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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
The Charlie Nickles Experience
Author Message
Charlie Nickles Offline
The Nickleman



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
09-01-2020, 10:37 PM

[Image: SP1nHEx.jpg]

Joe Rogan: Here we go….3, 2, 1. And we’re live. Charlie “The Family Man” Nickles. God damn, how are you bro?

Charlie: I’m good, I’m good. Thanks for having me.

Charlie and Joe Rogan are seated across from each other in Joe's podcast studio. Joe Rogan is wearing a generic looking gray t-shirt and blue jeans. Charlie has on a white dress shirt that goes down to his elbows and a skinny black tie. Joe Rogan's bald head stands as a dramatic foil to the hairy wrestler seated across the table from him.

Joe Rogan: These last few years you’ve done some crazy shit man. I don’t follow wrestling super closely but every couple of months one of my buddies would post an INSANE video of some dude being hung from his feet with barbed wire, or some guy being taped to the grill of a truck before being rammed into a wall! Fucking brutal! Do you ever feel bad about doing that shit?

Charlie: Tell me this, Joe, did you ever hear of me before you saw those videos?

Joe Rogan: Uhhh I don’t think so, no.

Charlie: Exactly. No one cared who I was before the violence. Winning clean, putting on a show, working my ass off. No one cared. But when the people at home saw a man bleeding, suffering, crying out in pain: they were hooked. That’s what the people crave. They want to watch another human being anguish in torment, all from the comforts of their living room. Violence is like a drug. It’s easy to get hooked, and the people always need more. I don’t feel bad about filling that need.

Joe Rogan: Do you think it’s a need? Do you think that society needs an outlet like professional wrestling, maybe so that the most violent of us can work through their issues while everyone else, I don’t know, vicariously gets out their rage and anger, by watching the violence unfold?

Charlie: America needs men like Charlie Nickles. But not because of any frilly shit like emotions or feelings. America needs men like Charlie Nickles to remind them that outside their air conditioned living room, monsters are real. Remind them that outside the comforts and privileges of their suburban life, demons still roam the streets. Life is far too easy for far too many. They don’t deserve it as good as they have it. But they watch on their little televisions, as other men take the beatings that they should be receiving. And they love it. Just another comfort of modern life.

Joe Rogan: But don’t you think now more than ever is a time for people to come together? We have a disease going around, we have civil unrest, aren’t we all Americans? Shouldn’t we be working to create more unity, not division and terror?

Charlie: We need to be spreading disunity now more than ever. People are buying into lies, fables. Myths. “We’re all in this together”, “we’re all one race”, “we’re a team”. Bull. Shit. We’re not in this together. I’m not in this with you, Joe. We may be sitting here, doing a podcast together, but you’re not in this with me. If I lose my job and have to live on the streets again, you’re not going to put me up in your place. Not in your L.A. manor, not in your New York condo, not in your Vegas apartment. If you drown in one of your pools, Joe, I’m not going to be there to save you. I’m not “in this” with you. And you’re not in it with me. We’re all rugged individuals, competing for table scraps. And some of us will starve. Right now? Well, right now it’s the monsters that are starving. The street urchins. The trick turners. But the comfortable, the privileged...we’re still coming for them. I won’t let them forget it.

Joe Rogan: That’s pretty sick stuff man. So what do you think of this whole COVID thing anyways? Do you think the numbers are real?

Charlie: A bunch of bullshit, only the sheep buy into it. The weak will die, the strong will survive.

Joe Rogan purses his lips together, but swallows the disagreement.

Joe Rogan: So I hear you got a pretty big match coming up? Jamie was just telling me that you have already been signed for a main event match.


Charlie: Damn right. It's about time the globalists over at XWF corporate saw the promise in Charlie. Biggest opportunity of my life: fighting for the MVP shield.

Joe Rogan: Shield? I think Jamie was showing me a video the other day and the guy had a medal..Jamie, can you pull it up?

Jamie: Yeah, lemme see here…

Joe Rogan: Is it a shield or a medal?

Charlie: I don’t fucking know, all I know is it’s mine.

Charlie shrugged disinterestedly as Jamie pulled up the video.

Smoking Bob Williams Said:"And now for the real reason I am out here. As you know at Leap of Fatih, Wednesday Night Warfare lost their signature title, the Hart Title to that other promotion. Although Vinnie Lane is still adamant that didn't happen, but until that is resolved the Hart Championship won't be on the line for the foreseeable future. We are just lucky that champions like Sarah have stepped up, and have decided to appear on Warfare and defend their titles.

"But that hasn't stopped me from introducing the unofficial title Wednesday Night Warfare Most Valuable Player to help keep things alive on Wednesday Nights and to keep everyone feeling competitive. So the rules again. Let's go over them quickly. The winner of tonight's Battle Royal will become the Wednesday Night Warfare Most Valuable Player. Or MVP. He or she then must defend it every Warfare, and PPV, to see how long, they can hold on to it, whether it be single matches, triple threats, fatal fourways, or whatever I decide to be the best going forward.

The winner will be the Ultimate MVP, and those who come after him or her will then try to break the record, and while they try to do that they will be known as just the regular Wednesday Night Warfare MVP. Sound simple? I hope so. And now to the moment that you have all been waiting for, what does this title look like?"

SBW places the briefcase down on the canvas, and unlocks it and takes out the newly looking MVP, which comes in the form of a shield. He holds it up for everyone to see. The crowd goes crazy.

Joe Rogan: Ok, so that is clearly a shield.

Jamie: Wait, here’s another video.

Wednesday Night Warfare Said:We cut backstage where we see Robbie Bourbon, his hands on his hips, the Warfare MVP Medallion hung around his neck by a length of chain. Next to him is Steve Sayors.

I am here with the MVP of Warfare, Robbie Bourbon, and...

Joe Rogan: Ok what the fuck? Did they just swap it out?

Jamie: Maybe he lost the shield and they wouldn’t pay to have it replaced.

Joe Rogan: So what the fuck is up with the shield or medallion thing?

Charlie: Who fucking cares? All that matters is that it’s going home with me, and my pay is going up.

Jamie: Maybe he got his ass beat in a bar like Shawn Michaels used to, and someone just took it. So they had to get it replaced.

Joe Rogan: Maybe. You might be onto something Jamie. What do you think, Charlie?

Charlie: Frankly, I don’t give a damn. The little trinket that comes with the accolade isn’t what I’m after. I don’t care if it’s a shield, a medallion, a ring, or an anal plug. All I care about is owning it. Having it in my possession. Taking photos with it, and licensing them on t-shirts and posters. Leveraging a better contract. Being the MVP is about a hell of a lot more than the trinket that comes with it.

Joe Rogan: What do you think it means to be the MVP? To be the best? To be the hardest worker on the show?

Charlie: Hard work gets you nowhere. Liam Roberts is one of the hardest workers in the X-treme Wrestling Federation. The fuck does he have to show for it? One win and a dozen ass whoopings? Hard work isn’t what it takes to be the MVP. Do you think it was hard work to kick Robbie in the dick? No! It was cheap! Easy! A short cut! Because it’s not about how hard you work. It’s not about how much you deserve it, it’s not about how over you are with the fans. At the end of the day, being the MVP is only about one thing: being the man that keeps everybody else on the show down. Being the man that strikes fear in the locker room. Being the man that doesn’t take no shit from anybody. That’s what it means to be the motherfucking MVP.

Joe Rogan: And what do you think of Robbie’s MVP streak so far? Have you been impressed?


Charlie: Fuck no. An MVP needs to be laying down the law. To be the MVP is to be the alpha, the top dog. And you have to prove it, week in and week out. I’ve been laying motherfuckers out since I came to the XWF. Dallas Marshall? Broken neck. He hasn't walked since I hit him with the screwdriver. Kris Von Bonn? He’s all but given up on his wrestling career. The pain has been unbearable for him: he hasn’t been cleared to wrestle since I hit him with the drop. And Reggie Estrada? He’s out for at least a month. His body is cut and bruised beyond recognition. I have been laying motherfuckers out like a real MVP ought to. And what is Robbie Bourbon, if not just another motherfucking waiting to be dropped? I am ending careers. I am ending lives in that ring. I am thinning the herd, like an MVP should. Truth be told, I’m the Warfare MVP in everything but name.

Jamie: And you powerbombed that cat looking motherfucker.

Charlie: And I powerbombed that cat looking motherfucker. Right through a fucking table. He hasn’t been seen since. He’s off hiding with his tail between his legs. I bet you he won’t even show up to the match. He knows what will happen to him if he does. I’ve been handing out ass whoopings left and right, leaving bitches crippled and depressed. But Robbie? Shit, Robbie’s last couple opponents walked out of that ring with no problem, on their own two feet. Thaddeus Duke is already moving up the card, fighting for a real belt. Just a few weeks after consecutive matches with Robbie. Think about that. It takes me five seconds to knock out a challenger for the MVP, one powerbomb through a table. But Robbie? He had two whole matches, two opportunities, to take out Duke. And he couldn’t do it. Did he win? Sure, but even Jim Jimson wins from time to time. To be the MVP you have to mutilate motherfuckers. And Robbie just isn’t up to snuff.

Joe Rogan: I saw that clip with him after your last match. That was a biiiiiiig dude. And you’re in the ring after your match, bloody as hell, sweaty, and he raised your hand. Then you just kicked him in the dick man! A kick to the dick! HaHa! And then BOOM! Big drop! Jamie see if you can pull that up. That was badass.

Charlie: Just a preview, just a little preview! You want to see how far it can really go? You gotta watch the match. I’m going to put that motherfucker out of the business just like I put Dallas Marshall out of the business.

Jamie: Ok, here we go.

Saturday Night Savage Said:Robbie raises Charlie's hand in the center of the ring. Shattered glass and blood stains fill the ring. Charlie brings his arm down and turns to face Robbie, extending a hand to him for a shake. Robbie shrugs and goes to accept the offer. The two shake hands with smiles on their faces. Then, out of nowhere, Charlie kicks him in the groin! Low blow! Robbie hunches over as he groans in pain. Charlie pulls Robbie in by the hand before immediately securing the DEVIL HOOK DROP (doublearm DDT). Robbie crashes first face into the shattered glass in the ring! Robbie's face lands on the mat with a sickening thud.

Charlie stands up after dropping the Warfare MVP, happy to bask in the boos of the crowd. With Robbie laying still on the mat, Charlie places his foot on the man's back before flexing his muscles. The boos from the crowd only grow in size.

Charlie's theme music hits once again as he exits the ring and walks back to the locker room, a devilish grin on his face the whole way.

Jamie, Joe, and Charlie watch the video and guffaw. Robbie’s bloody and bruised body serves the fodder for their jolly good time.

Joe Rogan: That’s fucking brutal man.

Charlie: That's nothing compared to what's coming to him tomorrow night. Everyone better tune in for the main event on Warfare if they're looking for some carnage and bloodshed. Except the kids, of course. And that includes you, Tyler and Emily!

Joe Rogan: Tyler and Emily, you kids. So tell me about your family, man. There’s been a lot in the news lately.

Charlie: What is there to say, Joe? My bitch ex-wife stole my kids. Took them right from me. I do everything for her. Pay her bills, put food on the table, teach my kids about the ways of the world. And that bitch just stole them from me. It’s because she’s vindictive. She wants revenge. She knows Emily and Tyler love me more. They love me more than they will ever love their whore mother. I am their father, and they love me more than life itself. But she can’t tolerate that, she’s a fucking bitch. You know how women are.

Joe Rogan nods his head in agreement as he does, in fact, 'know' how women are.

Joe Rogan: Harsh, bro. But true.

Charlie: That’s why I have to fight. I have to fight for my kids. Get some money in my bank account. That whore bitch Connie drained me out while I was paying her bills. I need some money in that account to get myself a damn fine lawyer, a private investigator, and get my kids back. I can’t do it with nothing. I need these wins, Joe. I need to win. Then win. Then win. Then win again, and stack that money to the ceiling. Only then can I win back my kids, Joe. It’s gonna take a lot of money to convince that stupid fucking cunt Judge that I deserve my children.

Joe Rogan: That’s real shit, bro. How did they take them away anyways? Don’t they need like a court order and shit?

Charlie: They’re snakes. Our society hates good men. Our society hates family men. The court does everything they can to hurt a good man. They don’t care about the law.

Joe Rogan: That’s fucked bro. Have you ever tried DMT?

Charlie: DMT? No. I’m more of a black tar and meth kinda guy. Little bit of pills, some booze. But none of that fancy stuff.

Joe Rogan: Oh shit. That shit’s hard, man. A lot of people struggle with that.

Charlie: The only struggle I have with heroin is when I don’t have enough of it!

Charlie laughs, but no one else seems to find the joke funny. Joe looks uncomfortable.

Joe Rogan: Hey you know, to each their own. Different strokes for different folks.

Charlie: But we're aaalllll sharing the same needle!

Joe Rogan: Well man, it was great having you on. It was really a blast. I'll definitely be tuning in to watch your fight, and everyone at home should too!

The podcast ends with Charlie grinning and nodding as Joe looks uncomfortably at Charlie.

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