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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » High Stakes Battle Royale RP Board
RP 2
Author Message
Prof. Bobby Bourbon Offline
Mad Scientist



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
10-29-2020, 12:06 AM



Bobby Bourbon, Warfare MVP and Hart Champion.

What the fuck have you done lately?

RP 2

Hey guys.

Bobby here again.

So, I just powerbombed a four-hundred and twenty pound dude into a casket.

Pretty sure every one of you that's entered the Battle Royale can get thrown out of the fucking ring. That's the plan, Stan.

But, there are a few faces I've seen here that, well, I'm going to definitely throw from the ring.

For starters, there's James Evans.

I'm sorry to hear your drunken dad liked to abuse you.

That's just fucking awful.

That has nothing on the fucking pain I will make you experience.

I don't give a shit about your past.

I don't give a shit about your baggage.

What's important is what you fucking bring to the table at High Stakes. Thing is, you're just stepping to the table without enough chips to keep up.

I mean, you might be good, but I'm proven to be a phenom from time to time around here.

I won the Hart Championship in under five minutes.

I did so by putting a human body through the ring.

I defended the Hart Championship and Warfare MVP by powerbombing someone who weighs twice as much as you do out of the ring.

You might have something in you, you might be talented, you might be throwing a huge swerve into the mix that, well, who could judge that negatively?

Robbie winks.

Thing is, I've been doing that for a long while.

I'm seasoned, strong, and mean, like a plate of wings in Carolina Reaper sauce. Too hot to handle, too spicy for the palette and too smoky to be seen. I'm a sneaky veteran you just seem plain green. Now, I get it if you didn't account for me.

Stupid motherfuckers discount me on the regular.

Instead you come claiming to want to dive into the deep end when you haven't even gotten your feet wet.

You've done yourself a bother.

You seemed so preoccupied by showing people you could swim you didn't even scratch the surface of the water, and in the depths those who hunt came to eat.

So, yeah, you look cute with your fucking floaties on and your snorkel popping out of the pool to prove you can last in the pool.

You'll last as long as Corey, who has given you way too much credence.

Hiya, Corey!

I've been busting my ass doing work and taking names while you went and sulked and took your summer vacay!

I see you're not back as the Engineer nor are associated with Shane. Welp, looks like the Engineer needed to reinvent himself again.

Good luck, sport! Maybe you'll find a self image you can fucking live with that doesn't need to go through a complete alteration because even you got bored with yourself.

Fuck, Shawn Warstein might enter this Battle Royale! It's like he's the Dawn to your grease in the Dawn commercials! He gets dropped into the mix, and boop, you scamper off to the edge of the water looking for something to cling to.

Shane didn't help? Damn. Surprise there.

So, look, I'll cut to the chase.

There's zero reason you should be Universal Champion.

I mean, I'm the Hart Champion. Also a little undefeated for a couple months now on Warfare.

You're coming back around like a fucking deadbeat dad with a lame Christmas present that's the best a Dollar General has to offer.


Damn. The silence after that one echoes.

Convince us all, Corey, that it'll be different this time. The black goop you used as a fucking prop while Shane waved his dick around is gone, but it's still the same body behind the story. The same moves, the same match flow, the same motions, the same muscle memory.

A muscle memory I have down pat.

Do you remember me or not?

Bobby holds up the Hart Championship belt.

Do you remember when you fucked me out of this then went off to defend your title against Ned Kaye?

Ooh, fuck.

Where the fuck is Ned Kaye? This dopey shit stepped in and said 'no, Robbie Bourbon, you can't challenge for the Universal Championship, I will challenge for it! I deserve it, because I'm ultimately going to fucking jizz in my pants fucking it up so hard and just hand the title to a dude who doesn't even work here anymore.'

Fuck, Ned, that guy didn't even give you a return match.

And I believe in Ned Kaye more than I fucking do Corey at this point. At least we can count on Ned for something.

Last but not least is Louis.

Bobby shakes his head 'no' and glares at the camera.

Well, maybe the least these days.

You went limp dicked on us, old man.

Soft.

Louis D'Ville is as hard as an uncooked sausage.

It's sad to see a man defanged, declawed, and demotivating as you. Really, you put the 'former' in former these days. I can't fucking understate that enough, you used to be the foremost monster in the whole world of wrestling, but now there's me. When I saw myself surpass you, Doc, as the thing people were most afraid of, the monster people didn't want to wake up, I gotta admit, I was heartbroken.

Heartbroken!

I didn't feel honored. I didn't feel dignified! I didn't feel pride or joy.

My heart sank, knowing what once was the greatest terror this federation has ever seen became a piece of memorabilia in the back seat.


Fuck. More echoing silence.

Thing is, fellas, none of you put in a day of fucking work in the XWF until you heard about this here battle royale at High Stakes, because none of you wanted to fucking work for a shot at the Universal Championship, you wanted to see if you had an easy route. Welp...

Bobby points at himself.

...looks like there's something blocking the way!

Pick a name. Pick among each other. Whose dick do I feed to first?

[Image: DtUCPfZ.png]
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[-] The following 10 users Like Prof. Bobby Bourbon's post:
Atara Raven (10-29-2020), B.O.B. D (10-29-2020), Barney Green (10-29-2020), Charlie Nickles (10-29-2020), Corey Smith (11-05-2020), Doctor Louis D'Ville (10-29-2020), HeavensToBetsy (11-19-2020), Johnny Legend (11-06-2020), Marf (10-29-2020), Thunder Knuckles™ (10-29-2020)




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