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B.O.B. D · (06-15-2020)

I'm sure I disappointed alot of people upon my reveal. The fans, management(I KNOW Atticus is pissed and I gotta admit I LOVE it!); with all that hype, the mystery competitor just HAD to be someone! Perhaps the former Universal Champion? Maybe the Queen herself, Sarah Lacklan?(who deserves that moniker far more than Madison Dyson) I'd say Vinnie Lane, but he's more of a 'wait to steal the spotlight as a replacement' kind of guy. It didn't matter WHO it was, whether they were a listed name or not, surely the man behind the mystery was someone of note. I'm sure they would've been thrilled had it even been Ned fuckin' Kaye(at least HIS last match was for the Universal Championship), but instead, they got Big D.

My bad.

When I entered the arena for March Madness, I had every intention of competing at War Games. After being a Captain last year, I was curious to see where I'd end up being picked(with them actually KNOWING it was me!) Shane

was a wild card, as shown by his first pick of Dick Powers. There was a chance he'd choose me, if not just to fuck with me given our history, but I knew it'd be a long shot.

Robert Main was easy to read, there was no doubt he'd select Chris Page if given the chance(which he was). How times have changed, it was only a year ago that those two men were on opposite sides of the Cage wanting to tear the other apart. Now they stand, together, as Tag Team Champions.

Centurion was certainly in an interesting spot in the middle, essentially guaranteeing him two solid selections. I'd like to think he would've, at the very least, entertained the IDEA of choosing me, though I get the feeling he would've stuck with Robbie Bourbon. And who can blame him? He's a former Universal Champion who's never faced me one on one. If he had, I would've exposed him as a weak Champion in an even weaker era............... just like Gilly.

And then there's Fuzz. The man who beat me for the Xtreme Championship, knocked me out of Lethal Lottery(which is STILL more bullshit than any suppressed 'brackets'), AND managed to win the Tag Titles with his

son against the team Ned and I couldn't dethrone. For every step up Shawn Warstein's career takes, mine goes two steps down. In his eyes(as well as many others) I've always been a joke. Even though I helped him advance in Lethal Lottery, when I could've screwed him harder than the double team(TRIPLE if you count Blackwater) I ended up receiving in the next Round. Despite my Title reigns(over half of which he won't acknowledge because they're 24/7 belts), regardless of what I do or who I beat, I'm just another nobody in Fuzz's eyes. Barely a step up from Gilly. Bearing that in mind, it's hard to imagine a world in which the Universal Champion would willingly choose me.

Hanari Carnes' team would've made sense as a landing spot, especially given his options at that point. He was the last man I wrestled before my hiatus, and I made him earn his way to the March Madness Final. Having two of the Final Four from the Tournament on one team would certainly be formidable in itself, but when you add in the fact we're both multi-time Champions, it seems like a no brainer. But me, personally? This was the time I least wanted to be apart of, even BEFORE red-X was replaced by Fuzz's girlfriend. I know that sounds crazy, but I don't think I could bear helping the man who sent me into a temporary retirement; putting so much doubt it my mind, it forced me to rethink everything I'd done up to that point. After watching that chalupa waste the opportunity he'd stolen from me, I'd probably smash his face against the Cage, over and over again, before calling it a night............... earning myself MVP of the other team in the process. But, as much fun as that would be, I'd much rather be there in the end than leave before the show had even begun(like March Madness).

And then there's Atara Themis. I was happy for her in being named a Team Captain, as she deserves it for all her accomplishments as of late(except for losing to me ); but, in a way, I couldn't help but feel sad for her at the same time. Because of red-X's unfortunate 'accident'(no, not him being born), Atara was left in a poor position for Drafting. And, just as unfortunate, she had no idea that I was her best option. It's hard, though, how do you justify selecting someone when you have no idea who they are? This was a game shame, too, because I would've been perfect for her team. Much like Sarah Lacklan had been for me, I could've been the MVP to take her team to the next level. Instead, she got stuck with Felix Jones and Jenny Myst. While I can respect taking Jones, the man who slipped the Xtreme Title out from under her nose, surely taking the other man who beat you recently would've made for double the trouble. I guess sometimes you just gotta stick with the girl power.

Everything played out the way it did because of March Madness. As I'd done one too many times in my career, I let my emotions get the better of me. I didn't just lose a match at March Madness, I lost a piece of my soul. Hitting the showers before everyone else could even warm up was bad enough, but to do so with a loss was beyond humiliating. After everything I'd been through, from defeating Gilly at Cuntfest to eliminating the future Xtreme Champion, Atara, it was all for nothing. My life had become a broken record of constant failures, dating all the way back to War Games of last year. Robert Main, Fuzz, Lethal Lottery, any success I'd have would soon be overshadowed by a much larger failure.

Losing to Hanari and then going on to watch him lose absolutely broke me. I didn't lose to the King, I lost to the guy who couldn't even put in a little God damn effort to make my loss meaningful. Instead, I missed out on my opportunity to FINALLY get my hands on Dyson(a chance I may never get, again), all because Carnes premature ejaculated before the Final Round.

When Steve Sayors approached me after the show, throwing out every question in the book, I didn't know how to respond. What COULD I say?

"Sorry for shitting the bed, once again."
(nah, that's red-X's thing)

"It just wasn't my night............. I'll do better next time."
(like I hadn't said THAT a hundred times already)

"He was the better man."
(I truly DON'T believe that)

The excuses for my short comings had piled higher than all the shit from Shane's exploits over the years. I was just as tired of making them as everyone else was listening to 'em. In the heat of the moment, I told Steve the only thing I had left to say at that point: that I was done.

When I awoke the next day, I immediately regretted it; as if I'd made a drunken confession the night before and realized it was a mistake. I love this business, it's second only to my wife, and walking away from it isn't as easy as leaving your typical 9-5 job. Wrestling MADE me, both the good and the bad. While NWF and WWF sculpted me into the rough mold of a wrestler, XWF fine tuned it. If I had been even half the man I am now, back then, I would've held countless World Titles. But, HAD I been a multi-time World Champion, I never would've had a reason to step inside an XWF ring. Life's crazy like that. It's like how you know all good things must come to an end but, when you think that time is finally here, you just don't wanna let it go; which is exactly what I did! I let it go, KNOWING my time was far from over; after all............................. I still have a Universal Championship to win.

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Well, this is awkward. My War Games Team Captain just so happens to be the one man standing in the way of my ultimate goal. Son of a bitch.

The truth is, I despise Shawn Warstein. I don't like him as a wrestler, I hate him as a person, AND I think the way he beat the Engineer for the belt was cowardly, and beneath him. It kills me to think of that being Ned, winning his first ever World Title, only to have it swept out from under him just like that. While I won't argue that Fuzz isn't a better Champion than Engy was, it still doesn't mean I agree with his methods. There's no doubt he could've beaten him in a fair, one on one contest, but instead he went down the same path as Robert Main and took the easy way out. Even IF his reign is long, no matter how many successful Title defenses he has, people will always question the way he won it. Main STILL gets called out for it, you can bet the same will be true for Fuzz, as well. The ONLY redeeming quality of his cash in was that, honestly, it was funny as hell! I may not have thought so at first(as I was too busy worrying about my next step in life), but after I had time to digest it and come to terms with the fact it WASN'T Ned, I was literally laughing out loud. After all the shit him and Shane had put Ned and I through leading up to March Madness, it felt good to see him go down in such a way. Two different Engineers go down to two surprise cash-ins from two different competitors................ this business truly IS poetry, at times.

Despite my history with Fuzz, I have every intention to watch his back. The same goes for our ragtag group of teammates, as well.

The other mystery competitor, Doug, a man who doesn't look like much, but may very well prove to us all that looks can be deceiving.

Vanessa Gibson, a woman who takes no shit from ANY man, myself included! Luckily for us, there'll be enough balls to rip off on the opposite side of the ring for her to worry about ours.

Lestrange, the Heavymetalweight Champion. Despite knowing almost as little about him as I do Doug, I can respect the fact he went out and got himself some gold. While our Captain may not share in that sentiment, I'm sure it will only further push Lestrange to prove he's much more than a measly 24/7 Champion.

Whatever my teammates' motivation may be, as long as they're in it to win it, that's all that matters to me. If I had my way, all five of us would advance to the Main Event. The thought of our entire team beating down on the likes of Robert Main & Chris Page, as well as Atara all by her lonesome, brings me great joy. We'd go down in the history books as the most dominant War Games team of ALL-TIME. I just hope that when the time comes, Fuzz can put his feelings for his girlfriend on the side, and do what's needed to assure our victory. Something tells me he's more than capable of it, but if he needs a little push, I'll kick Atara's ass, myself, again. And if the Champ has a problem with that, I'll mutiny and show him what it means to be a TRUE leader. Because no-one, whether foe or ally, will stop me from having my hand raised at the end of the night. I didn't come back just to sit in the backseat, or even shotgun, I did it because I intend to be the driving force behind the Federation; to ensure that the name 'Big D' is remembered among the likes of Fuzz, Robert Main, the Engineer, and..................... Centurion.

"Oh, how the tables have turned. It was just last year that Centurion was criticizing the team I drafted, but now I'M doing the same for HIS. Half of his team belongs in a nursing home, and the other half should focus on their other careers."

"I'll never forget what Centurion said to me leading up to our match on Savage last year. He proclaimed to the world that my ceiling was MAYBE the TV Title. And while his insulting prediction came true, it was FAR surpassed. I went on to hold the second highest Championship in the company; and if they'd ever give me a fuckin' Universal Title shot, I'd have held that too!"

"You wanna talk about ceiling, Cent', how 'bout YOU?! I won't deny you've had a helluva reign as Hart Champion, but what does that actually mean? While your win over Tony was impressive, the rest of your run has been rather flat. Constant defenses against Gilly and Robbie Bourbon doesn't do much for a resume, regardless of their past. Which is how I feel about you. Nobody views you as a top level talent anymore. Even with Robert Main neglecting his Apex duties to play grab ass with Chris Page, you still play second fiddle to James Raven and, considering he doesn't actually DO anything, that's pretty pathetic. When I look at you, I see the exact same thing you said I would become. A lowly mid-carder taking pride in a secondary reign because they'll never make it any higher. What a fall from grace."

"Speaking of falls from grace, that brings me to Robbie Bourbon. Whenever I hear his name, I think about Leap of Faith when his fat ass went tumbling from the rafter to the floor. Funniest shit I've ever seen! He looked like a drunken fool stumbling to the ring, lugging his way to the top, only to crash harder than the Engineer's Title reign!"

"People refer to Robbie Bourbon as a National Treasure, which is a kind way of saying 'past his prime.' Sure, he's a former Universal Champion, but so are Scully, Gilly, and Theo! Robbie beat James Raven at the end of HIS own heyday, before losing it to the original Engineer. Once guys like Engy and Robert Main began showing up, Robbie Bourbon was no longer a household name. He'd become irrelevant, with nothing but the past to comfort him. Just like his dear Team Captain.................. just like his teammate, Chris Chaos."

"It doesn't matter to me that Chris Chaos is a former Universal Champion. He won the belt from Peter fuckin' Gilmour for crying out loud! Anyone else would've done the same thing, in his position! Chris Chaos won a die roll and got to face a shitty Champion, during an even shittier time in XWF's history! I've said this to alot of former Champions, but the words have never rung more true than they do for Chris Chaos. There were no Lux's, or Fuzz's, or even Big D's back then; it was just a bunch of turds personally plucked from Shane

's bathroom. You're absolute trash, and the fact that Centurion picked you strictly because you're a former Champion only shows you have nothing else to show for yourself. Just a name once temporarily stamped onto a piece of gold. That's it. The fact that you were picked after not one, but TWO mystery guys shows that no-one ACTUALLY wanted you! They were willing to risk getting Taco the pig, or Bilbo f'ing Bumpkinz over your sorry ass!"

"And while we're on the subject of sorry asses, how 'bout Calvary? You've heard of zero to hero? Well, flip two words around and you've got Cav. He was one of the favorites to win March Madness(along with Madison Dyson & myself) and he ended up being eliminated from Thunder Knuckles in the first round! But the downward spiral was only beginning, as Calvary went on to get absolutely GOONED by Mastermind and the Misfits, before putting up as much of a challenge to the Universal Champion as Drezdin did. If Centurion's lucky, Calvary will decide not to show his face at War Games; at least then get someone of value to his team."

"Which brings me to my last opponent...................

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"Tua Tagovailoa! Now, you can imagine my surprise when I saw Cent' had selected the new Quarterback for the Miami Dolphins! A young, fresh body among all these geezers, there's no doubt Tua will be expected to carry the load! Given his injury history, I don't think his poor ole knees will be able to bear such a heavy burden!"

"It doesn't matter to me which member of Team Centurion I face, because none of them are capable of keeping ME out of the Main Event! If people truly wanna know if Big D can handle a Universal Title match, watch as he destroys the belt's history in a single match! Because I'm not just looking to win, I'm out to make a statement! Come War Games, when I'm surrounded by the current Universal Champion, as well as a plethora of former ones, everyone's gonna find out real quick just where Big D belongs! And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!"

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