Everything had been so good for Dr. Ned Kaye last year before tragedy had struck and he lost it all. He shakes violently in front of the camera, hammering away on an updated model of Ref-O-Tron, feeling the rage surge through him, ending with a climactic shout!

“PEACESTEIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN! Last year, you and your darling America spearheaded my downfall, but not this time! This time, I stand before you, a changed doctor! A MAN POSSESSED BY THE SPIRIT OF REVENGE! I shall step over anyone and everyone to get to you! And my patented Ref-O-Tron shall surely afford me the greatest and sweetest of victories! I don’t care if Haterman wishes to try and derail my success or the banal glittery body of Quakkana trying to push me out of the Stipulation Shuffle! This year, I attain revenge! Redemption! I shall regain my beloved Dictatorsh- ah, Free Republic of Illinois and add Alaska to conquered territories! And thankfully, only the FXW is a company stupid enough to do business with a morally indifferent power that threatens journalists and tries to market its authoritarian regime tastefully!”

Ned stares at the fourth wall for a moment, coughing.

“Regardless, I shall return to being the king of the FXW and you cannot stop me, Sean! Your patriotism is not enough to stop my pure evil AHAHAHAH-”

Ned gets cut off by one of the patrons of the Evil Bar.

“Will you shut up and sing already, Kaye?!”

“Ahem.”

(To the tune of Born in the USA)

Claimed the state of Illinois
While the FXW was acting coy
They treat you like a God while you’re under employ
Till you get knocked out by Peacestein’s toy

Born in the FPSI
I was born in the FPSI
I was born in the FPSI
Born in the FPSI

Lost all of my respect
So they said I could no longer protect
Laughed me off of my own show
I tell you man, it really blows!

Born in the FPSI
I was born in the FPSI
I was born in the FPSI
I was born in the FPSI
Born in the FPSI

Had to sell my land to the GLaP
The world thinks my reign is just a wrap
Tried to beat Peterson’s back
But my robot decided that I had tapped

Ned begins to break down in tears at the karaoke night and has to be pulled off of the stage.

"You can't run from yourself."