08-10-2020, 01:20 PM
Aired on Aug 8th 2020.
We see straight shot of Tommy and Eric sitting about six feet from one another, with opposite mics sitting in front of them. As Eric was fiddling with the headphones, Tommy was tweaking the mic. The both men taps on the mic, and the mic gives out a scratchy noise that shocked both men in the studio somewhere in Tommy’s hometown.
Tommy: Hello Hello? I is this thing o—
Eric: Dude your mic is cutting off, we might have to—
Tommy: NO it’s fine it’s just a ch—
Tommy then taps on the mic again, as Eric facepalms at Tommy’s futile attempts of being an audio engy. Then he looks into the mic, with this time a shorter hair and a clean shirt on.
Eric: Welcome to the Fuck You Podcast, where it’s hosted by my audio engy Tommy wish or as he proclaims to be the Mildly Verbose Fuguefat of XWF. Tommy is your mic on?
Tommy kept on tapping on the mic, and it finally picked up on his voice.
Tommy: Finally this fucking thing wo— oh shit, we’re live… okay wow uh, yeah i am Tommy from a company that has built it’s rep on rock and roll… or racism with how someone in the backstage of that locker room managed to get away with it, i won’t mention any names due to me not wanting to get sued by the company.
Eric: Welp folks, you’ll catch us on here often, since i have nothing better to do but to talk nonsense of nonsense with Tommy, a guy who’s seen the best years in his career.
Tommy blushes at Eric’s comment.
Tommy: Don’t flatter me man, my career has yet to peak, maybe once i get my hands on that Hart Championship or that undead biker’s X-Treme Of Awesomeness belt off his hands, or hell i might even call up John and finally get our hands on that tag team belts, then my i’ve seen the best years of my career in the land of X-Treme.
Eric: So how long you think you see yourself doing this wrestling bullshit?
Tommy: Until i’m in my fifties, or when i finally get to slay Jenny Myst… i heard she’s a free agent.
Then Eric cues up the “OOS” and “AWWS” on his soundboard.
Eric: Uh oh, i guess you and the fans had watch last episode of Warfare. Let me speed y’all up… Chaos Inc managed to fool the paying fans to watch a bullshit match, just for Chris and friends ham it up for the camera. Even Gillyboy got the bitch treatment from Hanari, i wished he could’ve broken his arm before his big big BIG break in his hunt for the Universal Championship.
Tommy: Eh, i mean i got to give credit where it’s due, he’s been around for so long… he’s basically Verne Gange of the XWF, who know’s it’s time to quit but can’t due to everyone giving him what he wants, oh man i’d kill to be in his position… eh not really, due to being someone’s else’s bitch is not in the cards for the MVF of Warfare.
Eric: Oh c’mon i know you’d be so pumped to be on a Eiffel tower with Sarah, who we all know is a secretive lady due to the marks ending up stalking her. I bet if she gave you title shot, you’d take it!
Tommy then shakes his head no, and plays a clip of the exact on Warfare where she basically said she give him a title shot. Then it cuts back to the duo.
Tommy: You see, Gillyboy gets shit since everyone know in the back, he has that creative control clause in his iron clad contract of his.
Eric: So you’re comparing him to a man who basically told Hulk Hogan he wouldn’t be a top draw in the territories back in 1984? Wow must be a new day to stroke his ego, huh Tommy.
Tommy: Ehh, i know he won’t be able to “doesn’t work for me, brother” his way when he falls down from that tower in France. I don’t wish death upon anyone, but i know father time is ready to preheat his chaotic inc oven to 500 degrees to cook him and his crew; once he loses his marbles against Greggo’s top client.
Eric the presses an C Breezy’s “AYEEE YOOO” on his soundboard. As Tommy laughs at what he said.
Eric: More into important stuff, so what you mean slay Jenny Myst? Are you going to go to flavortown on her? I mean, she seems like a willing participant in my opinion.
Tommy: No man, she’s too busy with her own in ring stuff and hosting her own show, i doubt she would even look me in the eye. I mean, when i heard she joined BOB i was happy as shit; i guess i can consider her as Miss Fury type, albeit without the whole skin suit thing on.
Eric: So in short you wouldn’t eat her out?
Tommy: No no… I would, but I much rather suck on her toes and call it a day. Anyways, I have a question to ask you.
Eric: Shoot it, rancho.
Tommy: If you were on an island by yourself, but you had all the things you can image to have, basically on some Adam and eve shit… who would you want to be your Eve, and be the one you want to ride the flavortown with?
Eric: Shit man, so many flavor’s to pick from, well personally I’d want to taste Madison Dyson. She’s on her woke and pro black militant shit, and that alone is who’d take on as my Eve in that scenario… but you didn’t hear that from me.
Eric then plays a "OOOO" on his soundboard, as Tommy chuckles at his comment. Then he pulls out a poster of Dyson, then he licks on it with so much passion (i'd make anyone gag!) as Tommy looks on with a smile on his face.
Tommy: Hey man whatever floats your boat, who knows? Maybe one day we can double date them, and you can explore your freaky side and shit. But honestly, this podcast is going to be intentionally all over the place so… maybe next time we should have a succinct program.
Eric is cherkoving his chicken wing in his pants at the poster of Dyson, then he stops and rolls the poster up.
Eric: Eh…uh… fuck it, yeah we should, maybe we can do a future poll for the viewers at home, who can dictate what stuff we should talk about. Maybe invite some guests either in your land of XWF, or in my land of stand up comedy. It all depends on where this goes down the line, so maybe next few episodes from now; we just going to freestyle this shit.
Then both men look up at the timer that reached to zero, as they only have about fifteen minutes of podcast time within the studio. Then two security guards try to enforce them to leave, but Tommy beats them up with a kendo stick, while Eric runs off and the scene simply cuts off.
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