**DRAW**

Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy are at a local pub, post-Savage, in Washington D.C. The barroom is ill-lit and the bar even smells dingy. Thunder Knuckles with a beer in hand, exclaims.


A FUCKING DRAW!


Thunder Knuckles takes a mighty drink from his bottle.


Now, Thunder Knuckles, I think that's pretty good. Seeing as I wasn't there to scout your opponent.

It was fucking Michael Graves. Other than that Goddamn…


Thunder Knuckles quickly looks up.


Sorry, Jesus.


Thunder Knuckles looks back into the camera.


Golden fucking potato. What’s he got? Hmm?


Thunder Knuckles holds two fingers out to signal the barkeep that he wants another beer. The barkeep in turn nods his head and gets Thunder Knuckles a beer with making a peep.


Well, he’s helping recruit for Miss Fury’s B.O.B., which by the way. Good job, rejecting his offer. I’m proud of you.

Fuck that shit stain. Offers me a T-shirt to join B.O.B., the fuck.


While Jimmy is talking, Thunder Knuckles tilts up his beer and downs half the bottle.


I mean, if they were interested they’d just pay you what Vinnie Lane owes…

You know what, Jimmy? I've been thinking about it. If BOB just paid out what Vinnie Lane owes me plus THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND xbux. I’d probably consider it.

That’s what I just-


Thunder Knuckles smacks Jimmy. Jimmy is nursing his face from the slap.


A fucking draw.


Thunder Knuckles shakes his head slowly and takes a drink. Jimmy tries to change the subject.


Thunder Knuckles, I have wonderful news!

What?

You are in the top ten longest Television Champions list! That's exciting!

Maybe for you Jimmy. As soon as my paychecks come in, I'll care.


Jimmy still trying to get Thunder Knuckles's mind right.


Atticus White has released who you face next. Want to know who it is?


Jimmy smiles to ease Thunder Knuckles' tension. Thunder Knuckles sees how excited Jimmy is and responds with,


Fuck it, why not?

Atara Themis.


Thunder Knuckles takes a drink from his bottle of beer.


Aw.

Aw? That’s all you got?

Yeah, because now I have to fuck up Atara. This bitch only wants to go out with a win, damn it.


Jimmy smiles knowing Thunder Knuckles doesn’t need to be told this but does anyway. Thunder Knuckles takes the final drink from that bottle of beer and orders another silently.


Have you ever watched nature documentaries, Thunder Knuckles?

What?

You know, like on Animal Planet or Netflix?

I’ve watched a couple stoned off my ass… What are you getting at Jimmy?

Recently, I saw one on Lions.

Okay?


Thunder Knuckles squints and shakes his head to show Jimmy he doesn't care and take a drink of his new beer.


Good for you. I guess.

Just hear me out. This big ass lion, the alpha, with a mane that was like this big.


Jimmy tries to show the size of the mane with hands spread apart wide. Thunder Knuckles grins at the fool Jimmy is making himself and takes a drink.


He’s just chillin’. Laying on some rocks and stuff. Well, these little lions come up and start messing with him and whatnot. Biting at his legs and ears. That lion… He does nothing.


Thunder Knuckles is looking at Jimmy now knowing that Jimmy might have a point.


Then this lady lion.

Lioness, mother fucker.


Jimmy smiles seeing Thunder Knuckles is getting into his story.


The lioness comes up and starts making trouble for the Alpha Lion. Do you know what the Alpha Lion does?


Thunder Knuckles shrugs as if to say he doesn’t know and takes a drink.


He does nothing. All the other animals in the area see this. The hyenas and jackals, they are basically talking shit. Barking at the Alpha, laughing in the case of the hyenas. They start eating in Alpha's territory, getting closer and closer.

So why doesn’t the lion-


Jimmy slaps his hands together. Thunder Knuckles tries to take a drink of his bottle of beer but notices it is empty. He signals the barkeep once again and gets another beer.


Exactly, Thunder Knuckles! You’re a fucking Alpha. That’s exactly what that Alpha Lion does. He finally gets up, allowing his prey to believe that they are safe. Then BANG!

The Alpha Lion gets the fuck up and runs through them like a fucking meat grinder!

That’s my point! The jackals have surrounded, they're trying to eat your food, Thunder Knuckles.

Atara Themis is a fucking jackal, isn’t she? Little fucking scavenger fox. Do you know that bitch tried to fucking use my own shit against me on twitter, Jimmy?

Oh, yeah? how’d that work out for her?





Didn’t she say she should be Internet Champion over Bobbie London?


Thunder Knuckles takes a big drink of beer afterward he says,


Yeah, on the same day. I’m beating this bitch in her world. Talking about she should be Internet Champion.


Jimmy chuckles.


She said you were charming too, Thunder Knuckles.

What can I say when you got fucking killer hair like this. What women wouldn’t be fucking impressed?


Thunder Knuckles gives his hair a flip.


Check this out Thunder Knuckles.


Jimmy pulls out his cellphone and starts playing on it.


The fuck you doing Jimmy?

Perfect!


Jimmy flashes a picture Thunder Knuckles.


And send. I sent Atara This.





Why?

You’ll see. But right now we need to start talking about Atara’s record here in XWF.


Thunder Knuckles picks up his drink and downs it.


Fuck. You always do this.

Yeah, it’s so your fucking prepared. Face it.


Jimmy looks down.


When I wasn’t with you against Michael Graves-

Fucking… Draw.


Jimmy looks back up because he wasn’t smacked.


Exactly. Let’s start at the top. October 31st, 2019 Anarchy.


Thunder Knuckles depressingly signals the barkeep for another beer. The barkeep does, what the barkeep does, and gets Thunder Knuckles his drink, without uttering a single word.


Atara Themis vs Barney Green. Attara gets the win of her dreams!

Did more than that on my debut but okay.

Then she gets a significant win the second match, in on November 15th, 2019. Against Mini Morbid.

Can’t relate. I had Grandma Lemon Tits, the bitch.

January 11th, 2020 she was tagged with Robbie Burbo-

Arguably one of the greatest big men in the business Robbie Fucking Bourbon! Atara you lucky fucking cunt.

Against Alister Dante and Ezr-


Thunder Knuckles glares at Jimmy before taking another drink from his beer.


Shock Nozzle.


Thunder Knuckles cracks a smile.


That's right, Jimmy. That’s right. So Atara obviously wins because shes tagging with one of the greatest ever. Move on.

Then January 16th, 2020 on Anarchy! Atara get her hands on Zane-


Thunder Knuckles begins laughing while saying.


Fucking pink tentacle, zombie boy, himself.


The two men have a good laugh and move on. Thunder Knuckles takes a drink from his beer but this time he’s out and doesn’t ask for another.


Shit, I forgot a No contest.

A what?

Like the fight didn’t happen.

HA! I’d take a draw over that!

The worst part is the fact that the boss's wife was her tag partner.


Thunder Knuckles has a shit-eating grin.


My draw with Michael Graves looks way better than that, for sure.


Let’s just finish up her wins now.

Wait… What?

She only has two more that aren’t at a Pay Per View. We’ll get to that later... February 29th, 2020… Atara verses… Drum roll, please…


Thunder Knuckles starts a drum roll off the bar.


Red-X.


Thunder Knuckles abruptly stops his drum roll and stars into the camera blankly. Jimmy continues with an already stunned Thunder Knuckles.


Then on May 2nd, 2020 she faces Red-X again for a win.


Thunder Knuckles now somehow looks even more shocked but stammers back.


So, you're telling me. This bitch. Has…


Thunder Knuckles begins to count on his fingers.


SIX fucking wins! Six fucking wins on shows that matter!? Anarchy and MY SHOW.


Thunder Knuckles pauses for a moment and looks into the camera. The camera zooms in carefully to Thunder Knuckles's face.


Saturday Night Savage. The most exciting matches in the XWF like The finger poke of doom. Unlike that boring-ass, Wednesday Night show, that steals ideas from smart people like Atticus Black and White, the best their so-called Champion can think up... Is a Chicken Wire Cage match. Because it makes him laugh. That’s right, folks! The chicken wire makes Centurion laugh. Chicken wire. I promise NO chicken wire on Savage. Period. It's just not funny.


Thunder Knuckles winks and the camera carefully zooms back out.


More on the stipulation for this match later.


The camera zooms back out to resume the promo.


Yes, that’s what I'm saying to you. Let me check to see if we have enough time to cover her losses.


Jimmy picks up a notebook. Thunder Knuckles begins to smile knowing Jimmy isn’t going to fail him. Jimmy only brings out the notebook when there is a lot of work.


November 16th, first Savage appearance. Atara faced Jessalyn Hart.

No, she didn’t lose to Jessalyn Hart.

Oh, yes she did. Then on January 30th, Anarchy. Atara got her ass SPANKED by Amjetkun Socio.

Yeah, I saw that one it was pretty fucking brutal. I also saw her second shot at Amjetkun. On February 13th. She was so scared she didn’t even try to Stop Anjetkum's pin on that other guy… What’s his name? Fuck it, it doesn't matter.

On the 15th of February, she had a match on Savage. Against Maverick and Phantom Panzer.

I thought you said we covered her fucking wins.


Jimmy looks at Thunder Knuckles smiling from ear to ear.


Oh, that fucking sucks…


Thunder Knuckles looks back into the camera.


Atty… You fucking suuuuuck.


Thunder Knuckles looks back at Jimmy.


The month of March on regular shows just looks like she faced off Against BigD in the Lethal Lottery tournament on the 14th. Where she failed in the first round.

I remember that! BigD called her, his stepping stone. HA! That bitch WAS BigD’s stepping stone. Stepping stone straight into retirement and HE WON!


Jimmy looks into his notes.


April 18th Atar tagged with Rebel Star.

A great career move, Atty.


Thunder Knuckles give a jerking off motion, yet again, with a smirk.


Against Atara’s sister and someone else.

I was too busy defending my title to pay attention to that.

Don’t blame yourself most people were too busy to pay that match much attention. Which brings me to May 21st were the Themis sisters tag together to get beat down by Ruby and Tula-

Tula “buttermilk tits” Keali’i.

Yep. The T.H.U.G.S. was in the match as well. In the end, Ruby’s team gets the victory. That was another Anarchy show, by the way.


Thunder Knuckles nods drunkenly.


Superheroes… Anyway, what you're saying is Atara is a born loser who feels like a winner. Fucking jackal. Always picking up scraps.

Hey, can you do that thing that signals, Todd? You know, to show a graphic and give me your opinion on it?

Sure.


Thunder Knuckles points down at the bottom of the screen and the graphic appears.





That's what Atara said the same day you beat her in her own element. But on June 11th, Atara vs Bobbie London for the Internet Championship.

Bobbie London chews Atara up and swallows her whole.

Pretty much...


Jimmy hesitantly says,


I know normally you won’t let me talk about that other show that still owes you money but-

Nope. Fuck that show right up it’s stupid General Managers ass.

She lost to Peter Gilmour.


Thunder Knuckles pauses before taking a drink of his beer.


Well, Peter Fucking Gilmour is a legend. Let’s get to the heaters the fucking Pay Per View’s where the talent cares more, yeah?

Fine, that pretty much sums up here career but let’s give it a go. Lethal Lottery Dec 1st, 2019. She got a victory over Jessalyn Hart.


Thunder Knuckles smirks.


Making up for that loss, huh, Atty?

At C*NTFEST-


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy as hard as he drunkenly can.


What the fuck-

CUNTFEST! say the fucking name of the Pay Per View! Don’t be a weak bitch like Atara.


Jimmy rubbing the side of his face trying to fight back a tear says,


CUNTFEST, shit... She get’s her first crack at that.


Jimmy points the gold belt around Thunder Knuckles's waist. Thunder Knuckles looks into the camera but directly into Atara’s soul.


Oh, this old thing? Noah Jackson waxed that ass. By the way, Noah, sorry about your women, bro. She shouldn't have killed those cops but I feel for ya.


Jimmy smiles knowing Thunder Knuckles is being a complete asshole to Atara.


Moving on to March Madness…

Where she was given the title by her then-boyfriend FuZz.

She pinned him!


Thunder Knuckles seems unimpressed because he knows what happens next..


Yeah, then she proudly proclaimed that she was Champ Champ.


Thunder Knuckles points down to the bottom of the screen.





I’ll take it from here, Jimmy.


Thunder Knuckles puts his two fingers out to the bartender for another beer. Like clockwork the barkeep brings Thunder Knuckles over, yet another, bottle of beer.

**PREACH**

That brings us to War Games Atty. Where you became team fucking captain. Taking the spot of your long rival Red-X.


Thunder Knuckles rolls his eyes and takes a drink once finished.


You had the chance to draft ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles in the first round but you didn't. You drafted probably the worst team that could have even been possibly imagined. So bad, in fact, that YOU bailed on them. YOU failed the team that YOU chose. The team that drafted me. Fucking WON. You had that chance and you blew it. Kinda like your chance to be Xtreme Champion. You BLEW that too. Well, you a least BLEW to get it.

I know what you're thinking Atty.


Thunder Knuckles enter an incredibly bad Atara Themis voice.


But Thunder Knuckles I helped support your campaign.

Bitch, who are you trying to fool? You were trying to get over and I allowed you to support Drezdin/Knuckles 2020.


Thunder Knuckles winks into the camera and takes a drink.


I’m not FuZz. I’m not going to lay down for you. I’m going to fucking destroy you. Fuck me! I haven't said how yet, have I?


Thunder Knuckles begins to think, tapping his finger to his chin. Thunder Knuckles is then reminded mentally of his draw with Michael Graves.


We’re going to have the first-ever BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA MICHAEL GRAVES CHALLENGE! Only fucking match of it's kind. 'Ol Thunder Knuckles with another first, mother fuckers. Todd show XWF fans around the world the fight poster.





Thunder Knuckles smiles takes the final drink of his beer then sets it down on the bar. Not ordering another drink.


Fucking draw... But that's right, mother fuckers. The object of the match is to beat the shit out of Michael Graves. Whoever makes Graves, give up or pins Graves wins, AFTER a turd falls from his behind. Well, I'm going to try and make him shit. I don't know if Atty will or not. Quality TV, right there. I guess that's optional. That way Atara can't duck Graves like she did when she was Xtreme Champion AND I can soften up that shit stain, Graves. It looks like he's trying to get Chasm's boy to tag with him for MY belt next Savage. This guy just doesn't give up wanting title shot out after title shot.

Oh, and since I’m not the Main Event, because the Universal Champion decided to grace us with his presence! I’m going to suspend the fucking time limit. Yeah, This fucking thing starts as soon as you enter the fucking doors, Atty. That is... If you decide to enter the doors. I know how you've been lately. Let's see if you do your job on the way out.

Make no mistake Atara Themis. This match isn’t over until I win, you fucking jackal. I'm The Alpha who won The Omega War Games and your ex is running scared because of it. This is defense five, Atty, three more, and a universal title shot. Is mine.


Thunder Knuckles gives a cocky half-smile.


If I don't sell it. People like BigD, the guy who called you his stepping stone, A LOT of xbux for just one shot. You can blabber on and on about, how you think your some kind of fucking sex goddess or whatever. That you can manipulate men blah, blah, and fucking blah. Sure, it worked on the current Universal Champion. Guys like me, well, we know that fine pieces of ass like yourself, come and go. Look. You're basically going now. Just leave and get it over with. Because you're not getting your win off my name and RED-X is gone.

You finished here, sir?


Thunder Knuckles looks at the barkeep.


Yeah, Yeah, I think so. Not much time left to talk about this twat anymore anyway.

Sound like that Atara Themis bitch is too. When you guys meet on Savage. I know I'll be watching now.

Fucking right, barkeep.


Thunder Knuckles looks over to Jimmy and yells


Jimmy, pay the man! Tip too, you fucking cheap fuck. He obviously knows what the fucks up.


The screen starts to fade to black with Thunder Knuckles signing an autograph on a napkin for the barkeep. Jimmy starts talking again making if fade back.


Hey, Thunder Knuckles… Before you were kidnapped. Do you remember doing a standup to cancer advertisement?

Yeah, that was a while ago, why?


Thunder Knuckles looking annoyed that Jimmy is still talking.

Well, it came out today.

Dope. Fuckin', Todd, you know what to do! Roll this promo out with the fucking advertisement at the end. So, Jimmy will shut the fuck up and we can go home. Peace.


Thunder Knuckles give the peace sign and the screen cuts to an advertisement.