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Peter Gilmour...World's Worst Teammate...Discuss
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Tommy Gunn Offline
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#1
05-26-2020, 09:27 AM

Why is Peter Gilmour the worst team mate in the history of professional wrestling?

I'm been racking my brain these last few days trying to put my finger on it ever since I heard that instead of FACING Peter at War Games I have to team up with him.

So naturally the first thing I did was go back through the tapes and look at some of his past matches where he was teaming with someone and it became very clear to me very quickly that Peter Gilmour is basically luggage. You carry him around with you everywhere you go and all you are really hoping for is that he doesn't get lost going from point A to point B. That's it.

Peter brings virtually nothing else to the table except the uncanny ability to make everyone else around him look better by proxy. You think I'm kidding? Peter Gilmour is literally the one man on planet Earth that could make Drezdin look like a halfway decent wrestler and he did it to the tune of a tag team title run. The most unlikely tag team champions and it was all possible because Drezdin carried Peter's worthless carcass to the finish line. Much like Michael McBride another useless punching bag did twice. Peter Gilmour brings out the very best in people because his inability to do and say anything correctly forces everyone to bring their A++ game. Being Peter's partner means being your best self. Even Dimalisher an actual won gold because he summoned his mighty strength and strapped little ole Petey to his back and carried him to a tag team title. It truly is a magic thing to watch Peter flounder around on the singles scene while having so much success as a team mate. It's uncanny.

We all know that Peter Gilmour can't cut a promo to save his life. The man has no respect for the rules of the game. If I were a petty man I'd point out how Peter can't understand and thus doesn't actually follow the whole "cold open" rule of promoing but I'm not petty so I won't make mention of that to the higher ups. But beyond that the guy speaks for 20 minutes and says virtually nothing of value. The one thing he does well is paint himself into a corner with stupid mistakes and contradictions. I've told the guy at least 2 dozen times that Christian is my nephew not my son but he continues to refer to him as my son. An outsider might think that Peter is doing it on purpose to troll me but anyone that has been within an inch of that shit bird knows that Peter is not capable of that type of creativity. If he were the intro to his promos wouldn't always be the same boring as song and dance.

The weather in Los Angeles is the same pretty much every single day. Sunny and 75. We don't need a description in every single promo because the reality is we don't care. No one cares Peter, do you hear me? NO ONE CARES.

If you are wondering why I am going so hard on Peter and not my opponents at War Games it's really simple. Because I don't care about them. They aren't my focus.

I don't even understand how LoMo got a contract to wrestle in the XWF. I know times are tough and it's a little harder to find talent than it used to be but that guy? He's enhancement talent with a shorter name.

Apparently there is some Commie on the other team which is just...par for the course in America these days. Fucking Communists everywhere. I served multiple tour's of duty treating the middle east as my own personal shooting gallery and here we are letting commie's in the country like we did have a decades long cold war with Russia. Makes me wonder why I even bothered signing up in the first place but that's what happens when you have a 5 time draft dodger for a President.

Thunder Knuckles...that's it. That's the joke.

Robert Main? It's so fitting that he calls himself the Omega because he sure as shit isn't an Alpha following Chris Page around like a lost little puppy with his sad eyes and his tongue hanging out begging for his next meal. This guy went from being one of the longest reigning world champions in company history to a neutered lap dog with no purpose in life other than trying to get the effections of his master. It's fucking disgusting. It's fitting that shit stain is wearing a mask now because if I were him I'd be hiding my face in shame too. Fucking pathetic. And to be lead around by Chris Page of all people. Like what the fuck?

Chris Page is the ultimate con man. This fool came back to the fed a few years ago trying to fight some stupid war for the fed when in reality he was just trying to place himself at the front of the line for the Universal Title. And of course Con Man Chris did so by conning others to join his cause. Naturally every single one of those people, one of which is the current Universal Champ got wise to the con and promptly abandoned Page after Page not only lost his war but then got smacked down by then champion turned cuck in a mask Robert Main. in one of the most drawn out and one sided feuds in fed history.

And if that wasn't laughable enough, when Unknown Soldier came crashing in and cashing in on Main to spoil Page and Main's plans for their 666th rematch the two of them said fuck it, let's join forces because that is literally what everyone said they were going to do. I guess these guy's decided to give the people what they "wanted", I guess. Nothing says shock and awe quite like doing exactly what several people said you were going to do before you do it. It's honestly the kind of stupid fuckery that you'd expect to only find in a real life adaptation of what's eating Gilbert Gilmour but here we are. Talking about taking "if you can't beat em, join em" to the next level. I'm sure there is an obvious gay joke that should be made here but I am too classy and cultured for that sort of lowbrow humor.

I can't believe I am in this match let alone teaming with Peter I really can't. Vince you made me a promise and you broke that promise and after I break Peter in half at War Game's I'm gonna coming looking for you and that dipshit Theo Pryce because i'm sure that asshole had something to do with this too.

[Image: PFcRGRj.png]

Record: 8 - 2
1 x RTX Champion
1 x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
1 x Federweight Champion

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