"Oh, Boris, no one cares about your comeback."

This was said to me today, comrades! What the blyat? Of course people care about the Comeback Of Boris! It is most talked about event in all Slovakia!

Ok, so maybe the American fans do not care about comeback of Boris. Maybe it is not good enough story - Gopnik, though as bull, beating deadly virus to return to ring. I can see how that would be boring to Americans, with their explosions and violence on cable. But in Eastern Europe? Oppa, this is big deal!

So get on our level, America. Think about someone other than your self. Think about all the little Slav boys and girls around the world who now have something to hope for. It was tough month for them blin! Famous, Slav superstar, hero to ALL the little Gopniks, being forced to sit in hospital while I fight CORVETTE-29. They were scared blin! And I can not blame them.

So for all the little Slav boys and girls out there, Boris is sorry for making you worry. But even strongest heroes must fight strong opponents. Superman has kryptonite. Andresky had charcoal. And Boris has Serenavirus.

But Boris is back children, and he is about to throw many wrestlers out window. Or front door. Or maybe I use Slav strength to toss them up chimney. Boris Claus does not go down chimney - he tosses people up.

How many wrestlers are in this match? Boris does not know. It is listed somewhere, but I can not be bothered to look at the moment. Aye, but it does not matter blin. Two or two hundred, they will all be thrown onto lawn like a cheating husband's laundry. And then Boris will live happy ever after in the nice big mansion until the end of the world. Oppa!

...you know, I just thought of something. Whoever wins match must live in house that was just trashed by many professional wrestlers. Windows will be broken, lamps busted...

Blyat, this is not prize! It is construction! I will have to clean broken glass for weeks blin! Oh, this is disaster. I hope mansion is somewhere warm and nice...like Edmonton! Now that is class blin!

Oh cyka, I guess I should start working out. Boris has not lifted weight or moved from couch in over a month. That will not matter, right? Bah, of course it will not! I am only competitor in match with Slav strength. It is great advantage!

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