UNLEASH THE CHEEKI BREEKI!



Thas right, Comrades! Boris is not screwing around this week. No fun and games for the Slav Superstar.

Why? Because Boris is mad! And I am mad because I face Nathan Inhouse on Saturday Sausage, and he has not said word about Boris! Why is this? It can not be because Nathan knows nothing of Boris. I am Slav Superstar! I am biggest celebrity in Slovakia! Nathan has heard of Boris blin. This I have no doubt.

It must be because Nathan does not see Boris as a threat. He must think there is no reason to talk about me because he already knows he is going to win. This is insult to Boris! Every wrestler think "oh Boris, he is joke. He talk about Lada and mayonez. He is not real wrestler." This is where everyone is wrong! Just because Boris is not wrestling every week does not mean he is not one of the best wrestlers in the Federation of Xtreme Wrestlers. Cyka blyat, I survived Carolvirus! I fought in war for blin sake!

...As far as you know, anyway.

Nathan Inhouse think he can walk to ring and just beat Boris. Why? Because he wants to fight Friend Centurion? That makes him special blin? I do not see that. I see someone who rarely fights blin. Nathan only show up when he needs paycheck. He is like Cousin Antoli at day job , except Nathan has not been fired nineteen times.

Nathan is a spooky wolf man Nazi. Is Boris supposed to be impressed? What, you turn into giant wolf and you want to create super race? You are just like every old man in Slovakia cyka blyat! Drink a bit of vodka, and you become Cold War Gopnik. These are men who wrestle bears blin. Is true, look it up.

You want to know what Boris thinks, comrades? I think Nathan wants to build super race to hide his own shortcomings blin. I think Nathan has no self-esteem, and he wants to create people he wish he was. Inside, Nathan is just little boy crying for his babushka.

"Boris. Are you listening?"

Ah yes, I was lost in thought blin. I almost forgot - Alexei and Russian Rose sit in front of me, talking to me. I have only heard a few words they have said - Boris is already a half a bottle down in the vodka, and I am enjoying the free food Van Lane gives to all Anchor wrestlers. This is why I show up on off days - Boris is never one to turn down a free meal. Sometimes three, depending on how big a box I can bring with me blin.

Alexei and his brother approached me as I was eating my sandwich. They bring bottle of vodka. As far as Boris is concerned, they are now comrades. Boris remembers those who are good to me. These men come and bring Boris drink. What is there not to like?

"I think you and my brother would make a wonderful pairing."

His brother is Russian Rose, who is giant man. He look like old Soviet bodybuilder. The kind that would take lots of steroids and win hundreds of gold medals for the USSR. As a little gopnik, these were my heroes. Everyone wanted to be like those Olympians - strong, loved, with many women, and always beating Western spies. And this man look like he beat many Western spies.

"As long as you are good to Boris, Boris will have your back."

This is same thing I tell Friend Centurion. Is true. Boris remembers his friends.

Alexei grabs bottle and pours three more shots. He hands one to Russian Rose, and one to Boris, while holding the third.

"Приветствия. Партнерам."

"Yeet."

As I drink, I think more about Nathan Inhouse. Does he have friends blin? Or does he sit alone in forest all day long? It must be sad existence to be a hated wolf man. Perhaps he can find new life among the woodland creatures? Or maybe he can be locked up in zoo! Americans would pay a lot of money to see spooky wolf man in cage. It would not be bad idea after he lose his job.

I feel bad for Friend Centurion. I know he wants to beat up Nathan, but that may not happen. Boris may embarrass Nathan so bad, he never show up again. The cheeki breeki is not for everyone. Is no toy. But I will try to keep a piece of Nathan for him. I do not want to rob Friend Centurion of his revenge.