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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
I Will Change You Like a Remix, Then I'll Raise You Like a Phoenix!
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Agent Orange Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Heel w/ Cult Following

(the heel you love to love; does whatever they want)


#1
06-26-2013, 05:30 AM

YANKEE STADIUM

Agent Orange is sitting in the stands of Yankee stadium, watching the grounds crew get the field ready for tonight’s game. He is dressed in blue jeans and a Houston Astros baseball jersey, his sunglasses are tinted orange. As ushers and concession workers pass him, they give him nasty looks and mumble obscenities under their breath. Agent Orange turns to the camera.

Agent Orange: I hate the Yankees almost as much as I hate yarders who walk into wrestling organizations and start swinging their junk around as if they’ve done something. They’ve got a lot in common, the Yankees and the Yarders. They both have an inflated sense of entitlement, they are worshipped by a**holes who don’t know any better and eventually, they both get brought back down to reality by someone better, faster and stronger. Death Merchant, if you’re having trouble following along: The Yankees are a baseball team, you and Jack-Off are the Yard-tards and I am better than you.

Speaking of Jack-In-The-Box; did you guys see him grow a pair of vocal chords recently? Admittedly, I didn’t catch all of it. I was busy doing anything else with anyone else but I did catch the highlights. Jack said something about sleeping in trash cans, being hit in the back and that he and Jewelry-box are getting serious. When I signed on to the Warfare roster, I was told that there was no gratuitous sex or violence and the next thing you know, Jack B. Nimble starts talking about his love life and how he likes the rough stuff. Little Jack Horner sat in his corner on the XWF interview stage and said how he knows things that you can’t learn in a wrestling gym. If I have to go to a club to get smacked around by a lady wearing plastic bed sheets to learn what Jack-Jack knows, I will just go ahead and suck for the rest of my career.

Death Merchant, I just want to remind you that I really wish your mom had thrown you in that dumpster, but what’s done is done and we all have to live with those consequences now. You are very early in your career and you will learn the basic things: wrestling holds, personal hygiene and when that woman who is talking to you is a tranny or not. These things will come in time; but for now, I have to steamroll over you. This is probably my last chance to do something worth mentioning in professional wrestling, so I have to make this opportunity count. In a nutshell, I have to make an impact and to make an impact I need to embarrass both you and Lowjack. It’s inevitability.


Agent Orange turns back to the field.

Agent Orange: This is the time where I reflect on the match coming up; the matches that have lead me to where I’m standing and where this match will take me. It’s lose-lose for me really. If I lose, I was beaten by a guy who can’t become aroused unless something has been set on fire and a guy who escorts a he-she-lady-boy around the city without a clue. If I win, I’ve still only beat a couple of yarders fresh off the trampoline. All roads lead to Yankee stadium tonight.

Fin.
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DeathMerchant (06-26-2013)




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