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Kenzi Grey · (09-13-2020)

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It was time for another edition of Grey Matter after a VERY eventful week for the show’s host. This episode was being broadcast LIVE from the EconoLodge in Cedar Rapids, Iowa…and the Universal [World] Champion was none too happy about it.

“ECONOLODGE? REALLY, BELOVED?! These aren’t even living conditions fit for the likes of a stupid Trash Panda!”

A fleeting glance of a highly annoyed and half-dressed Sarah Lacklan could be seen walking into the bathroom and slamming the door behind her. The camera swiveled around and centered on the still bruised face of The Face of Anarchy, Kenzi Grey.

“It has been one seriously busy week for me! I know that a lot of you guys that follow me already know about everything, but just in case you missed anything…let’s touch on a few of the bigger ones, shall we?”

“This past Thursday night, the DICTATOR of Anarchy, Vinnie Lane thought it would be a good idea to have me compete in a match surrounded by hungry tigers against my good friend Boris!” She rolled her eyes, “All part of some stupid plan of his to give me a…” She made classic air quotes, ”…education in X-Treme! As if I need to be educated on anything by a man that thinks that 31 seconds with a woman is just as good or better than 30!” Kenzi took a breath, and shook her head. ”It’s fine, because the cream always rises to the top, and I am the creamiest person on Anarchy…period, point blank! Still…there were more than a few bumps along the way…” The foreboding logo of Charlie Nickles was displayed.

“Before I could even get properly limbered up for my match, I was ruthlessly attacked by a man that I have had absolutely ZERO dealings with…” She turned on a replay of the heinous incident, for those that didn’t tune into Anarchy, the best fucking show on XWF.

Quote:Kenzi is seen walking out of the makeshift locker room as she readies herself for her match against Boris. She is hyping herself up, shadowboxing and walking towards the gorilla position. Out of nowhere we see Charlie Nickles burst onto the scene! He has his heavymetalweight championship belt in his hands as he charges at Kenzi from behind! He brings the heavy championship belt to the back of Kenzi's skull, cracking her in the head! She falls to the ground, her hands reflexively gripping the back of her skull. Charlie takes the opportunity to deliver some rough kicks to the woman's sides and stomach. She rolls over from the pain.

Charlie Nickles drops his championship belt onto the ground, silver up. He picks Kenzi up by her hair, spitting in her eyes as he brings her up to her feet. He punches her in the gut one time, forcing her to curl over in pain. Charlie brings his arms underneath Kenzi's shoulder blades. He locks in the Devil Hook Drop! He kicks Kenzi's wobbly feet out from under her as he brings her head slamming down onto the championship belt! Kenzi rolls over, her face and abdomen bruised from the assault. She moans in pain on the ground as Charlie retrieves his championship. The camera zooms in on Charlie as he puts the belt around his waist. He looks to the camera with a smirk and a wink before walking off into the horizon.

“Now…I think we can all guess what this was all about. Obviously, this is the typical tactic of sending a message to your perspective opponent by attacking someone close to them. I’ve been in the game a long time, and I have seen this a time or two…I have experienced it a time or three. It’s not my first rodeo, but can we all just stop and come to a consensus that this is pretty much hack?” She could only shrug her shoulders. “I mean, if you are going to do something to get your point across, put a little more thought and effort into it…strive to be original and not follow in the footsteps of those who came before you…blaze your own trail! That’s all I’m saying!” She paused as she added a shameless plug.

“For all your message and file sharing needs, consider using Digital Pigeon, it’s the number 23 best rated message sending system in the entire world! Exclusively endorsed by XWF Universal Champion, Sarah Selena Grey-Lacklan, Digital Pigeon will not only make you a better communicator, but it will also probably make you a future wrestling champion…” Slight pause, “…unless you’re Charlie Nickles…”

The image returned to The Face of Anarchy. “What Charlie did was to try to give my wife added motivation in their upcoming match at Relentless by ‘placing me in the refrigerator.’ This is a classic troupe that is done in cinema to give the typically male hero motivation to get revenge against a foe. It has the added benefit of killing off or otherwise sidelining the less important female character. This is known as ‘putting women in refrigerators.’ Well, I’m not a supporting cast member and I will not be fodder for anyone’s inability to use the world’s number 23 best rated message sending service!” She narrowed her eyes to vicious slits, “But more on that…a bit later. I still had a match to get through, in spite of the attempted fridging of The Face of Anarchy, and I had an ace up my sleeve!”

“Vinnie thought he was going to get the upper hand on me by putting me in a perilous situation with (wo)man-eating tigers, but as always…I was one step ahead of him! Joe Exotic told me what I had to do to become one with the tigers…and he also told me what Boris needed to do as well…” She paused with a look of regret on her face. “…Boris didn’t take my advice, but I really did try to help him.” She paused as she threw up another graphic. “OH! That reminds me!”

“If you or anyone you know has seen Carol Baskin, please call Crime Stoppers! She kidnapped Boris at the conclusion of our match, preventing him from earning an obvious draw against me. Boris was last heard from inside the trunk of a moving car, as I attempted to ascertain his location, via Twitter…”

Sounds like engine of car. She currently drives.

But she left bag of Doritos back here, so is not all bad.
— It's Boris! (@BreekiBoris) September 13, 2020

Kenzi looks sad as she silently prays for Boris’ safe return. After a moment of silence, she moved on, displaying a graphic for the surging ‘bOb’ faction.

”It was a BIG night on Anarchy as the Brotherhood of Baddies ran roughshod over their opposition…for the most part, and even captured the Anarchy Championship…but lets be completely honest, most everyone stopped watching the show after I successfully survived becoming the world’s most delicious tiger treat on my show…the best show…XWF Anarchy!” She gave another shrug. ”Everyone wants to be a part of this brand…and it is all because of me…the girl Charlie Nickles thought he could put in the refrigerator, then trot off to Savage without even so much as a single word…” The graphic turned to Saturday Night Savage…

”Well, as it turns out…Charlie aint the only one who can make appearances on other brands to send messages without using the world’s 23rd bestselling messenger service! Yes, I was in attendance at the Cellular Center to watch Charlie ‘The Trespasser’ Nickles battle Robert Main for the X-Treme Title.” Kenzi nodded. ”Of course, I could have been rude like Charlie and attacked him BEFORE his big match, but I’m not that kind of person. The fans were there to see a fair contest where Charlie would get an opportunity to compete for a championship…and I am all about giving the fans what they want. Of course, after it was apparent that Charlie wasn’t going to be equal to the task of unseating Robert for his title, he had to be given a preview of what it was like to be a loser in a championship title match…by my sweet baby…”

From off camera, Sarah could still be heard loudly complaining about their lodging accommodations.

“CALL DANI CHOW AND HAVE THAT ECONOLODGE ENDORSEMENT CONTRACT CANCELLED FIRST THING ON MONDAY! THESE CONDITIONS ARE SUBHUMAN, THIS SHAMPOO SMELLS LIKE DISH SOAP!”

Kenzi smiled deviously, not because the shampoo smelled like dish soap…it was definitely dish soap. Instead, she continued on.“My wife…executed her responsibilities as my spouse and protector when she gave Charlie his receipt for attempting to fridge me. It was a beautiful thing to see my wife savagely beat him just before they are scheduled to meet for her title at Relentless. Trust me, I have never been more proud and turned on by her fierce rage. It was well earned in my opinion and would have been a fitting end for any classic Hollywood blockbuster where the hero puts down the villain that fridged their wife…but alas, this movie wasn’t quite finished.”

The usually jocular Kenzi now seemed to be anything but. “I know that Charlie ended up in the hospital after the events of Saturday Night Savage. I viewed The Wrestling Observer report and I encourage anyone of you to cares, to please send him your thoughts and prayers…”

The Wrestling Observer
9/13/2020

“Here are mines…” Kenzi cleared her throat. “…Charlie, I’m sorry for your loss against Robert Main, but I can sit here secure in the knowledge that you were beaten by a better man in a completely fair contest, for which you can only blame yourself for your shortcoming. Unlike you, I was kind and considerate when I allowed you to go to the ring and put on the best show possible for our fans…well…at least for the one sweaty dude in the front row who thought you had a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, but I digress. You made a mistake when you came to my show uninvited and put your hands on me. Sarah sent you a message for that transgression, but I’m sure she’ll have much more to show you at Relentless. As for me? Well, what I did after your match was a kindness Charlie…it was just a little poke to let you and everyone else know that I’m not a woman in the fridge for anyone on Savage, or Warfare…and certainly on Anarchy! If you test me…I will break your fucking two-dollar ass and make change. That goes for everyone who thinks I’m just here to get a rub from or a little bit of heat off of. I hope you remember that…and I hope anyone else who’s as unimaginative as you remembers that. This was me being nice. I like being nice…please don’t make me not be nice, okay?”

Kenzi didn’t sign off, merely left the clip of her being ‘nice’ to Charlie Nickles playing for the enjoyment of the fans…

Quote: PC: An absolutely grueling X-Treme Rules match there! I can hardly believe it!

A worn down and battered Charlie Nickles rolls out of the ring and down to the floor, chest heaving as he attempts to catch his breath. He stumbles over to the Time Keeper’s Table to retrieve his Heavymetalweight Championship, but just as he reaches for it, the belt disappears over the edge of the table as if pulled under by some unseen hand.

HHL: What in the hell is going on Pip?

Charlies blinks, and looks at Nipsey Russell, who turns and looks down then suddenly leaps out of this chair, bounding over the table in a panic. Nipsey displays the agility of a man several decades his junior as he bowls into Charlie, who swats him away, sending him sprawling to the floor. Nipsey doesn’t stop, he continues crawling away, the color draining from his face.

PC: Something strange is happening! Nipsey really freaking out!

Charlie is perplexed, but that doesn’t stop him from going to reclaim his prize. He grabs the table and flips it over, only to recoil himself, nearly falling ass over tea kettle as his eyes grow as large as saucers. On the floor, a large tiger playfully licks the face of his championship. Charlie looks around for help, but everyone backs away, not wanting any part of what could be a man eater.

HHL: OH MY GOD! THAT’S A TIGER! A REAL LIVE TIGER!!

Charlie nervously scratches his beard, then decides to reach over and take the belt from the massive cat. As soon as he reaches for the belt, the cat snatches it up in its massive jaws and bolts under the ring with it. Charlie dives for the belt, catching the strap and holding on for dear life as he is pulled under the ring. His legs kick and flail as he pulls and manages to drag himself from under the ring, calling for help as he plays a deadly game of tug of war. For a moment it seems that no one will come, but finally someone does…an expert in the handling of Big Cats! Charlie looks up, his face falls as he realizes too late that he’s been had.

STOMP!!!

PC: OH MY GOD!

Charlie’s head recoils after smacking the concrete floor and Kenzi Grey stands over him, dressed in her Tiger King-Queen attire from Thursday Night Anarchy. Kenzi snatches off her blonde mullet and tosses it down onto the unmoving man. As the wig brushes against him, he flinches, then Kenzi backs up and…

STOMP!!!

HHL: AGAIN! SHE JUST STOMPED THE HEAVYMETALWEIGHT CHAMPION’S HEAD INTO THE FLOOR A SECOND TIME!

PC: This has to be a receipt for his appearance on Anarchy on Thursday night!

Again his head meets the floor with a sickening thud. Kenzi gives a vile grin as she retrieves a microphone and squats over Charlie, snapping her fingers as Tony the Tiger crawls from under the ring and lays the Heavymetalweight Championship at her feet. She strokes the cat’s fur as it licks at Charlie’s bloodied and bruised face.

Kenzi Grey: Heeeeeey Charlie Boy! I’m gonna be dead-ass with you bro, I have NO idea what your problem is, but to be honest…I don’t care. The shit you pulled at Anarchy could have cost me my match, so that’s all that matters. I’m The Face of Anarchy…a place of pure chaos where X-treme rules…

Kenzi pauses, her fingers playing lightly on the face of his championship as the wheels seemed to turn in her head.

Kenzi Grey: …maybe that is what Vinnie has been trying to teach me.

Kenzi puts the belt over Charlie’s head, disrupting Tony’s love affair with his face. She stands up, taking a few steps back.

PC: DON’T DO IT! NOT AGAIN!

HHL: WE NEED HELP DOWN HERE!

Help comes charging down, but the sight of the large tiger at her side gives them pause. Little Feather holds out his hands, imploring her to stop…but it’s too late.

Kenzi Grey: I can’t be The Face of Anarchy without willing to be X-treme, now can I?

STOMP!!!

Kenzi drives her foot down on the title and Charlie’s head a third time. The crowd gasps as Charlie Nickles is left quivering on the floor. She kneels over him, brushing the braids from her face.

Kenzi Grey: Don’t come to my house unannounced again…I probably won’t be this nice next time.

She smiles, malevolently as she brushes her fingers over his championship…pausing to tap the face of it before stepping over him and leading Tony away. Little Feather and his band of brave men give her and her tiger a wide berth as she walks back towards the entrance way.

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