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Current XWF board time: 07-05-2020, 08:34 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                
X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Warfare Boards » "Wednesday Warfare" RP Board
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I sincerely hope you like my moms cookies
Author Message
Gage Gannon Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


Post: #1
06-30-2020 03:58 PM

“M to the A to the S to the K Put the mask upon the face just to make the next day Feds be hawking me, jokers be stalking me I walk the streets and camouflage my identity”


“Why did you confuse that poor boy like that??”

Gage has been on the phone for nearly an hour as his mom has been harping at him.

“Mom I didn’t know that he would take it literal.”

"Let me read this again son….you said and I quote…."

“What makes Gage Gannon tick? What drives Gage? Why is Gage the arrogant little bastard, that we are all inclined to hate? Who knows, maybe my parents left me a shitload of money, and one night we were coming down a dark alley from the movie theatre, and they got shot.”

“REALLY, SON?”

Gage’s cheeks flush red, as he didn’t realize that so many people were going to take him literally.

“You told them that me and your father were shot in an alleyway? Wait……did you just….you made us die like Batman’s parents?”

“Mom what do you want me to say? The publisher said that me being a trustfund baby was boring. They said that I needed something to grab the reader’s attentions.”

“Woooww, I can’t believe you used of all things Batman’s parents death to reference me and your father.”

“To be fair mom, I said MAYBE, I didn’t really make your death permanent. I didn’t realize that it would be taken literal.”

“You ought to apologize, to that poor boy for confusing him like that. I know, maybe I’ll bake him some cookies. And then when you go to your match, you apologize to him, and tell him that your mother is sorry for the confusion.”

“MOM!!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS???

“Why do you always embarrass me like this???

“DON’T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT GAGE GEOFREY GANNON!!!”

Gage was a man of pride against normal people……but his mother was a whole other story. Gage’s mother had this annoying habit of making him feel 2ft tall. Gage just shrinks down in his chair as he lowers his tone.

“Mother, I don’t think you realize how this works. You don’t go to an XWF show and hand out cookies to my opponent!”

“Well….why not? Perhaps that young man’s day could be brightened by having a batch of my delicious homemade cookies.”

Gage is annoyed, but what can you really do with your mother but love and respect her…

“By the way honey, I don’t know why you feel the need to lie to make your book sale. Tell the truth…. We made our fortune off of selling socks and underwear. Me and your father came from nothing and we made something of ourselves! And your ashamed because you have had the finer things in life, and people see the money and the cars,…….oh but if you tell them that you are an heir to a multimillion sock fortune you would be embarrassed.”

“I love you and dad, I am not embarrassed!”

“Well you know maybe me and your father can come to your next show and show some of the wrestler’s some of our socks…..”

Gage lets out a loud squeal as he wishes the horror would end.

“MOM!!!!”

“Gage, what let me tell you something young man, there are all types of diseases going on right now. I’m sure that maybe they would love to feel like they are walking on air. You know what how about you boss.”

“NO MAM!!”

“I have an image to maintain, do you know what would happen if people saw my mom showing up with a pair of socks?”


“They would probably come up and thank you for making their life walking around on that hard mat a little bit more comfortable, maybe even hug you.”

Gage just rolls his eyes as he tries to rush his mom off the phone.

“You need to make this right young man.”

“And how do you expect me to do that?"

“Your going to apologize to him!!!”

"And.......again how do you expect me to do that??"

“You are going to issue a public apology, to him!!!


My Posse in the Brooklyn wear the mask My crew in the Jersey wear the mask Stick up kids doing boogie woogie wear the mask Yeah everybody wear the mask but how long will it last

“Mr. Gannon are you sure that you want to do this.”

“I don’t have a choice, my mom is standing right there.”

Gage looks over at his mother who has a stern look on her face as she just smiles and encourages him to continue on.

“Dear God, I don’t mean any of this apology…….just…..let’s get this over with.”

The cameras begin to roll as Gage comes onscreen with his face in his hands. He picks up a piece of paper from his lap and begins to read monotone….

“Mr. Collector……mental iillness is a serous issue and one that should not be taken lightly. We here at……Gannon Sock Enterprises……would like to apologize for the harsh words that may of come out of my mouth. I realize now the error of my ways and I would like to extend an………”

Gage stops reading and turns around and looks at his mom….

“Are you freaking serious?”

Gage’s mother claps her hand and stomps her foot, as she scowls at him to keep reading…..

“Ugghhhhhh whatever…… I would like to extend an olive branch and personally pay for your sessions for counseling however long that you need them. My mother also has also graciously baked some cookies, and as a further sign of good will would like to invite you and your family…….to have free samples of our socks….that my mother is sure will……

Gage grits his teeth as he can’t believe he is being forced to do this….

……that will knock your socks off. Please accept my most humble apology, and realize that to the Gannons……you are a winner…..”

The camera’s go off the air as Gage’s mother comes up to him and hugs him…

“See…..now that wasn’t so bad was it…..”

Gage rushes past his mother into the bathroom as he leans over the stool and begins to hurl…..

M to the A to the S to the K Put the mask ‘pon me face just to make the next day Brothers be gaming, Ladies be claiming I walk the streets and camouflage my identity

Some time later Gage peeks his head around the corner as the cameraman is cleaning the lens off his camera….

PSSSTTTTT…..

The cameraman doesn’t even flinch as this annoys Gage….

PSSSTTTTT….

The cameraman looks up at Gage then looks around as he briskly walks over to Gage…..

“Is she Gone??”

“Yessir, she had an important meeting to get to. She wanted me to let you know that the cookies are right over…..”

Gage yanks the cameraman by the scruff of his collar….

“We are going to go a different route….roll the camera…”

“Yes….yessir Mr. Gannon.”

The cameraman rolls the footage as Gage looks disgusted…


“I’m an asshole. I realize that. I may of said some things to poke the bear, hell I may of said some things to piss you off…..and it worked. See no matter who I face, whether it be Kris, whether it be Tula or hell even whether it is you, you all have one thing in common. You are exactly what I say that you are. The only difference is this week, this week you agree with me. Let’s get past the name calling and let’s break it down for what it is. You are a stone cold reject….”

“See I don’t understand this notion, that you have given me all the answers, when you aren’t even sure of the questions. I don’t get it, your so, your so riled up, your so agitated and what for? Because we both agree that you are a mental basket case? Because of the fact that I reiterated that you left in December because you sucked? Let’s start with that shall we. You had one match, and then you left. Instead of getting better, you hid in the shadows, hoping like I said last time for a redo, a relaunch of sorts. But regardless of wear you run to, regardless of where you go it remains the same….you left because you couldn’t handle the heat. You can put a nice pink bow on shit, and giftwrap it any way you want to, but no doubt about it….it’s still SHIT.”

“I’ve said this countless times before there is nothing complicated about Gage Gannon. God, I’m starting to sound like a parrot, and I feel like one…because no matter who my opponent, is they always want to bring up the fact that I am…..hahaha……grasping at straws. Gage Gannon is a “Fucking Idiot… What makes me an idiot exactly? Because of the fact that I see a man who doubts his abilities? Because I see a man that no matter how much he wants everybody to believe that he is this badass…..you still are always going to be second best.”

“See let me explain something to you, do you think that I tell you that you suck for my benefit? Do you think that I tell you, that you are a shell of a man, just because I want to spew random things that come to my mind? I told you I studied you, and I am going off your actions. You can’t tell me that a man, who doesn’t even know who he is has confidence in anything. Let’s face the facts I’ve won more matches in three weeks than you have in seven months.”

“You had to go away and find yourself, and then you tell me you have came back and your at your best. Then you have the nerve to tell me that when you are “at your best, a very select few can actually get over on me. Let me explain something to you, I’m not trying to get over on you. If I was trying to get over on you, I would befriend you, I would butter you up, and make you think that you are as good as you think you are. The simple fact is your best just isn’t good enough. I want you to realize that I describe what I am going to do to my opponents. It’s almost an orgasmic feeling with me describing what I am going to do to my opponents.”

“That’s not boasting, that’s just me telling you how it is. The fact of the matter is this jack, me telling you what I am going to do to you is Fact, considering when I say that I am going to do something I do it. I leave the bodies, and the carnage left behind me as my resume. And when somebody doesn’t believe the words that are coming out of my mouth, I just show them my resume. I told Kris that I was going to make his body, give out….and I beat his ass. Bilbo or whatever the fuck his name was, found out just how good I was in the ring. I’m a fucking idiot??? A fucking idiot, is my opponent from Savage Melanie Childs…. I flung her ass to the front row, where she belonged…being a damn critic. Tula, underestimated me and told me that if I pinned Melanie instead of her, that she would look at my victory with an asterisk. So I hit the Maleficent Benefactor on her ass and I beat her.”


“What is generic to you, what you are used to is quickly becoming truth. I don’t go around here not making any promises that I can’t keep. The reason that I tell you that I am going to beat your ass, the reason that it isn’t basic is for the simple fact that I leave it as a fucking timestamp. So that way when I beat your ass in that ring I can come back to the very moment, that I told you so, and use it against the next opponent who is undoubtedly going to have the same useless drivel to say about Gage Gannon.”

“Gage Gannon is an idiot…..Gage Gannon is grasping at straws….Gage Gannon is spitting useless drivel. They have all said the same thing, yet the funny thing is after the match is over they put their hands in the air and they go…”Well he did exactly what he said that he was going to do….” See understand that this business that we are in, you either kick people’s asses or you get your ass kicked. Now has Gage Gannon had his ass kicked before? You’re damn right, is it going to happen again….maybe so….hell I know there are a lot of people rooting for me to get my ass kicked.”

“The problem is that you and I are not in the same business. See I don’t get my ass kicked and then come back, better, ready not to let my legions of fans down. No the difference between you and me is I get better every time that I step into the ring. Every time that I step into the ring, I learn, I adapt, I grow. You can go back to any point in time, and everything that I have said hasn’t been a lie. I said that you will hardly see Gage Gannon slipping, that I hardly misstep. Everythng that I said has been downright truth.”


“You can’t accept the fact that maybe, just maybe I suckered you in a little bit. Hell, you even said in the very beginning that you liked me Collector you remember that? Now all of a sudden that changed, because you couldn’t handle the self truths about yourself I was slinging at you. See let me tell you what pisses you off. It’s different when you realize how much of a fucking basket case that you are. But when Gage Gannon says it to you, now it’s a problem because it’s me telling you something about yourself you hate.”

“That is what eat’s at you kid. It’s because I will rub dirt in the wound to make it a big flesh eating whole, until you can’t stand the sight of yourself even with a mask on. So then you tell me that I failed the open book test. Well silly, I didn’t exactly fail, more so, I copied. I took your insecurities and I made you confront them. It annoys you that a man like me, reminds you of every little thing that makes you sick. Every little trait that you have, that drives you crazy, yeah I’m going to make sure that you know, that I agree with you.”

“Is it fair, no not at all. But then again it’s not fair for me to let you slide thinking that you have a chance in this match. It’s so funny watching you get worked up, and you drop your little F bombs, you drop your little diss’s at me and you are losing sight of what is really supposed to be happening. Then you say that, anybody that knows me, knows that Gage Gannon is full of shit. Now that’s a funny one. “

“Let me ask you something Collector. Do they really know you? I mean do they know the real you? Do they know the guy that is going to be squealing in pain? Do they know the guy who I am going to expose Wednesday night? Do they? I don’t think that they do. See you can’t really appreciate the finer details of toying with your opponent, wearing him down…..making him give out. Me on the other hand, I do believe I am starting to sense a deeper connection between the two of us.”

“Is Gage Gannon rambling? Is Gage Gannon full of shit? You sure do have your chance to try to prove it on Wednesday. You can’t humble me, because I’ve had to humble my expectations with you. I’ve had to really get to know you for you. I don’t talk out of my ass, I without a shadow of a doubt know what I am going to do to you. And deep down you do to. Your in the deep end, any our are swimming without a life vest. For you, Wednesday Night is going to be a long night, but for me It’s just going to be another feather in my cap.


Gage just smirks as he starts to walk off, and then comes back into view….

“Oh by the way, I sincerely do hope that you enjoy my moms cookies…”

Gage bows out as the scene ends.

[Image: OMX9IA3.jpg]
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