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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Leap of Faith 2020 PPV
There's always money in the banana-lime stand
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Ruby Offline
The Super Dear'o



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#1
07-23-2020, 12:01 PM

From Ruby’s Go-Pro

Hours before the show kicks off, a livestream kicks in, and we see a camera moving through the hallways of the Saitama Super Arena. They’re relatively empty, save for crew finishing some of their preparations and Ruby turns the camera towards her own face, apparently already in her full superhero gear.

Ruby: “Sup my flippies? I can’t believe we’re in Japan!! I first wrestled here when I was nineteen years old and it’s always a blast to come here. Thought I’d give you guys a little bit of an arena tour. There’ll be no superheroic escapades today unfortunately. Just got off the flight a few hours ago, and as some of you may know I spent the weekend at my parent’s. And boy, is tonight a big night for me or what? Because sure, there’s all this Leap of Faith match funny business, but we can’t forget about XWF’s most orderly title, now can we?”

She points the camera downwards, showing off the Anarchy title belt strapped around her waist, almost entirely covering up her green skirt. She points it back up again and winks. She then points the camera away from her as she goes over to the concession stand, where an elderly gentleman is stalling out his wares and setting up a tap.

Ruby: “Ayooo, it’s Concession Joe! What the flip, my guy, they made you come all the way over here?”

The man’s entire face wrinkled as he smiled.

Joe: “Well well, the Super Dear’O! Can I get you anything, darling? On the house.”

Ruby: “Oh no no, I WILL be paying for that, my dude. Your cash register has to check out. Let’s see what ya got these days… Oh maaaan, you got rid of the Fuzz Tea?”

Joe: “Yeah, I had to… Stupid name change of his cost me a pretty penny. And the Iced Wars-tea-N isn’t selling as well as I’d hoped. Doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well.”

Ruby: “Bummer, dude! So what’s my item these days? Still a green salad with yellow bell peppers?”

Joe: “No, sorry kiddo, but that just wasn’t selling, not even to the hordes of little girls sporting your mask. I tried making a banana-lime milkshake, but it tasted as bad as it sounds.”

Ruby: “You need to make me into a taco, homie. Nice yellow corn exterior, some guacamole on top of the toppings.”

Joe: “I would kiddo, but I’ve already got the Centacos and they sell almost as well as the spicy Thunder Knuckle Sandwich. Still, whatever I come up with it’ll be better than these Lacklanland Creamed Onions. Last time I sold one of those was in March of 2019. And that was to her sister!”

Ruby: “Yeah, why do you even have those?”

Joe: “I’m pretty sure it’s in her contract or something. I once heard the bossman say that thing is the size of three full binders.”

Ruby: “Really? I signed on a napkin when I met Vinnie at a bar one day. But that does sound like her.”

Joe: “Yeah, there’s always some weird stuff going on. Two months ago I had someone come up to me and ask if our fries were actually prepared in real lard liposuctioned from the body of Peter Gilmour.”

Ruby: “Gross… …. …. … they aren’t, are they?”

Joe: “Of course not. Weird thing is, he seemed disappointed.”

Ruby: “Well, I’m relieved… Slightly nauseous at the thought, but still. Anyway, bud, just a Big D-O-Nut will do fine.”

Joe grabs the one with the most sprinkles and filled with the most cream and hands it to her on a paper plate.

Joe: “Here ya go, kiddo. Enjoy. And good luck tonight in both matches! Swing by after and we’ll have a Mastermimosa or a Robbie Bourbon!”

Ruby: “All right, you old dawg! Hang in tight!”

Ruby walks away and with a donut in one hand and the GoPro in the other, she directs it at her face again.

Ruby: “That’s right, my flippies. BOTH matches! Because Anarchy may be an afterthought to the self-proclaimed elitist ones, but flippin’ heck, you can spank my buttocks and call me Mustard Sally if Geri and I aren’t dead set on stealing the show tonight.

Ya see, I’m looking forward to this one, Geri my girl. Last time we faced off for this beauty decorating my waist, I let myself and my fans down. I didn’t really show up, did I? As if my mind got mastered and it was elsewhere. But not now. I’m focused. I’m honed in and zoned in. And while I may not like you whole ganja drug advertising schtick, there are few people I’d rather defend this belt against. Because you’ve held it. You know what it means. You’re hungry and eager, and I see that as a sign of respect, much more so than all those loonies dismissively waving their hands as if this title belt is but a consolation prize. But here’s the thing. All those buffoons couldn’t climb out of the Anarchy midcard to save their life. No disrespect intended to my comrades and colleagues enriching it. You guys are the beating heart of the show, after all! But Geri, no matter what you said in the run-up to this event, your actions in the past few weeks have spoken louder. You hunger for this title. Not sure if it’s the tokes you’ve been doing, but still… Trust me when I say I will sate your appetite and then some. The Leap of Faith match may be huge, but that won’t stop me from giving 100% to keep hold of my baby. Because after all, Order has been restored to Anarchy. And I plan on keeping it that way.”


Ruby takes a bite out of the donut, winks and then pulls a weird face.

Ruby: “This tastes… weird.”

And the stream comes to an end.

[Image: dY7KZz4.png]
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (07-24-2020), Atara Raven (07-23-2020), Chris Page (07-23-2020)




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