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Dean Rose · (03-15-2021)

The vignette starts on what seems to be a tour bus, the camera is zoomed in on the window and pans over as multiple cars drive past.

"Hey, You rolling bro?"
Asks the voice of Dean Rose.
"Yeah, i'm rolling. you wanna say anything?"
The camera quickly flips over to Dean, he is wearing black jeans and a black t shirt, pretty much dressed like Simon Cowell.
"Sure, alright let me hype myself up."
We hear the sound of a can opening, then aa large gulp.
A few seconds later, we hear a large smash and then a """very manly""" scream.
"holy shit, are you okay man."
"yeah, im fine, now point the camera at the fucking kitchen and lets do this."

The vignette properly starts as Dean swaggers up to the camera.
"Hey people, its the XWF Internet Champion of the world here, Mr Dean Rose."
He leans on the counter, picks up an apple and takes a bite out of it which very obviously hurt his teeth.
He has a very noticeable ring shaped mark on his forehead, probably leading lesser intelligent people to believe Dean smashed his head off of the can and hurt himself.
"So im sure you're all excited seeing me on screen, wondering why im here, what my goal is.
Well as you amazing and excellent internet fans know, im going to be at the March Madness event, but not just competing, competing in 2 (possibly 3) matches.
So i know that you people are already buying the pay per view, probably because you want to see me shut up, but unfortunately for you that will not happen."

Dean throws the rest of the apple in the garbage, then opens the fridge.
Inside of the fridge is a crate of beer, a micro wave burger and..... THE INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP.
Dean takes out the beer and shuts the fridge.
"So as i was saying, im going to be wrestling 2 confirmed matches.
One of which, is a "second chance battle royal" match.
Now i dont know or care why its a second chance battle royal, but im excited.
You guys will also notice im in a match with Boris, now i dont really care about this match, so i wont talk about it for now.
My "special agent" tells me i have to talk about Boris soon though, so keep an eye out for that."

"i hate to interrupt, Boss. But youre not really talking about the match, youre just stating facts about it."
"If you hate to interrupt, then why do you do it?"
"Well after our interview on Anarchy, you said that you wanted to keep me around to keep your promos in check, remember?"
"Sure, whatever you say jim."
"my names tim, sir."
Dean smiles like a little shit.
"it doesnt matter what your name i-"

*The video quickly fades to black*

When the video cuts back, the kitchen is noticeably messier and both men are out of breath.

"ok, back to it.
So lets get to the point, boys and girls.
When i walk into that match i am the underdog, and while im not the stereotypical underdog i objectively am."
"What about Liam Roberts?"
"He is only in the match as cannon fodder, forget him.
Also to be an underdog you need fan support, which he does not.
SO... as i was saying, its gunna be a very tough battle."

He takes a sip from a beer can

"I mean lets look at the competitors right now.
We have Demos the TV champion, we have Ned Kaye the decently talented guy, Terry Borden aka Murica man, Calypso the Federweight spaz, Kris "the hammer" name too long, Scarlet The Huntress doing.... something, Ruckus the rapist, Captain Future the Little Witch fan, Champ Sportsman... sure i guess, Mickey "the kink" Kinkade who's never fucked a woman he hasnt paid for OR been related to, Ethos who is boring, Diesel who'll probably tear his quads from walking, Andre Dixon thats only getting dix-in the shower in pris-in."

Dean sips his beer again, he then grins.

"And finally, last of all, ME."

"So who do you think is most likely to win?"
"Well thats a stupid fucking question, Tim.
I am the only likely winner."
"I wouldnt be so sure, Dean. I mean Demos is dangerous, Ned is a really big star, Diesel is too overpowering."
"See thats how it relates. Its like David Vs a bunch of Goliaths, except some of the goliaths are jobbers."
"Well you never know, a jobber COULD sneak up behind you and throw you out."
"Tim what the fuck, i hire you for some camera work and a really fucking good *bleep* with a bunch of *bleep*."
"Just shut up and do the promo."
"I was planning on it.
Now, lets get serious and let me state some cold, hard facts.
FACT 1: I won my first match, cleanly and convincingly
FACT 2: My second match was a dud that was bullshit
FACT 3: I won the Internet Championship after 3 matches and a month in the company, the quickest winner of that belt since its inauguration.
FACT 4: I am going into this battle royal with the most momentum, second is Demos, third is Ned Kaye.
FACT 5: I am John Cenas favorite wrestler.
FACT 6: I am the face of the IWC, the second most toxic fanbase since K pop.
Dean throws the beer bottle into the garbage and grins like a little shit.

"So lets keep this short and sweet, Like the XWF podcast says, 1000 good words is better than 3000 empty threats.
SO to cut it sweet, on March 28th, in Las Vegas, i am going to steal the show.
I dont make empty threats, I always follow up on my promises.
When it comes to the Battle Royal.
I WILL OUTLAST EVERYONE."
Dean walks back through the bus.

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