”I tried to tell you both not to worry about it and that I was handling it, and now here we sit looking straight ahead at The Sick Cunts and the XWF Tag Team Championship.


Adam Barker’s words welcomes us into our scene as we see Chris Page, Robert Main and Adam Barker packing up what’s left in their locker room following Savage Saturday Night as the final stop before March Madness has come and now gone.


”It’s not like they really had a choice when you think about it because there’s only two options; accept and take this ass whippin’ that’s coming to them or continue to deny and look like cowards… neither of their egos could allow that to happen and now we’ve got them right where we want them because now there’s not going to be anywhere for them to run.”


Chris extends the pull arm of his smaller black travel bag up as we hear it click into place before Chris shifts his attention towards Robert as he states.


”This is what we’ve been waiting for and it’s what we’ve wanted. Those chumps can try and downplay us all they want, they can pretend to be anything more than keyboard warriors using twitter to engage in verbal battles; I will not let this opportunity slip through my fingers and I want you to know how fucking serious I am about putting my fist down the throats of both Fuzz and Nicole.”

[/quote]


” I tried to tell you both not to worry about it and that I was handling it, and now here we sit looking straight ahead at The Sick Cunts and the XWF Tag Team Championships.


Adam Barker’s words welcome us into our scene as we see Chris Page, Robert Main and Adam Barker packing up what’s left in their locker room following Savage Saturday Night as the final stop before March Madness has come and now gone.


” It’s not like they had a choice when you think about it because there are only two options; accept and take this ass whippin’ that’s coming to them or continue to deny and look like the yellow-bellied pantywaists they are… Neither of their egos could allow that to happen and now we’ve got them right where we want them because now there’s not going to be anywhere for them to run.”


Chris extends the pull arm of his smaller black travel bag up as we hear it click into place before Chris shifts his attention towards Robert as he states.


” This is what we’ve been waiting for and it’s what we’ve wanted. Those two-bit chumps can try and downplay us all they want, they can pretend to be anything more than keyboard warriors using twitter to engage in verbal battles; I will not let this opportunity slip through my fingers and I want you to know how fucking serious I am about putting my fist down the throats of both Fuzz and Nicole.”



Robert’s facelifted gradually, he took in the atmosphere while taking a deep breath adjusting his charcoal leather jacket. Then he grinned. As Robert did so the temperature of the room fell a little. Even in the dim light Chris and Adam both saw his bared teeth as he leered over his shoulder. It was a Cheshire grin of sorts, the kind that was so extensive it was more as if he wanted to devour The Sick C*nts than overthrow their abysmal reign as Champions.



“This is a warning for those who say they are unafraid.” Robert cracks his neck from side to side. “We” Robert points in Page’s direction “Are more unpredictable than ever before, and this artificial reign is nothing more than a temporary phase in the history books. I refuse to slow down and give this a second thought, and as we push that peddle past the breaking point, no one in this company will stop this runaway train that is Cataclysm. We are the juggernaut waiting in the wings ready to grind anyone who opposes us to dust.” Robert’s voice has a husky drawl as he pauses for a moment placing a cigar in-between his teeth. Robert waves at Adam who tosses him a Zippo lighter.



” After we burn down this bridge and piss on the flames, we will rebuild this Tag Team division from the ground up in our likeness. Bringing this division out of the darkness and back into the light where it belongs. We will welcome all comers and defend more than just every thirty days. Why? Because that’s who we are, we live and die by the sword and if we get carried out on our shield then so be it. I’m not going to sit by and watch a division flounder any longer.” Robert chuckles to himself “We already have that with the Universal Championship.” Robert flicked the Zippo lighter open watching as the yellow flames flickered around the tip of his cigar. “ After all these fragile attempts to dodge us on twitter, then try to blind us with logic? I’ll get enthusiastic when these two dead ducks decide to start throwing some real blows. I’m on the edge, looking for any reason to jump, knowing we’ve got a list of different strategies to bury these derelict bums.”



Like a howitzer, Robert’s chest propelled the smoke out of his mouth in predetermined discharges. Ill-defined O-rings defy gravity, sailing upward, distorting and twisting along their rebellious journey. ” Very rarely do I carry the crushing weight of a grudge, but I haven’t been ordinary since my fall from grace. If Noah and Fuzz want to be passive-aggressive with their message so be it.” Robert squinted his eyes drawing in the cigar once more. When exquisitely executed, smoking can become a form of brilliant art. The smoker doesn’t work with hands but instead with his lungs, throat, and lips. With these simple tools, Robert again ejects unpredictable sculptures. Impermanently coming together to forge clouds of opaque euphoria. “These two lack the passion of fighting Champions, not to mention the reckless nature of truthful expression. Sure, they might be bruised up and dented from a few engagements here and there. But this is something far different than these two are used to.



They were not cut from the same cloth as “The Omega”. They don't understand the underhanded ruthless obsession that I was born with. Our message though, that’s clear.” Every puff is joined in matrimony by a familiar essence which once known can never be forgotten. The nectarous yet zesty aroma hints of vanilla with a dash of pine. In this utter state of tranquility, Robert watched as the smoke rhythmically dissipates, one ring after another, and settles to form a layer of dancing fog near the ceiling. ” These two are afraid of what we are doing because they are nothing more than cowards with two belts. They use twitter to confuse the masses, and don’t get it twisted I’m not an asshole, I’m just telling it the way I see it. I want revenge, I want respect and I will get all that at March Madness.” Robert places the cigar between his fingers, dropping his arm to his side ” After we become Tag Team Champions I want a convoy of enemies, so I can place each one of their severed head above my fireplace. Tell me this who in their right mind will come after us as Champions?



No one.



We stand up and these fools will run for the hills.”


The sounds of a second zippo flipping open is heard followed by it striking as Chris Page is shown sparking up a nicely rolled hooter before flipping the zippo closed and placing it in the inner pocket of a black sport coat that rests on top of a white polo t-shirt. Chris takes a pull and inhales deeply before causally stating.


”They’ve been playing a game by themselves which leads to the same result regardless of how you look at it…. New Tag Team Champions. Fuzz can use his twitter fingers all day long in attempts to goad you into a war of the words at a time that your words don’t matter. You see boys and girls THIS one match is the match we’ve been eagerly waiting for and it has absolutely nothing to do with the Sick Cunts and everything to do with establishing the true pecking order around here because clearly the now isn’t working and Tag division still is looked at as a second class citizen because YOUR champions have elected to have to have it that way. They’re not interested in the division, there interested in padding their resumes with accomplishments to stroke their own egos whilst attempting to be clever or witty by comparing the Universal Title scene now to when Robert stood on top of the mountain while they continue to twiddle there fucking thumbs on the sidelines as opposed to, I don’t know, doing something about it? Or they might reduce themselves to ripping on me being a weak link or perhaps Robert carrying me as a team.” Chris takes another deep pull from the joint that’s in his hand before taking another deep pull before removing it from his lips as he inhales deeply before softly stating. ”I know how to pick winners.” Chris exhales a cloud of white smoke into the locker room as a sly smirk graces his face before he states. ”My point is we already know what to expect out of both of those skid marks of professional wrestling… but they’ve got no clue what to expect out of us.”


Chris shifts his attention towards Robert as he extends the joint out towards Main. With a ginger head nod from right to left signifying no we see Chris respond with the same gesture as he states.


”Don’t be rude Dick and trust me because you and I are need of a trip to the dark side of the moon so we can show them that can’t expect the unexpected. Chris motions with his hand that’s holding the joint towards Robert. ”Do you trust me… do you?”


Robert again waves Page off.



” You know I’m a bourbon and cigar guy.”



Chris rolls his eyes replying.



” Come down from that ivory tower Bob. I mean really.” Robert turns his nose up as all the reasons not to do this overload his mind, engulfing his chemistry just sent them a blanket invitation. Robert feels the soft apprehensiveness that can grow or fade depending on what he decides to do next. He takes a deep breath allowing his thoughts leak into the ether eyeballing Pages extended hand. ” Dark side of the moon huh?” Page nods. ” Fine, hand it over.” Page and Robert exchange cigar and joint both taking a hit at the same time. ” Damn this is the good shit, Bob.” Robert nods letting out a smoke-filled cough ” Woah, Main in times like these you can’t cough like that. There are people out there that would kill you for that shit.” Robert checks his brain that seems to be constantly searching for any sign that he's alright. He quickly notices a change shaking his head.



” Page what’s in this shit.” His mind becomes a smartphone seeking a signal as he moves through the mountains, out of rang and uncharged. His stomach mutates uneasily as he noticed his hands were pinching into his skin. He releases his hands but then I can't figure out what to do with them, so instead, they clasp and unclasp each other as if in constant need of touch and reassurance. The murky darkness encompasses the helpless light, diminishing all happiness and bliss Robert once had. Robert braces himself against a locker with the palm of his hand as silence lingers in the air as he shivers in a claustrophobic cage waiting for a signal. ” The air around me feels like a cage” A small sigh of anxiety leaps out of Robert’s mouth, as his eyes flicker falling to one knee.









Chris walks over to Robert who’s one knee. He reaches down taking the joint from Robert’s hand before it falls to the floor. Chris lightly nods his head up and down several times before taking another long pull from the joint. He drops down to one knee beside his partner before exhaling the smoke.


”Let’s enjoy the trip…….”



… to be continued by Robert Main.





Words from the Stoned One:



[green]Words can’t describe how we’re feeling about this upcoming clash that will do nothing less but steal the show at March Madness some fresh breath shall be blown into the lungs of the tag team division by Cataclysm as we serve up the single biggest ass kicking anyone’s ever seen when it comes to The Sick Cunts. We are two totally different teams with two totally different views on what it means to stand on top of a division and profess to be the best when you certainly haven’t beaten the best. I’m going to start this off with you, FuZz. Mr. Keyboard Warrior himself, live and in living color yet reeking of desperation as you continue to TRY and bait anyone stupid enough to engage in a war of the words behind a keyboard. Ever since you DODGED our initial challenge and downplayed it like it meant absolutely nothing… the moment you did that was the moment we started smelling blood in the water. Your fear started shinning through and there’s no denying it because you do have EVERYTHING to fear when it comes to stepping into the ring with us because we’re dangerous on any given night but it’s not every night that both you and Nicole are pulling double duty and worrying about those other set of belts in your collection regardless of the scrubs you’re both in the ring with later in the evening; although I’d imagine said scrubs are licking their chops because if any night would be a night for The Sick Twats to become Fuzz and Nicole no belts this would certainly be the night knowing there’s not a chance in hell that they’re going to be in one piece after Robert and I enjoy feasting on their flesh. I think the biggest misconception is perhaps you think this is supposed to be “personal” when that truly isn’t the case at all and the only thing that makes you relevant to me is you happen to hold something that I want, Fuzz. You can dwell in the past, you can desperately try to get under my skin, you can come up with whatever sophomoric excuse for being a complete and utter tool.


You should have listened to that internal instinct that told you to run… but not for the reasons you’d love to force feed down everyone’s throat.


Running would have prevented the inevitable.


Failure.


Both Robert and I are battle tested gladiators that are natural born leaders, or at least I am, or so some award said… that’s beside the point, I digress…


Individually we’re great but collectively we’re unstoppable while all you’ve got is a punk kid that gimmick is to use the word “cunt”. I don’t know about you, but uh, I don’t like your odds. Robert and I have already out our plan in place and both you and your daughter have followed the trail of breadcrumbs all the way to the site of your slaughter. There’s nothing cute about what’s going to happen to you or your immediate family when that bell tolls. We’re coming for you, we’re not playing your games and we’re not hiding behind any bullshit to say we’re coming to March Madness to fuck your world up.


… and poor Nicole.


We finally meet again.


I haven’t forgotten a lifeline a while back… I told you then I’d be seeing you and now I’m coming to collect at the expense of your Tag Title. I’m sure you’ve enjoyed your time on “top” with dear ole’ daddy but now it’s time for you to turn around and go stand in the corner while the adults have a conversation that supersedes your pay grade. The only thing for sure that I can tell you that is certainly going to happen the mere moment our paths cross… I’m going to slap the shit out of you like the little bitch that you truly are. The only thing I haven’t decided is if I’m going to powder my hand before I fucking do it, we shall both be surprised. Do what you do best and that’s play off your old man because if anyone is out of place in this story it’s fucking you. After we go ahead and relieve you of your Tag Title responsibilities I might just come at you for that other belt just because I can and you are capable of stopping me.


We will be seeing you both very soon.

- HALL OF LEGENDS 2019
- 2019 Heel of the Year
- 2019 Locker Room Leader of the Year
- 2019 Feud of the Year w. Robert Main (you’re welcome)
- Former


With Robert "The Omega" Main

XWF World Heavyweight Champion