"Oh my fucking Christ, are you serious? I have to waste my breath explaining what to them?"

"Flat out, who the fuck thinks clowns are even hot?"

"Let's look at the clowns the patriarchy has trotted out in the XWF alone because they can't get enough of womyn getting beat on by pigs on their TV screens."

Vanessa sits on a stool, and a projection screen behind her lights up. First with a picture of Phantom Panzer. Vanessa pulls one of those plastic filter tipped cigars out and lights it. After taking a puff, she gestures at the picture.

"Disgusting. Flat out, absolutely disgusting. A living tribute to watersports, or the notion that womyn are nothing but targets for your dicks to relieve themselves in. If anyone finds this pig even remotely attractive, they should be doused in hand sanitizer until they fade into nothingness."

"I wouldn't show this thing my vagina to piss on him, and I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire."

The projection screen shifts to show a picture of Boris.

"Then we have this pig, another clown sent to us straight from Russia, where shyt is so backwards they allowed domestic abuse to be legalized. So backwards human trafficking runs rampant. Wow, shytty time to be a womyn in Russia these days, if you're not designated to be a fuck doll for some piece of shyt that's drank their body volume in vodka, they become a fucking punching bag instead. In 2020, this is what the patriarchy finds acceptable."

"I would castrate you like I would castrate any would be abuser."

"Let's go ahead and look at some of the better known clowns through all of pop culture, shall we?"

The projection screen shows a still shot of the Insane Clown Posse.

"Well, would you look at this shyt right here. A couple of idiots who defy science, demean womyn as objects in their music, from songs like 'Spin The Bottle', and who actually apply a shyt ton of make-up to their faces because they're that ugly without it. The saying 'none of us is as stupid as all of us' just doesn't apply itself anywhere as well as a gathering of Juggalos. Yechh, even their fanbase names themselves after the type of pig that goes around looking to thrust their dicks into womyn like they're objects but with a fucking clown twist."

"How the fuck are these people breeding?"

"Ooh, I feel I may have plucked a nerve with your fanbase with that one, huh? I bet those stupid motherfuckers eating drugs, slurping down Faygo, watching Hulu on their Obamaphones, and wondering why their rent is always late just love watching you, pig. Well, if their lives weren't such a disappointment already to the point they thing pretending to be a clown is a step up, they're going to be really disappointed when I put you on your back, and your stupid pig of a ringmaster is left without a monster because you submitted to a ringmistress."

The projection screen changes to show John Wayne Gacey.

"Well, now we're on to something, the true nature of you pigs. Collect, fuck, and destroy. Why is it you creepy clown types never go for the Gacey look? There was a real, actual living monster to be an example for you. Zeebo, are you looking at that picture, because you should be studying that picture, because that's a pig that actually had a kill count and was dangerous. You're just a shytty wannabe who will never go as far as that pig did."

"Convince me you're as terrifying as he was. You can't."

"Not a one, not a single one of this pigs victims thought he was sexy. Nobody thought he was sexy, it's probably why he had to create victims to begin with. Because clowns just aren't fuckable, let alone sexy."

The still on the screen shifts to an image of Ronald McDonald.

"Seriously? Well, this would be the pig that's the clown responsible for putting the most meat between buns, but who in their right mind would even consider this a sex symbol? How satisfying could anything this pig be if he has to offer fries with it by default? Not satisfying. What the fuck is this pig going to offer anyways, could you even imagine? Imagine this pig walking up to you, reeking of grease and cheap labor, and saying 'hey babe, wanna come back to my playplace'. It makes me wretch, I just threw up a little in my mouth."

"I will destroy your ball pit."

"Seriously, are there any examples of sexy clowns ever? Are you going to point to Harley Quinn? Don't point to Harley Quinn. She was a victim of abuse from a demented pig who wanted a plaything and a punching bag, so much so I'm pretty sure the Joker is Russian, and happened to pick up a clown type name and operates on puns. She went from being a symbol for womyn to being a scantily clad piece of masturbation material targetted at teen pigs who just now reclaimed some semblance of strength in a movie the patriarchy tanked on purpose, Birds of Prey, because the next Harvey Weinstein is just waiting in the wings to pick up where he left off and force his dick onto a whole new generation."

The photo on the projection screen changes to show Zeebo.

"As for you, well, body shaming you seems like a moot point. You wouldn't know how to treat a womyn if you prepared your whole life for it, your ringmaster looks like the type who goes on Tinder and catfishes womyn into coming to your tent so you can startle them with infant skeletons in jars, dead insects, or other psuedo-bohemian nonsense one would find in a dive bar in Brooklyn meant to look post-modern and give a vibe of originality or uniqueness."

"You're a pig like all the rest, nothing new or unique."

"So what do you have up your sleeve for me, Zeebo? C'mon, let's hear the standard piggy talk about how you're going to kill a womyn, destroy her soul, and prove your dominance so you can appease your buddies in the patriarchy and tout your male privelege? I dare you, Zeebo, to please tell everybody how much of a victim you want to make of me, how you can force your dick into my life and my person, because deep down you're terrified of real womyn and cower when one comes around."

"Here, I have come around."

"Tell the world how you'll kill me. Like we've seen you kill before. Because that, that Zeebo, I will believe, and you know why? You haven't killed anyone. You talked a big talk about killing before, and last we all checked, not a single person who has faced you in the ring has died. Scully? Still around and breathing. Red X? On his feet. Jim Jimson? Has a pulse. Peter Gilmour? Well, there's a live pig if I ever saw one. Viper? So living the piggy pinned you. Well, look at you, Zeebo, not only a failure as a wrestler, but you sure haven't lived up to that 'I'm going to murder and maim people' thing you and your ringmaster want to portray. It's almost like you were afraid to slaughter other piggies because you wanted to keep up appearances with your boy's club."

"Wouldn't surprise anybody if you actually tried to kill a womyn, but you'll fail at that too."

The picture on the projection screen changes to show a vagina with a massive cyst growing just past the labia. It's disturbing.

"Well, there she is. Not mine, but a beautiful example of womynhood on display, desecrated by misuse and stupidity. That belongs to a womyn who's name I will not reveal, but last Halloween, she and her male acquaintance went out together for a party. She considered this pig an ally, and make no mistake, no pig could ever be a fit ally, only a servant. She considered this pig to be an ideal mate. This pig, might I add, decided to dress up like a clown for Halloween while she was a picturesque symbol of strength and womynhood, a sexy cop. Well, in thinking the pig would be an ideal servant, she allowed the swine to service her vagina orally, showing proper and due respect to the vagina, and the pig didn't even bother to clean the greasepaint off of his face before he did so. That greasepaint clogged the opening of the Bartholin's gland, one of many intricate and wonderful parts of my anatomy and hers, and caused this massive, painful cyst to occur. Greasepaint from a clown caused her to have to visit her gyno. That isn't sexy, that's disturbing and crude."

"You wish you were strong enough to be called a pussy."

"This womyn endured, and was able to deal with the cyst medically, and easily, and after all was said and done, she rid herself of the pig that was a pain in her vagina. This Saturday, at Savage, I too will remove an unwanted cyst trying to cling to my vagina, I will beat you in that ring for every womyn on earth to see, and together my sisters and I will stand. You? You're a clown who is so lost in the shuffle you're destined to be my first pedestal I place myself on. Me?"

"I am womyn, hear me roar."