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Team Hanari's Family Vacation
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Hanari Carnes Offline
Active in XWF

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(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)

Post: #1
05-30-2020 11:41 PM

The table that Hanari had set up for his team was now full, other than the seat where Zane was supposed to sit. Instead of reserving it for Boris or Red, he had set a potted plant on the seat. Hanari figured it would be more useful than any of the three of them anyway, and it accented the rooms decoration.

They had each looked through their folders on their opponents, and many of them were impressed by how in depth the scouting report was. Especially Mastermind, who even went as far as to comment on how he was impressed with Hanari's "effort" during all of this.

Hanari shrugged it off.

Hanari surveyed the table. These were the men he was going into battle with. These were the men he personally chose. Whether they liked him or hated him, it was his responsibility to put them in the best possible position to win this entire thing. Hanari had a different method than most. He believed in positive reinforcement. He could 'rah rah' them until he was blue in the face, but it wouldn't have gotten through to them. At least, in his mind. He stood up, his hands on the table. He looked around at the table.

Liam looked rather disinterested. He seemed spaced out, but Hanari could tell he was focused. At least, he hoped.

Hanari's head turned towards Mastermind, who was examining his cigar, twisting it in his fingers as if he was trying to figure it out. He took a shot of the provided tequila, and was conversing with his two minions, who stood at either side. They spoke in hushed tones.

Then there was Graves. Graves had drank almost a bottle and a half by himself, and was currently, and sloppily, pouring another. He had taken Liam's cigar, as well as his own, and lit them both. He was smoking both at the same time. The mess in front of him was the cup of various nuts and plantain chips, which Hanari provided out of courtesy, and Graves had dug into and devoured like a hungry raccoon.

Hanari cringed. The cigars were all but crushed under his grip, and the remnants of the tequila ran down his lips. Hanari cringed.

"Okay, gentlemen. I have arranged a little pre-War Games fun for us."

Nobody seemed to be listening, except Mastermind, who seemed to always be listening to everything.

"I have arranged transportation to a location that I think you will all have a little fun at. Decompress. De-stress."

"Do we get to ride in that sweet limo again?" Von Hammer asked.

"Of course. I wouldn't expect you to know where you are going otherwise."

He signaled for them to get up, and they all did. Graves finished off a few of the nuts on the table as they followed their captain out into the expansive hallway. The elevator opened, and the group got in. Hanari smiled as he pressed the "1" button.

Graves made a joke "Press 1 for English". Hanari didn't comment.

When the elevator doors open, the long black limo was waiting for them. The driver already had the doors open.

They didn't really know where they were going, but the ride was enough to give Hanari a headache. He sat up front with the driver, but he could hear the music, the loud voices, and the occasional bang from behind the partition.

"They better not break anything", the driver said.

"Relax. It's all paid for." Hanari pulled a cigar out of his breast pocket. "The ride home will be much calmer."

When the limo finally rolled to a stop, the driver sighed and got out. He opened the back doors and the occupants basically poured out. Their eyes lit up like a small child's when they saw that they were at Six Flags Woodmore CDP of Prince George's County, Maryland, near Upper Marlboro, and in the Washington, DC metropolitan area.

They all ran towards the entrance. Yes, even Mastermind. When they got there, the gates were locked. Their faces dropped, and they turned to face their captain, who was walking slowly towards the entrance. Graves was kicking the doors and shouting.

"Whoa, whoa, fellas. No need for that. Save it for War Games."

"Doors are closed! Captain shit takes us to a shitty park during this shitty shut down! Good job, shit head!"

Hanari laughed, calmly, almost eerily.

He pulled out his cell phone, and made a call.

"Yo, chocito, we are here. Open the gates."

He turned towards his group and smiled as the gates unclicked.

"I have arranged the park, for a full day, for just us. You guys have fun, you deserve it."

Much to their surprise, when they entered the park, it was flooded with people! Were they in the wrong park?

Or had Hanari just told them that to see if they'd appreciate any gift they were given......


Hanari had barely finished his sentence before they were all inside, taking off in different directions. The driver asked what Hanari was gonna do at the park.

"I am just going to sit here and enjoy this cigar. They need this release, let them have this. We'll round them up at sundown."

Hanari sat on a park bench, lighting the cigar. "I just wish these places served tequila."

The team disperses. At first, they are all together. They come to a booth normally used as a "Fortune Teller" station. The minions decide it would be a cool idea for Mastermind to get behind there and try his luck. After some ribbing, he gets behind the booth.

"Oooooh, me first, me first!" Melanie Childs says, giddy and excited.

Just as he is waving his arms, attempting to predict a random fortune, he hears a noise that makes him cringe.

"Mommy! I wanna get my fortune told!"

Damn kids.

" cute are you?!" Melanie says.

It was a family of four. Mother, father, an older son and a young daughter.

"Rats" he said to himself.

"Me first, me first!"

Mastermind didn't know the first thing about this little girl, but the parents handed him a $20. He grinned.

"You..........." he says.

The girl waits in anticipation, her face beaming.

"You have a princess poster in your room."

"I do!"

"Your favorite pink."


He takes a deep breath.

"Your favorite movie is Frozen."


The girl was beside herself, but the mother, clearing her throat, chimes in.

"Umm....these are all things that are easy to guess about her. She's 7, she's wearing a PINK frozen shirt. For $20, what a ripoff!"

His lip curls.

"Yeah, how about a real fortune" the father says.

His lip curls further.

"Or give us the $20 back."

"Okay, you want a real fortune........she's going to grow up to be a spoiled brat who lives in your house until she's 21, never holding down a solid job because every time her boss gets on her case about being on social media at work she is going quit and come running back to you. There is no discipline in her life, if there was, you wouldn't let her walk around with cotton candy stains on her face and those retched shoes with the lights. Those aren't fashionable and never will be. She is going to get married at 35, divorced at 37, and will never have kids because any man she meets won't be able to get ;past the fact that she never had to do anything in her life but tie her shoes......."

The girl had tears in her eyes, the parents stared at each other, mouth agape.

"Your son smokes more weed than your car takes gas to get here."

The son's eyes go wide.

"You both can't stand to be in the same room as each other and both get home from work and immediately pour a drink, trying to numb the reality that you haven't had the stomachs to be intimate in over a decade. You're staying together for the kids but once these two crotch goblins are out of your house you two are going to go your separate ways, only ever seeing each other in claims court arguing about how much of each others pay checks you get each month."

The parents usher the kids away, shooting a dagger sharp look at him.


Bored by this quickly, Graves sets out on his own path. Raiding the concessions, the workers scream and jump out of the way. He drinks a cup of ice, dumping it over his head as he shoves cold hotdogs into his mouth. Jumping back over the counter, he grunts a bit as he sees a roller coaster.....all those people having fun. How dare they!

Making his way towards it, He fights his way through the line, pushing kids out of the way. Just then, when he gets to the front of the line, he goes to grab a little girl by the hair to get her out of the way. When she spins around, she has on a Ms. Direction tee shirt. He stops dead in his tracks. He cocks his head, looking at her. The girl doesn't know what to make of him. They stand there for what feels like forever before the ride doors shut, and it begins to take off. The sound snaps them both out of it.

"Look mom! Frankenstein!"

Liam is sitting by himself on a spring loaded horse. He is rocking back and forth, staring into the abyss. He's always been a quiet kid.

As the sundown was begging, Hanari was approached by two security officers.

"Sir, you can't smoke that here."

He ignored them.

The team made their way back towards the entrance. Liam was in the back, head down, hands in pockets. Mastermind was walking with each of the Misfits at his side. Melanie was holding a big teddy bear, Hammer was drinking a giant soda. Graves had a cell phone in his hand, and something told Hanari it wasn't his.

He had the screen turned sideways, as if to show Hanari something.

He handed Hanari the phone.

[Image: fiLccqR.png]

Hanari smiled.

"God Bless America"

[Image: yG0HXLT.png]

"Jenny the bitch Myst reckons I can't be successful in the Television Division. I won the damn thing. I'm also the 2nd longest Television Champion. Can she say that? 129 days. No then I think she needs to shut the fuck up. She doesn't know what she's talking about. You have too many ramblings.

"Ms. Direction, you think you are the baddest bitch in the XWF? You don't even come close to the baddest bitch of them all, Sarah Lacklan. Just keep on dreaming.

"Felix Jones, the so-called X-treme Champion. He really did a surprising number on his wannabe captain and took her title from her. Now shes off playing I was captain but I'm too shocked to play along. So what are you going to do Felix? Turn up? Turn the match on it's head. You have a target on your back and you'll have it from the get-go. You won't last too long with everyone gunning for that title.

"Michael McBride doesn't know whether he's coming or going. He's too damn stubborn to tell if he's here or there. But I'll show him who's boss.

"And then there's the Wizard. Who wants to beat me down? Do you think you can beat me down? Then think again doosh bag.

"I'll find out sooner or later why you are so focused on me Wizard. But before you think it'll be easy to take me out, I'll just play along, and send you right back to Oz, or to Middle Earth, or where ever the fuck you are from because I don't fucking give a flying fuck why you want me so badly, it is what it is. Your worst nightmare come to life. Because I will and I can master you one way or another.

[Image: 9b9UMBz.png]

"What do you want me to say about these fucks that I haven't already said? Shawn Warstein is all bark and very little bite. That's evidenced by the fact that I've been verbally punking him out for over a month, and yet no match, no fight, nothing. The fact that our scheduled match mysteriously became unscheduled, and not a single peep was uttered by our current Universal champ not only tells you everything you need to know about Shawn Warstein, but also the rest of this modern rosters mentality. They all talk a big game. They're the best, you're shit, no matter who it is. Except when they are faced with an impossible challenge like me, then it's all, oh fuck, what have I gotten myself into."

"I challenged Warstein, he accepted, but only if I faced him AND Atari on the same night. When those two fuck birds failed to get inside my head with that move, and it was obvious yo them that I was out for blood. No match."

"Big D has been ducking me for nearly 2 months under the guise of being retired, yet here we are at War Games, and look who just so happens to be unretired. So D, ready to lose your fucking virginity to me? Nothing I'd love more than to pop your XWF Deathmatch cherry, right after I fuck up TK next Savage. Hey, we can even make it for the title if that's what it takes. We all know that the only person in the XWF today who obcesses over titles they don't deserve more than you is Red X!"

"Shane Carver's team was my favorite to win it all, but I'll be Goddamned if their collective performance hasn't been underwhelming thus far. Maybe they're saving it all for the ring, or maybe Im just expecting too much from the mindless husk of a once great man. Either way, fuck, maybe getting drafted to team shit isn't as bad as I thought. Don't misquote me either, we're still an odd assemble of misfits and losers who are being led into battle by a guy who I have very little confidence in, but when compared to the other teams out there, and what they've become over the last two weeks… Yeah, our chances are looking pretty good. Sure, we had Zane pull out of our team, and yeah, even bigger faggotry is set to take his place no matter if it be Red X or Boris, but at least we didn't have to replace our own fuckin captain!"

"So team Red X became Team Atari. Then Team Atari became team Jenny, and now Team Jenny is Team B.O.B. because there's no way in Hell that Ms. Direction takes direction from ANYBODY. She gives the orders and you listen. Fail to do that, and she'll fuck you up, or worse, stand by as I do it for her. Jenny Myst might want to be the star of this show. She might want to be the leader of her team, but at the end of the day, she'll find that she's neither! B.O.B. are the stars here, no matter which of our teams would win!"

"And that's the thing about B.O.B. we're the hottest rising group in XWF history! Just wait and see! You don't even know who we have are claws sunk into, who we've welcomed to the side of villainy! So my message for each and every team out there, watch your backs, cause you never know when B.O.B. will strike, or what side it'll come from! How can any of you rely on your teammates when you don't know where their allegiances truly lie? Or hey, maybe Im just playing mind games. I'm sure everyone involved in this match is 100% committed to their teams, but even if that's true, the odds still lie with B.O.B. simply because we are representing 3 teams in this show. That's three times the odds that a B.O.B. team wins this whole shebang, and spoiler, it's going to be THIS one!"

"Why? Because I came into this team ready to carry some straight scrubs into the Main Event, or at the very least, get there myself, but having seen this teams commitment to make it to the end, I'm thinking that this will be the night that team shit defies all odds and works as a cohesive unit. Haha, okay that's a fuckin stretch, but if they all keep their heads down and allow me to bash in Jenny and Felix's skulls, it should be so easy for our FULL team to make it to the next round!"

[Image: 9fQ0t01.png]

"The time is upon us, my friends. This is where hero's are made, and legends surface from the flames. Where evil dies and good prevails. Career's are made in matches like this. I have a legacy I am chasing, of course. I want to be something here. What competitor doesn't? Despite Zane pulling a bush league move at the last minute, I am still very confident in my team. Michael Graves is a freak, yes, but he is a dangerous freak. A motivated, bloodthirsty freak. Mastermind has tried and true experience. I am the best technical wrestler in the world. Hell, all Liam has to do is throw a punch or two and this should be easy. We get the glory of setting the tone for the entire event. We are the first War Games style match of the night, and we get to face off against a team that cares more about what their wearing to the event than competing in it. There is really no reason to believe we can't win this. I just find it funny that guys like our champion have to wait until 24 hours before the event to open their mouths. And when they do? What is it? Absolutely nothing. Typical. He has to be the most arrogant champion on the roster. I thought I was bad. Teams have put in work all week long, training, promo-ing, and guys like this wait this long......

Saving the best for last, right?

It's a slap in the face to everyone who actually works to get what they want here. Not someone who steals a belt then waves it in our face when he has beaten nobody to keep it. A champion that doesn't deserve to represent this great company. Pathetic.

I have made my thoughts about Warstein clear. I have beaten a dead horse about him. Main, Page, all of them. I hang with giants, but the issue here is that the giants are only concerned with squashing gnomes. I am here to show the world that I deserve to be the top guy. I deserve to be the champion. I am going to lead my team into War Games, and when we come out on top all I will have to say is "I told you so." You can't beat me cleanly. You won last time hiding behind the guise of a triple threat and exploited a loop hole to keep the belt you stole. Next time we see each other, shit will be different, ese. I will break your arm, take your title and leave Shawn Warstein nothing more than an pleasant memory of an even more unpleasant man. Mano-y-mano, you can't beat me, and we both know it. I know not many people give me a chance to win this match. They look at my team and think that we are a bunch of scrubs, but we are determined to prove them wrong. My entire life I have fought, scratched and clawed, I have beaten the odds. Jenny, we face you first. You talk about your love of roasting your opponents. I'd roast you, but I'd never roast plastic, that is bad for the atmosphere. I think I said what I needed to say about you last time out. I hope you thought long and hard about those words. I am not like you, or like anyone else in this match. I am a natural born leader. I believe in my team, and I know that this is a concious effort by all parties involved. I can't do it alone. I don't have to pretend to be a superhero like some people......I am one. I want a better XWF, better competition, better matches, better champions. Guys like Doug Whitford polluting the XWF airspace? No me gusta. Men like Shane Carver, if you can even call him a man. Guys like Big D and Thunder Knuckles. I damn near broke their arms already....pretty sure Knuckles was crying. I have perhaps the most devistating finisher in the business and I am not afraid to use it.

Chris Chaos, if I see you in the finals, I will not go easy on you either, mi hermano. You seem to be blaming your recent failures on me, which is you're perogative. You haven't been successful in years and hang on to a win total you amassed when half this roster was still in high school. You're old news. Hanari is the new flame that sparks the revolution. You want change? You're looking at him.

Main and Page, I have nothing but respect for the both of you. I missed my chance, however, to break your arms last week on Savage. Don't think I will let that slip by again. You act all macho now, but when I lock in Viva La Republic, we will see who who the big and bad really is. This match is filled with men I've either beaten already or haven't faced. I've lost to one person in this entire match, two if you count Page. The rest......well lets just say you haven't met Hanari Carnes yet and that's probably for the best.

I chose who I did because I have faith. If anyone is going to let this team down it is not going to be me. I will be in the finals of War Games just like I was in the finals of March Madness. Nobody expected that and nobody expects this. The difference is, I am actually going to win it this time.

I'll put big money on it. Right now. American currency. I dare you, any of you, to prove me wrong.

I'm make you do what Donald Trump should have done a long time ago. I am going to make you tap out!

Hasta mañana, pendejos

[Image: Zl6h7uC.png]

[Image: Gwv4WDK.jpg]

XWF Tag Team Champion, 1 x
XWF Television Champion, 1 x
XWF Record: 12-12
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