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Johnny Legend · (11-06-2020)

part two-hundred

*SIGH*

The scene opens up to a close up of Johnny Legend's sweaty face. Cat scratches, a bruise right eye, and a smudge of mustard on his left cheek; Johnny appears to be somewhat distraught. New opportunities have place themselves upon Johnny Legend's steps... SOMETHING AMAZING! SOMETHING BIG!!!!

...

Aww, let's just get to it... B.O.B. WANTS US!

"Can you get that out of my face?" Johnny asks, as he peeks over and behind the camera while sitting down.

The camera, which is now noticeably a camera phone, as Lucky raises it up and over himself, twiddling his whiskers with his free paw while admiring his sleek fur.. Coat? "Damn... I look good." Lucky mentions into the camera phone, "Oh, and I was talking to you, John. Who else? We're the only ones here right now!" Lucky spins the camera around, and we find out they are filming in a bathroom stall in some hotel out in Chicago, Illinois.

"Oh, BOB!" Johnny says with some glee. "THEY ACTUALLY WANT ME!?"

Lucky nods, "Of course, buddy. You're Johnny Legend! The King of... Uh... Well, you're good at... Uh... Wait.. Why do they want us?" Lucky spins the phone around to use it for the internet, leaving the camera on and showing Johnny Legend sitting on a toilet with his shirt off. Why is his shirt off when taking a shit? No idea. It just feels nice. I mean, you don't have to keep the shirt tucked between your pits when shitting. So you have free-roam. Johnny also sweats a ton when it comes to bowel movements. He use to force them back then, which would cause blood in the stool. Now. Now Johnny just let's it go with peace.. Yet.. He still sweats!?

...

Anyways, Johnny's face starts to go in a relax state, as HIS excrement escapes HIS tight butt-hole. SLAMMING that toilet. Another thing about Legend's shit. Plumbers always mentioned how hard and weighty his droppings were. So add that to the list of pros when B.O.B finally seals the deal with him.

"AH! FOUND IT!" Lucky swipes down, reading what B.O.B wants from Johnny in exchange for free B.O.B. shirts for life... And membership!

"Let's see. Let's seeeeeeee... Oh." Lucky continues to read. "Ah." He squeaks out. "EASY! You just have to help Bobbi win against Kieran Ovaltine aaaannnnd... Greggo."

"Oh... Oh my.." Johnny mutters, as his eyes start to close and his head tilts back; leaving his mouth wide open as he begins to snore.

"LEGEND!"

"LEGEND!"

"LEGEND!"

The scene cuts back to Lucky standing on Johnny Legend's legs, shaking him to wake up, as Johnny got a little too relax on the toilet and took a nap. That, and he really doesn't want to touch Greggo. Even he skeeves Johnny out... And Johnny creeps on his step-sisters from time to time.

"Hu.. Huh?" Johnny finally wakes from his poop-nap. "What. Where am I?" Johnny asks, as his eyes dart around, trying to figure out his surroundings.

Lucky slaps Johnny in the face, "WAKE UP!" And continues.. "Quit that!" Johnny shoves Lucky off his lap and wipes his face, smearing the mustard around his cheek.

Looking up at Johnny, "Listen, Johnny. This shit is easy. All ya gotta do is just help Bobby Bourbon win. As if he needs any help. That pile of man-meat has been demolishing everyone in sight!" Lucky hops around Johnny's legs with the good news for him.

"That's it!? I mean, you said it yourself. That guy is gonna destroy those two! THIS IS GONNA BE A PIECE OF CAKE!" Johnny jumps up and off his porcelain throne; reinvigorate with a chance at cake. I mean FRIENDS! Something he has been crying about ever since joining XWF. And now, this is his chance! Just like the time those kids back in the day when Johnny was a little lad, they all needed that kid in the group to do the dirty stuff. Eat worms. Boogers from under bus stop seats. The popcorn on the movie theater floor. All the things kids do to make friends!

"They are gonna love me!" Johnny yells, standing in the bathroom stall, with his nuts touching the ground. Lucky's eyes widen at the sight and amazement of Legend's balls and their elasticity. "You should probably drink more water, buddy."

"Huh? Where did we go now? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?" Johnny finds himself riding a bicycle, he swerves around a bit, as if he just snap out of some daze. Almost crashing into a baby-stroller, "MY BABY!" Johnny grips the handlebars tight and smacks instead, into a pile of garbage.

SMASH SOUND!

Sitting on his ass, holding his head, Johnny's pupils grow from the pacusssion,.. Cacusision.. Concussion.

"Wmbag Sfghn?"

"Huh?" Johnny doesn't understand Lucky at this time. Please call again.

A young Johnny Legend appears from behind a blue curtain, wearing a flashy pair of tights with his name down the sides. Clean and built. Johnny Legend stands with his chin high and the thick, full head of beautiful blonde hair; tied up in a pony-tail.

A smirk across his face, "Atara Themis. You're just some betty that got this match because you look fly, and some nerd back there thought they can get with ya if they give you this bitchin match with yours truly. All of Legend's matches are dope and hella bodacious. It's rad. It's LEGENDARY!"

Johnny points at himself, "If you didn't know this by now.. I'M THE BEST THERE IS IN THAT RING!"

"I don't care if you're a woman or not, Atara. I'm gonna treat you like these wastoids in the crowd!" Johnny flexes to the boos of a dead crowd.

"These blockheads that think some ditz will overcome Johnny Legend!? Don't they know? I AM THE ULTIMATE DITZ! And if anyone out there, like say, they call themselves Morf... Thinking they can be the forgotten hero here in XWF! NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY! Just like no one can take golden showers away from Golden Boy!"

Johnny laughs in a deep and disturbing tone over a really dumb joke about pissing on people for pleasure.

So he continues to laugh...

And laugh..

The camera gets closer to his face, as Legend's eyes begin to bulge out of their sockets from laughing too much. Sweat pours down his face as pictures of Atara fill his head.

[Image: b46ed1bdac4c2461ba7a75142c9dcaf5.gif]

"JOHNNY!" Lucky slaps Johnny Legend once more to wake him. "WAKE UP!"

Pale as the moon, Johnny heaves over the toilet as Lucky dances around behind him.

"What was in that hot dog!?" Johnny spews brown chunks all over the toilet, with only a few pieces making it inside.

"I told you to quit eating things on bathroom floors." Lucky stops dancing, his eyes focusing on Legend as he continues to puke.

"It's not that. Whenever I think about Atara. Greggo appears in my head...His wet belly makes me.. Mak.." Johnny's mouth opens wide as brown water flows by. HEY! THAT RHYTHMS!

Johnny turns and stares deeply into the camera, as this is the moment you realize he uses this shot way too often at the end of each promo, "Now.. Everyone in XWF... Can you handle your biggest loser... IN... B.O.B.!?!?!?!?!?!" He thumbs himself... In a good way.

"THEY ARE GREAT!"

"I mean, only good people want their new friend to attacking others. That's just basic. I attack people for B.O.B. and B.O.B. helps me finally destroy all Jim's on this planet... INCLUDING JAMES!" Johnny laughs as he hovers over the toilet. Staring at the leftover brown chunks, mixing with blood or hot sauce upchuck, Johnny smiles and says, "My list keeps building, Lucky. All will come to plan. These Blockheads think I'm dumb dumb. But I'm smart smart. Soon I will run B.O.B.! Then Thunder Knuckles will HAVE to tell me who styles his hair!" Johnny clinches his fist at the toilet while Lucky rubs his head in confusion.

"Are you alright?" Lucky asks.

Johnny drops to his knees, still head over the toilet, with his eyes darting side to side... "How long before they sacrifice me?" He asks Lucky, with spit running down the side of his mouth.

"Probably after Bobby's match." Lucky replies with sarcasm?

"Good. Good. I'm fucking miserable."

Lucky pats Johnny on the back, "I know." He sighs, "I know."

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Finally, a woMAN.
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