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Anarchy - 6/25/20
Author Message
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Offline
The Guy

XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)

Post: #1
06-27-2020 01:34 PM



Broken Oswald
- vs -
Last Man Standing!

Zane Norrison
- vs -
Minka Arzegotti

- vs -
Miss Fury
Alien Abduction Match!

The winner will be whichever competitor forces their opponent into a small UFO near ringside and closes the door!

Micheal Graves
- vs -
Tula Keali'i

Ruby & Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Escape Area 51 Match!

The teams will be locked into the mysterious military facility and each will have two keys. ALL FOUR KEYS will be needed to escape the compound... what secrets will they uncover as they battle one another through the hallowed halls???

"Big Beautiful" Bobbi London
- vs -
Big D
Internet Rules!


[Image: gR8affl.png]

Man, this place is weird…

Rather than any sort of pyro, we are lit up by a gigantic recreation of a UFO, with its many different lights and colors flashing through the night sky in the middle of Nevada.

The ring is set up in the open field near the Little A’Le’’Inn, a popular tourist destination for UFO fanatics like Vinnie. Speaking of Vinnie, he looks like he is in hog heaven. Literally! His buddy Taco is sitting next to him at the announce booth, with a pair of novelty “alien antennae” on him. Vinnie is wearing a particularly cringy pair of wide alien-eyed sunglasses as well as a tee shirt reading I CAME TO AREA 51 TO PHONE HOME”

The crowd filled with tourists waving inflatable little green men, is going wild as Anarchy comes to life and the cameras settle on Vinnie at his booth.

Vinnie Lane “HOLY CRAP THIS IS THE BEST! For real, I have been sending messages via ham radio… oops, sorry dude…”

Taco: “Onk.”

Vinnie Lane: “Yeah anyway I’ve been using my own personal SETI array back at the Palisades for years. I’ve never gotten anything back, but dude this might be it! This might be the night I make THIRD CONTACT with alien life! First was Azrael existing. Second was that snafu when I impregnated an alien impersonating Sasha Grey and let a murderous hybrid monster out on the loose somewhere in Russia. Good times! I’m sure nothing bad will happen tonight though, third time’s the charm!”

[Image: gR8affl.png]

Broken Oswald
- vs -
Last Man Standing!

Broken Oswald’s friends in BOB show up at the ramp and start clapping and hollering for their newest member to arrive.

As this happens, Oswald starts coming up from the center of the stage, red smoke billowing from where he is emerging. He walks out with an ornate cane, images of skulls in gold and silver. He walks forward with it, not even needing it, using it as a prop just to show his "status" to the world. His hair tied into a tight bun laid against the back of his skull. He flips his cane in his hand, holding the base and swinging the topper from left to right as the crowd chants "DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!" The topper of the cane is shown to reveal a platinum skull with horns literally made of onyx attached to the forehead of it. As he walks to the steps he smirks and says to the crowd ""You'll learn what to chant soon enough!" Once to his corner, he takes off all of the top portion of his suit, from jacket to dress shirt, including his tie before placing full attention onto his opponent.

Vinnie Lane: “There’s Ghost Tank. He owes me a wig.”

The music for Randall “Ruckus” Rollins hits, but nobody emerges. The crowd looks deflated, and Oswald and the rest of BOB just seem confused.

Vinnie Lane: “Weird… I know Ruckus was here, I saw him slapping around the guys in charge of catering backstage earlier. Taco, is that dude going to be okay?”

[Image: 1miUf2G.gif]

Taco: “Onk.”

Vinnie Lane: “Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaang. Broken eardrum? That sucks, man! Anyway, I have no idea where Ruckus is presently, I… wait…”

Vinnie pulls up a ham radio (sorry again, Taco, no disrespect) and places it on the announce booth. It’s humming and beeping like crazy.

Vinnie Lane: “Something’s coming through! I knew it, dude! I knew it would happen! Todd, get this signal up on the Tron!”

Vinnie is shouting into his earpiece at Todd Moschitti, the head of production for XWF programming. The Anarcho-Tron comes alive and we see Todd in his same old beanie that he’s always worn,

[Image: 18580.png]

Yeah that one. So there’s Todd, right? And he messes with the gadgets and doodads in the production truck. Then, the picture on the Tron changes to show fuzzy footage of grey aliens! They’ve got Ruckus! Ruckus is wriggling but can’t break free from the strange tractor beam type thing that’s lifting him up in the air, and soon we don’t have to look at the tron anymore because we can see Ruckus levitating up over the roof of the Inn! He gets yeeted up into the clouds, and we go back to Vinnie at ringside, whose mouth is hanging open in disbelief.

Vinnie Lane: “I uh… wow. I guess Tank wins?”

Winner by Opponent Being Abducted - Broken Oswald

As soon as the bell rings with the decision, Oswald starts jumping up and down like he just won game seven of the world series. Graves and the THUGS join him, because by god, Ghost Tank has won a match on Anarchy!

Vinnie Lane: “Welp, I hated this. I hope Ruckus isn’t getting probed. But I mean, he probably is. You know why.”

[Image: aliens.jpg]

[Image: gR8affl.png]

Zane Norrison
- vs -
Minka Arzegotti

Zane Norrison comes out in zombielike fashion, however that looks. It appears he may have spent the night getting probed himself because he is looking ROUGH. That’s a bad hangover if I’ve ever seen one.

Norrison gets to the ring and tries his best not to toss his cookies.

Vinnie Lane: “Been there, dude. I didn’t really know zombies could get drunk, did you Taco?”

Taco “Onk.”

Vinnie Lane: “You slipped WHAT into his drink? Formaldehyde???”

Taco: “Onkonkonk.”

Vinnie Lane: “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.”

The Tron then goes from showing Andy Ballsack or whoever doing various wrestley things to the interior of a spaceship. We can see Ruckus there, all stuck inside some goo.

[Image: 5K5S.gif]

And then Minka Arzegotti walks into view, holding some flyers.

Minka: “Have you seen my brother, Luca? Mister? Have you seen this boy before?”

Minka sticks a flyer into the creaming face of Ruckus, who shakes his head vigorously and wails for help. Minka then moves on to showing her flyers to some of the aliens.

Minka: “What about you? Did you ever meet Luca Arzegotti? I heard he knew an alien once.”

The alien shrugs and points to another alien, who looks annoyed at his peer for pawning off the young girl onto him. The new alien also shakes his head no when shown the flyer. Minka walks off screen.

Vinnie Lane: “Oh, so, like, I guess Minka is on the UFO too? Man, she is REALLY putting some hard work into finding someone that most people would be super happy to have gone forever. But what are we gonna do about Zane?”

Just then, three aliens warp down into the ring. They surround Zane and start creeping closer to him… and the bell rings?

Zane Norrison
- vs -
Three Aliens

Okay, sure, whatever.

One alien charges at Zane but Norrison sidesteps and the alien runs right into one of the other aliens. They both collapse into a pile of really skinny and really bendy arms and legs. Zane looks at the third alien, who begs off into a corner. Zane isn’t having it though. Zane runs right at the alien and gives it a helluva kick right between the gigantic fishbowl eyes on its head. If it had a nose, that would have broken it.

One of the first two aliens jumps knot Norrison’s back and starts trying to choke him out, but Zane flails back and forth and eventually succeeds in flipping the alien forward off of his back and onto the mat. He then jumps into the air and lands hard on the alien’s massive forehead with a knee drop.

The last remaining alien grabs Zane from behind as well, looking for some sort of grip around his waist. Zane reaches back and grabs the bulbous head behind him, nailing his In The Wake Of Death skywalker DDT!

Zane then gathers up all three dizzy aliens and sends them whipped into the ropes one at a time, catching each one in front of him as they rebound back until he’s got three aliens bear hugged tightly against his front together...and then hits a triple Doomed Nation!!!

Vinnie Lane: “Those aliens have some bobbly heads, dude, and they all knocked together pretty hard just there!”

Zane sprawls himself out over all three unconscious extra terrestrials.




Winner by Triple Pinfall - Zane Norrison

Vinnie Lane: “This show is getting weirder and weirder dudes. Do you agree, Taco?”

Taco: “Indeed I do, my good man.”

Vinnie Lane: “Yeah… hey wait! Did everyone hear that or was it just me???”

Taco: “Onk.”

Vinnie Lane: “That’s better. We need to get things back to normal around here. Let’s head to our… ugh… our alien abduction match. Why do I keep doing this to myself?”

[Image: gR8affl.png]

- vs -
Miss Fury
Alien Abduction Match!

The winner will be whichever competitor forces their opponent into a small UFO near ringside and closes the door!

bloodbit & STRIDER - Transcending Fury begins to play as Miss Fury makes her onto the ramp, posing for the crowd.

Vinnie Lane: "This match has a VERY original stipulation: you have to beat your opponent down SOOOOO badly, that you can fit them inside the alien spaceship at ringside and close the door."

A fan behind Vinnie can be heard saying 'You mean like a Casket Match?'

Vinnie Lane: "It's not a Casket Match, that would require a casket! THIS is an Alien Spaceship, HUGE difference!"

Just as Miss Fury begins heading down the aisle, Mastermind runs out and Clotheslines her from behind.

Vinnie Lane: "It looks like Mastermind didn't wanna wait any longer!"

The Leader of the Misfits brings Miss Fury to her feet and drags her over to the ring, smashing her face against the apron. He shows off for a minute, then grabs a chair from under the ring and smashes it against his opponent's back.

Vinnie Lane: "Miss Fury might not get a chance to defend herself, at this rate!"

Mastermind drops the chair and lifts Fury up, before bringing her back down hard against the side of the ring. The referee pops his head between the ropes and orders Mastermind to get her in the ring so the match can start. MM does as he requests, laughing as he rolls the B.O.B. member in and follows close behind.


Vinnie Lane: "And this match is officially under way."

Mastermind stalks his opponent from the corner, waiting for her to stand up. Once she's made it to her feet, the Master of Minds charges at Miss Fury for a Spear attempt. Fury sees this just in time and Leap Frogs MM, causing him to go shoulder first into the ring post. Miss Fury follows it up with a Low Blow, before climbing through the ropes and to the top. Once there, she grabs Mastermind's legs and puts him in a modified Boston Crab, using the turnbuckle to stretch his back out.

Vinnie Lane: "This Fury's Gate looks a little different, but it certainly works all the same. Might not make an opponent submit, but will certainly wear them out enough to shove 'em into a UFO!"

Mastermind fights his way out of the awkward position he's in, slipping his top half out of the ropes and using his core muscles to sit up. Him and Fury get face to face, where MM starts hammering away. Eventually, Miss Fury lets go of his legs and grabs at her face. This allows for Mastermind to put his right hand on his opponent's chest and shove her off the top rope, all the way out to the floor as the fans gasp in horror.

Vinnie Lane: "Fury landed awkwardly there!"

Mastermind slowly pulls himself up to the top rope, where he perches and waits for Miss Fury to get up. Once she does, MM jumps off and connects with a Top Rope Clothesline that knocks them both down.

Vinnie Lane: "Mastermind might've tweaked his bad knee with that move!"

Mastermind stretches out his leg for a moment, before getting up. Miss Fury tries to crawl away, but MM runs and Bulldogs her face into the ground. He then lifts her up onto his shoulder and begins making his way to the UFO.

Vinnie Lane: "Mastermind's looking to put it away right here!"

Just as Mastermind's about ready to throw his opponent inside, Miss Fury manages to slip behind him. As soon as her feet land, she immediately jumps up and hits a Dropkick to MM's back that sends him face first into the UFO.

Vinnie Lane: "Hey, now, don't break it! I got a great deal from a Ferengi and was hoping to use it again!"

Miss Fury walks over and smashes Mastermind's head against it.

Vinnie Lane: "...........or not."

Fury opens the door and tries to push Mastermind in, but he stretches out his arms, preventing her from doing so. After a bit of a struggle, MM lets go, for a split second, and elbows Miss Fury in the ribs. She lets go and grabs at them, allowing Mastermind to turn around and hit her with an Enzuigiri. He quickly gets back to his feet and brings Fury with him, locking in a Sleeper Hold that she flails desperately in response to.

Vinnie Lane: "He's gonna try to wear her down with the Mind Sleeper! If she goes out, he'll have no trouble getting her inside the cask......... uuuum, UFO."

Miss Fury rakes and claws at Mastermind's face, but he refuses to let go. She elbows him with both arms, trying to injure his ribs the way he did her's, but he doesn't react. Fury leans forward and takes a few steps towards the barricade, as things begin to look bleak for her. With her arms about limp, Miss Fury manages to kick her legs up onto the barrier and push off, forcing them both back and halfway into the UFO.

Vinnie Lane: "They're both so close! If one of them can just escape quick, force the rest of their opponent in, AND close the door, it'll be all over! It's really THAT simple!"

They turn into each other and exchange rights, choosing to fight rather than flee. Miss Fury gets a momentary upper hand with an Eye Poke, but a pissed off Mastermind responds by straight up choking her. He clutches at her throat, legitimately trying to kill her, as she gasps for air.

Vinnie Lane: "Wait a second, what is this?!"

Right before Mastermind can murder his teammate, Broken Oswald runs out from the back and levels him with a chair. He delivers 3 more, each one harder than the last, before pulling him out of the UFO and checking on Miss Fury.

Vinnie Lane: "Well that was anticlimactic."

Oswald helps Fury out of the UFO, before laying into Mastermind with a flurry of kicks. He follows it up with one more chair shot, before pointing to the UFO. Miss Fury nods, walking over and helping Broken Oswald pick Mastermind up. They toss him into the UFO and shut the door earning Miss Fury the victory.

Winner by… UFO - Miss Fury

Vinnie Lane: "As unfair as that was, I can't help but feel like Mastermind and the Misfits wouldn't have done the same thing!......... in fact, they HAVE! UFO excluded, of course."

Miss Fury picks up the steel chair and begins bashing it against Vinnie's investment, as Broken Oswald does the same with the steel steps.

Vinnie Lane: "There goes my deposit!"

[Image: gR8affl.png]

Micheal Graves
- vs -
Tula Keali'i

A thick fog rolls onto the entrance ramp as the opening riff of Unholy blares throughout the arena. Suddenly a bolt of lightning strikes the stage and in the flash, Micheal Graves appears seemingly out of thin air. Graves walks down the ring to a mixed reaction. At the bottom of the ramp, he takes a running start and slides under the bottom rope into the ring. Graves stands up and raises his arms out to his sides like a cross. He slowly lifts his head up, looking to the sky as the lights fade in.

"Fury Oh Fury" by Nico Vega begins to play as Tula Kealiʻi walked out onto the ramp. She makes her way down the aisle, smiling and waving for the fans, before climbing into the ring. Tula shoots Graves a look to show she won't be intimidated by her much larger foe.

Vinnie Lane: "Tula seems about as impressed with Graves as he is of her."

The Dark Warrior just leans in the corner, ignoring his opponent's stares. With both competitors in the ring, ready to go, the referee calls for the bell.


Micheal Graves immediately comes out of the corner charging, but Tula is ready and greets him with a Back Elbow Strike that sends him stumbling. She then takes him down by his arm, wraps her legs around it and locks in an Armbar. Before Kealiʻi can apply too much pressure, Graves manages to stand up and pin his opponent's shoulders down in an awkward Schoolboy.




Vinnie Lane: "Some quick thinking by the Dark Warrior to prevent this match from being over before its even begun!"

The kickout forces Tula to break her hold, allowing Graves to gain the upper hand with a hard kick to the back of Kealiʻi's head as she tries to get up. Micheal then picks his opponent up in his arms and delivers a hard knee to Tula's ribs, before tossing her over his head for a Fall Away Slam. The Dark Warrior basks in the spotlight for a minute as Keali'i rolls around in pain.

Vinnie Lane: "There's a considerable size difference between the two, it may be too much for Tula to overcome!"

Micheal Graves brings Tula to her feet and whips her to the ropes. On the rebound, he attempts a Clothesline but Keali'i manages to duck it and bounce off the other side. She goes for a Crossbody, but the Dark Warrior catches her in mid-air. He then places her upright and goes for a Neckbreaker, but Tula manages to slip her head out at the last second and Backslide Graves into a pin.




Vinnie Lane: "Tula almost stole one right there!"

Tula wastes no time, getting back up and nailing a vicious Knee to the side of Grace's head. He collapses to the mat and Keali'i quickly rolls him over and hooks the leg.




Vinnie Lane: "Graves is gonna forget all about B.O.B. after that one!"

Keali'i makes her way over to Graves' head and locks in a Triangle Hold, taking advantage of her last shot. Micheal tries to fight his way out of it, but Tula's got it locked in tight thanks to her MMA experience. Graves attempts to drag her towards the ropes, but the effort only further tightens his opponent's grip. Just as it looks like things might be bleak for the Dark Warrior, he manages to gain one last surge of energy, enough to hoist Tula up high in the air and down to the mat for a sickening Powerbomb. The impact immediately causes her to break the hold and flatten against the mat.

Vinnie Lane: "Tula looks like she could be out cold! Graves needs to hurry and take advantage of it while he can!"

Micheal Graves slowly crawls toward his opponent, worn down by her last hold. Eventually, after way more time than he would've liked, Graves manages to get an arm draped over Tula.




Vinnie Lane: "No, wait! The ref's saying she got her foot on the rope JUST in time!"

Micheal Graves sits up and glares at the referee, arguing over the count. The ref kicks the rope, causing Micheal to look at Tula's leg, still resting on it. He stomps over to it, steps on the rope, and drives himself down onto it in rage. Tula cries out, grabbing her leg in agony.

Vinnie Lane: "I think I heard something snaps! That's over 250 pounds coming down right on the kneecap! I'll be surprised if Tula can even stand after that!"

Graves laughs at the carnage, almost getting a little bit TOO much pleasure out of it. He then brings Tula to her feet and lets go, causing her leg to collapse under her. She falls to the mat in shame as Micheal points and laughs, sadistically, at her pain.

Vinnie Lane: "Now he's just toying with her!"

Once he's had enough, Micheal Graves lifts Tula up onto his shoulders and delivers a Death Valley Driver that lands perfectly.

Vinnie Lane: "Grave Digger! Tula's gonna need one!"

Micheal Graves covers.




Vinnie Lane: "I don't know how wise this is on Tula's part, sometimes you gotta live to fight another day!"

Micheal Graves storms to his feet and kicks the bottom rope. He then turns around and shakes his head, fed up with her tenacity. Graves signals for the end, before standing Tula up and placing her head between his legs. He manages to hoist Keali'i up but she somehow manages to slip behind him, pulling on his head for a Dragon Sleeper. She drags him down into position and tightens the hold as the fans go crazy.

Vinnie Lane: "Is Graves gonna tap???"

The Dark Warrior pries and pulls, but he can't do anything about it. He reaches out for the ropes, but they're just out of reach. After a few more moments of fighting, Graves eventually taps out.

Winner: Tula Keali'i via submission

Vinnie Lane: "I don't know how she pulled it off, but Tula Keali'i just made Micheal Graves tap out!"

[Image: gR8affl.png]

Ruby & Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Escape Area 51 Match!

The teams will be locked into the mysterious military facility and each will have two keys. ALL FOUR KEYS will be needed to escape the compound... what secrets will they uncover as they battle one another through the hallowed halls???

Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and germs, it’s time for a return to XWF that a lot of people never wanted to see! A good, uh, friend of my fiance’s, the former Anarchy Champion, Sarah Lacklan! She’s here tonight teaming with the woman she lost her title to! WEIRD RIGHT? Ruby was pretty confused about the whole thing too, but she’s a really good sport. A SUPER sport, if you catch my drift!”

The screen switches to security cam footage inside the Area 51 compound. Right off the bat we can tell things are fishy because Tommy Wish and John Black are already together, whereas Sarah and Ruby are separated as they were supposed to be to start things off.

Vinnie Lane: “How did the THUGS find each other so soon? This doesn’t seem right… they’ve got a pretty clear advantage right at the moment already!”

The four-way feed switches to three-way as we focus on Ruby and Sarah wandering around through the compound. Sarah seems content taking selfies in front of various restricted areas, and actually gets caught pulling her top out and sticking her phone down into her bustier for a sext to her wife Kenzi.

Ruby on the other hand is diligently looking behind every door and in every closed locker she passes, looking for clues. She jots down notes and marks each room after she clears it as a reminder, as well as leaving a note for Sarah and an arrow pointing the direction she left in. In bright lime, of course.

In the third frame, the THUGS look like they’ve decided on a direction to move in and they head through the corridors as a unit. They each have a weapon in hand from the surroundings as well - Tommy has found a big wrench from a toolbox, and JB has broken a board off of a pallet and has it slung over his shoulder.

Eventually Sarah finds herself in one of the rooms Ruby has already checked. She takes a long look at the green arrow pointing out to the right and… heads out through the left?

Vinnie Lane: “I think Sarah is trying to find the THUGS and take them out by herself? Why else would she go the wrong way like that? I mean… Ruby can be a LITTLE bit of a nag, I guess, but still…”

Ruby finds herself in what looks like a surgical unit. She dutifully checks each hospital bed looking for clus but finds only various alien remains in different states of autopsy. Until the last one, of course, when she pulls the sheet back and…

[Image: tenor.gif?itemid=12272832]

Ruby looks STOKED to uncover the mysteries of the universe, but that’s when Tommy Wish and John Black kick open the opposite door! The THUGS rush Ruby but stop short when they see what’s on the table.

Tommy Wish: “What the hell???”

John Black: “Oh FUCK no!”

THUGS then goes to town slamming their weapons into the alien on the gurney, turning it to light green hamburger meat in no time. Ruby is shocked and tries to step in but gets shoved aside and is unable to assist the intergalactic pilgrim before his head is turned to mush by Wish and Black.

Ruby manages to shove the THUGS away with a bum rush then, causing them to drop their weapons. She looks to try and attempt CPR on the dead ET, but Tommy grabs her from behind before she can begin chest compressions properly (she’s certified). Tommy holds Ruby’s arms while JB goes to town treating her like a heavy punching bag in a boxing gym.

Ruby manages to get her feet off the floor and mule kicks JB away before flipping backward over Wish and landing with her arms around his head, squeezing in a sleeper hold. THE DAMN NUMBERS GAME catches up to her, however, when Black finds his wooden plank and breaks it over Rub’s head, knocking her out. Tommy coughs and sputters while JB pats him on the back, and then he grabs the green key dangling from around Ruby’s neck and snatches it off, giving the THUGS one of the two keys they need to escape.

Vinnie Lane: “There’s that advantage! THUGS have three of the four keys in their possession now, leaving just Sarah Lacklan’s up for grabs! Speaking of Sarah…”

The camera view showing Sarah Lacklan in a restroom. She looks to be writing on the wall with a tube of lipstick, and when the focus zooms in we see, indeed, she has written “For a good time, call Roxy Cotton - 1-900-555-3825”

Vinnie Lane: “Hey! That’s not even her number!”

Sarah then washes her hands and rolls her eyes when she sees that there’s no other way to dry them than one of those weak air machines that never really dries them properly. She leaves the bathroom and opens a closet, looking for towels or linens of some kind but only finding a bunch of boring blueprints for things like time machines and flying saucers. She dries her hands on them and crumples them up before tossing them into a trash can.

When she turns to the government-mandated gender neutral bathroom though, she catches Wish and Black coming out together. She immediately breaks down cackling.

Tommy Wish: “What??? We both had to shit!”

John Black: “Yeah! Don’t get no dumbass ideas!”

Sarah Lacklan: “You have toilet paper on your shoe.”

Tommy looks down behind him and Sarah leaps for him with a superman punch that jawjacks the living dogshit out of him, sending him sprawling. When Lacklan lack-lands, she sees she has his key in her hand. It’s got a white fob.

Sarah Lacklan: “Oh no. Vinnie, you didn’t. JB, what’s your key look like?”

John holds up the key dangling around his neck, and the fob on it is a dark intimidating black, much like himself.

Sarah Lacklan: “God damn it.”

Sar shakes her head and holds her forehead in her hand, but then explodes in another superman punch attempt. JB has it scouted though! He spears Lacklan in midair, driving her spine-first into the wall. He stands there shoving his shoulder into Lacklan’s midsection repeatedly while Sarah is reduced to just throwing some largely ineffectual hamer fists into his upper back.

Sarah looks like she’s weakening, but then she scissors her legs around JB and squeezes with all her might. Her leg day routine being friggin’ LEGENDARY, Black starts to run out of steam. Slowly his arms begin to just dangle at his sides and Sarh is able to slip her own arm around his head, sinking in a guillotine choke. Black sinks to the floor, but then Wish makes a save with a simple stomp to the face of Lacklan.

Black rolls off of Sarah, snoring, probably not the first guy to ever do so. Tommy then looks to pull away the red key from Sarah’s chain. Sarah grabs onto it though, not letting Wish yank it right off of her. They struggle over the key for several seconds and then a ceiling tile slides to the side above them, and Ruby drops down from above in a superhero pose! She grabs Tommy Wish and sends him crashing into the trash bins. Her eyes grow wide when she sees the blueprints, but Lacklan screeches at her to get the key from John Black instead.

Ruby grimaces but dutifully snags the black key off the black man, leaving Team SarRuby in possession of all four keys!

Vinnie Lane: “The voiceover probably told you already dudes, but they’ve got all four keys now! They just have to book it down that main hall to the exit!”

They do, indeed, book it. The two partners reach the main exit a few moments later, and they see the four colored locks hanging from the chains keeping the doors closed.

Sarah goes at the red and white locks, popping them open and dropping them on the floor before feeding the chains out of the door. Ruby does the same with the green and black locks, and soon enough the door is ready for egress.

Sarah flings the door open and walks out of the building into the night and a large billboard of her face lights up high overhead to indicate her escape.

Sarah Lacklan: “VINNIE! You used my bad side!”

Vinnie Lane: “Oops. Rox gave me the photo, sorry Sarah!”

Back in the compound, Ruby is about to head out the door when Tommy and JB both jump her from behind and start dragging her away.

Sarah looks ready to rush back in and help, but JB breaks away from the double team and cuts her off, meeting her outside while a second billboard depicting his own face lights up.

In the hallways, Wish has Ruby pretty beaten down, and he looks like he’s ready to finish her off with a pumphandle slam into the hard tile floor. Ruby twists in midair though and drops Wish in a Ruby Cutter! Wish is splayed out, but Ruby barely has the strength to crawl toward the door on her hands and knees.

Back outside, JB flips Lacklan over and behind him with a big back drop, then heads to go back into the compound for his partner, but he doesn’t realize Sarah has landed on her feet behind him! Lachlan spins around and sends a hard knee into JB’s kidneys and then grabs him by the head… ABYSS!!! John Black’s head concaves the soil underneath him and Lacklan runs over to a crawling Ruby, who is equally unaware that Tommy Wish has gotten back to his feet and is staggering after her.

Vinnie Lane: “What a match! This thing is coming down to the wire!”

Ruby gets her hands on the doorway right as Tommy Wish gets her by the ankle, and she can’t kick him away! Sarah Lacklan runs over and grabs her partner’s hands with her own, then pulls backward with all of her might, putting every minute of #ExtraSquats in the gym to the test, and falling backward onto the dirt with Ruby on top of her! A billboard of Ruby lights up and both hers and Sarah’s gain a bright green border, signifying their team victory!

Winners by Escape of Area 51 - Team SarRuby

Vinnie Lane: “They did it! The unlikely duo have defeated the THUGS of BOB!”

As they stand and dust themselves off, Ruby pulls a mask out of her pocket and hands it to Sarah Lacklan… will she accept?

[Image: gR8affl.png]

"Big Beautiful" Bobbi London
- vs -
Big D
Internet Rules!


"X-Men Theme" by Powerglove hits over the PA system as the fans give a mixed reaction. Big D walks out onto the ramp with the Internet Championship over his shoulder and a smirk on his face.

Vinnie Lane: "Big D may have the belt in his possession, but that does NOT make him Champion.............not yet, at least."

Big D holds the Title above his head for a moment before putting it back on his shoulder and making his way down the aisle. He slides under the bottom rope and into the ring, where he stands up and poses with the belt.

Vinnie Lane: "He better enjoy it while he can, because Bobbi London is gonna do everything in her power to leave with what's rightfully her's."

A cocky Big D leans against the corner with 'his' Championship, awaiting his opponent.

“The Sickest C*nt” by Enkay1er begins to play as the lights turn up all through the arena. Bobbi emerges through the crowd, microphone in hand as she sings along with the words to her rather obnoxious and crude theme song. She prompts the fans to sing along with her, to the delight of the young fans and shock and embarrassment of the older people and parents, who attempt to cover their children’s ears. Bobbi slowly rolls over the barricade as she finally climbs into the ring, continuing to rap and dance terribly as the fans go wild.

"Yea, you's stole me belt but you's can't steal me swag,
And ya can't change the fact that your mum's a fat slag!
Big Beaut Bobbi's the Internet Champ, Big D's just whack,
He needed me belt to hide his plumber's crack.
Now ring the bloody bell, it's time to settle scores, mate,
Bobbi London's what's big here, D's just lowercase!"

Bobbi London points at her belt, then herself, to which Big D grins and makes a motion like he's bowling. London nods her head, laughing sarcastically, before taking a step forward and hitting D with a sudden right causing him to drop the Internet Championship. The ref quickly grabs the Title and calls for the bell.


Vinnie Lane: "And this No Hold Barred Match is underway!"

Bobbi follows her initial strike up with three more, backing D against the ropes. She grabs his arm and whips him to the opposite side, nailing a Discus Clothesline on the way back. Big D quickly gets back up, but has no idea where he is, causing him to walk into a Sidewalk Slam by London, who lifts a leg for the cover.




Vinnie Lane: "If the weed hasn't scrambled Big D's brain yet, those last few moves certainly did!"

Bobbi gets up and allows her opponent to do the same. As soon as Big D makes it to his feet(using the ropes to do so), London charges at him and Clotheslines D over the top rope to the outside; celebrating as her fans go nuts.

Vinnie Lane: "And this is why they love her!"

Bobbi London follows Big D to the outside, through the ropes, leaning him against the barricade. She delivers a Chop to D's chest that causes him to howl in pain as he clutches it. London follows it up with an Irish Whip towards the steel steps, but Big D manages to stop himself before he hits them. He then turns around to see the Internet Champion charging at him, managing to catch Bobbi at the last second, sending her over his head into the stairs with a Belly to Belly Suplex.

Vinnie Lane: "Bobbi London just Anderson Silva'd her knee on the Steel steps!"

The Internet Champion immediately grasps at her leg, writhing in pain as she does so. Big D gets to his feet and grabs a chair from someone in the front row, making his way back over to Bobbi after. He moves her leg so it's resting against the steps, before raising the chair above his head and swinging down. At the last second, London slides her leg out of harm's way, causing D to smack the chair against the steps and out of his hands. He turns around and gets met with a Headbutt to the gut from a downed Bobbi London. She struggles to her feet and kicks Big D right in the balls, making him bend over in pain. Bobbi then hoists him up onto her shoulders and Powerbombs him into the rug apron, dropping to her knees as she does so.

Vinnie Lane: "Bobbi London can barely stand! If that move didn't finish him, she might be in trouble"

The Champion takes a deep breath and hobbles to her feet. She grabs her opponent and rolls him into the ring, taking a second to recollect herself. Eventually, she rolls into the ring and gets up, as Big D does the same in the corner. Bobbi London runs at him, attempting a Stinger Splash, but D moves out of the way. London bounces off the turnbuckle and into Big D's arms, allowing him to perform a picture perfect German Suplex. As soon as she collides against the mat, Big D covers her.




Vinnie Lane: "Bobbi London just barely kicks out of that one! You gotta wonder how much that leg's hurting her, though."

Big D stands up and heads for the ropes, climbing through to the outside. He lifts up the ring skirt, looking under for a weapon, eventually pulling out a trash can. D turns back towards the ring, only to be surprised by a sudden, sloppy Baseball Slide from Bobbi London that sends him and the can flying back. Bobbi reaches down and grabs at her leg, a look of anguish on her face.

Vinnie Lane: "It looks like that dropkick hurt her just as much as it did Big D, if not more!"

Bobbi slowly tries to pull herself up by the ropes, but Big D gets up and grabs her injured leg. London struggles to fight back, with D slamming her ankle against he hard part of the apron, causing her to fall backwards to the mat. Big D wipes the sweat(and shame) from his face, before turning is attention back under the ring. He quickly comes back up, peeking over the top to make sure there weren't any more surprises, before revealing a Kendo Stick in his right hand. D climbs onto the ring apron, only to get his legs kicked out from under him by Bobbi's undamaged one. His face smacks against the side of the ring, forcing him to drop his weapon. Big D slaps the ground in anger before climbing back up the side of the ring, where Bobbi London greets him with a right. She then grabs hold of D and gets him into Suplex position, only for her leg to go out as she hoists him up, allowing him to slip behind her. Big D picks Bobbi up for a Dan Slam but, as he goes to spin her around, she shifts her weight, causing D to fall over with London on top of him. Bobbi grabs his legs and hooks 'em for a cover.




Vinnie Lane: "Bobbi almost pulled one over Big D's eyes right there!"

Bobbi London stands up and shakes the kinks out of her leg, before bringing Big D to his feet and delivering a Chokeslam. Again, Bobbi hooks the leg for a cover.




Vinnie Lane: "I can only assume Bobbi's trying to finish this one quick in order to spare her leg anymore unnecessary punishment."

London sits up for a moment, stretching her leg before getting back to her feet. She stalks her opponent from the corner, as Big D slowly climbs up on the other side. Bobbi charges at him and, this time, nails a Stinger Splash that dazes D. The Internet Champion then lifts the challenger up and sits him on the top turnbuckle, before climbing to the second rope.

Vinnie Lane: "This is NOT a spot you'd usually find either of these competitors in!"

Bobbi tries to pull Big D back for a Superplex, but he manages to grab ahold of the rope. London fights to deliver the move, but D won't budge, instead fighting back with multiple rights. The two of them trade blows, until the challenger gets the upper hand with a kick to the Champion's injured leg that causes her to fall off the rope and against the mat. Big D slowly climbs to the top, signaling for a big move as the fans rise. He jumps off, connecting with the same Top Rope Leg Drop that won him a World Championship. As he lands, London's body flops and D grabs her leg for a pin.




Vinnie Lane: "I thought it was a 3, but the ref is signaling it's just a two count! Bobbi London JUST managed to hold onto her Title right there. She's got the heart of a Champion, that's for sure."

Big D screams in frustration, before slither backwards to the outside. Once again, he searches under the ring for assistance, this time pulling out a table. He takes his time unfolding the legs and setting it up, giving Bobbi London some time to recover. With the table ready and in place outside the ring, D climbs back into the apron where he's met with a Thunderous Right Hook that about knocks his lights out. With him teetering on the apron by one hand, Bobbi climbs out and joins D. She pulls him in close and tosses him off the side of the ring and through the table with a Capture Suplex as the crowd goes crazy.

Vinnie Lane: "That could be all she wrote, IF Bobbi can get Big D back in the ring."

London sits on the apron for a bit, catching her breath, before climbing down and heading over to D. She tries to drag him to his feet, but he immediately collapses back down to the ground. Bobbi uses the strength she has left to lift Big D onto her shoulders and roll him back into the ring. The Champion follows closely. hind, climbing on top of her opponent for a cover.




Vinnie Lane: "Bobbi London can't believe Big D kicked out of that one! I'm just as surprised as she is, as I'm sure the audience is as well!"

Bobbi gets up, bring Big D with her, before attempting an Irish Whip. D manages to reverse it, pulling London towards him where he takes her down and tries to lock in his patented finishing maneuver.

Vinnie Lane: "The Big D Face Cruncher! If he can lock it in, Bobbi will have no choice but to tap out!"

Big D struggles to lock the hold in, as Bobbi fights to keep his hands away. She grabs D around his wrists, holding his arms in place, while making her way to a knee. London manages to stand up, still in complete control of the situation, delivering a powerful Backbreaker that forces Big D to break the hold.

Vinnie Lane: "The fans can't get enough of the Champ's tenacity, she's taking everything D's throwing at her!"

Bobbi London gets up and pulls Big D right up with her. She whips him to the ropes and catches him in a Bear Hug on the way back. The Champion applies pressure as D reaches out for anything that can possibly help him escape, only to find nothing. He cries out as Bobbi squeezes tighter and tighter, causing his arms to slowly drop. Before he can go out, however, Big D delivers a hard Elbow Strike that cracks Bobbi's skull wide open. He follows it up with a Rake to the Eyes, which force his opponent to drop him. D lands on his feet and drops back to the ropes, charging back at the Champion. At the last second, Bobbi London manages to catch D and toss him into the air, catching him across her shoulders as she throws all of her massive weight backwards with a Samoan drop, laying across for the cover.




Vinnie Lane: "I can't believe he kicked out of Bobbi's 'Bye Bye Barbie'! Big D is going toe to toe with the Champion, proving he's just as tenacious as she is. But will it be enough?"

A tired Bobbi London rolls to the outside and hobbles along the side of the ring, using the apron to keep her up. She makes her way over to the time keeper where she grabs her Internet Championship and slides back into the ring with it. Bobbi gets up and waits for Big D to rise, which he does very slowly. As he does so, Bobbi yells to him about the belt being hers, before swinging at his head with it. D ducks the blow and kicks Bobbi in the gut, causing her to drop the Title. Big D then grabs her head and delivers a DDT right onto the Championship, busting London open. It takes D a bit to crawl over to his opponent, rolling her over, and essentially hug her for a cover.



THRE-NO KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinnie Lane: "What's it gonna take for EITHER of them to put the other away?!"

Big D rises to a knee, putting a hand on the mat and looking down. He shakes his head in astonishment before standing up and signaling for the end. D bends down and wraps his arms around Bobbi London's waste, using whatever strength he has left to pop his hips and hoists Bobbi up, directly into Dan Slam position. With all the power he can muster, Big D violently swings his opponent around and connects with his finishing maneuver, laying flat on the mat with an arm draped over the Champion.




Vinnie Lane: "Bobbi London is superhuman!!!! I don't even think I could handle all the punishment these two have put each other through!"

Big D bashes his head against the mat, unsure if he has anything left in the tank. He backs into a corner and sits there for a bit, nodding his head and clapping for Bobbi.

Vinnie Lane: "I can't tell if Big D is ACTUALLY showing Bobbi London respect, or just taunting her."

Big D waits as Bobbi London slowly makes her way up to a knee, allowing him to creep up behind her. D, once again, uses all his might to hoist Bobbi up for a Dan Slam except, this time, London manages to escape before he can hit it. She lands on her feet in front of him and whips D to the ropes. On the rebound, Bobbi catches Big D and tosses him into her shoulders. As she goes for the Samoan Drop, however, Big D manages to use the combination of momentum, as well as they weight, to spike Bobbi onto her head in a Crucifix Style pin. For extra insurance, Big D reaches out and wraps his arms & legs around the bottom rope.

Vinnie Lane: "No holds barred, folks! This pin is as legal as a Suplex!"



Bobbi London tries to kick out, but the leverage D has from the ropes prevent her from doing so.


Winner by Pinfall and NEW XWF Internet Champion - Big D!!!

Vinnie Lane: "You can't help but feel like Bobbi London was a little cheated. Even though that pin WAS legal, it doesn't change the fact it was a last ditch effort from a desperate man."

Big D lays on his back, arms in the air, as Bobbi London rolls to the outside. She lays against the ring with her head in her hands, disappointed by the fact she allowed that cover to happen.

Vinnie Lane: "You can see the frustration on Bobbi's face. I don't think she expected to lose like THAT."

The referee hands Big D the Internet Championship and raises his arm. D hugs the Title before getting up and celebrating with it. He heads over to the corner, climbs to the second rope, and lifts it high above his head. All of a sudden, "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake begins to play as Big D and the fans look on in confusion.

Vinnie Lane: "I have no idea who this is, but I LOVE the choice of music!"

Everyone waits in anticipation as the song continues, with no-one appearing. It goes through a good chunk of the intro before Big D gets fed up and grabs a mic.

D: "Cut the music............CUT IT!"

The sound guy does as D requests, cutting the song off right before the hard part kicked in. As soon as the music cuts, an unknown voice fills the arena.


The lights cut out in the arena except for a single spotlight on the entrance ramp.

Vinnie Lane: "What is this?! Who the hell is THAT???"

Everyone looks on in anticipation, as a mysterious figure slowly emerges from the darkness, the light slowly revealing the face of the man behind the interruption.

[Image: 019_sWARRIOR_09051992_0007--15ea4ce2cc5a...4dddb0.jpg]

D: Who in the HELL are YOU?!"


MeFisto steps fully into the spotlight, revealing his sharp, toned, bulky physique. His great, bulging arms are wrapped with tassels and a glittery cape covers his sculpted backside. His face has no make-up, or a mask, just allllllllll MeFisto.

Vinnie Lane: "Wait a minute, I know this guy! I was gonna sign him to a contract, but we couldn't come to terms on a fair deal!"

D: "Well, that's all fine and dandy, 'brother', but I've never heard of you, these fans have never heard of you; hell, I'm not even convinced YOU know who the fuck you are!"


D(sighing): "Yes, you've said your name like a million times, but it doesn't change the fact that I know NOTHING about you......... other than the fact that you're bold enough to interrupt the Champion. So humor me, MeFisto, what is it that you want, exactly?"


D(laughing): "You want a shot at MY Internet Championship?! What makes you think you DESERVE one?!"


Vinnie Lane: "Oh, brother, this guy's a piece of work!.......... and now he's got me talking like him!"

Big D looks down at the mat, completely blown away by the audacity of this newcomer, before looking up and giving a response.

D: "I'm glad we can both agree that you DON'T deserve a shot. That being said, I'm feeling pretty generous tonight. I have every intention of being a fighting Champion and, at the risk of looking like Robert Main, I ACCEPT your challenge!"


MeFisto flexes and stares intimidatingly at Big D, who responds with four simple words.

D: "See you next Anarchy..........."

Big D tosses his mic into the crowd and lifts his Championship above his head. MeFisto continues to flex his muscles, posing for the crowd who have absolutely no clue how to react to what just transpired.

Vinnie Lane: "Well there you have it, folks, Big D will defend his newly won Internet Championship against the unknown force that is MeFisto on the next edition of Anarchy!"

Fade to black!

HUGE thanks to:

Big D!

[Image: dR5ZguS.png]
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Post: #2
06-27-2020 06:35 PM

"Taco! You roofied me with formaldehyde??? I'm not even sure how that would work, still not cool little piggy dude... not cool."

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1x X-Treme Champ
1x Hart Champion
1x SOTM November 2018
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