The sound of ruffled paper broke through the silence, we fade in to find Johnny Legend hunch over a sweeping, dimly lit desk- his eyes fading in front of him with a sloppy stack of paper littered all across. His dirt blonde hair askew every which way, Johnny swiped his finger across his hair once again; leaving a film of grease on it every time he goes in for another. This in turn lead to papers getting stuck to Johnny Legend's hand, "Eat your heart out, Spideeman. Yeah... I didn't pronounce that arrrr on purpose!" He mentions to himself, holding his hand up with a piece of paper stuck to it.

RIP

He ripped the paper off, crumbled it up and tossed it behind him.

"Back to business." Johnny said, his eyes locked back on the stack of papers. The aroma of rotten onion filled the air in this tiny, dark room. The smell.. Probably from lack of hygiene on Johnny Legend's part... Or the stack of onions Johnny has been tossing next to his desk chair- ripped from the Big Macs he has ordered every four hours in the past few weeks.

"Ohhh boy." He let out a sigh of relief when he unbuckled the top button of his jeans, sent a wave of muffin flab down his hips.

He chuckled and threw his hands in the air, "It's here. I know it. Not like I would lose something important like this.. This thing that I so desperately need... Right?" Johnny looks around him, "You listening, Jessie? JESSIE!" He screamed into the empty room around him, only the shadow outline of bookshelves and chairs were showing up beyond the reach of the desk lamp.

"Where is that girl? I NEED MY FIX!" His voice crackled with bloodshot eyes fixated on the papers in front of him, "Not like this week is the most important week of my life!" Johnny turned around in the chair, "YOU HEAR THAT, JESSIE! IT'S MY DAY!" Johnny was pointing to himself, and if the room was brighter, would've found Johnny Legend yelling at a Bamboo Palm stone that was waving in the corner from the AC vent above it.

Wait.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

He looked around the room, "Wha.. Who... Who said that?" His eyes squinted a little, trying to make out if anything was moving around the pitch black room.

Slowly, his head lowered where he was back to staring back down at the papers, "WHERE IS IT!?"

He slide the papers left and right, all were nonsensical rantings of a madman written on them. Finally, piece after piece; Johnny Legend has found what he was looking for.

"EUREKA! I FOUND IT, JESSIE! I didn't need that stupid bitch. Also, where are my happy pills!?"

He slapped the paper in victory with a backhand, "This baby is gonna help me defeat Andrew Gibson. That bald headed fuck!"

"That's right, Andrew. I know who you are! I remember you; you piece of shi.." Johnny yelled at the picture, but his concentration broke when the desk started to vibrate a tad, which startled Johnny Legend. The confusion of what was causing it faded away when he noticed his flip phone was moving across the desk.

Pissed off, "Just once I want it to be a ghost. Is that so hard to ask?" He reached over to the phone, flipped it open and answered with disappointment in his voice, "Hello.."

"Hey, Johnny? You know who this is, right?" The voice on the other end asked.

Johnny sat up with excitement in his voice replied with, "NATHAN GUST! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The other voice sighed, "No. It's Andrew Barnes, Johnny. You texted me a few days ago about some blood in your stool?" Andrew Barnes said on the other end, with a hint of worry in his voice.

Johnny slumped back down in his seat, "Oh... OHH! ANDREW!" He sat back up, "Hey! I was gonna text you about blood being in my stool and.."

Andrew interrupted him off with, "Yeah. Yeah. I got it already! No need to send it again.. and no more pictures of your toilet, either. Please for the love of God... No more of those."

Johnny nodded with a blank stare, nothing got through to him, he was already thinking of telling Andrew about the blood in his stool, "So, Andrew, there's blo.."

"Yeah, gonna cut you off again, buddy. I'm just calling back to remind you that you should get that checked AND that you shouldn't have signed yourself back with XWF. You're old and Action Wrestling pretty much broke you." Andrew Barnes mentioned as the anger rose with every word.

Johnny nodded, "Ah, I see. So it's not because I've been forcing them shits out?"

"I mean, it could be that.. Look, just get that shit checked, literally. And quit with all the texts. I don't even think this Andrew Gibson you speak of in them even wrestles there anymore." Andrew said and was about to hang up before Johnny Legend replied with, "Uhm, it's right here.." Johnny pulled out a OnePlus eight Pro from his jeans pocket and swiped up to search through the gallery.

"Are you still using that other phone for just pictures!?" Andrew static yell comes out from the flip phone that sits on the desk as Johnny continues looking through pictures. Porn. Of course it's mostly porn. Which is sidetracked Johnny, forgetting what he was originally searching for in the first place.

Andrew grew impatient, "Johnny.. JOHNNY!?"

Jumping up, Johnny finally found what he was looking for and replied, "It has wifi. I mean, oh yeah.. It's right here!" Johnny pointed to the screen on the expensive smartphone, as if Andrew Barnes could see what was on the screen.

"See. Andrew Logan. That douche from.. Wait." Johnny said, but quickly realized the two names were different.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

...

Ok, it took him a bit, but Johnny Legend finally realized that Andrew Gibson and Andrew Logan are two different people. He has became more amused to the fact that he knew three Andrews now.

"Heh. What a stupid name. Andrew. Add Logan to it and you got a name for a average baseball player." Johnny laughed at his own lame joke.

"Just close your eyes and picture Andrew LOGAN. Probably some guy with a beard, wearing those flannel shirts like Al Borland from Tool Time, thinking they can get along in this business with a name like that. You gotta have a sweet name like me, kid." Johnny waved his free hand across him, "JOHNNY LEGEND!" He sniffled, "Makes me cry every time I say it. You see, Andrew Logan. I'm the old ghost of the past; the old fart that won't let you pass. IT'S MY TIME! IT WILL ALWAYS BE MY TIME! I will die in that ring while still putting down new and fresh talent, such as yourself, Andrew Logan."

STATIC CUT

"Huh?" Johnny wonders what that noise was, "You hear that, Andrew?" He said, looking around the room.

The room is completely silent. You could hear a beetle fart if you listen closely.

PIFF

"I swear I just heard a beetle fart." Johnny shrugged, "Anyways, back to Andrew Logan who isn't Andrew Gibson.. That's right, Andrew Barnes?" Johnny Legend chuckled with his fat mouth, spit and some chewed up meat that was lodged between his teeth from a stale Big Mac flew out and onto the papers in front of him.

He choked on his spit for a second, "Pewww. That was close." Johnny thumped his chest to get the rest out,] "Ok. Ok. Ok. I'm good now. Andrew... you still there?" He paused for a moment, but no answer from Andrew made Johnny Legend fidget in his seat- he was picking out yellow chunks of mush out of his gums before he said, "ANDREW!" He raised his voice in the end , with his eyes crossed, Johnny stood up with a closed fist to the phone, "YOU ANSWER ME!"

...

"You know what.." Johnny angrily pushed the stack of papers off his desk, flipped the desk forward which sent the desk lamp to the ground. The orange light from the desk lamp flickered around the room, it started rolling around the ground- revealing all the dumpy furniture and collapsed bookshelves in sight. Some bookshelves are empty, full of cobwebs and some broken titles from past federations. The light continued to roll around the room, showing the walls decaying down to the trim in green and black mold.

Johnny Legend, with his belly hung over a pair of black boxers, his attempt to hide all the skidmarks, continued to stand in the middle of the room, breathing heavily while the light finally hit his cold, dead eyes.

A slight crack of a smile merged from that deep stare, "I see what you want. You want me to kill him. Don't you, Walls? Boil him, mash him, stick him in a stew? THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT OF ME!" He smacked his flabby man-boobs toward the wall, with light catching the onion sweat which was flying off his broken and aged body.

Suddenly, a break of light slashed through the glow from a fallen desk lamp. Johnny, who was bathed in an orange glow of desk lamp... Now.. A bright white glow chased it away, leaving Johnny Legend there with his pants down around his ankles. He held up his right hand above his eyes, blinded by the white light that now dominated the room; he slowly lowered his hand to let the light in.

He breathed in and raised his arms up, "I'm ready.." Johnny said to himself, finally at peace when he felt the warmth of light hit his skin. "TAKE ME, LORD!" He screamed until he was red and dropped to his knees with his arms still up in the air.

"Mr. Legend!? Wha... What are you doing?" A high pitched female voice appeared from the doorway. A petite figure stood in the doorway, outlined with the white glow, "Oh shit! I was suppose to give you your medicine!" She said and quickly turned on the lights to the room, revealing a small brunette with her hair tied in a ponytail, average face along with average tits- nothing special. She stumbled toward Johnny Legend, her crooked glasses were about to fall off while she was searching through her purse for Johnny Legend's pills.

"YES!" She grabbed out the bottle and raised it in the air like Link opening a chest in those Zelda games.

She spun open the top, grabbed Legend's throat; to which his mouth opened like a duck, making it easier for her as she dumped a bunch of pills down his gullet, "Here you go, sir."

GULP

She stroked his neck up and down to help the pills go down smoothly. Johnny, who was practically a dog right now, began to stomp his foot on the ground as he choked the pills down. From lack of oxygen, or swallowing a load that would make even the likes of Madison Dyson proud.. Wait.. Who the fuck is Madison Dyson?!

Johnny pounded the floor with his fist until he got back enough air to regulate his breathing to form a somewhat intelligible sentence, "FUCKING JESSIE.. Pawfh. HAf. Shit. I was.. Hfhag. Never good at swallowing that shit." He said as Jessie was rubbing away the spit from his chin.

Johnny pushed her hand away, "Quit it." He stumbled to his feet and lurched over to his bedroom. Once inside, made his way to a bare mattress stained with either pop or piss; probably both, and flopped down face first into a freshly moist stain.

Jessie rushed in with a clipboard and pencil in hand, she dropped to her knees next to his bed, "Sir, you asked early today that you MUST talk about your opponent this coming Saturday Night Savage in XWF." She asked silently, trying to still be polite with the sleeping moron and earn her college credit.

Confused, Johnny started to mumble incoherently before finally realizing what she was talking about and lifted his head up from the stain.

"Oh yeah.. I signed back up with XWF. Who was my opponent again?" He asked Jessie with his eyes still shut.

She replied with, "Andrew Logan, sir."

"Ah yes, Andrew Logan." He said and sat up on the edge of the bed with his legs hanging down, "Have... Have I fought him anywhere before?"

Jessie took out her phone and started searching Legend's past matches while he nodded off and back to reality on his bed. She stopped and shook her head, "Nope. He's pretty much stuck around a few federations." She replied.

He chuckled, "What kind a wrestler doesn't move onto a different federation every few months?" Puzzled by Andrew Logan's loyalty.

"No matter." Johnny said as his mind began to clear itself, "This isn't OCW. This is XWF. And if Andrew Logan thinks he could just cannonball into these rough waters; well... He probably can. That place is a fucking dump now."

"Either way, can you do a little promo now so I can write it down and you can do it later in front of camera?" Jessie asked Johnny Legend, which was a terrible idea since Johnny is pretty much out of it. Fucking interns.

Johnny agreed and stood up with an odd clarity in his voice, "Andrew Logan. Andrewwwwww LOOGAN. Not much can I say about this blockhead. He's big and tough in all the right areas. Yet, he's almost my age and when I hear about his accomplishments.. " Johnny snapped his fingers toward Jessie to look up his title history, "I seeeeee... " He continued to stale as Jessie swiped vigorously on her phone.

She found it and raised her phone up for Johnny Legend to see, "That's it!? Look, I know titles don't make a man, but they sure as hell make him better than some blockhead from the indies like Andrew Logan. I have titles from federations that I use to wipe my ass. I have so much that they didn't even bother to post it on my profile! Fuck. I'm sorry, man. I came back and they already tossed me in the main event; that should speak volumes to you, Andrew Logan. Yeah, I have to say your last name because your first fucking name is as original as a Lee Stone promo." Johnny Legend mocked Lee Stone by putting his hands up in some type of gang sign somewhere in this world, "I'm Lee Stone, bitch!"

"Such a loser, that blockhead. Anyways, Andrew Logan. I'm from the land before time. When giants ruled this world, and little girls like Sarah Lacklan knew her place making dinosaur egg omelettes for us men. Speaking of men. Andrew, you think that because you have a asshole brother, that makes you better than me?! I'll have you know that I have tons of shithead brothers and sisters! All from different mothers and colors of the spectrum. My dad was like Genghis Khan, plowing pussy across the land and creating little shits like me to annoy wannabe football blockheads like you, Andrew Logan- with their dead wives who might or might not be alive or whatever. Fucking soap opera shit I'm watching over here. I could never keep up with that shit."

"No one wants to know your history anyways, Andrew Logan. It's boring. The same boredom you get when you talk to anyone called Andrew. You guys must be coded with a life-sucking trait that causes people to go catatonic the moment words leave that stupid blockhead mouth of yours. Oh, boo hoo, I lost someone. Let me stand in the rain and brood about life. Maybe you should paint your face and run around the woods, talking about Hot Topic and how they are idiots for not carrying my merch!"

"Fuck it. You want to see what a real wrestler looks like, Andrew Logan?!"

"NOW... BEHOLD! This is where I will end the promo and start flexing, Jessie. Write that down."

Jessie looked around, "Uh, sir. We have been recording this whole time?"

Johnny stopped for a second, "Huh?"

Jessie pointed to the camera crew that was filming Johnny Legend in the corner of the room. Johnny leaned down to stare into the camera and replied with, "Ohhh. Oh well. This is how Legends roll."

The sound of bones crunching, while Johnny flexed in front of Jessie, who started clapping along to his rhythmic belly fat, "This.. This. Is. Perfection." He announced, his fat swayed with every movement of the body. The scene started to fade, followed by the sound of Jessie clapping away slowly drowned by the pitch black.