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Hell Is A Place Called Home
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Chris Chaos Offline
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Post: #1
05-23-2020 06:59 PM

There are some people out there who want the spoils.....

Some people who care about the trivial things like winning and losing.....

Some people out there who let their spoils define their very existence..........

People who allow themselves to be consumed with sin. Sin overtakes them, and they become sin itself.

I have been fighting it for a long time. I have been trying to be better, to make something of my shattered image, to become the man I was born as. But this has its talons in me, its a parasite, it is woven into the very fabric of my DNA.

I walk down the street and I try to say hi to everyone. Little kids riding their bikes, enjoying the nice weather after months in qurantine, and parents walking the family dog right behind them. I drive by and I want to wave, I want to smile, I want to show them that we are all in this human.......


There it is again, that itch that won't go away. That parasite. It rears its ugly head. I see the young kids on the bike, about 100 yards from me now, and coming up fast. Maybe I'll buy them some ice cream, if their parents are okay with it. I have a cooler in the back of my truck, maybe I'll pull over.

They could probably last a good amount of time in that Yeti. I wonder what they taste like.

AHH!, its ice cream bars. It's nice stuff. I am nice. I am a nice guy.

50 yards now.....the little girl swerved her bike into the street, she should be careful. If she isn't paying attention she could get hit.

Good, let her get hit. Let her bones crunch under the tires, let her parents scream. Let her take her last breath as a thousand pounds of steel turn her lungs into mashed potatoes.......maybe they will have a closed casket.

I swallow hard. The kids are 20 or so yards from me now. The parents and the dog are about 50.

I felt my hand begin to twitch. The wheel turned ever so slightly beneath me. I felt a line of sweat on my brow. It was painful, but I had to fight it off. It was Memorial Day weekend for god sakes! There were people everywhere.

My hand was about to fully turn. I could feel it. Just as it did, I ripped it the other way. I swerved off the road in the other direction of the small children. I felt a rage boil up in me. I blurted out words that weren't my own.


I couldn't breathe, I began to hyperventilate. My breathing came in gasps so rapid it hurt my chest. I punched my steering wheel a few times.

"I am not listening to you anymore! You don't control me!"

I felt my foot come off the break pedal. The truck began to roll. I thought I had enough self control. I guess I was wrong.

I knew what was coming. I knew he was taking over me very soon and that I would have very little chance to resist it. I knew that once he decided he wanted to show up there was no way anybody could stop him. he is the most foul, vulgar and ruthless entity that I have ever had to deal with my life, and the problem is he lives inside of me.

I began to depress the gas. My eyes darted back and forth, looking for something crazy...looking for a weekend to ruin. I was looking for somebody to hurt.

As I re-entered the main road, I felt the gas depress harder. The posted speed limit here was 45. I was easily going 60.

I kind of hope a cop pulled me over. I could explain it to him, I could stop this.

My eyes fixed on a group of people congregating out front of a gas station. They weren't social distancing, they didn't have masks on. They were hanging out, enjoying life. I turned towards the gas station and began to hit the gas even harder. I could smell it, hearing the engine roar like a lion on the plains, and these kids were oblivious.

"NO! STOP THIS!" I was yelling out loud to myself in my car.

But I couldn't stop. I knew I couldn't.

I am weak.

One of the boys noticed the car and pointed it out, and they all looked. I had a sick grin on my face. I was within arms length of the boys when they jumped out of the way. I think I clipped one as I barreled through the building. Both airbags exploded. I felt my nose crush on impact. The truck exploded through the gas station. There were screams all around me. The young cashier was trapped under my now smoking car.

I heard sirens. I heard screaming. I smelled gas. There was broken glass everywhere.

When they rushed to the car I had a smile on my face. When they asked me if I was okay and revived me the only thing that crossed my lips was "is she dead?".

I don't want to be this anymore, I don't want to do this anymore but I can't control it. I am him.

Chaos. Chris is dead.

[Image: P5BZ4gB.gif]

I woke up with a yell. My shirt was stuck to me. I have had a terrible nightmare. They say sometimes that dreams predict the future. I have been having dreams like this pretty frequently for the last couple of months. I know that pretty soon I'm going to just believe that it's a dream but it's really going to happen. I know they're pretty soon my reality is a dreamlike state and he is going to completely take me over.

You caused this. You all caused this. You all just couldn't leave well enough alone. Could not let me die, could not let me go away in peace. Now the man that I have become, I'm not even sure it is a man, but all I know is that you have awoken something deep inside of me.

War Games is your judgment day. Fuck the judge, fuck the jury, just consider me the Executioner.

[Image: XBuKpeI.gif]

I have tried to be civil. I have tried to work with everyone. I have tried to be a model co-worker and a banner XWF participant. I just can't do it. I came in, I worked hard, I kept my mouth shut. I tried to follow the plan. I tried to play nice. But the XWF will never change. They expect me to change but this place is just as backwards and deranged as ever. This place doesn't care about the right thing, they care about what brings them in the most money. Their greed, selfishness, and overall non caring for their roster members is maddening. They pay good, so they expect us to sweep it under the rug. I have tried to do everything that I can do but it's just not working. Because it's not me. I am who I am, and whether that is champion or mid card, I do what I do. I told all of you that I am the best in this company when I really want to be, but I have been reaching deep down I'm trying to find some motivation to actually get back in this whole thing again. I have been searching for something deep inside that propelled me to be but I was back in my glory days, "2016" as you all love to point out.

But it's just not there.

The reason why it's not there is because my entire career I've been doing everything for everybody else. I joined ax-3 because Jenny wanted me to oh, I found Empire because Jenny wanted it. I said back in the shadows continued to get dicked around on Savage instead of going for my quest to be unstoppable because she wanted it. I bend over backwards and broke my spine to looking out for her. I wanted everybody around me to be successful. I didn't want Erik Black in Empire. She did. I didn't want to become Tag Team Champions with Peter Gilmour, she did. I wanted to beat Jim Caedus down and be tag champs by myself, but SHE told me it would be good for me to reconcile. Now I sit here as a member of a team, drafted late by somebody who doesn't even like me, with a team I could single handedly eliminate.

I did not want to team up with Hanari, nor did I want to offer him a spot in Chaotic Inc, SHE told me he would be good for us.

No more. I am in this match for me and me alone. I will win, and if I don't win it's because I got bored and stop caring. I do what I want from this point forward and I cause chaos because I CAN. I enjoy mayhem, I enjoy unpredictability and I enjoy forcing management's hand. I enjoy taking out top superstar after to superstar until there is nobody left and they are forced to give me the shot. I enjoy hurting people.

Will I get along with this team? Sure I will because it benefits me. I'm not doing it because I have any alienation or even any respect for my team captain I know that the road will be a lot easier if I co-exist just once.

I look at this match and it baffles me to see that everybody is talking about how strong XWF is right now. I look at this match and everybody is comparing my heyday to today and talking about how it was so much weaker back then. Truth be told they only decent competitors in this entire match are the captains, and even they couldn't hang with Doc, with Soldier, hell with Bruce Blingsteen even with Thaddeus Duke. I was the universal champion at a time when the competition was the absolute best it's been in a decade. I wanted to bounce inside of an elimination chamber and yes Peter was the champion, but I had to beat Doc to get there and survive Bourbon, Trax, Soldier, you name it. XWF right now is mild sauce, and I am going to pick my spot and attack when nobody sees it coming.

It could be at War Games, it could be after.

To I think I am nervous about Big D, Doug Whitford, Vanessa Gibson....a man who talks to a severed head......... to think I am afraid of Warstein, wing nut Carver, or even Robert Main would he foolish. Hell I had those belts won, Hanari didn't get the job done.

Per usual. Story of his career. Hanari has been "almost good enough" since he got here.

Nobody is going to look out for ME. I have to do that. Hell is a place I call home, and I have been running away from home for far too long. It is time that I come home. You're all invited.

As for our opening round match.....I really don't have much to say. I am rolling into the White House and fucking shit up more than the government could ever dream of. I am going to make sure that not only do I advance, but nobody around me is left standing to advance. You don't have to believe me because I know that you will not. All you can do is sit back and wait for your fate.

[Image: jWXfOhm.gif]
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