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The Brothers Blackwater · (11-05-2020)

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"Well, it seems I am slated to face Mr. Chronic Chris Page, isn't that special? Isn't that just punch your balls off amazing?!?! I mean, I don't want to sound like a crazy, crackpot, conspiracy theorist here, but that is some kinda insane luck of the draw, right there. The coincidence level is to the max, on this here match. Stuff like that doesn't just happen either. Not to my knowledge, anyway."

"Haha! Damn. Pardon the tin foil hat for a second... and I'm not just saying that because hats don't work for me. Cause that information is simply... not... true. I'm absolutely gorgeous. A real living Adonis. Perfection incarnate. Everything looks amazing on me. I could leave my house covered in filth, whilst simultaneously wearing an old, threadbare, potato sack and be totally barefoot, reeking of wet garbage, on a hot summer night and folks would still have their jaws drop and be struck in awe. That's how damn good looking I am. It's both a gift and a curse."

"Anyways, back to my conspiracy theory, isn't it funny that after I make it a point to appear on camera, in honor of Thunder Knuckles, stating... in so many words, Thunder Knuckles would win his match against CCP, The very first time that I take the initiative to partake in a contest of combat - in like a minute, Ol' Chrissy is shuffled into my match. That's weird, right? Right?"

"Also, you all know who I specifically, place the blame for that happening on... because it was so totes, obviously booked like that by someone, correct? You guys know the answer to that, right? Theo Pryce. That man has always had it out for me. Frickin' green eyed monster is what he is... I suppose he has somewhat of a just cause though... it's because I'm so ridiculously attractive. Not to mention my award winning charm, wit, sense of style, intelligence, class and wealth. Sure, he's fairly wealthy but compared to my vast fortunes, he might as well be a vagabond, wandering around, lost in the streets, panhandling for spare change. I am literally the perfect package. And I make it look easy,"

"I don't need to wrestle to make ends meet, I wrestle because I enjoy the sport, it's a stress reliever, it's fun for me and I look good doing it. When I'm in that ring, you best believe, all eyes are on me and I'm well versed in the fine art of combat. I don't even need to be victorious every time and I take frequent breaks and the masses still chant my name."

"Meanwhile, Theo Pryce has become a paper pushing, relic from the past.... a shadow, a gosh darn ghost for crying out loud, and he's not even that old. It's mind boggling. What happened to him to make that occur? Who wronged this man to make such a thing happen? Did someone violate him in some way or form? Whatever went down, it very clearly damaged him in drastic proportions, on top of that the years have not been kind to him... at all. Compared to a fine male specimen, such as myself, he has the appearance of a haggard, old, torn down, disheveled, battleaxe. I bet he gets his suits from The Men's Warehouse or some sort of discount outlet mall. Everything is all out of season and definitely nothing is custom fit or even remotely sized properly. I know for a fact I've seen him on several occasions and his shoes weren't even polished and one time, I swear he was wearing, old man loafers. Old man loafers. I wouldn't be caught dead in that state, it's the best of the best for me and I deserve nothing less. Sometimes I don't even wear the same suit twice, it's one and done for me. So when he arrives at work and sees me, that jealousy comes pouring out in both his attitude and actions."

"Geez. I'm sorry Theo. It's not my fault that you let yourself go like that and carry yourself so poorly. Have some self respect at lease and don't take out your butthurt, baby emotions, on me. You have the power to clean yourself up and make yourself somewhat presentable, I don't have any control over what you do or the lack of effort you put forth. It's not my fault that I can roll out of bed and look stunning. Some folks are merely blessed with fantastic looks. It's got something to do with my genetics and phenomenal bone structure. Beyond that I take things one step further and I go out of my way to prepare for the day, I will use several different products in my hair but I do that because I want to use them, I don't NEED them. Alright, I think I established my point accurately. Theo Pryce is a vindictive, jealous, monster and he needs to be stopped."

"With that being said, I don't even mind that I was thrown into a match with CCP. In fact, I welcome this fight. I embrace it. Thoroughly and completely. Do you hear that Chris Page, I walk into battle with open arms, ready and willing. I accept this scheduled bout and I cherish it. Because I get to beat the shit out of you. I get the privilege of utterly dismantling you in the center of the squared circle. And I will destroy you. This I promise you. I don't even care about winning, I merely want to inflict the most amount of damage to you, as I can possibly inflict. Totally wreck a savage sum of carnage upon you and make you suffer. When I'm through with you, you will know pain, the full fucking definition of it. Just a sheer amount of intense bodily harm."

"That is my goal for you. It'll be sweet. So sweet. You deserve nothing less, Chris. Nothing. Less. You will be rendered into nothing more than a broken, bloody mess. I will not kill you though. No sir, that fate is far too good for you and I want you to feel every bit of your long and painful recovery process. Every agonizing second of it. I'll look marvelous beating the crap out of you too, which is far from how you'll appear, when the match ends. If you manage to still beat me and claim victory, after everything that I do to you, you are going to have to go through hell to get it and the scars you will receive are going to be lasting ones. We're talking permanent and every time I see you after that, it'll bring back the memories and I'll smile. Cause that'll be awesome. Witnessing you hobble around with a limp, will simply brighten my day."

"Now you may wonder why your pain is my pleasure. All this malicious talk of violence, it's so uncharacteristic of me, isn't it? Yes, I have spoken of the massive amount of brutality, I aimed to inflict on my past adversaries and mentioned my intentions for the forthcoming fray, during my previous promos but if you notice.... or maybe you don't, I don't know nor do I care. Either way, I am going to tell you and explain myself. My reasoning is quite simplistic, really. There is no reason. This is a random whim. Yeah, I'm trying something new out. Attempting to be darker, grittier and edgier because... why not? Usually I'd turn on a camera and goof off or say a random joke but this time, I thought lets be dark and serious for a change. Most individuals tend to take me, over seriously anyway, so why not come out and be serious, right?"

"What do you think? How did I do? I... for one, gave myself goosebumps. I got the chills. It feels like the room dropped twenty degrees in temperature. Seriously. On the realz. Of course, I ruined everything by mentioning what I was doing but... meh, whatever. That's the way it goes. It's kind of hard; for me, to maintain that cold, methodical, composure. Nathaniel Idenhaus, I am not. That man must have ice water running through his veins, twenty-four/seven. That's way too much intensity for me to handle. You probably know all about that. You seem like a 'no nonsense' type of fellow. Not as severe as Nathaniel or Sebastian Duke but still fairly somber."

"I don't think Duke even knows how to laugh. It's a foreign concept to him. Same thing with smiling. I seen him try to smile once and it looked like he was having a difficult time to pass gas, coupled with swallowing a bad taste in his mouth, mixed with being hit with some kind of intestinal pain. It was unpleasant and uncomfortable and you could tell, the process didn't sit right with him. Something was off, y'know? I felt bad for the guy. It was as if he was suffering from terrible pain or tribulation. He was in peril. At the time, it was also sorta like a car wreck, I could not look away. My eyes were glued on Duke, standing there, trying to smile. I'm not sure what he was doing, standing in the hall of the main XWF headquarters, attempting to smile at me but it happened."

"Observing this strange scenario, made me feel weird and awkward as well and when that happens, I start to nervously laugh. So to view all of this occur, to be a fly on the wall for the entire situation, must have been an experience. It was only the two of us in the hall too. Finally I up and fled the scene. I didn't know what to say either and I also didn't want to make Sebastian feel bad, so I declared the words ''Pineapple Emergency!' - out loud and bolted. I ran like I was fleeing for my life. Like there was a fire. I'm surprised I didn't knock Duke over. I don't even know what a Pineapple Emergency would entail but I yelled it and then, I was gone. Made it out of the building in two minutes, tops and the main XWF headquarters, is a big fucking place too but I did it. Was all out of breath and shit, when I got outside. My wife called me and she thought I was under some kind of attack or a disaster was going down. I was able to compose myself after a couple of minutes though and calmly explain, that I was running from Sebastian Duke. "

"Which in hindsight sounds super dramatic and makes it seem like he was in pursuit of me and wanted to kick my ass. All the man was doing was trying to smile at me. However, that's still odd. Why did he do that? What do you think Chris, I'm curious on what your opinion on the matter is.... that might help me to derive a better understanding cause the full set of circumstances, was hella peculiar. I realize that everything I explained puts the kibosh on my serious, dark, brooding act but rest assured, I will live up to everything I told you. All my threats will happen and you have my word on that. A man is nothing, if he can't live up to his word. You don't need to fret about that from me. If I say I'm going to do something, it gets done."

"Anyhow, that's all I got for now. Till next time, Christopher... so long and farewell."

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