude!”

Vinnie does a graceful handstand and flips onto his feet, he’s quite flexible for a sixty-year-old man. I smirk and head over to the liquor cabinet pouring us both a drink fitting for two sex-fueled, testorone filled manly men.

”What up playboy the sequel!?”

I say as I hand him his Lime Margarita. We clink our glasses together as Vinnie guides me to a seat opposite his desk. I sniff the cocaine around the rim of the glass but begin to hack and couch as I realise it’s actually salt, my eyes turn a bright red as tears form and I let out a pained groan. Vinnie looks at me pensively sipping his drink until my fit is over. Spitting onto the floor and catching my breath I lean back in the seat and cross my legs. I let out a raspy voice.

“Smooth.”

Vinnie gives a slight smile and a nod.

“So, how can I help you dude?”

”No dude, how can I help you?” I lean forward in my chair a little “You’re having a show on the fucking moon, dude!? That is THE best idea you have ever had!”

Lane snickers.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit.”

”Psh, yeah because I am!”

“To be totally honest dude, it won’t be on the moon that was just a marketing thing. First fed on the moon and all that, looks good y’know. It’ll probably be in Moon, South Dakota.”

My face drops, it feels like a hooker dropped trou and has a bigger cock than yours.The shame and disappointment I feel is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

“You twink fuck! No! You’re having it on the fucking moon, bro!”

I dig into my pocket as Lane sighs.

“Dude, it’s impossible! Could you even fathom the cost of travel if it was even feasible?”

I toss my checkbook onto Lane’s desk and it slides in front of him.

“Blank Check me playboy the resurrection!”

Lane’s eyes dart between me and the checkbook decorated with tasteful nudes of myself. He slowly picks it up and flips through it.

“Umm… So, you’ll pay for everything?”

“Yeah dude!” I lean in real close. “It’s the fucking moon bro! Do you know how much cooler this will make this place and myself if we do this!? I’m gonna carve my face on that mother fucker! Just y’know, cut corners where you can. I’m rich but I’m not made of money.”

“Cut corners how?”

“Well… Mastermind! He still here?” Lane shrugs. “Well if he is, could you just like… Zoom call him in?”

“What like his match? Yeah I guess, I mean we’d have to do that with the fans.”

“Except the ones that could afford the $250,000 space travel of course.”

“Damn! That’s a heavy ticket!”

“Fuck yeah baby, but it’ll all be worth it.” I finish my drink and stand with a twirl. ”Anyway sugar, I’mma bounce. Get us to the moon and let’s get paid, laid and… Spayed?”

Lane squints.

“Yeah, sure dude.”

“Adieu!”

I saunter the eff out of there as I am sure Lane watches my double decker stacked buns bounce on out of there. Lane picks the checkbook up in his hand and takes out his flip phone, placing it to his ear but I don’t know about this, because I’m not there anymore but it works for the story so shut up.

“Hey babe! You wanna get fucked up?”

I relax in my luxurious pool, floating around on an inflatable pair of big ol’ tiddies. I remove my sunglasses and look to you, the audience.

”I have no idea who Kieran Overtan is and quite frankly, I don’t care! All I know is that he’s fat and stinky at wrestling. To be brutally honest, he’s not the cat I wanna be associated with and since I’m not even a wrestler, I don’t know why I’m gonna kick his flabby ass back into developmental but hey! If you wanna talk to someone in this damn-ass place, you gotta have a match for some reason. Whatevs, I don’t make the rules, I just make them look good.”

“So since I have no idea who he is, I decided to look onto the internet for guidance and happened upon a fanfiction site which dabbles in erotica! After typing this bitch boy’s name in I found zero results due to the fact that he has no fans, which is pretty sad. But I didn’t want to disappoint you soft-cocked babes so I grabbed one about Corey Smith and Thaddeus Duke! Which I shall read now instead of wasting my time on that failed abortion.”

I grab my phone and clear my throat.

“Thad x Corey by NeFaRiOuS1.”

“The following takes place after the loss of the tag team titles (author’s note: which was fucking stoopid!!!! That match was SO rigged, the booking in XWF has been going to hell recently and this was almost enough to make me stop watching) broken and defeated after their match, we go to the Continuum locker room. Steam seeps through the room as the hiss from the shower hisses… Wow that’s redundant… Thaddeus sits on the bench, removing his pants exposing a mighty bulge hidden under his signature lace thong. Thad takes some lotion from his bag and begins to massages the white cream into his sore neck muscles, the shower stops and Corey walks out with a pout.”

“Hey buddy” says Thad “Why so glum?”

“Corey scoffs with a turn of his head. “Why so glum, chum!? We just got our asses beat and not in a good way.”

“Thaddeus sticks out his bottom lip. “Don’t worry my guy, there’s always next time. Say, I know what’d take your mind off it, how about you gimme a hand with this lotion?”

“Corey smirks as Thad shakes the bottle, The Gatekeeper strolls to Thaddeus’ back taking the lotion and sensually rubbing Thad’s muscular back; Corey uses both of his soft hands and forgets about the towel covering his lower body which drops to the floor but he don’t care! Thad groans as Corey caresses his body and backs into, a smile creeps onto his face.”

“Well, you can tell you’re not Lux anymore.” He jokes.(Author’s note: I know Lux was just a personality and Corey didn’t switch between male and female anatomy at will! However I did explore this in my other story Lux’s Self-Sux)”

“Corey playfully locks Thaddeus into a Full Nelson, he leans into Thaddues’ ear and whispers “You’ve been Illuminaughty.”

“Thad twists around and passionately kisses Corey’s soft feminine lips and grabs his soft feminime hips, pushing him against the lockers as the two warriors lock up in a tongue twisting Greko-Roman grapple. Corey’s delicate penis grows hard as he removes Thaddeus’ thong and his flaccid toy soldier flops out, Corey says nothing, he knows Thaddeus needs a few tries before he can get good. As Thaddeus lifts Corey up against the locker, a match is lit and the two snap their gaze towards the source of the sound seeing Doctor D’Ville sat in a leather chair smoking a cigar. He takes a long drag of his cigar and expels black smoke as he smirks looking at his twink slaves.”

“With a devilish chuckle he speaks “Looks like we’re going to make this Cumtinuum.”

I suddenly stop as a sharp pain hits my foot and then flows through my body and I seize in agony; my hair begins to fry and smoke, my eyeballs feel like they’re going to burst from my skull as they turn to the side of the pool and see a gleaming golden figure smoking a cigar staring down at me. My entire body is in pain, my organs as if they’re going to melt my eyes move to the toaster floating in the water. Things begin to go black as a horrible laugh fills my ears.

“I think we’ve all had enough of that, friend.”

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