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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » XWF PPV Boards » March Madness 2020 RP Board
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Stay at home if you can.
Author Message
Thunder Knuckles™ Offline
XBUX Champin
TITLE - The TV Champion

XWF FanBase:

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)

Post: #1
03-26-2020 12:48 AM

Days after Thunder Knuckles avoided getting arrested. He is in state lockdown in the best state in the union, Ohio. Thunder Knuckles is chilling in his trailer in self-isolation because of his deep cough and the state ordered a stay at home order.

Good thing I kept this goddamn camera.

Thunder Knuckles said not knowing he had already turned on the camera. Thunder Knuckles bumbles around with the camera long enough to set it across from where he plans to stand. Once in position...Which was slightly off the left of center.

Okay, So, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles was a little fucking worried after my last promo. But have not fear XWF fans, ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles, is just fucking fine and haven't had a fever. You know that scared me so much that it gave me an idea. What if... I somehow beat Noah Jackson?

Thunder Knuckles smiles and thinks this is the moment he’s been waiting for. To become the XBUX Champion once more! Thunder Knuckles begins spinning with his arms out then stops which somehow fixes his position on your screen.

Noah, I'm ashamed of you sir!

Thunder Knuckles points into the camera and says.

[Image: giphy.gif]

The hardest working man in the XWF? I think not, Noah! It may have been true before but that isn’t the case right now. Even when I'm doing for shit. I always fulfill my obligations here in XWF.

Thunder Knuckles lowers his finger and continues.

How many do you want? How many promos? Centurion’s bitch ass thought I couldn’t put out three. What did ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles do? Rocked his fucking world with my popularity. Yeah, watch the fucking crowd reactions. They, the people, were fucking perfect. That match happened to be my last "I Quit" match. Which I was pinned in. Hmmm.

Thunder Knuckles rubs his chin and looks sternly into the camera.

I’m now wondering. Why am I even in this match all together? Seeing as I didn’t earn it. I like Noah. The matchmakers know this. Yet, I'm supposed to fight him. I mean, I know this business is fucked up but damn, bro. Are they going to have me fucking pinned a second time in an “I Quit” match?

Thunder Knuckles smiles in delight and tries not to be a conspiracy theorist.

Noah, do me a favor seeing as we’re about to tear each other apart. Sponsor my twitter on the bottom of your boots. I'll send you all the information, of course. Just so everyone knows. I'm going to be paying TWENTY THOUSAND xbux. Which is how much I owed and PAID OFF Noah Jackson, for slapping Centurion’s bitch ass. AFTER! All my xbux were stolen, by that over hairspray up to hide all them bald spots now, shit fuck, weasel of a man Vinne Lane. Still waiting on my xbux .

Thunder Knuckles stops smiling the moment he thought of his fortune was stolen from him.

Noah, I haven’t lost my ability to fucking fight just because I’m fighting a friend. I’m not going to allow you to pay to beat me. No, mostly because you've already allowed me to beat YOU! No easy way out now Noah. No amount of xbux that you can amass can save you from this beating.

Thunder Knuckles reconsiders almost immediately.

Weeelllllllll, I suppose, if you could come up with ONE MILLION xbux. Then we’d be talking but as far as ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles knows. That would be virtually impossible for you to pull off. Just like the fact that I’m going to unveil my newest move, The XBUX Dream. That’s right, Noah, you’re going to submit to MY dream.

Thunder Knuckles chuckles to himself and rolls his eyes.

The submissive Noah Jackson.

Thunder Knuckles is boyishly laughing now.

Think about it. Submitting to MY dream. Submitting to Twitter by not saying cunt. Submitting to his girlfriend. Wait, are they married now? You’d never fucking know cause I haven't seen a good Noah Jackson promo since VV up and disappeared. Where’s that little cupcake at?

Thunder Knuckles looks over to his left.

Do you know what I see outside my window, America?

Thunder Knuckles looks back at the camera with a serious look on his face.

I’m in fucking lockdown right now and I see all these stupid mother fuckers walking around the trailer park. Coming home with fucking Little Ceasars pizza. Makes you fucking think, man. Maybe if the current president would have made us all get the n1h1 vaccines this would never have happened. Now they don't even make the shit anymore and we are still moving around like dumbasses. Talking about, It couldn’t happen to me. I mean fuck, It killed Grandma Lemon Tits. It doesn't get more serious than that. Right?

Thunder Knuckles rolls his eyes.

You know she’s going to “shock value” her way back to life some-damn-how though. Because that's the business. Anyway, my original point. Wash your fucking hands. Don't touch your fucking face, stay in your homes when at all possible, and vote Drezdin/Knuckles 2020. We truly are fucked anyway.

Thunder Knuckles gives the jerking off gesture mockingly. Because he thought of the current state of the March Madness tournament since his exit.

So, what am I going to have to do to Noah Jackson, to win his Television title?

Thunder Knuckles begins to ponder slowly. Like really dully looking up the ceiling, tapping his right foot like sonic when you've waited too long to move. Making this so unnecessary to watch. When out of nowhere Thunder Knuckles speaks out.

Do what I do fucking best, mother fuckers. That's fucking be fucking entertaining!

Thunder Knuckles walks over to the camera and picks it up then puts it on his shoulder first-person shooter like. Thunder Knuckles walks over to his front door and kicks the door off its hinges.

Listen up mother fuckers! If I see any of you fucking shit birds walk out of your house for no fucking reason. I'm going to do to you the same fucking thing I'm going to do to, Noah Jackson, at the March Madness Pay-Per-View.

Thunder Knuckles walks out onto his small ass "property", that he leases from the trailer park. One of the fine choice people in the community took offense to what Thunder Knuckles had said.

[Image: overweight-man-with-suspenders-by-truck-...?s=612x612]

You ain't gonna do shit.

Thunder Knuckles immediately walk up to this dirty, fat, disgusting, slob of a man. This man has dirt or some kind of grim covering him from head to toe. Once within striking distance, Thunder Knuckles kicks the dirty man in the dick and pushes him over.

Now you other Cledus, mother fuckers, better have learned a lesson here today. 'Ol Thunder Knuckles isn't putting up with anyone's fuckery. The only fuckery going on is mine.

Thunder Knuckles picks up the fat dirty man by the head slowly then locks in The XBUX Dream. The man begins to fade slowly until his arm eventually starts twitching uncontrollably. Another man approaches Thunder Knuckles. This man is built pretty well and younger than the last, by that he's taller than Centurion. Who is short... And old. Speaking of Centurion, I hope you don’t get Covid-19. It is taking elderly people more than others.

[Image: redneck.jpg?resize=600%2C329]

Hey man, is my cousin okay?

Thunder Knuckles sets up for The Xbux Dream again by kicking this well built younger man in the dick. Thunder Knuckles didn't let this one fall to the ground first before locking in The Xbux Dream. The younger man succumbed quicker than the previous man because Thunder Knuckles wasted no time.

Noah, your ass better be paying fucking attention too. The concept is pretty familiar. You see-

Thunder Knuckles lets go of The Xbux Dream as he notices what is probably the next of the original man's brood.

[Image: Dq3xAULV4AEmP9t.jpg]

What the fu-

Thunder Knuckles kicks him in the dick as well.

You see Noah. You dick kick them.

Thunder Knuckles whips around the man.

Then you lock-in the move, like this.

Thunder Knuckles locks in The Xbux Dream.

After that.

Thunder Knuckles wrenches down on the move now.

You just fucking wait.

The man's arms begin to frantically tap out.

Pretty fucking cool the body does that after not having air for a while, huh?

Some loud mid-thirties blonde bitch with a tube top, curlers still in her hair, and booty shorts. This was, however, in a bad way. She isn't by any means attractive and you can't understand a word she's saying.

You shouldn't be wearing that, my god bitch. You should at least be wearing sweatpants and a baggy shirt to cover all that shit up.

[Image: tenor.gif]

This trailer trash woman gets close enough to strike and then Thunder Knuckles cunt punts her.

Works on women too, Noah.

Thunder Knuckles proceeds to put this fat nasty trailer trash thot in The Xbux Dream. Her arms almost immediately begin to twitch. Thunder Knuckles drops the hold. Thunder Knuckles hears something to his right so he darts back to his trailer. He stands at the threshold of where the door used to be. The camera is still in first-person shooter mode.

It's the fucking cops man, shit.

Thunder Knuckles waves him down.

Hey, officer! You see them fucking idiots over there, grouped up, on the fucking ground like that. Is that even safe?

[Image: giphy.gif]

The police officer acknowledges Thunder Knuckles with a wave and walks slowly toward the pile of human waste.

I think they were all doing drugs and shit. They were yelling over here before they all passed out right in that one spot. It was crazy. I think they're on heroin. I've seen shit like this before but the last time it was by a dumpster.

Thunder Knuckles said taking a shot at Noah Jackson's father figure. The police officer walks to people who are still knocked out from The Xbux Dream, arms still twitching. The police officer radios in for back up but checks the original dirty, fat, Cledus T. Judd looking mother fucker, and finds a bag of heroin on him. The officer then detains him. Thunder Knuckles turns back into his trailer with the first-person shooter mode camera angle and bumbles around the camera to set it back down to get him in his "spot".

See, wasn't that entertaining? Honestly, I knew my chance was high for those trailer trash fuckers who had heroin. I've seen way too many junkies going over there since the lockdown started.

Moving on, I'm going to enjoy this fight. I am. It's mostly because XWF fans around the world deserve a champion like me, on television week in and week out. A champion who is willing to fulfill his obligations.

[Image: 3862613180_b83e677343_m.jpg]

I'm a fighting man, Noah. I'm going to show you that. I'm going to try to embarrass you... You're going to be the first of many champions who are going to underestimate me and learn the hard way. Thunder Knuckles IS the Ohio turnpike. You WILL pay the toll.

Thunder Knuckles knows he cleverly used his catchphrase and smiles knowing that this smile is one no one has ever seen on him. It's not devilish, mocking, condescending, or even smiling in malis. No, he's smiling at the thought triumphantly beating Noah Jackson.

I wish it didn't come down to this Noah. You tried to disrespect me by not putting out a promo. You thought because Grandma Lemon Tits could pay you could too.

Thunder Knuckles makes a "tisk tisk tisk" motion at Noah Jackson directly.

I want you to think Noah. I want you to think for a long time about how much Vinnie doesn't want you to lose. He doesn't even like you that much. Yet, he wants you to win not me, that's for sure. How anti-authority are you? You said you didn't want to be Champion. Yet, you are. Who are you, Noah Jackson? Are you going to shuck and jive for Vinnie? If you're going to shuck and jive then damn it. I'm going to have no choice but brutally beat you from one side of the ring to the other. You're going to walking out of the March Madness Pay-Per-View a former Television Champion and I will be walking out THE XBUX CHAMPION once more!

Thunder Knuckles reaches out his arms to his side to give himself a spin but stops.

I almost forgot. Fuck. I don't know what is about Pay-Per-View but I almost forgot to mention my pal, Steven P Coolie. You know, after this whole Covid-19 shit is over. I’m sure you can hire Steven P. Coolie to sue your local and state governments for how they responded to a global pandemic. I know after the United States starts back to work after Easter and a second wave of the virus flares up and ends up taking Grandma Lemon Tits life a second time and coming back to life again.

Thunder Knuckles gives the same jerking off gesture as before.

I'm going to sue the fucking shit out of everyone I can. I mean fuck, look at my front door. It’s off the fucking hinges! That shit needs to be fixed. Do you know who's going to pay for it?

Thunder Knuckles waits as if there is someone around to answer him.

That’s right! The government. I know if Drezdin was President of the United States of America he’d have already given us free healthcare, no bills, rent or mortgages taken care of, forgiven student debt entirely, and still given you all TWO THOUSAND United States dollars. All with the Lord of lawyers Steven P. Coolie.

Thunder Knuckles thinks to himself with his arms crossed at this point.

TWO THOUSAND. That’s the number of xbux, Smoking Bob Williams, owes me for competing in his dumbass highland games. Bob, I hope you know your disappointing XWF fans around the world by not having Thunder Knuckles on your show. Also knowing that the guy you’re fucking out of xbux and the guy you fucked out of the Hart Championship is now on Savage, fighting for their version of a third-tier title. Think about it fucker.

Thunder Knuckles looks angered thinking about the fact management seems to lie about paying talent and acts like it’s okay. Thunder Knuckles realized he jumped off-topic twice and needs to reel it back in. Thunder Knuckles point to the camera again.

Noah, you’re a normal ass man.

Thunder Knuckles brings both hands in on his chest.

I'm a normal ass man. Well, kinda I was given a lot of great gifts that make me a little more superior than just some “normal” fucking man. I mean for god sakes, look at my fucking hair. It’s amazing. I'm a good looking fucking dude. Sometimes it's just not fair how fucking good looking I am, man.

Thunder Knuckles said cockily as hell while flipping his gorgeous curly locks.

I’ve pretty much said my peace. Now let's see if you say anything at all.

Thunder Knuckles walks over to the camera and shuts it off but before he does you hear him say one more thing.

Let's see you pay a doctor to get your way out of this one, Noah. I sure didn’t think you’d be the first big punchline to this joke, but here we are.

[Image: TKbill.png]
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