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Welcome To Jenny's World
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Jenny Myst Offline
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Post: #1
05-30-2020 11:14 PM

"......So, what do we do now? Atara is MIA, The Wizard has been silent. Neither of them are here. It's just you, me and bat girl."

"Hey!"

Jenny smiles, looking at her nails. She has an entire bowl of pink Starburst in front of her. Only pink.

"Well....I mean, I think its clear, Felix, this is my team now."

"Say's who?"

"Umm......how old are you?"

"Ladies....stop it."

Felix is puffing on a cigarette, Ms. D waves her hand in front of her mouth in disgust as he blows it out.

"Why not be a collective unit? Do we even really need a leader?"

Jenny and Ms. D look at each other.

"Typical male", they say in unison.

Jenny undoes a pink starburst from its wrapper and pops it in her mouth.

"Okay, so, why not go by seniority? I mean, we have that McBride guy on the team. He has a lot of experience."

"Umm.....Felix", Jenny says between chews, "I don't think you are in a position to be naming anyone captain. You've been here like a week."

"Um.....I've been here long enough to be X-Treme Champion, toots."

"Ohh here we go with that toxic masculinity sch-tic. Cut the shit, Felix, this is my team now."

"Is that all you care about?"

"No. I want to win, of course, but I want to win with MY name on it....."

Just as she finishes her sentence the hotel room door opens and McBride marches in.

"What did I miss?"

"Ms. Period pants over here is saying it should be her team........"

"Oh, stop it skinny jeans!"

"HEY!"

They both look, Ms. D even jumped a little in her chair.

"Is this really the attitude we want to take going into War Games?! We all need to get along out there or we're going to be slaughtered."

"I'd listen to Braveheart if I were you....."

"Braveheart is Scottish!"

Felix takes another puff of his cigarette before smushing it in the ash tray.

McBride uncaps a bottle of whiskey and pours it into a room-provided glass. No ice. He sits at the table with the others. Jenny opens and eats another pink starburst.

"Why don't we do this, we will all make a pitch as to why we should be team captain? Most convincing pitch wins.....I love a good game."

Jenny rolls her eyes with an ugh.

"Well, Ms. Myst, do you wanna begin?"

"Hard pass. I already have this in the bag. How bout skinny jeans over there tells us why he should be."

"Stop calling me skinny jeans"

Opening another pink Starburst.

"Because I am the champion, okay? I am the only champion on this time and by the hierarchy of wrestling society, that makes me superior to all of you. Plus, Atara picked me first."

Jenny yawns.

"How about you, Sean Connery?"

"Also Scottish!"

"And?"

McBride downs a shot, slamming the glass on the table. This time Jenny flinches.

"Because I am the oldest fucking person in this room. I have seen more, done more, faced more and beat more than all of you combined! I have the ability to ,lead because I know what it takes to get the job done! I put up with bullshit from nobody and I like to hurt people."

Jenny opens what seems like her tenth pink Starburst.

"Ms. D?"

"How come she doesn't get some stupid nickname----"

Jenny put her hand up, "shut it."

"Ms. D?"

The girl in the mask looks down, moving her feet around under the table. Looking up, her and Jenny's eyes locked.

"Aww heck......crap, I hate these....well.....gosh, I don't even really wanna be captain........I just wanna go in there and bash some stuffs! Create some chaos! Have some fun!"

Both men sighed.

"This game is boring. You all know what I'm gonna say. I'm should be captain because I am the Queen and Ms. Perfection and totally fabulous......."

They all look at her....

"Okay. Fine....I have a more fun game.......but Ms. D, stop playing Ms. Innocent. This isn't Britney Spears circa 1998. How about we play MY favorite game. ROAST. Gimme your best.....tell me what you think of every opponent in this match......."

"Every opponent?"

"Hush....women are speaking."

Felix reaches for McBrides whiskey. He gladly obliges.

"You're not leaving this room until you give me something good."

Both men ugh'd.

"So?"

Ms. Direction takes a few moments, then stares Jenny straight in the eyes.

"How about McBride. You got first, set the tone. Can you do that without screaming?"

He stares at her.

Michael took a fat long drag from his cigar before blowing out grey smoke into the air

"Mastermind, you Kiwi bird fucker. I'm forgettable? The fuck are you talking about? I may be a part timer but you've been here the whole time and people still forget that you're alive. You're the one with the ego lad. You go on and on and on how you mastered this mind and that one and blah blah blah. If I have to watch another promo of you on your private jet, I'm going to fuckin' bomb it so I can save everyone from those God awful promos of yours. I fell asleep from your last one. Now when I can't get to sleep at night, I don't have to count sheep anymore, I can just turn on one of your promos and be passed out in moments. Maybe you can go do that for a living instead of wrestling. Go record yourself talking about so called this and that. You'll make money off of it. Trust me. You'd do a lot better at that than stepping in the ring with me. I'm better than you in every way possible and I don't have to handout fucking t-shirts to do it, I'm just a part-timer right? I'm nothing right? Suck a dick. In fact, go suck Gilmour's dick because you're that's all you're good for. Oh and another thing. Why do we have to be with you as your check you're fucking e-mail. That's another common thing about you. Your jet and checking your e-mails. I swear I saw you got mail from Butt Plus R US. Please just keep your personal life away from us. I don't care if you're a , by always, go suck as much cock as you want, shit. Maybe I should blow up your plane and laptop. Maybe it would help you become a better person. Who knows? What I do know, is you're not worth anything. To your team or to the XWF. If you died tomorrow. No one would shed a tear. We would just throw your body into a trash can and call it a night. Know your place Mastermind and keep your mouth shut."

"Shane Caver. What the fuck happened to you? Where did you go? I remember coming into the XWF when you owned it. You were a ruthless mother fucking mad lad and now you're a shell of that. Where did it all go wrong? How could this have happened? I'm not mad, I just feel so let down. I thought out of everyone here. You were going to be the biggest threat but no. You let me down. I was looking forwards to fighting you. I could tell it would have been an once in a life time battle. It's not meant to be. You let down me, you let down your team but worst of all. You let down yourself. Didn't you hack up a poor lad a few weeks ago? Whatever took over the Shane's body was useless. Some evil spirit, yeah it turned out so great. God dammit. Fuck you Shane. May the Devil slap the fuck out of you for being a failure"

"Peter, don't think I forgot about my brother. I wish we could have been on the same team. We would have fucked some shit up. Like we always do but now we could end up facing each other. Which is good too. I don't remember the last time we fought one another. It's been too long. You know we always had the best fights in the XWF. We can do it again but that all depends on your team and from where I'm looking. I don't think you're going to make to the finals. I know you will fight your heart out but brother. You got some bad luck. That sucks. I'm sorry but Hired Gun five thousand or the power of Dick just isn't going to cut. The fates seem to be so cruel to you Gilmour. That sorry sack of shit Tommy Gunn is with you. It kinda makes me laugh. Theo must had a good laugh with that one. Sorry but we all know it's true buddy. Fear not, we'll step into the ring and have an epic battle some other time. It's just not going to be at War Games."


"Centy, lad. How the fuck are you? So remember when I got back to you late on that match you challenged me to, which by the way, my bad. I didn't see it before. You said you'd still take me on? What happened? You never got back to me on that? That's fucked up lad. I'm not happy about it. Here I thought you'd jump at the match, you were the one who wanted it in the first place. We'll just have to meet in the main event won't we? I don't know what your deal is but you been fucking with my friend Gilly and when you fuck with a friend of mine, you're fucking with me. I hope you do win and make it to the next round. So I can beat the ever living shit outta you. That will teach you a lesson and if not, I'll just have to do it over and over again til you learn. I'm going to smack that shit eating grin of your face."

Jenny nods.

"Good. Good......see, D, it's not that hard.............so?"

She almost explodes out of her seat.

"So team B.O.B. vs Team Shit? That's not quite right is it? Team Shit can't be shit simply because B.O.B. is being represented by one Micheal Graves. A Micheal Graves that only I hold the power to control. Micheal Graves is a rabid animal, and I've let him off the leash when I could have simply ordered him to totally bone his teammates and guarantee Team B.O.B. makes it to the main event. The question that you have to ask yourself is why? Why would I not use every advantage at my disposal to secure our spot in the main event?"

"It's simple stupid, there's more fun in letting the cards fall as they may!"


Ms. Direction winks at Felix Jones before continuing.

"B.O.B. is dedicated to bring carnage and mayhem to the XWF. We are the yin to all of your heroes yangs. They fight for peace, as if fighting for the ability to not fight isn't the stupidest thing that I’ve ever heard of!"

"So, who's making it to the end? Who's winning this thing? My opinion?"

"Who cares!!?"

"What even is this event? What's the point? Bragging rights? Who gives a frick!!? Some sort of prize? Maybe a title shot? Screw that, B.O.B. doesn't fight for titles, we take them. As a matter of fact, we take everything that we want and we dare anyone to try and stop us! So I guess that just leaves the million dollar question, why did I sign up to be a replacement?"

"Because you can't have a big show without featuring the biggest star that Anarchy has ever seen now can you? That and the fact that my involvement in this event is more about having some fun kicking losers teeth down their throats than anything else. If we win, yay, if we don't, who gives a crap?"

"Ugh, this is sooo stupid. I'm expected to talk about all of these clowns that we have to face and even the ones that we might face. I don't know what part of I really don’t care that these people are struggling with. I didn't even watch a single promo that I wasn't at least a guest star in. Does that tell you how little I care? Yet here I am, running off at the mouth because Jenny asked me nicely. This is exactly why being good sucks so hard! I should have just told her to eat me!"

"But Jenny Myst is a pretty good supervillain in her own right! Small scale sure, but still a villain, and I respect that."

"Soooooooo…"

"WORD ASSOCIATION!!"

"HANARI CARNES = BUMBLING FOOL WHO THINKS SOME SMALL SCALE PRANK IS ENOUGH TO EARN MICHAEL'S LOYALTY! Pffft!"

"MASTERMIND = LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF HIS NAMESAKE, PROVEN EVERY SINGLE TIME HE OPENS HIS MOUTH!"

"MICHAEL GRAVES = MY BITCH, ASK HIM!"

"BORIS AND RED X = WHO CARES?"

"LIAM ROBERTS = WHO?"

"CENTURION = HAD TO CHEAT TO BEAT A GIRL IN AN ARM WRESTLING MATCH! SOME LEADER!!"

"TULA KEALI'I = WANNABE HERO WHO WILL SOON REALIZE THAT SHE SHOULDN'T STICK HER NOSE WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG!"

"CHRIS CHAOS = OBSESSED WITH A TITLE THAT HE'S PROVEN INCAPABLE OF RECLAIMING FOR YEARS!!"

"SHAWN WARSTEIN = MEDIUM FISH, VERY SMALL POND!!"

"DOUG WHITFORD = WHO? OH YEAH, IDIOT TRYIN TO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF BY LETTING GRAVY MURDER HIM ON LIVE TV!!"

"BIG D = WHY IS HE EVEN HERE? WHAT CREDIBILITY DOES HE EVEN HAVE AT THIS POINT? TOO SCARED TO FIGHT GRAVY, BUT MORE THAN HAPPY TO MAKE HIS RETURN FIGHTING AT THE CHAMPS SIDE. PROBABLY THINKS HE'LL GET ANOTHER UNI LOSS IF HE DOES WELL. LIKELY WON'T."

"ROBERT THE OMEGA MAIN = FREELANCE VILLAIN. SHOULD JOIN B.O.B. NOTHING BAD TO SAY!!"

"CHRONIC CHRIS PAGE = SEE ROBERT MAIN AND BE LESS COOL ABOUT IT, IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE… OH GUESS IT IS!!"

"THUNDER KNUCKLES = GOOD GUY, NO BAD GUY!! A LITTLE CONFUSED RIGHT NOW."

"RUSSIAN ROSE = MILDLY TALENTED ASSKICKER WHO WAS SUDDENLY REPLACED BY."

ALEXEI MEDVED = UH… OKAY!!"

"LOW MO = WHO?"

"SHANE CARVER = IT'S FRICKIN SHANE CARVER. THE ORIGINAL FUCKED UP VILLAIN OF THE XWF! NOW JUST A HOLLOW SHELL OF RAMPAGING CHAOS. HMMM, HOW TO CONVINCE HIM TO JOIN B.O.B.?"

"DICK POWERS = I CAN'T TELL YOU DICK ABOUT DICK POWERS. DIDN'T WATCH, DON'T CARE. COOL NAME THO!"

"THE HIRED GUN = HERE'S ANOTHER DON'T CARE. I HEAR HIS RATES ARE VERY INFLATED COMPARED TO THE SERVICES YOU GET!!"

"PETER FN GILMOUR = A GODDAMNED LEGEND WHO IS WRONGFULLY SHAMED BY THE JEALOUS TURDS THAT INCORRECTLY BELIEVE THEMSELVES TO BE BETTER THAN HIM, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEY'LL LIKELY NEVER ACHIEVE THE SAME LEVEL OF SUCCESS THAT HE HAS!"

"TOMMY GUNN = A GUY, WITH A GUN. COULD BE A COOL VILLAIN IF HE WEREN'T SUCH MORON. SEEMS AS THOUGH HE WOULD RATHER FIGHT HIS OWN TEAMMATE THAN WIN. CLAIMS TO HAVE RETIRED BECAUSE OF A LACK OF COMPETITION. HAS AN 8 AND 2 CAREER RECORD… OKAY!!"


Ms. Direction turns to Jenny.

"There, happy?"


[Image: 9xE7zJO.jpg]

Jenny smiles.

"My turn."

"So, lets not get it twisted, this is my team. Atara dropped the ball, and I picked it up. It is what I do, what I have always done. I date Chris Chaos, I am used to cleaning up someone else's mess. And believe me, if someone knows how to make a mess, its that dude. I am not even worried about him, to be honest. He is going to be so wrapped up in Robert Main, if he makes it that far, that a simple roll up could beat him. Hell, a toddler could beat him. Mental illness is a scary thing.

Look, I'll be frank. I've said most of what I'm gonna say. I mean I've worn out most of my zippy one liners and clever puns. I've already talked about Big D's face looks like Lindsay Lohan's face stretched over Jean Claude Can Damme's skull. Haven't I? Oh wait, maybe not. Well add that to the list! Pretty sure I talked about how Mastermind's head is so big he makes a side income by using it as a balloon at kid's birthday parties. Oh wait, I hadn't yet. Shit. Well, add that too!

My point is, I am on fire all the time. I don't need to be redundant and monotonous. I don't need to exhaust the same vanilla lines time in and time out like some people here. I get in, do what I need to do, say what I need to say, and get out.

Like, for example, I already talked about Centurion. I already mentioned that if someone picks up a magic lamp and whispers "Walgreen's Assistant Manager", Centurion would appear. No? Again? Damn. But for real, he's like the type of dude who would only watch porn if it was on vinyl. Just boring. Old, and boring. Pretty sure I HAVE called him that before, though.

See? I just have so many, sometimes I forget if I've used them before.


Thunder Knuckles, why would I wanna even address him? His body looks like a kindergartners attempt to make a person out of playdoh. I am supposed to be afraid of anyone in this match? I mean, they say TK can pack a punch. I think TK needs to stop packing lunch, personally. Is anyone really afraid of a guy who looks like he's jerked off to more comics than Louis C.K.? You see, I am fearless. There is a difference between egotistical and fearless. Our Universal Champion is egotistical, but he's got more fear in him than Freddie Mercury had AIDS cells. He knows his days are numbered. Me, shiiiiit, I'm just getting started! I'm a free and independent woman now, and you are all gonna find out verrrrry soon that I am the baddest bitch on the planet!

Russian Rose's retarded brother? Like, are we serious? This is a real thing.....really? We're serious here? It's pretty clear Main and Page paid a translator to write out index cards for him to read off screen. No way was that really his doing. And funny, they appear in every one of his promos? I thought Main was confident in his team? He already has to carry Page, why not carry Rose too? But I don't see him popping up on LowMo's timeline. I'll just never understand Sasquatch bonding techniques.


*sigh*

Did I even waste my time with Peter Gilmour before? Should I even? Will he even make it out of the first 5 minutes? Well, Peetey, lemme just say this. You talk all big and bad, like usual, yelling about superdicks and what not.......you scream "hardcore", but the small part of your body you aren't hiding with your over sized tee shirt screams "soft-serve." I've done the Peter Gilmour dance before. it's like the beginner setting on DDR. BORING.

Tula....Tula, Tula, Tula. I'm pretty sure I used to bowl against that guy on Wii Sports! Ha, I kid, I kid. Tula, babe, you're one of the only other women in this match. Shame I gotta beat you down baby girl, normally I'm all about girl power. but a Queen must assert her dominance. It's gotta suck to be you, though. I mean, jesus, what a forehead! Eyebrows to hairline, that's easily a $6 cab ride. I just hope sugar daddy Cent is keeping those 20's coming! And hey, of this doesn't work out, you could get a job being the token minority field reporter than I see on like every news cast. 2020...diversity!

Graves.....just.......stop it. I would try to roast your ass again, but your ego is probably made out of lead, which explains the brain damage. Your hair says lesbian but your face says pedo. Maybe Tula can awkwardly question you about the disappearance of Dolly Waters and you two can just have a back and forth grunt fest, since, that's about the most productive noise the two of you make out of your faces anyway.

Just so many......we've been over all of this before. We've talked about how Shane Carver left XWF brass to snag the lead role in a movie about Adam Sandler's slowest sperm.

Main, Page, like I said, I'ma comin! Which, I'm sure both of your dad's wish they never said right about now. Check it. Jokes aside. I am going to shock the world. I am going to come out here and show everyone that not only do I have the sharpest tongue, the quicket wit, the illest burns, and the absolute best hair........I am damn good between those ropes. I am brutal, and I don't give a flying fuck about you or your wellbeing, no matter who you are. I'll admit it, I'm superficial, I'm selfish. But when's the last time helping anyone ever helped me? So Felix, D, Wizard, McBride.....I'm here to lead you into battle but I am here to win. If you wanna stand beside me and fight, you're more than welcome, but if you don't want this as badly as I want this then I kindly ask that you get the fuck out of the way.

Welcome to Jenny's World, Population, WON.


They all get up to leave, but Jenny grabs Ms. Direction's arm, sitting her back down.

"Fellas, you're dismissed, I'll see you tomorrow night. Ms. D, stay, I wanna talk to you about something."

[Image: aNn2Fv8.png]

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