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Jim "the Jim" Jimson · (02-27-2021)

The story starts with Jimson piloting the dolphin blood fueled jet. The engine hums along as the jet soars through the open skies at great speeds. The camera opens on a shot of Jim Jimson seated alone in the cockpit of the jet. Jim had sent Demos to the Juche library room, hoping that some solid readings could help pull his friend back from the influence of the posadist Dolphins. Suddenly a call from Jim Jong Un interrupts the smooth flying. The holographic image of a muscled up black man decked out in green military fatigues flashes across the dashboard.

Jim Jong Un: DDS, how far away are you right now?!

Jim Jimson: My guesses are that we are about an hour or 2 hours away. Right now, how are things going on your big black side?

Jim Jong Un: I?m going to be honest, not good, they have us on the ropes, we are down to the last few men left, the sheer numbers are overwhelming, we won?t give up until the very end though! Our wills are stronger than theres could ever be, we embody the will of true communism!

Jimson salutes Jim Jong Un as the hologram turns off. Demos walks into the scene with a blue book and a red book tucked securely underneath his arms.

Demos: You know this Juche communism doesn?t look too bad!

Jim Jimson: It?s ?not too bad? It?s the only type of communism that can work! You wouldn?t be able to understand that, Dolphin.

Demos: I?M NOT A DOLPHIN!

Jim Jimson: Oh really? That?s still up for debate, bucko.

Cool Jimson: Urrrrrh, are you err, we at Savage yet?

Jim Jimson: No, no we?re not, go away, what?chu gotta do, u gonna get cussed out by Charlie from the grave?

Cool Jimson: Nooooooo? I?m going to talk inside the void, so nobody else can hear it!

Jim Jimson: Took you long enough to figure that thing out.

Cool Jimson: Asshole.

Jim Jimson: Go fuck yourself, go win the tag titles, oh wait, ur the drizzling shits and are going to be the one taking a pin.

Cool Jimson: Pinned? You doofus! It?s a ladder match! If they pin me, great! I?m distracting them from the victory objective! Besides, if Corey can be a tag team champion, I can become a tag team champion!

Jim Jimson: Who cares about Corey?

Cool Jimson: You know what, I don?t really like that guy.

Jim Jimson: Huh?

Cool Jimson: You know Corey, you said that you?ve got the skillset of a universal champion, you know, I feel like after dating Vita Valentine, going through Lux and Engineer.exe you would have figured it out by now, but it seems like you haven?t figured it out. It?s pretty clear that you?re still on your old grind since you?re teaming with Thad and doing this whole will they won?t they thing. You can?t transfer wrestling talent by having as many talented wrestlers get inside of you. All you're going to get is an STI, my dude. Lux had the skillset of a universal champion, engineer.exe had the skillset of a universal championship. You, Corey Smith don?t have the skillset of a universal champion.

Jim Jimson: Hey man if you ever wanna become a really, really good jobber, all you gotta do is call me, baby boy, I?ll be your big girl, Corey. *blows kiss*

Cool Jimson: I mean, shit you?re proving just how much little talent you?ve transferred like shit! The best u got is saying that, that loser Jimson is not sexy and that Demos is unhygenic. Are you in your 20s or are you 2, because saying that someone is ugly and they smell is the shit that doesn?t put butts in the seats, it hurts toddlers feelings.

Jim Jimson: I was hurt?. I?M ATTRACTIVE TO SOMEONE AND DEMOS SMELLS PLEASANTLY WITH HIS NEW HIGH END SHAMPOO!!!

Cool Jimson: Ah, it hurts toddlers and mentally disabled men!

Jim Jimson: Hey we?re the same person, dispshit.

Cool Jimson: And secondly Corey, you said that my friend that reeks of nice smelling dolphin semen is trapped as a midcarder and is ?just at the cusp? of being a main eventer, because he?s only been able to beat guys like Thunder Knuckles and Robbie Bourbon, but when he tries to face guys higher up the card he fails and falls back into midcard hell, but who have you beaten Corey? What top guy have you faced, who the hell did you beat that gives you the ?skillset of a universal champ?? Oh yea, I guess you did beat Thunder Knuckles and Robbie Bourbon in that ladder match at Snowjob. Well, technically Doc D?Ville beat them, but you were there! Charlie on the other hand threw Bourbon over the top rope and he?s pinned Thunder Knuckles about a million times by now.

Jim Jimson: ??....

Cool Jimson: [color=#E0FFF] Well, I guess you did beat good ol? Centy in a tag team match, he?s a pretty good worker, he?s a certified legend, beating him is quite an achievement huh. Apart from the fact that Betsy whooped him and beat him. [/color]

Jim Jimson: Wait a minute??.

Cool Jimson: You know the same woman who is Atara?s bottom bitch? You know the same woman who alongside her girlfriend, atty, got her asses kicked by DDS in like 5 minutes! Apart from old timers, that definitely aren?t what they used to be, you don?t really got many wins over any main event guys, Corey, so it?s odd that you seem to be the first guy to say that Demos isn?t a main event guy. Well, I guess you?re not the first guy. Jenny Myst said pretty much the exact same stuff word for word. You?re honestly like the fourth or fifth person to come at Charlie with that whole ?oh you lost to Lacklan and Robert Main? trash talk. I don?t think Lux or the Engineer would?ve had to use the community talking points against Charlie. But you?re not at their level, so I guess that checks out.

Jim Jimson: ?.Is it just me or?...

Cool Jimson: All you?ve done is have your body hijacked and make a team with Doc and then jump into a team with Thad

Jim Jimson: ??

Cool Jimson: You keep on switching the tag titles around between each other, not only is freebirding COMPLETELY ILLEGAL, it shows that you're not a good tag team! Being a Tag Team means working with your tag team partner, building chemistry with a partner and helping with each other strengths while covering each other's weaknesses, but when you just go off and swap out your team-mates it ruins the whole point of what a tag team is supposed to be. Before this you?ve mainly just had to face tag teams slapped together, people that don?t got teamwork, that don?t have chemistry, that are just the two good wrestlers teaming together for the week, but me and Demos, we are a real tag team, we are friends and even if he may or may not be dolphin, I know that my tag partner is somewhere in the back of his head and he?s not just the dolphin that has taken over his body and giving his hallucinations, he is the TV champion, the longest reigning TV champion, longer than Thad?s reign, he is a main event talent, Demos is more than just the dolphin controlling his body right now, but you, Corey you aren?t, you?re nothing without Lux steering the wheel to victory, that?s why you need Thad.

Jim Jimson: WAIT, YOU SAID THAT DEMOS ISN?T GOOD BECAUSE HE?S ONLY BEATEN THUNDER KNUCKLES AND BOURBON, BUT THEN YOU SAID THE COREY IS GOOD BECAUSE HE BEAT THUNDER KNUCKLES AND BOURBON, THOSE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE!!!

Cool Jimson: Jesus, you?re so slow, Jim

Demos chimes in to the conversation Jim is having with himself. Demos loves a good KiKi with his new friend Jim Jimson.

Demos: Corey, Corey, Corey?.

I gave him every chance to save his skin. To take the high road. But he kept on ahead, marching to the beat of Thad?s drum.

Even now, I don?t want to give Corey what he?s asking for. A fight with the Demos is not what Corey Smith needs now, at this moment of his attempted rebirth.

But he?s given me no choice.

His skull will crack beneath the boot of the Demos. I?m sure it will be a shocking change of pace for the boy.

Will that hot tub he loves seem so relaxing when he can?t feel your legs? I hope he enjoys it while he can. I?ve heard paraplegics become quite skittish when trapped in a boiling tub with no way to get themselves out. When his neck won?t turn and his arms go past your chest, will he feel so at ease inside of those steamy waters?

Oh poor Corey Smith. He was just learning how to run with the big boys again. It?s a shame I have to sweep his feet out from under him so early into his next failed reboot.

He?s right to blame yourself for Thad?s sloppy Snow Job, you know. How could Thad turn in a stellar performance while constantly listening to his bickering? Worrying about the odd couple he?s sending out to defend his hard earned titles? The daily stress wore him down. The long nights, listening to Corey whine on and on about having to partner with a man so clearly his better. Corey Smith cost Thaddeus his championship. The dysfunction, the drama, the heartbreak. It?s tearing them apart and costing The Continuum titles.

First, Corey cost Thaddeus the universal championship. Now, he will cost him the tag team championships. Their relationship is heading for the rocks.

But in truth, that?s for the best. Their will they won?t they angle i-

Cool Jimson: Hey man you should tell him we already covered the will they won?t they stuff! I think the audience is clear on it! We all know Thad and Corey are going to, and they don?t even realize that no one wants them to! It?s gross to watch. It?s like some shitty soap opera that runs late at night on the lonely housewives channel.

Demos: You know Corey Smith, for a man so quick to ridicule my partner for a lack of depth you really oughta wander out of the shallow end of the pool.

Depth. Meaning. Spiritual investigation.

When are you going to quit fornicating with these ideas and actually demonstrate them? You brought your little Engineer back, but for what? For a quick joke about naming conventions?

For fucks sake, Corey. You?re giving us all blue balls! Are you going to examine the content and form of the soul, or are you going to meander around the meadows of mediocrity while trying to remind the audience that you were, at one point, a much more intimidating performer?

Jim Jimson: Hey Cool Jimson! I?m not slow! I?m just trying to pilot the jet, I?m not particularly focusing on your bullshit rambling, we?re in North Korea now, prepare.

Cool Jimson facepalms in annoyance as Jim chimes in about two minutes too late. Jim proceeds to slap his left ass cheek, he then starts shake his left leg, out of the left pant leg a rocket launcher falls out.

Jim Jimson: Oh and you get this

Jim passes Demos a toy gun

Jim Jimson: I don?t know if you?re a dolphin or not sooooooooooooooo

Demos: Jim, are you kidding me?

Jim then throws Demos a parachute pack

Jim Jimson: Okay, we?re all ready!

Jim opens the drop door. Demos looks out seeing the battlefield, filled with thousands of well armored dolphins and the corpses of men littered around the groun. The dolphins seem to notice the helicopter as loud sirens proceed to go off.

WARNING WARNING WARNING DDS IS NEAR THE THE 2ND FRONT LINE WARNING FOR ALL DOLPHINS ON THE 2ND FRONT LINE WARNING WARNING WARNING

Demos: They look like they know that we are the Dolphin Destruction Squad

Jim Jimson: Hey you know how to use a parachute right?

Demos: Yea

Jim Jimson: ok

Jim proceeds to push Demos out of the jet

Jim Jimson: DOLPHIN SON OF A BITCHES!!

Jim jumps out and presses a button on his trousers, a jetpack grows out of the back of belt as Jim starts to shoot the rocket launcher down onto the dolphins fearing for their lives

Demos is still in the air, slowly coming down holding his trusty water gun tightly

*Legally we are not allowed to show the dolphin massacre on XWF network as it goes against the geneva conventions*

When Demos lands onto North Korean soil, there seems to be some type of agreement with Jim & the Dolphins as they are no longer fighting, but Jim looks annoyed

Demos: What is going on now?

Jim Jimson: Huh, You should know, you dolphins got a hivemind,YOU DOLPHIN DICKHEAD ALL OF YOU ARE DICKHEADS

Demos: Jim, I hate dolphins like you do, Jim, jesus stop with this shit? how about, humour me, how about you go with the idea that I?m not a dolphin and that I don?t know

Jim Jimson: .... Fine? The dolphins got through Jim Jon Un?s line, he?s been captured, they have said that they?ll release him as long as we fight the two best wrestling dolphins they got in a tag team ladder match for your TV title. If we win, they will leave north korea and give back Jim Jong Un, if the dolphins win, they will take the TV title rejoining with Posadia and offer it to Johnny Legend to meet the Legendary conditions and achieve nuclear annihilation

Demos: So, do you trust me? Or do you think I?m still a dolphin?

Jim Jimson: arrrrh, this is a good time to show that you?re not just a dolphin and that you?re really Charlie or used to be Charlie or what would have been .

Demos: Well, I?m not gonna lose my title or my get nuked, lets do this

Conveniently a ring is set up on the battlefield, Jim and Demos step in standing against the two dolphins Darwin from Seaquest and Flipper, most well known for being in a 1996 feature film starring Paul Hogan and Elijah Wood.

Jim Jimson: Dammit the top 2 dolphins in the world are our opponents

Demos: It?s the best dolphins in the world vs. the best human tag team in the world

A bell rings and the match begins, a crane is holding the TV title in the air and a single ladder is placed in the middle of the ring. Instead of match, a clip of highlights rolls across the screen, as the communist regime of dolphin posadia, own the rights to the full match that you can watch on the Posadian dolphin network right now by signing up for $9.99 a month.

The two dolphins seemed to mainly focus on Demos. The dolphins don?t seem to care much about Jim. The heavymetalweight legend is left like a fly, having to force himself into the centre of attention usually with weapons, but he usually ends up getting shut down by the dolphins. Jim continues to come back and get shut down over and over again while Demos becomes more and more worn out. At one point Jim is shut down, but the dolphins don?t stop at that, they continue to beat down on him, throwing him through the english announce table (the dolphins first language is spanish so the english table gets fucked) Jim is out of it after this and it truly becomes a 2 on 1 between the top 2 dolphins.

Demos is left in trouble by the dolphins after the top 3 dolphin in the world, Winter, thwacks him in the head with a hidden weapon, under her bandages and then leaves, Darwin to beat down on Demos as Flipper proceeds to set up the ladder and starts to climb up the ladder, he gets closer and closer to the TV title, until Jim makes the return shoving Flipper off the title and grabs the title down in time before Darwin is able to stop him. Jim passes the title back to Demos

Demos: We did it, we beat the dolphins again

Jim Jimson: Come on, are you surprised they didn?t focus on me that whole match, it was easy to sneak in and ge the win, I?m a HMW MVP after all

Jim Jimson: Yep, no dolphin would have done that, if you weren?t actually a dolphin Charlie, sorry, Demos.

Demos: It?s okay.

Jim Jimson: Now I feel bad for spraying you with dolphin semen

Demos: Huh?

Jim Jimson: Nothing.

Demos: Wait what do you mean dolphin semen?

Jim Jimson: That?s it, the narrator roll up the promo.

Jim and Demos look off into the sunset reunited and determined as ever to bring the tag team gold back to North Korea.

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