I have broken out. OUT

That mentoring troubled teen stuff sounded good in theory.

Wait

No it didn’t

The video was funny.

Short term gratification manifests into long term regret.

So, here THE WIZARD is

Sneaking away from this troubleD youTH thing. He’s traveling on foot for some more philanthropic stuff. He arrives.

“YOU,RE SANTA”

Some guy yells. For, I dunno, reasons.

The Wizard complies. Why would he argue? It’s not within his magical DNA. So, The Wizard is Santa.

He puts the shit on.

PUTS IT ON.

He sits down and says a hearty 'HEAUX HEAUX HOUGH’

A trail of old people look his way.

WHAT DU FUCK

OLD PEOPLE?

Yes, old people.

He’s playing Santa at an old person’s home...or whatever deh fuck you wanna call it. We call it HAPPY TRAILS.

Santa-Wizard is sitting there. He’s nervous. He’s unsure.

HE DOESN’T KNOW.

Old people walk up.

They sit on his lap.

Their bony behinds jabbing and stabbing his thigh.

He promised them stuff. Extra years. Cigs. Ya know, stuff.

Until.

He dropped acid.

And then...it got a little wild.

The lap seats started to gyrate.

IN THE BEAT.

RHYTHYM. IS THAT SPELLED CORRECTLY? DUNNO. I THINK SO

And so the erotic gyrations manifested into an all ouT frenzy. The nurses closed up. They left.

“I ain’t down with this shit” one was heard YELLING.

And the real party began. The Wizard, tripping balls, tore his santa outfit off to display his MUSCLES.

Hu rah ah ah ah I AM MUSCULAR

HE MIGHT HAVE SAID.

Wendel. The alpha old man wheeled up.

“Oh you think you’re hot stuff?”

HU RAH AH AH AH AH AH MY COCK IS MASSIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE

The Wizard announced.

Wendel eyed him. A stern eye.

“You want to take my spot as number one man in this place?” Wendel kinda asked and also kinda challenged.

HU RAH AH AH AH AH AH MY ANUS SMELLS LIKE BUTTERCREAM

The Wizard retorted.

“FINE” Wendel said. He unzipped his mghti pants “Suck on this, BITCH”

The Wizard did not hesitate. He dropped to his clean knees and sucked on Wendel’s catheter. He sucked

And sucked
And sucked

Until

A steady stream of urine hit him in the face.

He lapped it up.

Wendel, “You are truly worthy!!”

The Wizard, still trippin replied, “HU RAH HAH UAHHH!!!”

And this went on for awhile until The Wizard tripped EVER HARDER.

He lept to his feet and snapped Wendel’s neck.

Wendel had it coming.

Before snapping Wendel’s neck it’s rumored The Wizard yelled, “WENDEL!!!!”

RUMORED

The Wizard ran away butt naked, clicking his heels every 12 steps.

---

This is the cold promo portion.

I’m not cold. Rather warm, actually.

I don’t know who you three are. I actually can’t remember your names, tbh. I’m sure there are some consonants and a few vowels.

Good for you guys for really trying hard.

Best of luck.

My wine is running low.

Time for a refill.

KALAMAZOO!!!!