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EDWARD THE GREAT · (10-02-2020)

EDWARD NOT SO SURE ABOUT THIS! He said from off-camera.

About what!? TK asked, standing on the other side of the changing curtain. The costume? TK shrugged, Who cares? It’s just for one match!

BUT EDWARD LOOK STUPID! He said before walking into view wearing a cheap and ill-fitting pirate costume from a local Halloween shop.

You look fucking brilliant! This gimmicks going to get over great!

BUT EDWARD NOT KNOW HOW TO BE PIRATE! He pleaded, but Thunder Knuckles wasn't hearing it.

Just wave that fucking hook around and talk about shiny, you'll do great! TK assured him with a toothy grin.

I DON'T KNOW...

Listen, motherfucker! You put yourself into this mess! Tk Snapped as EDWARD cowered. You don't like the gimmick? Tough shit! I've already invested too many bux getting this awesome graphic done up! he said as the marketing graphic for EDWARDS new gimmick fills the screen for a moment before fading out.

[Image: EDWARDPIRATE.jpg]

Now get your ass over there and introduce yourself to the fucking fans already! He said as he pointed towards the camera.

HELLO I'M EDWARD AND I'M A PIRATE NOW! Edward began to wave his hook around menacingly, or no, the opposite of that.

No! No! NO! TK shouted as he stormed up to EDWARD. What the fuck are you doing, huh? TK leaned in close as EDWARD cowered away from him. Are you trying to make me look fucking stupid!?

EDWARD DO WHAT YOU SAID! He pleaded.

I didn't tell you to act like a fucking

did I!? He asked rhetorically. Because you're acting like a fucking

! He snapped. Just tell these motherfuckers what's up, and try to look menacing! He commanded as he pointed EDWARD back toward the camera.

EDWARD took a deep breath before stumbling back to the camera.

Oh yeah, say ARRGH, pirates always say ARRGH! TK encouraged.

EDWARD nodded before facing the camera for his second attempt.

ARRRRRRGH EDWARD PIRATE NOW! EDWARD EVEN GOT NEW PIRATE NAME TO FIT GIMMICK!

EDWARD THE GREAT!

EDWARD ALREADY GREAT BEFORE EDWARD BECOME PIRATE BECAUSE EDWARD GREAT WARRIOR! THAT WHY EDWARD DECIDE TO ENTER SAVAGE BATTLE ROYAL TO EARN SHOT AT TV TITLE. THAT AND BECAUSE THUNDER KNUCKLE SAY HE PAY EDWARD 500 XBUX TO ENTER BATTLE ROYALE AND IF EDWARD WIN, EDWARD CHALLENGE TK FOR THE TV TITLE INSTEAD OF THE OTHER BELT. EDWARD AGREE BECAUSE EDWARD ONLY HAVE 26 XBUX. OH EDWARD NOT ONLY PIRATE, BUT EDWARD LEARN HOW TO MATH WHILE EDWARD AWAY!

Yeah yeah, you can count, congratu-fucking-lations, next you're going to tell us how you want to spend that fucking money to buy a new hand. NOBODY CARES! Now get on to the ass whipping part shit head!

ACTUALLY EDWARD USE MONEY TO BY RUBY-OHS! He said mater-o-factly.

TK was instantly filled with rage and slapped the shit out of EDWARD, but EDWARD being as tough as he is, did not flinch in the slightest.

WHY LITTLE MAN HIT EDWARD!? He demanded as he suddenly reversed their rolls and TK backed off.

Just don't promote products from BOBs enemies, okay?... He asked with a nervous break in his voice.

EDWARD NOT SO SURE EDWARD WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! MAYBE EDWARD WIN TITLE AND CHALLENGE FAT MAN TO REAL MATCH! He said as he leaned over TK, almost dwarfing him.

Hey hey, let's not get carried away Edward. He pleaded as he tried to back EDWARD off. How about I double your pay and we forget about this incident between us?

TRIPLE! He demanded.

Deal! He said, relieved as the presumed caveman backed down. Can we just finish the promo now?

EDWARD COMING TO THIS BATTLE ROYALE DRESSED AS PIRATE, BUT THAT NOT MEAN EDWARD NOT STILL BEST WARRIOR IN WORLD! ROBBIE BOURBON THINK HE STRONGER WARRIOR THAN EDWARD?

FAT CHANCE! He said, which caused TK to burst out laughing.

That was actually pretty fucking good delivery Edward! TK said, noticeably surprised. But he's on our team!

OH... WELL EDWARD HELP ROBBIE BOURBON DESTROY MICKAL GRAVE AND WIN BATTLE ROYALE FOR BOB!

It's Micheal Graves, and he's on our team too, so don't fight Mikey! TK said.

OH... WELL EDWARD GUESS THAT EDWARD TEAM WITH MY-KAY-ALE GRAVES AND ROBBIE BOURBON AND BEAT UP ANYONE STUPID ENOUGH TO ENTER KNOWING THAT WE ARE WORKING TOGETHER!

Fucking right, so far BOB has this shit on lock, but you just know there's that one STUPID MOTHERFUCKER who's thinks he can beat the odds. Fuck you, you can't! Say the fucking line EDWARD!

JOIN BOB!

Fucking right, Join BOB bitches!

IS EDWARD IN BOB NOW?

TK shrugs. I dunno, maybe I can get you deputized for this match?

WHAT THAT MEAN? EDWARD asks, genuinely not understanding.

TEMPORARY!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode ARRRGGH MEE MATES EDWARD PIRATE NOW!
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