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Tula Kealiʻi · (05-02-2020)

------Monday, March 9, 2020------

Quote:Tula: We need to talk.

I've waited long enough.

For six months, I've put off sending this text. I guess I always thought answers would just come to me. Like I was going to wake up and suddenly my life was going to sort itself out.

But six months fighting in bars and dingy gyms have gotten me no closer to my goal. And the longer I wait, the longer I risk my only chance if making it in the world of combat sports. So I need to text Centurion. And I need to get to New Jersey.

So far, I've made it all the way...to Johnstown, Pennsylvania. Where this whole story began. Fuck.

Not only that, but the global pandemic known as COVID-19, or the novel Coronavirus, has begun to make its way to the United States, disrupting travel and canceling events across the country. All of the MMA and boxing matches I could have scored here have been cancelled. I either have to suck it up and text Centurion, or send in my application to McDonalds.

I take a deep breath and stare at the message. Worst case scenario, he says no. He says he does not know me, and does not wish to help me. I can live with that. I've lived though this harsh life without much help as it is.

But how am I going to tell him about Dad? He and my father may not have been super close, but they did make a lot of money together. I remember Centurion sitting on our back patio while Dad hit him with those whitty zingers he had, making Centurion laugh all throughout the night. THAT was paradise, not the shitty capitalist version my brother has created and distorted for his own personal pleasure.

SEND

I press it. It's out there now. So all I can do is wait.

I lay back in bed, enjoying all the comforts this Quality Inn provides. Compared to the last several stops on my tour, this is luxury. It's quiet. It doesn't smell like stale weed. The bed isn't directly up against the window. And the television actually works. For $45, that's basically living in the Ritz.

As I flip through the television channels, I can't help but think of the last words my brother told me before I left. "You could always come work for me." I don't know what would make him happier - seeing me struggle on the road, or seeing me give up and come crawling to him. It's probably the latter, though the idea of me getting my face kicked in week after week for hot dogs probably gives him a hard on, too.

He claims to have looked up to our father, when in reality, he looked up to his money. He never would have had the brains or the gumption to actually build something from scratch. Dad took a small loan and turned it into a thriving business. Kaniela took a thriving business and turned it into a way to pick up chicks.

So if Centurion says "no", I don't know what I will do. Maybe join that lingerie football league I hear a lot about on Twitter. Can't say I like the idea of constantly being in my underwear, but apparently women make pretty good money slamming into one another. If I'm going to run around half naked, I'm damn sure going to be paid for it. Don't give away what you can charge for. In the words of the great prophet Missy Elliott, "Ain't no shame, ladies do that thang. Just make sure you're ahead of the game."

BZZZ!! BZZZ!!

There it is. A response. It was honestly quicker than I expected. This could he a good thing or a bad thing. He's either excited to hear from me, or he texted "who dis?" Only one way to find out. I pick up my phone.

Quote:Centurion: Sure! Good to hear from you! Give me a call!

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Last week, I fashioned a hypothesis. I said that Hanari Carnes and Chris Chaos, my opponents for this week, were either going to come into match dejected following their recent losses at the hands of the top two champions, or they would over compensate and enter this match with confidence oozing out of their ears.

It was the latter.

Doesn't matter to me, honestly. Win or lose, my career path is still the same. I'm getting a number one contenders match in my second contest on Savage. I'm playing with house money. Chaos and Hanari, though, this is the only opportunity they have left. So I do not blame them if they want to hurl insults my way. They are under a lot of pressure.

I do find it rather funny, however, that their attempts at tearing me down were so incredibly lackluster. In case you did not know, I am Hawaiian. That is apparently the only think Chris Chaos knows about me. And I get it, I am brand new here, but being racist against Polynesian people is so 1940. I'm surprised I wasn't called a linebacker, since all Hawaiians play football. Maybe I should take them to a Luau.

News flash for everyone - I'm not your fire spinner, I'm not your hula girl, and I'm not your Mai Tai server.

Chris Chaos also did that thing that every ultra manly man has to do - they flex their machismo in front of a woman in an attempt to impress her. Unfortunately for him, I am not easily impressed. I have eyes. I can watch wrestling. And all I've seen lately is Chris Chaos on his back.

He wanted to bring up Centurion as a comparison, which I understand, given our connection. He asked if I would say the same thing about Centurion that I say about him in terms of a resume. And my response is - yes. I would. Because a long list of accomplishments mean nothing. But there is a massive difference - Centurion is a champion. Right now, as we speak. So it's not that he won - it's that he's currently still winning. Something I can not say for Chris Chaos.

But hey, I'm the new, young, naive girl, right? I can just easily be manipulated into thinking someone is great just because they say so, right? I don't know any better, so I guess I'll just assume Chris Chaos is a fantastic wrestler, right?

Sorry, but that's not me. I don't know everything, but I know enough to know why this match was set up - it's because they want to give Chaos and Carnes a win to justify them getting a title shot after weeks upon weeks of losing.

That's it. The management would rather give a tag title shot to Vita Valenteen and Vanessa Gibson, two wrestlers that don't even know each other, than give it to Chaos and Carnes right now, because they can't justify giving Chaos and Carnes a title shot. And yet those two want to puff their chests out and talk about how great they are, like me and my partner are idiots. Well, Russian Rose may be an idiot, but I'm not.

Still, I understand Chris Chaos' attitude. He won a Universal Title. He's reached the top of the ladder. No matter what happens, no one will take that away from him. So, sure, he can act cocky when he talks about me.

What I don't understand is where Hanari Carnes gets the idea that he can talk trash to anyone, given his recent output has been worse than subpar. If someone wants to debate whether or not Chris Chaos belongs in the Hall of Legends, fine. But no one is going to say Hanari Carnes belongs in there. Not even Carnes' mother.

I congratulate Carnes for at least doing his homework about me. He knows about my brother, my MMA background, all that. He did more than the bare minimum, which I guess I can respect. But these things are not me. They are just part of who I am. Just like Hanari Carnes isn't just a stereotype of every Dominican seen on cable television - it's just part of who he is.

I have more respect for Hanari as a person than assume that he's one dimensional. He's far more. He's not just a stereotype - he's also a sub par wrestler who over compensates for his shortfalls by pulling a veneer of machismo and misogyny over top of an incredibly broken man.

I'm not the kind of person who guarentees victories. I refuse to do so. There are so many things that can happen that can make the person making the guarentee look like a fool. What are do know is that I will earn people's respect tomorrow night. I may not win, but it sure isn't going to be for lack of trying.

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