"Howdeh..." says Greggo. We're in his... office? It's actually pretty nice. And clean. Lots of books. Something seems off.

Anyway, Greggo swivels his chair around to face his computer. Greggo starts typing in his blog or something. He's all amped up like he just has something incredibly juicy to spill.

Here's what he ends up posting. Holy shit, this is huge news.

---

Proof of The Whizzer's involvement in the recent XWF sex scandal and current XWF management!

Look what Whizzy's entrance theme is. Right on his very own public profile you will see it listed.

Entrance Theme Music: Guile's Theme from Street Fighter

Now let's type the following address into our web browser:

or, for the lazy way

Oh well THAT'S pretty interesting! GUILE'S THEME!

Literally actually really FOR REAL hosted on the XWF's very own REAL website! WTF!

This is not something I or anyone else could make up. Look it up yourself and listen to that horrible ass Guile's theme being played right from XWF headquarters!

Wait, you know what this means?

HOLY

SHIT

BALLS

THE

WIZARD

IS

EITHER

A

CURRENT

XWF

STAFF

MEMBER

OR

OWNER

OR

MAYBE

RELATED

TO

OR

FRIENDS

WITH

ONE

OF

THEM!!!!

YIKES!!!!!

No, really. Show me all the other entrance themes you'll find the XWF paying out of pocket to host themselves right on their own server. Good luck with that! The list is shorter than Jim Jimson's dolphin dick! This isn't one of those old conspiracy theories my precious Shane used to spout out like candy semen drops, nope! This is real and cannot be denied! OMFG I can't get over this horse crap! And I like horse crap! I'm really good at getting over it, too! And on top of it! And getting all around it, as in my body enclosing the horse crap inside of it! But this is BAD!

So what else does this mean? How's this stuff all work? Am I going to get raped in my match? (I hope)

Damn, you know what? I wish Shane were here to help me but no matter how many times I rub my favorite fleshlight, Shane's spirit won't possess it. It's kind of depressing to think about how much Shane has been hanging out with OG Hired Gun lately but he won't show me the time of day. Like I'm some useless side shit show he only needs when he's horny and since he's just a ghost spirit now, he doesn't really get boners or any of that stuff anymore. Still kind of weird that he'd possess HG's fleshlight though. I wonder wtf he did with HG off camera.

Whatever. I'm over it. If Shane's going to play with HG instead of me then I'll just find some new BETTER friends!

---

That's the end of his online rant. His fingers hurt from typing so much. Just that one post took him around two hours to type, proof read, edit, delete, and retype.

Greggo is just kind of sitting there now, looking off to the side. Nothing happens. That's because he's not really sure where this promo is going next and he's just waiting for the promo director to tell him what to do next. Problem with that is there's no promo director. There is only... you guessed it... YOU!

"Oh for FUCK'S sake," you say. You can't believe that now, not only are you involved in this shitty promo, you have to DIRECT the rest of it!!!!???!?!? HAHAHA! Sucks to be you!

But the moment you step into the role, it consumes you. You become the most ruthless director to ever live! Rumored to have killed an actor back in the day! Known for grabbing wrestlers by the balls and popping them!

You yell at Greggo, "Get over there right now!" and with a swift boot to his ass, you send him careening over to the window and he crashes through it, falling out. You seriously lose your shit at this level of incompetence right now because you've got a schedule to keep. You take your baton and use it to break away the rest of the glass shards in the window frame before leaning out to see Greggo in a crumpled mess on the grass below. His body is contorted so fucked uppedly that it almost looks like a swastika, making this promo more authentically Nazi'fied than any "NAZI" promo you'll find on the network.

"Get up!" you yell down, but to no avail. You throw your cup of coffee and it splashes all over Greggo's face, instantly waking him up as he screams in pain! "Stop screwing around and go over by those bushes! I want you to cut a promo on the fact that The Wizard's beard keeps getting caught in random shit, including bushes and trees, which confirms 100% that it's a FAKE beard or it wouldn't get caught! Give me about 30 seconds on that and make sure you mention how he'll have no problem growing a real beard after you put a bunch of cum on his face of something. And, action!"

Wow, you got really specific with that directing! Just coming up with this on the fly like that is impressive, yo. There's a good chance you could become Greggo's full time director!

Greggo goes over to the bush and pokes his head through it, but gets a branch in his eye and spider web all over his face. He starts slapping at his face and spitting. Oh man, he got web (and spider (and spider's food (aka dead bugs))) in his mouth! Oh god no! Oh I don't care what you think about Greggo, there's no way you could ever wish something so gross on him!

"Hell yeah Greggo you eat that nasty spider! You deserve it!" ...welp, there ya go. Proving once again what a cold, heartless director you are. "Great work, Greggo! Show us more of exactly what happens when someone tries to mess around with shrubbery! This is good shit!" ...and while this display didn't exactly prove the point you were hoping Greggo would make, it still makes it into the final product, or else you wouldn't have just seen it.

Speaking of not seeing things... there were about 30 or 40 other small scenes you tried to get Greggo to act out, but he just kept passing out and bleeding all over. He also shat himself a few times but you insisted that he keep on keeping on. You were determined to direct Greggo straight to promo golden globes, or oscars, or slammies, or whatever promos get. THIS would be the toppest, number 1est promo of ALL TIME!

Next scene? Well, what's left to have Greggo really do?

Last two promos we saw stuff about sex and horses. We also saw some outlandishly cheap-as-hell attempt at a choose your own adventure kids' book. Both promos had some random cheap shots at Bilbo and The Wizard. I mean what's left?

But that's why I'm not the director.

You are.

"Alright, strip down!" - and strip down, Greggo did. You followed up that order with a quick, "And get rid of that god forsaken erection!"

…........................................................... the sound of tires screeching... CRASH!!

That's right. You just crashed this entire thing into a flaming wall of piss and shit! You fucked up: you just asked Greggo to get rid of his boner!

Greggo looks you up and down. He's all like, "Mmmmm, I was afraid you'd never ask meh. Mmmmmm, how'd ya like to help meh?" but before you could even think of saying no, he's already forcing your hand onto his throbbing, turgid, girthy love muscle. Greggo's bone of stone is fully grown and very prone to make you moan and take a tone that's overblown. That tone you take is loud and scary, causing Greggo to jump back in fright!

Somebody used their cell phone to record the part where you had your hand on Greggo's big ass dick and screamed at him. It basically looks like you tried to rip his dick off and this footage gets played on the news somewhere, making you look like a crazy perverted psycho while Greggo appears to be the innocent victim. Greggo claims his dick is broken and needs to be replaced, but you strongly suspect there was already something wrong with his dick before this incident. You see, during that brief moment where your hand embraced his warm cock, you felt some dried glue. Is it possible Greggo had glued his dick together after some previous mishap? Oh yeah, it's possible, and you were running with it (the idea; not his dick).

Alright so court happens, Greggo's got all kinds of pics of his dick from different years and in different situations, yada yada, etc, etc... the case drags on for what feels like years but probably has to be pretty short if it's done in time for Greggo to get to Warfare and ABSOLUTELY FUCK BILBO AND THE WIZARD IN THEIR ASSES!

Unfortunately, the court case takes longer than two weeks so what we're going to do is just let that happen in its own time and come back to the day before Warfare. With mere hours before Greggo's sexy ass encounter with The Wizard and Bilbo, what was on the mind of Shane 's very first sex druid back in the BC days?

Greggo's voice just comes out of nowhere for the end of this promo. That's how a lot of people end their promos though right? So it's fine? Like how the scene just ends and there's not really any explanation of how we got to the point of now we're hearing the dude cut a trash talk promo? Cool. I'm not going to let that happen here though. I'm going to make sure the work is put in to transition us and ease us right into Greggo's titty (I mean TT (aka trash talk)) time.

Is this little bit of extra work really so hard, guys? You know who you are.

Quote:Greggo's voice just comes out of nowhere for the end of this promo.

"Mmmmmm yeah and that fast here I am. This is the last stop for me before Warfare and all I gotta do is talk real bad about Dilblow and Whiztard. Well let's start with Bilbo the dildo- mmmmm, ugh, god damn, I just....... I just........

"Bilbo I f'n came while watching your promo. I couldn't be more serious. Seriously hot. If you don't get promo of the year then something is very wrong in the XWF such as what I revealed earlier about the Whizzer of Odd just being some loser XWF staff member in disguise. I even proved it by posting to my blog or something and showed the link people can find Whiz's theme song at, hosted right on XWF's server. Nobody else has that. Let's take this further and narrow down the names, mmmmmmm.... yeah. So many good choices.

"You're obviously Theo Pryce, Whiz. You think you can fool me? You think anyone else would be as clumsy and discombobulated when it comes to wearing a fake beard? Only you. Shane told me all about you back when you guys were good pals. You always were the clumsy, stupid one. Always thinking you can fool people and rape them. Well now you've tossed on a nightgown and become far more gay than you could have ever been before. Mmmmm good job man. Give me a holla holla when you want to take it a step further and finally fool people."

(echoing) "Hello... hello... hello... …...................."

"That's me calling all the way down to where you just got planted Whiznard. You been excreted and exposed times a million. Might as well call it quits unless you decide to accept my proposal.

"What proposal? Is that what some of you just asked? Well I asked Whiz to marry me this week. I said we should join forces to rape Mastermeh when he inserts his mini mind into our business. But that also depends on Methmind interfering in our match like I told him he should do. Mastermeh and Methmind are basically the same btw. So yeah, uhhhh, let's hope it all comes together. You guys think either of them will do as they were told or asked? Eh, fuck, I'm supposed to do this thing where I snap my fingers and multiple choices appear but I don't feel like it. I'm just gonna say you guys don't think they'll accept. Because they're both fucking stupid. Total dicktits if I ever saw them. Whizz is too busy getting exposed by me to wanna team with me, that loser. He really needs to get his priorities straight there. And Mingermind is like, REAL fuckin scared of Whizzer for some odd reason. Maybe because Whizz eliminated him at War Games but if MM has any sense he'd know 50/50 booking means he's sure to have the edge next time! That next time could be this attack! During my match! Come on Mastermind! Attack during the threeway tomorrow! Come! Come! Come!

"Last piece of proof that Whiz is a fake and needs to join me? Well now the original Hooded Man is back and proving to all of us what a phony the Whiz is! I'm too lazy to show you the footage but just look at the stuff people said after Whizzy announced their appearance at the local soup kitchen and you'll see the real Hooded Man just own own own mmmmmmmmm own like only he can own. Talk about gettin' hoodwinked.

"Everybody record this before it gets flagged and taken down. Re-post it in as many places as you can. Get the word out and DEMAND that the XWF force The Whizzer to reveal their birth certificates in full. Also demand Mastermeh to interfere tomorrow and demand Whizz to marry me.

"Oh holy crap in a lap! What's this we just found? Just aired an hour ago from Whizzy itself! Is it an answer to my proposal or his own rape sentence? Let's look and listen to the clip."

Whizztard Said:When I’m XWF Champion and people head over to my Wikipedia page to find out when and where it all started, they’ll see the names Greggo and Bilbo. That’s about the best I can offer.

"Here's me making a BUZZZZZZZZZER sound with my mouth and then yelling WROOOOOOOOOOOONG! When we see where you started, we will see the footage of you uploading your own stupid theme to XWF's website, you scammer. We'll see you being stripped and exposed naked by yours truly. Thanks loser, please still consider my marriage proposal and co-raping of Masterblind though, ok?

😘 Kisses everyone.