My Gurls R Many

Welcome to the shit house! Today we're having an interview hosted by a brand new interview lady or whatever we call them nowadays. She's tall and hot af w/ legs on top of legs, whatever that means. Yeah it's me, Greggo's mind voice. I'ma narrate this bag of piss 4 ya'olo'all. Ya dig?

So here's a closer look at this new hottie on the scene just so.... well..... ya know........ in case any1 wants to pause the RP (recorded promo) for any reason and uh maybe take care o' bidness if ya know what I mean. ;)

[oh just pretend a pic of some hot lady is here ok? fuck]

And here's the thing about this chick................. It ain't gonna matter how sizzlin' she is. Nothing can save her from salvation. That's because her next big interview is really just gonna be a casual sit down with YER BOI GREGGO! Mmmm, mmm, MMMMMMMM!!!! Tastes like suckcess to meeee's!

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We arrive to the random, nondescript room that has some basic ass table in the middle of it and a few cheap, plastic chairs. The table looks like one you'd see used in a wrestling match, and has a big f'n crack running through it like lightning. Hrmph, I'm walking in thinking I'm gonna be dealin' with professionals but am quickly reminded it's an XWF production. Got it.

So I shrug off the shit of the shituation and take a humble seat, looking across this wobbly ass table and into the eyes of what most men probably think is one hell of an attractive young lady. I, on the other hand, happen to agree. Damn she's fine! That's not the reading you'd get from my person, tho. Oh no's! You'd see me sitting there, emotionless, with those empty black hole eyes of glass, just peering through her like she ain't even there. Like she ain't even real.

Mmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmm.....

That silly little squiggle?

Yeah, that..... On my face...... You see it. It's the early sign of a smile but I'm also heavily drugged up so don't be surprised if it just turns into me drooling all over my own chest, stomach, cock, balls, etc, etc, and etc.

The hottie across the table looks me right in the eye and says something that catches me kinda off guard up in this bitch. She straight up asks a G (a Greggo) what the fuck's up! Except she does it sooooo politely....

Kelli: "Hello Greggo, thanks for taking the time out of your day to meet with me on such short notice. How are you?"

She seems a little nervous, probably because she's a rookie in the interview bidness. Dumb f'n bimbo. Ahhhhuuugghhh, nonetheless I must press on! Just like my daddy's daddy used to always say when times got hard and shitty. Press the shit out of those fucks. I embrace my family's way while simultaneously remembering to actually answer this bitch sitting across from me instead of daydreaming with a blank ol stare on my ugly ass face for an hour.

Oh! Uhhhhh, sorry lemme snap into it real quick.

I shake my head and slap the back of my head a few times, before just grabbing my face with both hands and mushing it all up for no apparent reason........... but oh there's a reason. Even if it wasn't........................................... apparent.

This bitch thinks she's clever or something so she fires off at the mouth.

Kelli: "Do you need a Slim Jim? You know, to snap into it?" and insert an uncomfortable ass laugh from her as she tries to bring me back to Earth or whateverthefuck.

Mmmmmmm, tastes like I'm far from home again. Oooooo, hey gurl. What's yer name? and oh yes, the G has arrived. It's time for this Greggo dick to get some play. Watch how nice I do.

Kelli: "My name is Kelli Weinenbergunstein. I'm with WKRP in Cincinnati and I'd-

LOL

Doh! I lol'd her mid sentence....dang it. I try to force a cracked out smile and let her bitch ass continue.

Kelli: "I wanted to take this time to discuss a lot of recent events and draw a clear outline for our viewers of just what brought Greggo to this point in time and where he's going from here. There seem to be a lot of unanswered questions about Greggo as a whole."

Peep this lil' chickadee, I ain't no hole. I can become anything you want me to be tho because we r each a reflection if not a deflection of either each other or of self, so me not being something means I technically am it when certain combinations of flections are obliqfuscationed to the exact lottery. Ya dig?

Now, with me having given as specific and direct of an answer as I just did, wouldn't ya think this dumb ol bitch would be able to understand? Welllllp guess what....... NNNNOPERZ!

Kelli: "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

What did I tell you? She don't get it. So here I go playing Mr. Niceguy s'more and trying to explain to this hot air balloon just what tf I just said. Forced smile? Check! (even though I look like a crack head w/ missing teeth, smiling and begging for a nickel)

Gurl lemme sit you down on my knee and s'plain a few things right quick. Lemme unlighten your mind of the lies and trickery the outside werld plugged you up with.

Kelli: "That's highly inappropriate."

But she's thinking about it.

I just keep staring at her.

Yup, like, REALLY staring right at her with my eyes bugging as big as humanly possible. It's partly because of the drugs but also because I think I'm a scientist with mind control powers. Watch closely as I never blink.

Look at her getting nervous. The silence in my eyes. The sex in my eyes. She has NO idea what to do rn. None. No idea, yo.

But then..........

But thennnnnnnnn..................................

That hand!

Where did it come from?!?

And where... where oh where IS it?

You guess it, yolks n' folks! It's that Greggo hand! It's yo boi's hand all up on Kelli's knee under the taaaaaaable!!!!!! BOOOOOO YAAAAAA!!!!!!! And remember all this yellin' and BOOO'YAAAA'ing is happening in my head and all the while there I am as calm and sedated as a street puma, stealthily running my hand up the runway of her inner thigh.

My eyes doe...

They're
Freakin
HUGE

You feel that, m'lady? You feel that 'lectricity flowing up yer limbs? You taste that throbbing lust for a time when nobody's judging you by the size o' dem titties?

The horny ass look in her eyes told the full story here. She was mine. Done deal. Signed, sealed and delivered. Yup, she might as well be washing me down in bed and bringing me porridge already.

Kelli: "I... I... I don't know what to say."

Look at her face. It's beet red! She's blushy af rn and it's all for me.

Don't SAY anything. Just show meh. Expose the love you have inside yer heart. Show me the good in you gurl.

Mmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmmm, and that's when she does it. You better believe she shows me that love. That's right, she removes her top and exposes her gargantuan watermelon titties to yo boi! Hot dayumn! Remember my eyes? How they were already buggin'? Well daddy-o lemme tell you what happened to them now. POP! Yup they exploded.

So there I was, with no eyes. Literally just blood and guts and bone and brains and piss and shit endlessly spurting out of my big gaping eye sockets. Boy when they pop they pop. Kelli is screaming but I don't know why because I can't see her. I'm guessing she got some in her mouff. Mmmmm.

So I'm in more pain than ever before I guess. But it's hard for me to scream and freak out because I'm also trying to see where the fuck I'm going. I'm stumbling around the room, knocking shit over n' just making a big ass mess over here. I end up knocking the camera guy over. I end up having sex with Kelli. We end up breaking the table in the sexiest of ways.

Hours later, when all is said and done, Kelli and I are just smoking a boat load of drugs and snackin' on nasty ass food/bugs.

Kelli: "I'm so glad I met you. You're such a pure, gentle spirit. I... I think I love you, Greggo."

Yeah that's right I got this bird peckin' at these Greggo balls fast. Don't be jelly.

A few days later, we travel to a secret location to have my missing eyes replaced with some sort of natural crystal eye orbs that very few people be knowin' about. They'll look pretty much like my old eyes did, but guess what? Yup you guessed it. They can see through hot bois n' gurls clothes!

The new eye installation process is a complete and total success with nothing of note even worth getting on camera. So here we are, I just go straight to testing my new super eyes on Kelli, and I can see that she has a dick under what apparently was a "gurl suit" which um I gotta be honest here, yeah her gurl suit was pretty damn fat but I never mentioned that part because I don't SEE fat or skinny like all'yall do. Ugh. Dang.

Well, now I know Kelli's a dude in a fat suit complete with a fully irrigated vagimibobber. Not sure how to take that. Fuck it, I ask the first question that pops into my head!

Hey I can totally see yer dong. Wanna just take it out n' fuck my ass whole?

Kelli: "You know it babe."

She strips off her 200lbs fat suit and emerges as a hunk of a man, all glistening n' sculpted! YOW YOW YOWWW! OWWW!!! HAWT! Well yeah think about it... he went days if not weeks if not months if not years (how can we ever know how long really?) in that big ass fat suit just sweating and getting lean and toned. Mmmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmmmmm! Just wait till you see his naked pictures! See ya next time!

And that's when the scene just switches over to a vibrant backdrop of scatbear eating a malformed shit filled condom that's bursting at the sides. This sexy image remains in the background while a little cut out picture of me appears in the middle of the screen, naked and fully aroused. It's obvious what time it is. Time for me to address Jim Jimson and R. L. Edgar, who I am booked into a 3way orgy with on the next Savage.

Mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm! Hiiiiiiiii-IIIIIIIIIII-iiiiiiiiii-IIIIIIIIIII!!!!! Hey Jim Jim Cool Jimson! It's me! Sarah!

Well then again my name may really be Greggo Lacklan, which we all know 2 be true af rn... but oddly enough my first name ain't ever been Sarah! LOL! Jokes on you bub. Orgasms don't have names.

Can I ask you an intimidating question, Hot Boy Jim? How did it feel when I let you make sweet love to me with your mouth and anus and cock and balls, while I wore a clever disguise? Good? Great? Better than great? I'm out to prove that Jim Jimson and Cool Jim are two in the same. You herd me. 2 and teh siam! But more impotently is the fact that a Jim by any name, a Jim by any body. A jim by anybody. Anyjim. Jimbody. Anyjimdickinmyassfeelsrealgood.Andmakesmecumalloverthewalls. Cut the cute stuff and just set up our next date. It was me Jim. It was me. BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Under the wig. In yer stupid RP (recorded promo) the other day. IT WAS MEEEEEEE!!!! I took yer V card bitchtits! Boff'a'dem! Yea bub I got em both and now you got like 9000 diseasums. Oops!?

Now I gotta trash talk R. L. Edgar some. Well shucks, I don't rightly know if I got anything to say about that boi. I mean I assume it's a boi. Could be a grown man HAHAHA just kidding not here in XWF. It's a boi. I didn't just have sexytime w/him the other day tho, so it's not the same as Jim. What should I say about some jobber? The lust just ain't there mate.

So hey, Edgar! How'd ya like to get to........ know meh? N' by that I mean real intermint like. Let's get intermint. Mmmmmm, I loooove me some mint with my cock n' balls. Edgar, can you deliver like Jim Jim Jim Jim and Jim did? Can you be the first Edgar I have sexeh relations of some shitty sort with? Can ya boi? Well can ya? Then show me. Place those lips where Jim had his. Place those ass cheeks where NO sun dares to shine any damn day of the week boi. Come sit on Greggo's knee n' let's make Cool Jim jealous. Let's do it.

Jim, let's gang up on Edgar during the match and kill him and let stray dogs have sex with his body ok? Lemme know if yer down.

And with that I'ma go get naked and f... oh! Oh! OH! WAIT!

FUCK! I ALMOST FERGOTTUMS!!!!!!

Shit how could it slip my mind that this be A TIME OF GIVING!

A TIME TO GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOH'GGY! Yeee'HAW!

This is the special whackadong holiday episode of Savagery. Fook yeah Jim! Heck jizzle my nizzle R. L.! That means present time!

And you betteh believe yer boi is in the giving spirit. Now what oh what will MY GIFT be for both of you in our match? I get to name ANY F'N THING in the whole wide werld! Anything! Or any1! That's right I'm making it official right here and right now.

My gift to you both.

Live and in the flesh.

Or maybe, the complete opposite of those things. But still present!

As in, THE ULTIMATE PRESENT!



And that's when a present appears on screen.




Just one present? For two people? I guess Jimson and Edgar have to share.


Don't be greedy, bois! Yeeeeheeeheheheehee! I'm so giddy! I'm like a school girl with no talent who just fucked her way to an A+ in 3rd grade! What? But yeah I'm marking tf out rn.


Because look who's in the box! HAHAHA! LOOK WHO'S IN THE BOX!!!!!!



The box begins to shake, rattle and spin.



It finally rolls, causing something to come plopping out of it and OH MY GOD!




OH MY GOD!




OH MY GOD!




IT'S HER!




IT'S HER!!!!!!
































HOGM! Holy f'n shitballs from the most unwashed balls of hell! It's mother fucking HEAD OF GILMOUR'S MOTHER!

HOGM is back!!!!!

"Yer looking good, gurl. Reeeeal good."

Haha omfg I'm so fucked in the head. I'm already getting ideas over here.

I mean... dammit you can't hold that against me! She's literally a floating head! She's ALL HEAD! With a bonus hole where the neck used to I guess connect to some body somewhere or something. How could I not have a chubby rn? You'd be just as hard, bois. JUST as hard.

HOGM rises up to eye level with me. Yup, she still floats like a boss up in this bitch. She speaks!

"Hi Greggo. What do you want?"

"I'm giving you to Jim and Edgar as a gift. You know the rest."

"I fly around, chasing them all over the arena, biting at their flesh and occasionally trying to decapitate them so that little ol' me might have the honour of taking over one of their bodies as my own? Oh and bonus points for chomping off any dicks or balls right?"

"Yyyyyyyyyyyy-UP! You got it, chica! Gimme five!"

She doesn't appreciate the joke, so she chases me around until she catches me and is able to shove a big f'n dildo up my ass. This is going to be a beautiful partnership. Get ready Jimmy and R.L.dickwad! HOGM as gnawing at my f'n face as we speak and I dunno wtf to even do about it! LMFAO! Fuck me!

C'mere sonny we got a lot of time to practice before the show.


She's floating around after me as I run for cover. Her tongue is ALL over the place dude. WTF. How's it getting that long?


Anyway I just go hide in the bathroom and beat off because I wasn't tryin' to train today.


Later, she tries to make it up to me by buying me a new Christmas sweater! I really like it. What do you guys think? Should I wear this to Savage and give Jimmy n' Eddy something to sucky sucky?




Finally this lousy ass f'n excuse for an RP (recorded promo) comes to an end. I got shit to do eat.