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Paul Heyman · (07-19-2020)

Ladies and gentlemen... my name is Paul Heyman and the fact is, I did create the sound of Madness. I took a fledgling little show that no one wanted and was really on the brink of extinction and made it the true flagship show of the XWF. It was never referred to as such by Shane

or anyone else at the top of the XWF food chain, but it was. It was the place where the biggest stars in the company decided to throw their anchor. It was the show that saw the birth of a lowly Republican Senator for Texas and gave him the canvas for him to create his art. You might know him better as John Samuels. A Senator. A King. A fucking Legend.

Monday Night Madness was also the show that your current owner, Vinnie Lane, called home. A fucking legend in his own right.

Talk about a Madness legacy! I could list numerous names and episodes and review things that have happened, but this isn't about that. The truth is, no one here is going to toot my horn over my past accomplishments while point man on Monday Nights. What's more is, no one can toot my own horn better than me. Monday nights in the XWF at one point was must see programming.

What was Paul Heyman going to do next? Who was I going to screw over? What star was I going to anoint as my chosen one?

While its fun to reminisce and while I'm so very proud of the old Monday Night Madness and what I, my roster, and at certain times my cohort Ozymandias, accomplished and created for the fans of the Xtreme Wrestling Federation, Paul Heyman the General Manager doesn't exist. Madness lives on now only in the archives. The amazing efforts put forth by me, my team, my roster... all of it collects dust on a shelf at XWF Headquarters.

What's next for Paul Heyman? Aside from my work as personal attorney to the Duke's, I bring you this column, where I break down the card for Leap of Faith and let's be real, is it REALLY Leap of Faith WITHOUT Paul Heyman lingering around somewhere?

It isn't.

I'm not going to break down every single match, but ones that stick out to me as something to keep an eye out for.

Let's get to it.

The opening match is scheduled to be an over the top rope elimination style battle royal that sees a list of names that is veritable who's who, who used to be, and who will be in the future. These openers are perpetually filler. That's not a bad thing. The opener gives us a taste of those that maybe we don't see much, or hardly at all anymore. Battle royal's are always tough because it takes almost equal parts skill and luck to come out victorious Look for an all out slugfest in this bout but if anyone would take Michael McBride out of this match, I will be forever in your favor. That son of a bitch still owes me 150 grand for blowing up my limousine 5 years ago.

I'm not exactly doing predictions, but if I had to put money on it, my money goes on an emerging name, or more precisely, one the XWF isn't that familiar with...yet.

Maybe I should do predictions.

Next up is Atara Themis, in dire need of getting back to her winning ways, going up against that pretty little idiot, Jenny Myst. If ever there was a one trick pony in the XWF, it's Jenny Myst. Beautiful to be sure but the 'Mean Girls' shtick is stale. Hey, I call it like I see it. Atara Themis, as stated, is in dire need of a win and these two have been on a course to clash in this Belle of the Brawl match for quite awhile and personally, I can't wait to see this one. It'll go down to the wire and will go to a third fall. The gorgeous, voluptuous, Atara Themis for the close, hard fought victory.

The tag team titles will be defended and its a once in a lifetime event! No, I'm not trashing on how little the powers that be care about the tag titles, what I mean is that its a once in a lifetime opportunity to see two, 2, TWO coattail riders team up TOGETHER! You read that right. The snoozefest that is Chris Chaos teams with oh my god is this right? PETER GILMOUR!? Excuse me while I laugh heartily.

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Okay.

So, Peter Gilmour who has lucked into just about any title he's ever won, teams with a guy that has done precisely the same thing and together, their weakness collide giving us one absolute dud of a tag team taking on the iconic Robert Main and Chris Page. It's basically a day off for the tag team champions.

So the TV title match stands out and not in a good way and I'll tell you why. Thunder Knuckles has been on a tear since winning the title back in March and that speaks volumes to his desire, whether outwardly stated or inwardly thought, to get better at honing his craft and to be honest, he's the best Television champion this company has seen since Lux. That's something he should be proud of regardless of whether he wins or loses this match.

Now to address the elephant in the room. Yes, "The Collector" aka Thaddeus Duke is my client but at the end of the day, that's business and this is the XWF, this is where my true love lies and despite him being my client, that young man has shit on this company, those that run it, those that compete in it for a long time. Maybe his head wasn't right but that's not a good excuse. He waltzes in after 6 or 7 months, has two matches on Warfare and is immediately thrown into a TV title match. I have a problem with that. I'm not saying he isn't talented enough because of course he is. The fact remains though, he's been so flighty the last few years that he hasn't even proved whether or not he'll even still be here in a month or two months. Thunder Knuckles and the Television title deserve more respect than that in my never humble opinion.

Yes, I know there's a Leap of Faith rafter match but here's a bit of irony for you: I fucking hate that match and I always have.

James Raven versus Theo Pryce.

Just wow.

I'd have given my middle testicle to have had a match like that on Leaps of Faith that I ran in the past. Those pay per views were off the charts with insanity too, but never that much star power between just two people. I'll be watching that one just like the rest of you, as a fan. It's a dream match of epic proportions pitting two good friends against one another. Two legends against one another. That match sells itself and by itself, is worth the pryce (get it) of admission.

Not to be outdone, the Universal title is on the line with Shawn "Don't Call Me Fuzz" Warstein defending against Centurion. If Raven v Pryce wasn't enough, first of all you're an idiot and you may as well just go tune into Trinity and watch Thunder Knuckles own their roster, and secondly, the champion having an epic encounter with the legendary Centurion (be sure to like his promos to validate his awesomeness, because he isn't sure) is not only worth the price of admission, but its worth twice that and the cost of ordering the ppv.

No one does pay per view like the Xtreme Wrestling Federation. They're never outdone and I expect this show to be no different. It's solid from top to bottom and I expect thousands to go home in both shock and awe at the unrivaled talent that the XWF offers. Just close your eyes and jump, take that leap of faith.

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