Thunder Knuckles is sitting at home in his trailer. He has nothing else better to do than watch the official War Games draft. Jimmy is with Thunder Knuckles so he understands everything going on.


Jimmy go get me a beer.


Thunder Knuckles thinks Jimmy is there to get him a beer, not talk shop.


Thunder Knuckles it’s about to start. You can wait.

Beer, Jimmy!


Jimmy quickly retrieved Thunder Knuckles, a cold refreshing Bud Light.


Jimmy nothing tastes better than a cold Bud Light on draft day don’t ya think?


Jimmy looks visibly upset because Thunder Knuckles hasn’t talked like this since before Thunder Knuckles went missing. Jimmy hands Thunder Knuckles his beer. As soon as Jimmy hands Thunder Knuckles his beer, Thunder Knuckles cracks it open.


Nothing goes better with self-quarantine than a crisp cool refreshing-


Pip Collins' voice could be heard on the television. That's when Jimmy cuts off Thunder Knuckles mid-pitch.


Alright, they’re about to start the draft. Want to guess when you’ll go?

Guess, my ass! Want to place bets?


Jimmy doesn’t answer by the time. Pip announces that the evil bitch Vanessa Veigns





has selected Dick Powers as the number one overall draft pick, for Shane .


Looks like a fucking weirdo to me Jimmy.

Shhh! Pip is talking!


Pip Collins yammers on about Dick Powers for a few mins before Robert Main





selects Chronic Chris Page with his first pick.


Saw that coming.

I think everyone did Thunder Knuckles. Hey while they cut to commercial we should talk about your special guest referee match against Mike.


Thunder Knuckles takes a drink from his beer.


You’ll have to go get me another beer first.


Jimmy gets up and races to get another beer. He is hoping to get back before the commercial break to talk about Brian Storm. Just as Jimmy makes it back and hands Thunder Knuckles his new beer, Pip Collins begins talking about the Universal Champion Shawn Warstein.





Next commercial break we have to talk about Mike!


Thunder Knuckles smiles knowing that probably isn’t going to happen the way Jimmy thinks. Shawn selected Atara Themis.


Shocker…

Wait. What's this?


Theo Pryce comes out and pimp slaps the Universal Champion with news that Atara Themis is a team captain after red-x was killed brutally on a show that’s considered so bad that Centurian is their Champion.


Interesting…

Indeed! Aren’t you guys, you know, cool.

Yeah, something like that.

Look at this smug fuck playing it off like his butt isn’t chapped.


Shawn Warstein selects Mystery Competitor number 2.


Why didn’t he just take one?

Rolled the fucking dice, Jimmy. Jesus, come on, man. Let’s see how that works out for him.

Hey, they're cutting to commercial. Now we can talk about Mike.

I have to piss I'll be right back. Grab me a beer for when I get back Jimmy, will ya?


Thunder Knuckles while talking gets up and walks out of the room. Jimmy goes to get Thunder Knuckles a beer, looking disgruntled. Jimmy makes it back long before the commercial break is over while Thunder Knuckles trots back in right as Pip Collins announces Centurion





to make his first pick. As Centurion is talking Thunder Knuckles falls fast asleep. Jimmy yells out to wake Thunder Knuckles from his sudden slumber.


Thunder Knuckles!


Thunder Knuckles startled at waking up.


Robbie Bourbon… Goddamn it! This fucking boring fuck took Robbie Bourbon. I was hoping to team with Bourbon!

It’s not too late Cent-

Not a fucking chance. Not because of Robbie Bourbon. Keep that in mind. It’s just Centurion is about the most boring fuck on this planet the only way he wins is if get all the entertaining people he can. We’ll have to see.


Pip Collins announces Hanari Carnes





to make his first selection.


This fucking guy.

He may have beaten you heading into March Madness but it turned out to be a blessing Thunder Knuckles.

I suppose considering at the Pay-Per-View I beat Noah Jackson something Mike can never fucking say… Ever…

AND! You’ve held the TEL- XBUX Championship longer than him.


Hanari Carnes announces MasterMind as his first-round pick. Both Thunder Knuckles and Jimmy begin laughing.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Pip Collins introduces Atara Themis





for her first selection in just enough time for Thunder Knuckles not to notice Jimmy’s slip up.


This is it, Jimmy. First fucking round.


Atara Themis selects Felix Jones. Thunder Knuckles is shocked but takes a big swig of his beer.


It’s alright Thunder Knuckles, Atara gets the first pick of the second round.

Shut the fuck up, Jimmy. Let her talk.


Jimmy remains quiet and waits for Atara Themis to make her second selection. Once she selects Jenny Mist as her second selection. Thunder Knuckles drinks a bit from his beer as the feed goes to commercial.


Jimmy go get me another beer.


Jimmy doesn't argue and quickly gets a beer. Once Jimmy returns he reminds Thunder Knuckles, who already seems irritated, about his match on Savage.


So, Mik-

ALRIGHT, JIMMY! FUCK! LET'S TALK ABOUT MIKE!


Thunder Knuckles yelling at Jimmy catches Jimmy off guard.


GO AHEAD TELL ME ALL THE GREAT THINGS HE'S DONE!


Jimmy pauses.


WELL, COME ON, JIMMY!

Well-

WELL, NOTHING THE DUDE IS A FUCKING SHIT HOUSE! FUCKING GARBAGE! THIS FUCKING DUDE HASN’T BEEN SHIT SINCE HE GOT HIRED BY XWF! THE MOST MEMORABLE FUCKING THING HE’S DONE WAS BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIS OWN FUCKING TEAM. CONGRATULATIONS, DICK WAD! YOU STILL FUCKING LOST! THAT'S EVEN IF ANYONE FUCKING REMEMBERS IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! SHIT! I BASICALLY WASTED AND ENTIRE FUCKING DAY WATCHING BULLSHIT PROMO, AFTER BULLSHIT PROMO, AFTER BULLSHIT PROMO OF THIS FUCKING GUY. KNOW WHAT I FOUND OUT JIMMY?!

Tha-

THAT HE’S FUCKING DOG SHIT! SERIOUSLY! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING SAY ABOUT THE GUY? NAME ONE FUCKING THING OF NOTE THAT HE'S DONE! YOU CAN'T! BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING! FUCKING HELL, MANAGEMENT REALLY GRASP FOR FUCKING STAWS WITH THIS ONE, JIMMY! NOONE ON SAVAGE DESERVES A SHOT BEFORE THIS GUY!? FUCKING PLEASE! HAVE A FUCKING PROMO LONGER THAN ONE OF MY FARTS AFTER DRINKING A GLASS OF MILK!


Pip Collins interrupts Thunder Knuckles yelling to induce back Hanari Carnes. At this point, Thunder Knuckles looks like he’s catching a buzz.


Look Taco is back.

Taco is a pig.

You can say that again.


Thunder Knuckle smiles at Jimmy as if to say Hanari Carnes is no better than Taco the pig.


TEN xbux says Peter Fucking Gilmour could beat Hanari Carnes.

I’ll take that bet, Thunder Knuckles!

It wouldn't be the first time someone has lost betting against Peter Fucking Gilmour. It’s more fun to bet ON Peter Fucking Gilmour!


Hanari Carnes picks Micheal Graves for his second selection.


Now, that's a guy who’d #STANDUPFORGILLY!


Jimmy puts his head down knowing that Thunder Knuckles is starting to become too drunk to handle.


Speaking of which have you gotten ahold of anyone to get that mother fucker… Sorry… Daughter fucker into the ring?

I-

It doesn’t matter. Who’s next in the draft again?

Cent-

I'm going to go take a piss. Fill me in when I get back… You know what I’ll go take a piss and get my own beer.


While Thunder Knuckles is gone Jimmy’s phone rings.


Hey man, I was hoping you’d get back to me.


The person on the other end of the phone can’t be heard.


Are you cool with being the special guest referee?


Jimmy waits for the response from the person on the other end of the call.


Great news! You know, let’s just keep it a secret until you come out. It’ll be great and it’ll boost the ratings a little because of the surprise. We have to do something cause Thunder Knuckles's opponent is absolutely more atrocious than Tommy Wish. At least Tommy Wish can hold his own.


Who’s that?


Thunder Knuckles who has made it back in time for the commercials to start.


It’s a surprise! This is the special guest referee. Just confirmed.

Did you get a good price?

Sure did, Thunder Knuckles!


Thunder Knuckles gets the one-minute finger from Jimmy who asks the secret special guest referee a question.


Okay, by the way, did you see who Centurion took in the second round while we were on the phone?


Jimmy waits for the reply.


Okay, thanks. See you on Savage.


Jimmy hangs up the phone.


Centurion took Tula Keali'i.

There goes the grabbing up of the entertaining people.


Thunder Knuckles cracks open his new beer and waits for Pip Collins to introduce the Universal Champion again. After Shawn tries to pick a competitor who wasn’t on the draft, Theo Pryce comes in verbally to slap Warstein with Mystery Competitor number 1.


Guess it doesn’t pay to play outside the rules.

Fuck, Jimmy! I could have told you that! Shit if that worked I’d have beat FuZz on Christmas day, for sure!


Thunder Knuckles smiles because Shawn knows. Oh, Shawn knows. Thunder Knuckles takes another drink of his beer. Pip Collins reintroduces Robert Main to make his second selection.

(05-08-2020, 11:28 AM)Robert "The Omega" Main Said: Give me Thunder Fucking Knuckles..

Thunder Knuckles is shocked. He can’t believe he got picked by Robert Main.


Thunder Knuckles you-

Shut up, Jimmy!


Thunder Knuckles smiles and takes a drink of his beer.


Don’t you know what this means?!

I have a pretty good idea. Isn’t this guy like a former Universal Champion or something?

Thunder Knuckles he’s the second longest-running Universal Champion in XWF history!


Pip Collin announces the evil bitch Vanessa Veigns once again who makes the second round and third-round picks for Shane . Vanessa Veigns selects in the second round The Hired Gun and the Thir round pick is Peter Fucking Gilmour!


Fuck yeah, Peter!

Why are you so happy?

I just knew that’s where Peter Fucking Gilmour wanted to be all along.


The program cuts to commercial. Before Robert Main is reintroduced to inform XWF fans around the world, who’s about to be the fourth member of team Main.


Mik-

Shut up, Jimmy. At least wait for the waste of space to be drafted before we talk about him again.

Fine, but this could take all day.

Oh, I'm sure it will. Why would anyone want to draft the guy? Who willingly beats the shit out of his team?

We-

It was fucking retarical.

Rhetorical.


Thunder Knuckles slaps Jimmy.


That’s what I said you fucking prick.


While Thunder Knuckles slaps and verbally reprimanded Jimmy, Robert Main chooses Russian Rose.


Not fucking bad.

It’s looking pretty good for team Main, Thunder Knuckles.


Thunder Knuckles gives a half-grin to Jimmy.


It sure does. Who’s next FuZ- Shawn?

Yeah.

I wonder what kinda wacky bull shit this mother fucker is going to try to pull this time.


Pip Collins welcomes the Universal Champion. Who's been having a really hard day looking and reading names off a paper for some reason. Warstein again starts to announce another person not involved with War Games this year. Theo Pryce again comes out and picks for Shawn. Theo Selects Vanessa Gibson for team Warstein in the third round. Centurion comes out to select Chris Chaos for his third-round pick while Thunder Knuckles take a giant number two in the bathroom. Once Thunder Knuckles comes back from the bathroom he asks…


Who did boring fuck pick?

Chris Chaos.

Didn’t Centurion trash this guy's whole career?

He sure did.


Thunder Knuckles smiles.


Idiot.


Pip Collins announces Hanari Carnes for his third-round pick and selects Zane Norrison.


That guy can eat a dick. Who plays pretend zombie, anyway?


Jimmy shrugs and waits for Pip to announce Atara Themis who takes Shooter Syn as her third-round selection and with her fourth-round selection, she chooses Jim “the Jim” Jimson.


Finally! She does something right!


Jimmy mumbles to himself.


Oh, yay… Jim Jimson’s back.

What was that Jimmy?

I said, YAY, JIM JIMSON’S BACK!

Dude fucking rocks! You better not be fucking hatin’, Jimmy.


Hanari comes out to make his fourth and final pick, Liam Roberts.


Oh, you’d love this guy Thunder Knuckles.

Really?! Is he a legend?

Of sorts.

He sucks, doesn't he.

Nailed it.


Centurion comes out and picks up Calvary for his final selection. While Thunder Knuckles gets another beer and cracks it open. Once Thunder Knuckles sits back down in his chair. The Universal Champion is trying to beat a dead horse by selecting Noah Jackson. Who like most people he chose weren’t able to be drafted. This again prompts Theo Pryce to come out and pick LeStrange for Shawn’s last pick.


What was first funny has turned the Universal Champion into a fucking idiot.

Can’t argue that.


Rober Main comes back out to simply say this for his fourth and final selection.

(05-08-2020, 01:57 PM)Robert "The Omega" Main Said: uh.... LoMo....

Turn it off Jimmy.

Wait… Shane ’s team is about to select Mike.

Yeah kinda like picking the fat kid for dodge ball, fucking last. LoMo was selected before him. Chew on that shit for a minute, Jimmy. The dude is fucking useless. As useless as his entire family and extended family. Which includes his girlfriend, if he even has one, or any ex-girlfriend whoever has had the displeasure of seeing the underside to that fucking belly of his. I'd waste time telling XWF fans around the world about how badly I'm going to leave this fucking goon, but I wouldn't want to waste any of their time. We all know what's about to happen, except for Mike. He's fucking clueless.


Thunder Knuckles finally notices that the cameraman. The cameraman had blended in so well that Thunder Knuckles completely forgot he was there.


Cameraman get a good look at this, right here.


Thunder Knuckles points to his face.


Mike. You might as well back down now bitch because you're fucking done. Cut the fucking camera. I’m DONE wasting my time on this piece of trash. Oh, Todd, roll the video package of Mike's career. That way the simple-minded fuck gets it.




The camera fades to black with running a Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 advertisement or Steven P. Coolie commercial. Thunder Knuckles has deemed Brian Storm not worth the extra money spent.