The room is dark as the scene opens all we can see is a flickering, wavering light. As the camera zooms in we see a little bit of a girl, fedora cocked to the side, flicking a butane lighter humming a little tune which curiously sounds like "I'm a Little Teapot". She looks away from the flickering flame and up to the viewers with a bright smile.

"Well hi there! It looks like you finally found me." The young-looking girl giggles flicking on a dim over head light. She props long leather high heeled boots on a dusty desk and leans back in the squeaky chair,

"Please allow myself to introduce....myself...My nom de plume, or pen name for the weaker-minded in the crowd, is Ash Quinn!! Not to be confused with Ash from Pokemon. I am not here to fight your Charizard.

Ash chuckles at her own joke and spins in the chair giggling....

"Where was I? Oh yeah, names, Pokemon, blah, blah, blah..... Point is right here is where the normal superstar would blather here and fro about how long they have been in the biz and all the [ air quotes] Gold they Won. To be honest, this lil girl just popped out of the Indies to grace this fine fed just a few days ago. I am sure that in my forthcoming long and storied career I will win gold and pops plenty from the crowd, but right now I'm just soooo happy to be here!!"

Ash gets up from the desk in a fluid motion sliding on her duster. She strides to the camera subtler smile on her face than before. Adjusting her fedora she winks and blows a kiss to the camera as the screen fades to black and we hear "We Will Rock You" by Maria Brink, Lzzy Hale and Taylor Momsen.