ooc: 2985 words according to board counter.





We are just moments away from catching up with D-R-W Labs, but first let's reflect a bit on just what D-R-W is.

For centuries, D-R-W has been an ever-present force of geopolitical manipulation by way of humanoid modification and experiments beyond the scope of anything that has ever been acceptable practice even in the most barbaric of historic times. The XWF's first introduction to the power of this organization was believed to be around 2004, when one of the most well known products of their nightmarish vision was brought to the federation to aid Shane and his Black Order. That product's name was of course...

WEAPON:ASHEN

To this day, the effects of Weapon:Ashen can still be felt. For instance, some have speculated that Shawn Warstein's inability to engage Shane directly is somehow tied to something from well over a decade ago regarding Weapon:Ashen.

Interesting note: Around the time of Weapon:Ashen's dominance of the XWF, it was quite common to see much more elaborate promo productions, complete with all the bells and whistles you could imagine, sometimes even including a GUI interface the "viewer" could interact with to reveal such information as the upcoming opponent, a favorite quote, a list of current enemies, and even a list of defeated opponents — all right there for the viewer's pleasure and to keep them up to speed with current events.

We sourced a small piece of the statistics that were typically displayed on a graphical overlay during Weapon:Ashen's promos, and found this:


Take a closer look. At the time of this promo, Weapon:Ashen's record was 28/8 with a grand total of FIVE of those wins being over the man who has, to this day, gone down his history as "Weapon:Ashen's most defeated opponent" and we all recognize that name, don't we?

"But Weapon:Ashen ain't Shane, so how does dis madurrr?" - I'm sure that's what you're asking right about now, oh predictable ones, but there's only one person who can tell you the real answer, and we're making sure this goes up with more than enough time for him to have NO excuse to fail in doing so. Why does Fuzz feel that being absolutely dominated by Shane 's personal weapon over a decade ago is reason to run in fear of ever directly addressing ANYTHING Shane ever says about him or to his face now? Why do so many chance encounters between the two, even in the "24/7 halls" end with Shawn begging Shane to shut up and leave him alone if he even speaks up at ALL? Perhaps Shawn Warstein is a lot smarter than Fuzz was, and knows it would take less than a month for him to become the undisputed "most defeated" by Shane , despite Shane's abysmally laughable win/loss record otherwise.

At least Weapon:Ashen was a killer in that ring. Shane is a running joke, if that... and Shawn knows there's no coming back from the defeats he'd 100% be guaranteed to suffer in any 1-on-1 encounters with Shane 's brilliance.

Who am I, though? What's my interest in all of this? Well, if you were paying any attention at all in the last promo, it's not going to come as a shock that I'm Shane , but not the all-bluster Shane you've seen as of late who has been running around half-cocked while dispatching cack-handed potato references and interacting with lower level competitors over a bottom tier title for the past week. Instead, I'm the Shane that remembers seeing Fuzz fall to my own vision... my own decree... more times than anyone else in history through my personal instruments of destruction during the Jonathyn era, which takes away Shawn's predictable go-to where he loves crediting peoples wins to whoever was the owner at the time. Watch him try and convince us that Jonathyn had some favoritism that was strong enough to cross the boundaries into affecting match outcomes, or some batshit crazy story.

Now, since we can't get Shawn to directly address any of what Shane ran circles around him with over the past several months, let's just pay homage to our dear friend Blizzard and crush some of Fuzz's ridiculous quotes this week that had abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING to do with ANY of what Shane has scorched the living shit out of him with prior.

Quote:"The two of us go way back, not nearly as far as you and Cent, but way back. Standing there in the ring with You under the banner of the Black Order. Nothing felt so good."

That?

THAT????

That's what you cling to when you think back to our memories? Me allowing you to be carried by my Black Order?!?!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Funny how that's not what stands out to ME!!!!! See exhibit A that was displayed a minute ago, Mr. Most Beaten Bitch. HAHAHAHAHA! My god, flunky; just how debased are your senses and standards?

Speaking of not remembering, I forgot you were even IN the Black Order!!!!!!!!!! You bag carrying shit-rat! You know we had no problems carrying our own gear into the building after you got bounced, right?

Ah, I'll never get an answer to that either. Instead, you'll probably say something like this again...

Quote:"You wanted to be the best, you just weren’t good enough. You wanted the spotlight firmly on yourself, you just couldn’t get enough of it."

Ok, so was Shane not good enough or was he so used to being in the spotlight that he couldn't get enough of it? This is gilmour level logic, amateur boy. I can't believe I have to waste time addressing this garbage. How are you still a rookie this far into your career, yet also carrying the top title? You are, by far, the most impressive hybrid of shit that makes FUCK ALL for sense. You're like a wheelchair bound gimp that somehow occasionally can dunk over a 7-footer! How?!?!?

Quote:"Shane you think I don’t know what you’re going to say about me? You’ll bring up all my failures. You’ll bring up Atty. You’ll bring up all the BS with the cash in and how without Vin, Gunn and Theo it wouldn’t have happened. Guess what tho?"

Wait, don't tell me.

Let me guess, ok?

…

…

…

Oh, I know — you were 100% wrong in your entire list of predictions? Ding ding ding! I win the prize again!

How are you this stupid? I'll bring up all your failures? Don't people remember them clearly enough without me reminding them? And when it comes to "Atty" which by the way is the ugliest damn petname I've ever heard, I'm pretty sure I went as far as to say I could start making jokes about her, but specifically brought the dialogue right back to focusing on how you can't grow a backbone and go trash-for-trash with this man you fear. What exactly did you think I'd have to say about Atty anyway? That her gimpy tit stands out way more than she thinks it does in her photos? Why do I care?

What else, dumb ass? Oh, the cash in I was supposed to mention? Sounds like you just explained to the world FOR ME exactly what went down, idiot! Haha, thanks!

Quote:"Your opinion doesn’t mean shit. It hasn’t meant shit for a long time and now I’ll prove it. Now fuck off and okay with the kiddie toys."

Good point about my opinion, which is why I haven't stated it. I've stated facts, provided proof, and if need be can collect the rest of the evidence of your cowardice in relation to me and air it all in a news update through the XWF's website if you dare piss me off enough.

What's that you said at the end, though? Let me listen a little closer here...

Quote:"Now fuck off and okay with the kiddie toys."

…...............................HUH?!??? I'm done. I can't even with this walking sack of cucktard shit.

Next?

Centurion! Oh, thank GOD! Somebody that can't keep track of what they've said and contradicts himself at every turn! Yay!

Let's start with this gem, eh?

Quote:"Normally I am able to just push losses aside and forget about them. But once and a while, a loss will be so impactful to me that it never leaves my mind."

Spoiler alert, guys– he's talking about losing to me at the "XX" pay per view that he made his return for.

That's why this next quote, from about a week ago when he was facing Chris Chaos, makes even more sense now...

Quote:"Since my return to the XWF, here is the list of people who have beaten me:

Noah Jackson
Tony Santos
Robert Main
K-Money

That's it. End of list."

Are you senile?

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Do you want me to just give you full access to MY personal promo uploads and accounts so YOU can drop my promos for me and kill yourself even easier? I mean, dumb fuck, could you slit your own throat any deeper?

Quote:"never leaves my mind"

Quote:"That's it. End of list."

Cent Biden, you senile fuck, listen to me very carefully















Eh, fuck it. You won't remember it tomorrow anyway. Next Biden quote, please?

Quote:"The hatred and contempt I have in my body is unequal. But don't worry, I'll eliminate your Stormfront soldier soon enough, and when I'm done...I'm eliminating you for good."

All I'm hearing is that my loyal CCWF original is going to continue doing his best to make sure the world never forgets that any CCWF jobber is still superior to any XWF home grown talent to ever exist. Never stop doing Shane's work, boy.

Never let me forget that I'm your raison d'être.

One day, I promise to reward you, servant. One day you shall don that Hired Gun attire you've dedicated your career to earning, but only after every other possible option is already dead.


...But then I remembered we had a scene to get back to. Do I dare not even bother addressing the others in the match? Could it even matter? The lack of substance provided by Hanari may just be enough to be his own undoing, and then we have Robert Main asking me to be his friend in this match instead of his enemy! HA! I'd rather DIE!

Here, Main, why don't you take this shovel you insist on burying yourself with and do me the favor of taking Hanari down into the depths of hell with you? I originally said I was going to bury Hanari, but if you're already burying yourself and offering me favors, just do the damn work for me and don't forget to show Hanari the best way to take the Devil's dick in your ass while you're down there!

---

---

In what has proven to be one of the strangest experiences of my feeble, ethereal existence in this realm... I found myself the narrating spectator of my own undoing. I saw myself as the voice of reason in a world of corruption and a sickening spiral of disarray that Shane ... me... I... caused, and was the victim of.

They tried so hard to get it right. I had told Dr. Shear to make sure my vessel was occupied by one of nine possible forces you'd best know as "Gods"......... but for some reason, none of them answered.

With D-R-W having obeyed my command to strip me of a considerable percentage of my own true self, I was left an empty shell of sorts on the operating table — a vehicle fully prepped and ready to accept the next driver, but............ nothing. No one.

"He's crashing! Where are we with those database names? We need to force someone into him now or he will not survive!"

..."I'm working on it. Every single time I try to pair one of these XWF relics up with him, there's another massive failure! Something went WAY WRONG when we attempted Cyren's spirit before anyone else and it's like there's no coming back from that damage!"

Ah yes, their solution to the absence of the Gods I had willingly opened myself up for: Simply inject a deceased former XWF star's "ghost" into me instead. What could possibly go wrong, right? At least they probably made Shawn Warstein feel good for predicting a Cyren reference, but it's too bad it didn't come from me as he'd assumed.

I observed up close and personal everything that was happening as I looked down at the empty vessel called Shane . Let me tell you, friends... it doesn't matter what depths you've dwelled in or what dirt you've dug through. You could be the most vile, sinister, wicked piece of shit on this Earth but when you're standing in a room, un-observable by the living, and watching your own carcass lie lifelessly on a table...


I observed things about myself; my face, my hands even... things I had never quite noticed before.

And that's when they did something that struck my core like nothing in this life... heh, this life? Am I even alive? Shit.

But that's when they...

"Here, take this and put it over his head immediately," said the good doctor to the assistant in a panic... but the assistant was very much caught off guard, responding with an uncertain, "Wha... what? Why?!?"

"Shut up and do as you're told! This was one of his sources of power!" and the uncharacteristic smack to the side of the assistant's head, from a man who had never exhibited a single sign of physical aggression in the past, was all it took to whip that boy into shape.

"Fine, give it here," the assistant says as he takes the mask and puts it over Shane's face. Over my empty vessel's entire head...

My god, I hadn't seen that mask in years.

My classic Charlie Sheen mask...

I had worn that thing for well over a year as Shane , and even worn it during a stint as the little-known "Faceless" alias about a decade ago.

I watch as they both make sure the mask is snugly fitted to my now fetid body, and the assistant can't help but let out a cold, "He already smells like death. We might be too-" "Silence! Stand clear," shouts Dr. Shear as he presses some buttons on his control panel and a massive jolt of power is sent through my body!

Yet I feel nothing. I remain here, watching my own shell.

"We have only one left!"

"What???"

"Only one attempt left! This one was called............... raYne!"

No! NO! If it were possible to shit while outside of your own body, I'd have just done so. Just let me die at this point. If being merged with the remnants of the dead raYne was my last hope of returning, kill me now!

Yet they can't hear my wishes as they give it their all... The doctor engages maximum power on all levels as raYne's ghost is sent surging through my body............................

…..........................and is sent right back out!

"Dammit!"

"We can't give up, doc!"

…

…

…........Dr. Shear has tears in his eyes as the assistant pleads with him to try again, but... "That was it."

The silence was murderously deafening.

The next thing I heard was that flat line, and everything around me turned pale. I watched as they stood, paralyzed by their own failure. I watched as my body remained motionless and empty.

"He's nothing more than a husk; a sheath that once harnessed the sharpest mind of this century," the doctor said solemnly, slowly raising his head and looking upward before continuing with a defeated, "and that mind has been jettisoned far from this place."

No! I'm right here! Listen to me! There must be hope if I'm here! There's something still left in that body! ...but if I couldn't even hear myself plead my case, how could I expect them to?




…............and then, I saw it.


The body bag.


[ooc: background music begins, click play]:


I had never known the hand of fear could reach so far up inside of your loins that even your spirit could tremble and shake after death, but here I was.

Frozen, I watched as the assistant unfolded the bag and laid it onto the table as the doctor reached over and helped to pull my body to the side as the bag was placed underneath me.

This was it; I wasted my last days fretting over trivial goals and agendas that were based within a world of fame. My last breaths had been spent condemning men like Centurion and Shawn Warstein when I should have at least paid some attention to............ my family.

The ones the XWF never heard about, for their own safety.

Sadly, they hadn't even heard from me in years.

The selfishness that consumed my life from top to bottom was, for the first time, an atom bomb sent blasting straight into my all.

So much time, wasted. So many lost opportunities... and it's done.

I'm done.

…...........................................................................

…......................................................

….......................................... "What the hell?!?"

Dr. Shear's outburst rips my attention away from the infinite void as I see him jump back, startled by something.

"What is it," asks the assistant.

But it was a question I'd never hear the answer to as I lose my connection to this plane of existence for what feels like an eternity...


...and then I return, only to see this.






That's...

That's.............

Holy fucking shit! That's MY hand!

Dr. Shear was my closest confidant! NO! How could I...

The gore...

The blood being ejected from bodies...

The bones cracking, the sinew shredding, the tendons snapping...

That slushy fucking sound with each wet stab!


NO! This isn't right! STOP!!!!

But before I knew it, he... I... was the only one left.

How could this be? How could the man that strives to control everything, lose control of all? How could I lose control of me?




And that's when HE makes his presence known...............




…...................



…..................




….................






You've got
Robert Fucking Main!!!???

He watches as the murderous, empty husk known as me finishes dismembering every dead body in the lab.

Once finished, Shane 's body just...... collapses...

...Right into the arms of the waiting Robert Main, who hoists the body up over his shoulder and makes his exit...?






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I'll be fucking damned. They finally got me.