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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Soft Deadline Welcome to Avalanche HQ!
Author Message
Ned Kaye Offline
per cogitabat, per facis
TITLE - Tag Champion



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#1
04-27-2021, 10:57 PM

OOC: Finishing some formatting.



A camera crew walks up to Avalanche HQ, just across from Morbid Angel’s megachurch. The building is large and plain, aside from a newly added statue with the Avalanche logo out front. The crew walk up to the doors to meet “Nefarious” Ned Kaye, who swings open the door with the gusto of an entertainer.

[Image: r30C4b0.png]

“Oh, thanks for dropping by. I’m The Nefarious One and this is Avalanche’s “crib.” Still not used to saying that. Can we do another take of th-”

The shot cuts to quick footage showing a brief overview of the various environments in the headquarters before settling on Ned’s room, adorned with only his most recent accomplishments and an unsettling amount of photographs of himself.

“This is where I hang out mostly. To be fair, it’s only been about a week or so, so I haven’t decorated it as completely as I’d like to, but I’d say it’s off to a pretty good start. Oh, look at this image!”

He points towards a photograph of the moment he used the brass knuckles to punch Edgar.

“That’s my favorite one by far.”

Another quick cut takes the crew and Ned down one of the many hallways of the building, Ned talking as he waltzes through the facility.

“See, the thing that sets Avalanche apart from these other second rate groups is our connection. BoB has nothing in common with one another. You wouldn’t see any one of them empathize with any other. The Left Hand doesn’t really care about each other beyond some prophetic religious bulls-[BLEEP]. I can say that on this show, right?”

The camera shows Ned standing in front of a large gaming room with Eobard Stone, who is playing some PS5 when initially seen. There are some tables made specifically for board gaming and a shelf filled with consoles old and new, some pinball machines towards the corner of the room.

“Hey Eobard, how’s the collection?”

[Image: c9L0Sc4.png]

“It’s pretty good! Just about anything I could want to play.”

Ned chuckles, casually bragging about Eobard’s archive of games.

“You name a game and this guy has it.”

“Gauntlet?” One of the camera crew speaks up, genuinely curious. Ned looks over to Eobard excitedly, although Stone shakes his head.

“I actually DON’T have that one.”

The Nefarious One looks back towards the member who spoke up, unsure what to say at first.

“[BLEEP] you! Somebody get that mother[BLEEP] outta here!”

After a jumpcut to later, the audio sounding somewhat worse with the loss of a shotgun mic, Ned and Eobard still stand next to each other. Ned is pissed, clearly having wanted the showcase of their new place to come off a little bit better than this.

“Name a different game!”

“...Sinistar?”

Eobard shakes his head again.

“Oh, for the love of- can we move on?”

After a brief transition, showing the view from the top of the building, Ned stands in front of Thias Watt’s door knocking before entering with the crew. Thias stands between two large gun cabinets. In fact, all of Thias’s room is large to match the man, so much so that Ned looks small in the room by comparison.

[Image: B8gEG0D.png]

“I always feel like a freaking munchkin coming in here. Got any new firearms to show off?”

Thias smirks, pulling out an SMG that’s appropriately sized to his hands.

“This little number right here.”

“Jesus Christ! You certainly took the whole livin’ large thing seriously, eh Thias?”

Watts nods.

“Big bed. Big guns. Big TV. Big socks.”

“Anything else?”

Thias thinks for a moment.

“Big shoes.”

“Makes sense. Moving on.”

Ned walks over to another door, somewhat lethargic standing in front of it.

[Image: JStetFJ.png]

“This is Dean’s room, but Rose actually isn’t here today. He’s been dealing with some stuff with Sarah, so I haven’t pried. Yet.”

“Still, I suppose that means we should check out Cooper’s room. But, not before we see my sound system.”


Standing in front of an elaborate array of speakers, Ned rubs his hands together, thinking of a good track to play. He calls out to an unseen Amazon Echo.

“Alexa, set volume to 100 and play Megadeth.”

A small, but audible response chimes back.

“Playing Megadeth.”

Music begins to blast out of the speakers violently, one crew member trying to speak over the music to Kaye.

“Isn’t it a Sunday morning?!”

“Oh, you’re right! ALEXA!”

The music pauses.

“Set volume to 120.”

“Setting volume.”

Ned’s cocksure, shit-eating grin returns to his face as the music rages on before the next transition to Steven Cooper’s humble looking room. There’s very little in the way of flair, although he does have many pictures from the old days. As Ned and the crew enter, he looks visibly confused.

[Image: RFhDQYJ.png]

“Wait, this is Cribs? Thought it was some baby show.”

“Why in the hell would you think that, Steve?”

“Well, the name for one. Besides,” Steve chuckles, “You seem like the type to try stealing candy from a baby on TV.”

“Please, like I would want to eat some infant slobber coated sucker. I’ll just let the parents raise their child on fattening sweets. Seems villainous enough to me.”

“That’s fair. So, is this like on the Home Network or something.”

“No, no. MTV.”

“MTV? The music video channel?”

“Coop, MTV hasn’t aired anything resembling music in 20 years.”

“Well, damn. Shame on me for not watching post-Whitesnake,” Cooper chuckles a bit, "seriously though, could I get a bit of privacy?”

The scene cuts to Ned’s office, overlooking the megachurch across the street. The camera focuses on Ned’s desk, the Hart Championship propped up proudly before Ned slaps it onto the floor near the seat, falling back into it shortly after.

“Oh, don’t focus on that piece of junk! I’m where the real money lies! The fact is that I’m The Talk of the XWF, not that hunk of metal. And I hope you’ve had fun with this little tour of ours. God knows we’ll have a ton of fun sprucing it up for the next time you see us because we’re not moving anytime soon.”

He cackles, clapping his hands together somewhat. His next words are surprisingly calm.

“Alright. Get the hell out.”

“...What? Right now?”

“Yeah, we’re done here. You know where the door is. I’ve got business to attend to and I don’t need the minds behind Teen Mom soiling the air I breathe. So, leave now, because I won’t ask nicely twice.”

“You didn’t ask nicely the first time…”

Ned tilts his head, a manic spark in his eye as the camera crew retreats, the seated Nefarious One not lifting a finger.

-----

The Nefarious One leans back in the large chair he showed off during the camera crew's tour of Avalanche HQ. He cracks his knuckles and props his feet up on the desk. He shakes his feet somewhat, looking uncomfortable before having an idea. He reaches beneath the desk and pulls out the Hart Title, draping it over the table and then placing his feet on it with a wide smirk.

"Now that's better."

"It's a nice place, ain't it? Cost quite a bit, but it's worth the extra dough. If I'm going to build a temple, I might as well build it to myself and to the group that will turn over the XWF in such a profound fashion. But I must admit, the location is no coincidence. Sometimes, past their prime kings of catering need to be taught a lesson. I mean, it's not like Morbid really earned this match through talent or revitalization or through an impressive performance. No, no, no. Morbid decided to test the whims of the wolf and he is about himself thoroughly maimed. A nice little snack prior to my destruction of anyone not named Thaddeus Duke at Leap of Faith because he isn't beating EXP in this decade or the next. But that's because people like Stone and Cooper are evergreen talents, but you, Morbid? You weren't even the best of the worst. You were a midcarder in the least competitive era in this federation's history. Your accomplishments, which are mediocre in a generous interpretation of the word, are now things you don't even believe you earned. You devoted your life to God and now have done a 180 on everything but behavior, which is a pretty key part of being a born again Christian. Although your demeanor implies more of a born again Edge, the point remains: you didn't really change shit, you just replaced the standard sacrilege for Christ-positive sacrilege. I mean, you used to come out to God Gives Head in Heaven! That does beg the question, however. If He gives head in Heaven, is that why you suck so much down here on Earth?"

"You're 50/50 in your return, having only won in a game of football that you had to have a whole team for and in a match against Barney Green. But you face anyone with a big win this year? You lose and do it quite definitively. You’re not just out of your prime, but your prime was an era where Peter Gilmour was a Universal Title contender. Maybe that’s why there’s a mysterious “second” Morbid Angel lingering around whatever cesspool the biggest cancers of the past scattered off to. God knows you couldn’t relive the glory days without the easy competition. For all your insistence of change, you’ve really just placed a giant spotlight on why you actually became so enthusiastic at the prospect of adopting your fervent Christianity: you wanted people to see the flamboyant, Jesus-covered exterior so they’d ignore that juuuust below the surface is the same bargain bin walking unwashed jockstrap that you’ve always been. The only time you ever had confidence in yourself is when you could spit slurs without a precious pay cut. And let’s make this crystal clear: I’m not gonna high road you for offending people, I couldn’t care less about who you upset, I’m just disappointed at how unimaginative you are about it! You never did anything that anyone else couldn’t do twenty times better with ten times the ratings! Hell, you’re such a non-draw that you dragged me down the card with you, giving everyone a blissful Main Event where Page eats my sloppy seconds and BoB pretends to be impressed by it! This belt right here?”


Ned taps the Hart Championship with one of his feet.

“This is the top belt in the XWF even if it’s beneath my feet, but your sheer presence is enough to knock it down a few points. Oh well, I did throw the challenge your way. Maybe you’ll impress everyone and do us all the favor of lying down and being a sacrificial lamb for the audience’s sake. The real shame about it all is that you make for one hell of a rotten son of a bitch, but you just can’t commit anymore. Without being able to be defined by those who shake your hand, your edge has become more blunt than your religion’s messaging. I wonder how much you believe that tripe about God? Maybe that’s what all this is about: Your career is coming to a close and you can only rectify any of it by hoping so hard that there’s someone there to forgive you. But, considering you actively cosplay as your former self in backwater sludge indies, perhaps that’s too complex for you. Say what you may about me taking control over Ned, however I’ve actually gained out of that arrangement. I gained a brotherhood. A shiny piece of metal to hold just out of reach of every naive hopeful who comes to get broken by me. I hold accolades from all around this federation despite my clarity involving my intentions to destroy its foundations. I am The Talk of the XWF and even kings and legends are but whispers in my presence. But just because I’m The Talk doesn’t mean I’m All Talk. No, no, no. I’ve beaten on little Edgar more than enough and my sights are now fixated solely on you, despite the lack of threat you pose to me. You know why?”

“Because, Morbid, transactions with Avalanche are a one way street. We take and others give. If I have a belt, then no one will ever hold that belt again. If there is a building next to someone who thinks that he can make all laws bend to him, then we take that building. And if there is a man who thinks he knows what Hell is and that no one can ever scratch him or break his soul, then I take him down farther than he ever knew Hades could plunge. So, you can go back and live your storied career in catering or you can come out there Wednesday and learn a wonderful lesson from the best champion and greatest teacher in this company.”

“That you don’t take my chicken from me and when I walk forward, you sit the fuck down.”


Ned smiles, looking up to his ceiling and uttering a few final words.

“Alexa, play Danzig.”

“Playing Danzig.”

The music blasts as Ned’s smirk grows wider.

“Oh, the music your church is about to experience. You really should all be thanking me. Who could ask for a better neighbor?”

"You can't run from yourself."
[Image: riNkNZw.png]
XWF
Wins | Losses | Draws
52 | 37 | 4


Indie Darling Eternal

#33 on The XWF Top 50(2021)
1x Tag Team Champion[with Isaiah King](Current)
2x [Image: CbviDqC.png] (Former)
1x X-Treme Champion(Former)
The Final Supercontinental Champion
1x Television Champion(Former)
Star of the Month - April 2019 | March 2021 | December 2022
RP of the Month - March 2021 (Void of the Mind)
Winner - Leap Of Faith Rafter Match 2019
1x 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Winner - War Games 2023(With Mark Flynn, Isaiah King, & Crash Rodriguez as G00D-B01)


All Time Career(Interfed)
Wins | Losses | Draws
52 | 38 | 4
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (04-28-2021), B.O.B. D (04-28-2021), Charlie Nickles (04-28-2021), Corey Smith (04-28-2021), Lycana (05-01-2021), Morbid Angel (05-03-2021), R.L. Edgar (04-28-2021), Sil (04-28-2021), Theo Pryce (04-28-2021), Thunder Knuckles™ (04-28-2021)




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