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Saturday Night Savage 02/29
Author Message
Atticus White Offline
White is the new Black
Management Lv. 2



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


Post: #1
03-01-2020 03:28 PM

[Image: LKNS3dh.gif]



LIVE FROM PRUDENTIAL CENTER



NEWARK, NEW JERSEY


!!! ROUND ONE OF MARCH MADNESS BEGINS !!!


Viper
- vs -
Jaye
Singles



Jim Jimson
- vs -
Hanari Carnes
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




Phantom Panzer
- vs -
Jessalyn Hart
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




Scully
- vs -
Zeebo The Clown
Carnival of Chaos
A nonsense match with weapons such as; joy buzzers, whoopie cushions & cream pies (the food! Get your mind out of the gutter)
There will most definitely be other bullshit to ensue




Madison Dyson
- vs -
Boris
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




Barney Green
- vs -
Geri Miller
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




Thunder Knuckles
- vs -
The Calvary
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




Cataclysm
Robert "The Omega" Main & "Chronic" Chris Page
- vs -
The Spice Rack
Afton Pepper & Vic Vinegar
Tag Team



Mastermind
- vs -
Kieran Overton
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




BigD
- vs -
Finn Kuhn
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




Atara Themis
- vs -
Red-X
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2




Robbie Bourbon
- vs -
"The" Tristan Slater
Steel Cage Match





Fuzz ©
- vs -
Azrael Erebus
Falls Count Anywhere




[Image: rWOE8Gi.png]

[Image: 8K9Z08s.png]
Noah Jackson ©
- vs -
Peter Gilmour
"Bogan Barbie" Match
AKA Dumpster Fire Match
No Time Limit
There's a dumpster at the side of the ring
The winner must throw their opponent into the dumpster and set it alight to win
Everything is legal




"There Is Power in a Union" by Street Dogs begins to play as Viper makes his way out from the back to a lightly mixed reaction.

He doesn't pay too much attention to the fans as he heads down to the ring and awaits his opponent for this evening.

Next, TNT by AC/DC hits the speakers as the fans come alive!



It's not clear if they were expecting Jaye or someone else... but Jaye is who they get. He makes his way out from the back, nodding his head to the beat of the music and wasting no time getting to the ring.

PC: Jaye looking to show the XWF universe exactly what he's made of tonight!

HHL: Yeah but he's going up against someone who has already shown some serious promise here in the XWF – the much larger Viper!

Viper
- vs -
Jaye
Singles


DING DING DING...

Running clothesline sends Jaye spiraling and landing face first on the canvas!

PC: Wow! Viper isn't playing around!

Viper is already pulling Jaye up before Jaye even knows what's happening, and lifts him into a vertical suplex THROW halfway across the ring! The fans are picking up and starting to make some commotion for Viper, who rushes over to the downed Jaye and initiates a quick ground and pound which very easily opens Jaye up.

HHL: Jaye already bleeding from the mouth and we can still almost hear the opening ring bell echoing through the air! This man works FAST!

Viper rips Jaye up from the canvas and catches him belly to belly style, suplexing him violently into the corner turnbuckle where Jaye lands awkwardly on his head. Viper wastes no time rushing over and stomping the living daylights out of him while he's down and eventually Jaye escapes under the bottom rope to the outside.

Viper exits behind him and throws him into the barricade, then into the ring apron, and then press slams the much smaller and lighter man through the ropes into the ring!

HHL: Jesus...

Viper slides back in and stalks Jaye... waiting for his chance to strike again but Jaye isn't even moving at this point. After a few more seconds, Viper moves in and lifts Jaye up. He tries to hold Jaye still while Jaye is basically out on his feet and...

PC: Diamond Cutter!

HHL: Actually PC he calls that one the VENOM CUTTER!

Jaye is face down and motionless as his blood starts to stain the canvas under him. Viper takes a moment to soak in the very mixed, but vocal, reaction from this hot crowd tonight!

PC: This guy already seems right at home here in the XWF!

Viper backs over to the corner and stares at the downed Jaye as if waiting for some sort of challenge to finally be presented to him. After a while the fans start to get bored and Jaye still isn't moving. Viper just shrugs and walks over to him, picks up his ankle, and starts to kick the backside of his knee in multiple times. Then he twists that ankle up in an ankle lock for a few seconds before trying to rip the leg out of Jaye's body!

Finally Viper feels his work is nearly done as he wraps Jaye's legs up and turns him over into a picture perfect sharpshooter...

PC: The VIPER PIT! He's got it locked in!

HHL: Jaye doesn't have a prayer at this point!

A few seconds pass and the ref doesn't even bother waiting and chancing a serious injury for Jaye. He waves it off and calls it right there!

DING DING DING!!!

WINNER VIA SUBMISSION - VIPER!


Viper drops Jaye's legs to the canvas and raises his arms in victory as "There Is Power in a Union" by Street Dogs begins to play again. He soaks up everything the crowd offers him as he makes his way to the back.





Danza Kuduro hits and Hanari spins and dances his way out to the ramp in traditional Latin Bachata style. He is carrying the flag of the Dominican Republic on a flag pole over his shoulder. He swings his hips and points at the ladies in the front row, winking and making the gun symbol with his thumb and index finger of his free hand.

PC: Calm down, Heather! Don't get too excited!

HHL: ...

Hanari spins again and walks his way down to the ring with a cocky head swing and a million dollar smile. Climbing the ring steps he gets into the ring, getting on the top rope and waving the flag a few times before jumping down and preparing for the match.



Jim comes out with a sign saying "Kill all Dolphins" people come out with him handing out Dolphin Rape Awareness Month, pamphlets, making sure that people know, just how evil dolphins are.

Once Jim is eventually done with whatever he was doing there, he finally focuses on Hanari. The ref confirms both men are ready to begin and...

Jim Jimson
- vs -
Hanari Carnes
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2


DING DING DING...

PC: And we're off!

HHL: This is sure to be a competitive match up as both men are determined to make it into round two of MARCH MADNESS!

Hanari takes a few steps toward Jim, and Hanari is just oozing confidence. He takes a moment to blossom his arms out and bask in the reaction from many of the lovely ladies in the front few rows while Jim takes a moment to wink at an old lady who's wearing a shirt with Jim's giant pixelated face taking up the whole front.

Hanari ends up having a hot women's thong thrown at him from the crowd, while Jim eagerly catches the old lady's bra and parades around the ring with it held high in the air!

HHL: What the HELL?!?

PC: No shortage of fans here for either participant. This is what makes the XWF fans so great!

Just as Jim turns to his left with the giant bra, Hanari ended up turning right back toward him and they come face to face. Hanari gets stone faced and tosses the thong aside, but Jim looks way too happy right now.

BAM!!!

Jim just slammed the old lady's bra right down onto Hanari's head!

HHL: Oh COME on! DQ, ref! Hello!

PC: Live a little, Heather. What has this world come to if a bra can cause a DQ? Don't be so sensitive!

Hanari obviously wasn't affected by the bra, and already has kicked Jim in the stomach and hammered a hard forearm down across Jim's back. Hanari throws the nasty ass old lady's bra out of the ring and turns back toward... CRACK!!!!

PC: Ouch!! Jim with that well placed superkick!

HHL: Is it already party time?

Jim hits another of the exact same superkick!

PC: Looks like it!

Hanari falls back into the ropes and gets tangled up in them for a second; just long enough for Jim to rush forward and dropkick him to send him flying through the ropes to the outside with a nasty thud. Jim quickly exits the ring to rush over to the old lady whose bra he received earlier and asks if she needs any help keeping her tata's held up. She confirms she's alright without him but then she warns him!

Old ass lady: Here comes that ugly beaner!

Jim dives out of the way as Hanari was leaping through the air and Hanari crashes into the old lady in the front row!!!!

HHL: OH MY GOD!

Jim rushes over and pulls Hanari back over the barricade to ringside and just starts rapidly headbutting him at close range as Hanari is down on his knees and trying to block them. Hanari shoves Jim back and very quickly slides into the ring, getting to his feet and when Jim slides in after him, Hanari lands a hard forearm drop to Jim and pulls him into a headlock. He drags him to the center of the ring and hits SEVERAL front neck lock knee lifts. The aggression in his strikes sends shockwaves through Jim's entire body until Hanari pulls back and uses Jim's stumbling forward momentum to send Jim shoulder first into the turnbuckle.

Hanari can't help but stop and wink at the sexy ass Latina in the front row who is leaning over the barricade and waving her hands high in the air as all her cleavage just screams for attention. Jim drops down to the outside and when Hanari follows, Jim slips back in just as quickly leaving Hanari at ringside looking annoyed. He shakes his head and walks up the steps, slowly getting back into the ring and seemingly waiting for Jim to try and take advantage.

PC: Earlier we saw Hanari take advantage of Jim entering the ring and it looks like now Hanari is expecting the same in return.

HHL: Yet Jim's just standing back and welcoming him in with a smile?

Jim extends a hand toward Hanari at this point.

PC: Oh boy. You never know what to expect when a guy like Jim Jimson offers you a hand shake!

HHL: Eh, at least it can't be as bad as being offered a Randy Orton handshake.

PC: Oh! Good one Heather!

Hanari looks a bit disgusted by Jim at this point. He takes a step toward Jim and looks down at his hand. Jim's other hand is behind his back, apparently to show Hanari he doesn't have any plans of hitting him.

Hanari rolls his eyes and chuckles as

jc/ Pinecone! Pinecone! BY GOD PINE CONE!!!!!

HHL: How the heck did Jim get the WHOLE thing in Hanari's mouth that quick?!?

BLAST!!! Jim just kicked upward into Hanari's jaw and

HHL: Oh my lord. It's like a geyser of blood coming out of Hanari's mouth.

Jim kicks Hanari in the mouth again and this time Hanari's head whips back and the pine cone goes flying out into the audience! He bounces off a teenage girl's head and then is caught by a rather fat neckbeard who seems far too excited about it.

Boom! DDT to Hanari from Jim! Jim goes for the cover!




...1






























...2 KICKOUT!

Jim just starts pounding on Hanari's face mercilessly as the hot women in the front row are horrified. After a few more he pulls Hanari up but Hanari muscles Jim's body up into an inverted atomic drop to stun him!

PC: Ouch.

Hanari spins Jim around and now hits a standard atomic drop, after which he shoves Jim forward into the rope and catches the back of Jim's head with an Enzuigiri. Jim goes down right there next to the ropes, and Hanari pulls Jim's head under the bottom rope and lines the rope up with Jim's throat. Hanari steps on the bottom rope with both feet and is using it to choke Jim!

The ref begins counting...

1

2

PC: He better let go before five!

3

4

And at the VERY last microsecond, he hops off the ropes and starts arguing with the referee, pointing at his own bloody mouth and asking why the hell that was ok for Jim to do. The ref seems to be claiming ignorance to any rules pertaining to pine cone usage. Hanari turns back to Jim in disgust and peels him up off the canvas. Hanari sends Jim into the far ropes, and as Jim comes running back...

PC: Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Jim's been broken in half!

Hanari goes for a quick cover..



...1





























...2


































...KICKOUT!

Hanari quickly yanks Jim back up again and whips him into the corner with fury. Hanari follows up with a step up Enzuigiri and then pulls Jim straight to the middle of the ring for Viva la Republic!

HHL: Hanari with his patented Cross Arm Breaker locked in tight!

Jim fights the pain as the ref checks for the submission!











...but he's not giving up!


















...Jim is screaming and reaching around wildly with his free arm for anything he can find but to no avail!



























...The fans are on their feet and rallying behind Jim!






























...But it's too much! He taps! Jim taps!

Hanari immediately releases the hold and shoves Jim away from him with his feet before rising up with his wrist being raised in victory by the ref.

WINNER VIA SUBMISSION - HANARI CARNES


HHL: A strong showing here tonight by both men in what was somewhat of a …. unique match up. Now Hanari moves on to round two of March Madness!






The words NEVER...BE...SILENT!!! appear on the screen as the song starts. Lights go out Stobe lights at the top of the ramp illuminate the silhouette of Jessalyn. The lights come on to her facing the facing the ring. She runs down the ramp, slides into the ring. Climbs the turnbuckle with arms stretched out.




Phantom Panzer slowly walks out as the lights dim. Then they light up on the ramp only, and he walks out and as he walks along the lit ramp, blood seemingly follows his every step, coating the ramp. As he reaches the ring, the ring is lit up and before he enters, and as he steps foot inside the squared circle, the effect rushes from all four corners. After a minute, he throws his arms out fast upwards, and the lights brighten as bloodied confetti shoots out and into the crowd.

HHL: Gross.

The ref checks to make sure both combatants are ready and signals for the bell!

Phantom Panzer
- vs -
Jessalyn Hart
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2


DING DING DING...

Jessalyn wastes no time darting toward the god clown as suddenly a massive pie splats right into her face!

PC: Uhhhhh.... ok?

HHL: Where the heck did that even come from? Thin air?

Hart goes flying back as a result of the impact from the pie, which now has dissapeared and left no remnants behind. The ref looks unsure of how to call this... but Panzer shows his empty hands and claims to have broken no rules.

Panzer seems amused, turning back toward Jessalyn who is rising to her feet and this time she circles around Panzer who has taken his place in the center of the ring. She finally lunges toward him and the two lock up!

They both try to angle for the advantage over the other and as soon as Panzer seems to be in control, Hart drops down to her back and catches Panzer right in the face with her foot! He stumbles back as she springs up and leaps toward him, catching him with a hurricanrana and holding it into a pinning attempt after landing on top of him!

...1
















...HUUUUUUUGE KICKOUT!!!!

Jessalyn flies out of the ring!

Panzer leaps to his feet!

PC: I guess the GOD CLOWN is in full effect here today, huh?

HHL: I... guess? The XWF is a strange place. Sometimes these over the top, supernatural beings seem to have all their powers during shows and other times it's like they forgot them. I guess today they're turned on fully though.

Panzer motions toward Jessalyn who is still at ringside and she falls into a black hole beneath her. A white hole opens up about 10 feet above Panzer's head and a negative image version of Hart falls out of it! He catches the negative Hart with a huge rising uppercut that sends her BACK up into the white hole! Now the black hole opens up at ringside and normal Hart pops up out of it, COVERED from head to toe in blood!!!

HHL: Good lord! How the hell are we supposed to call this?

PC: I'm not even sure, Heather. Pretty hard to just claim it's a gimmick when it's happening right in the open! I just hope we're safe over here.

Panzer takes his time exiting the ring and walking over to Hart, who is slipping and sliding in all the mysterious blood she's soaked in. Panzer wraps his hand around her throat and squeezes, cutting off circulation to her head as it begins to take on the vibrant colors of a clown. Her whole face is suddenly painted like a clown as she gags and chokes!

Panzer tosses her into the ring and follows, making a lazy cover without hooking the leg...



...1




























...shoulder up!

Panzer reaches down and Hart catches him in the head with a hard kick! She springs to her feet and dodges a huge haymaker from Panzer, using her momentum as she bounces off the far ropes and comes rushing back at Panzer with a picture perfect drop kick that takes him off his feet! She lays a few hard stomps into him before he gets up, and she quickly backs up to measure him... shining wizard! Panzer goes right back down!

Hart with a cover!

...1
































...KICKOUT!

Harts wastes no time! Snap DDT to Panzer! Another cover!

...1























...2























...KICKOUT!

Hart lays into him hard with kicks and stomps, then pulls him up and suddenly Panzer has a burst of energy and sends a thick wave of weird ass green slime out of his mouth!

BUT HART DUCKS!

She avoids the disgusting goop and takes Panzer down face first with a drop toe hold and it's Panzer who lands face first into a puddle of his own green slop!

HHL: he can dish it out but can he take it?

PC: Looks to me like he can.

At that point, Panzer is slurping up all that green goo and leaving not a drop behind.

HHL: Oh jesus christ! Sick!

Hart meanwhile has ascended to the top rope and she leaps off, catching Panzer right in the head with a flying knee! He goes careening toward the referee and ends up splashing into him! Yes splashing. As in a ton of frosting and whipped cream just exploded from between them when they hit. Panzer and the ref both go flying away from each other after that massive explosion of deliciousness, and Hart is wasting no time preparing for her next move as Panzer rises...

Death Awaits You! She nailed her patented package crucifix driver perfectly!

But she's immediately pulling Panzer back up and hits it AGAIN just as perfectly!

Then a third time!

Now she pulls him up, cracks him so hard across the face with a lightning fast roundhouse that he's dazed and confused standing there... Hart bounces off the ropes and comes back to hit the C.F.S. (Crazy Flippy Shit!)

HHL: That running Canadian Destroyer variation from Jessalyn always looks so perfectly done!

The ref dives to make the count as Hart holds the pin!

...1





















...2




























...THREE!!!!


WINNER VIA PINFALL: JESSALYN HART



PC: Seems like even with all those powers in full effect, Jessalyn was able to overcome PP today!

HHL: She now moves to round two of March Madness and certainly must be expecting things to be a little less weird after this!

PC: Haha! Joke's on her if that's the case.



Scully
- vs -
Zeebo The Clown
Carnival of Chaos
A nonsense match with weapons such as; joy buzzers, whoopie cushions & cream pies (the food! Get your mind out of the gutter)
There will most definitely be other bullshit to ensue



The following is a CARNIVAL OF CHAOS match!





We return from commercial, The arena is plunged into darkness. A spotlight shines and the Camera pans around to show that a table has been laid out at the top of the ramp. On it there is a plates and plates of cream pies.



Zeebo's demented circus theme plays as he dances out swinging his arms from left to right. Ringmaster is with him. He makes a presenting gesture with his arms and embraces Zeebo, before walking to the back to let Zeebo do his thing.



He stops at the top of the ramp and claps his hands, from the rafters it rains confetti, balloons and steamers. The full arena lights now come up and we see along the entrance way and ringside area that variety of different carnival related objects has been placed. Including a coco-nut shy, a shoot the water into a clowns mouth game, a test of strength meter, and various other circus things. Inside the ring there has been four poles erected at each corner. On one there is a shock hand buzzer, on the other a large super soaker gun, on the other a jack in the box, and on the final one there is a midget which has been attached by dungarees dangling from it.



Zeebo saunters down the aisle pointing at some of the things which have been provided. At the side of the ramp there is an elephant, which is wearing some sort of tabard/tunic that says "XWF" on it. There is also various other circus animals including monkeys wearing Fez's playing various musical instruments.



PC: What the fuck is going on, I've seen some fucked up things in XWF but this.... This is something else.



HHL : I'm just surprised the XWF's budget stretched to so much.



Zeebo enters the ring and spins around dancing before coming to a stop and slumping in the corner with a demonic smile. He awaits the arrival of Scully.


The match begins as Zeebo and Scully lock up. Scully takes control quickly by putting Zeebo in a headlock and starts to work on trying to take out the energy of Zeebo. He reverses round and goes into a back wristlock, and then clotheslines Zeebo from behind, sending him slumping to the ground grabbing his neck.



Scully stomps on Zeebo, and then goes to the corner. He climbs the turnbuckle and grabs the first toy dangling from the pole. It's a shock hand buzzer. He puts it on and picks up Zeebo by the hair. He presses the shock buzzer into the face of Zeebo. Zeebo screams in pain as the shock runs through him.



HHL : That's shocking!



Scully punches Zeebo repeatedly, using the shock toy as a makeshift knuckle duster. He goes for a quick cover, only gets a 1 count as Zeebo kicks out and rolls to the outside. He has a smile on his face, almost as if the pain from the buzzer is giving him some sort of sick enjoyment.



Scully follows Zeebo out the ring. Zeebo walks round to the coconut shy, and grabs a coconut, smacking it off the face of Scully. Scully is rocked as the coconut disintegrates on impact. He goes down to one knee. Zeebo grabs another coconut and slams it off the head of Scully again, and another and a final one. Scully falls to the ground and Zeebo makes the cover, again only a 1 count as Scully kicks out quickly.



Zeebo grabs Scully and walks him round to the next stall which is a test of strength. Zeebo throws Scully off it rocking it. He then picks up Scully by the hair and goes to slam his head off the button. Scully counters this, and Zeebo's head is driven into the Test of Strength.



"You are.... only 40% strong."



The test of strength machine whimpers



-Ding-ding-ding-ding- Scully continually slams Zeebo's head into the test of strength. It Flashes repeatedly, making a dinging noise with every impact.-



"You are 55 percent strong... It's almost as if you're using a person and not hammer" the machine exclaims.



Scully stops slamming the head into the test of strength as Zeebo slumps to the ground. Scully takes this opportunity to taunt a little and work the crowd.



Zeebo stirs and clambers to his feet. Stumbles around and grabs a novelty oversized hammer which has been lying at ringside. He swings it and connects with Scully's back sending him to the ground in agony.

Zeebo picks Scully up by the hair and walks him over to the "Water in a Clowns Mouth game".



Zeebo throws Scully over the counter and punches him repeatedly, And slumps him against the wall. Zeebo vaults over and grabs one of the water guns and starts to shoot the water at Scully. Drenching him.

Scully gulps and gasps as the water attacks his mouth.



Zeebo stops and walks over to the next stall which is a "Fresh cooked Donuts" stall. He takes a bite out of one.



PC : That smells damn good.



Zeebo then grabs the vat of Oil that the donuts have been cooking in and carries it over to the counter of the Clown and Water game. Scully is slowly becoming more alert and clambers to his feet. Zeebo, panicked hurls the oil and it connects with Scully's legs. Scully manages to avoid the words of it but still catches some of it with his legs, and yelps in pain before launching himself at Zeebo.



Zeebo and Scully are brawling on the ground and rolling around. Scully gains control and grabs the hair of Zeebo and walks him over to the ring and throws him in.



Scully whips Zeebo into the corner. This corner has the midget dangling from it. Scully climbs up the buckles and punches Zeebo 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10!



Zeebo falls to the ground and Scully scales the turnbuckles. He grabs the midget from the pole and helps him down. The midget scurries around the ring and over to Zeebo and kicks his face.


Scully laughs as Zeebo springs angrily to his feet and starts remonstrating with the midget.



Zeebo then turns his attention to Scully, grabs the midget by the legs and starts swinging him like a baseball bat.



HHL : He's using the midget! Goddamnit! Won't anyone think of the children.



PC: He's not a child, he's 38 years old!



HHL: dammnit! He looks like a child!



Zeebo connects with the midget, taking Scully out and sending him to the outside. Scully stumbles and ends up at the table with the cream pies on it.



Zeebo runs off the ropes and launches himself over them, but Scully sidesteps and slams Zeebo through the table causing the cream pies to splat all over the front row and the table to implode!



Scully goes for the cover.

1









2








Zeebo thrusts his shoulder up. Scully slams his fists into some of the destroyed pies, causing pastry and cream to fly all over the place.


Zeebo gets up slowly and starts to pepper Scully with punches. They brawl up over to the area where the monkey's with fez's and musical instruments are.


Zeebo hurls scully into the side door of the cage and he goes flying through it.


The monkey's jump in fright, dropping their musical instruments. They squeal as the clammer for space as Scully angrily throws hay and monkey shit off himself.


The monkey's then turn nasty and start to attack Scully. One jumps onto his shoulders and starts to rain fists on the face of Scully. He tries to throw it off and another starts to attack the legs.


Zeebo saunters into the cage laughing, and suddenly another monkey jumps down and starts to rain the fists down on him too.


Zeebo and scully manage to over power the monkeys, and hoist them off their shoulders. They look at each other and nod. Throwing the two monkeys into each other. The two monkeys slam against each other and scarper out of the cage. There is still two left and both zeebo and scully work together to chase them out of the cage. The monkey's high tail it out of the cage as a stage hand tries to catch them as they run through the curtain.


Zeebo and Scully have exited the cage having chased the monkeys and turn to each other and shrug. They then start to fight again. Brawling over to the elephant that is side of stage. The elephant has already managed to create a steaming mount of elephant shit.


They brawl over with Scully gaining control. He goes for a suplex, but it is countered by Zeebo into a suplex into the big steaming pile of shit!


Scully rolls out of it and spews.


HHL : HE'S GONNA! HE'S GONNA PUKE!


Zeebo spots Scully on his knees and seizes the opportunity to deliver a curb stomp onto some remaining fragments of shit.


Zeebo covers Scully



1










2














3




WINNER VIA PINFALL: ZEEBO THE CLOWN!







Boris makes his way out, somewhat bobbing his head to his bad ass music and a few fans are doing the same. Boris stands in the ring and lets most of the song play.


Finally, we get silence for a few seconds and then...





"BLOODMONEY" by Poppy hits the sound system as the main screen is flush with images of Madison Dyson in action interspersed with fascist imagery from Nazi era Germany including dramatic rallies, that fade into more modern scenes of right wing upheaval. These scenes are cut with shots of her bathed in a white light looking messianic, as well as her name in Fraktur font colored blood red.

Madison Dyson
- vs -
Boris
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2



DING DING DING...


Madison Dyson just relaxes in the corner as Boris seems to be taking himself way too seriously for no reason at all. Dyson doesn't even acknowledge him as he gets into what can be described as a sumo stance and looks ready to rumble!


Meanwhile, the referee for this contest is none other than Richard Wang, who has in the past been proven to be open to bribes.


PC: Hmmm... ya know, with Richard Wang's past, it really is interesting seeing him counting a fat wad of cash right now. I mean it really makes you wonder, ya know?


HHL: That's a damn good point, PC. Where'd he get that money, anyway?


Madison Dyson can literally hear the commentators because she was paying attention to anything other than Boris. She yells over to them...


Dyson: It's from Shane, you two fuckers! I mean he's literally right there!


And yes, at ringside we see Shane Carver who is putting the rest of his money back into his pocket after having handed a ton of it to the referee.


Boris sees this happening and seems to be concerned! He starts yelling something in that deep, thick accent and throwing his arms in the air! The ref quickly pockets the cash and yells at Boris...


Referee Richard Wang: You mind your own goddamn business if you know what's good for you!


Boris starts to accuse Richard Wang of being a Western Spy!


Meanwhile, Madison Dyson is lounging in the corner and checking her finger nails which of course have mini swastikas on them. She shows them off to the camera as Boris and the referee get into a rather heated debate and...


HHL: What are they even saying?


PC: Boris and the damned Asian referee arguing for what seems like an hour now, and neither one of them is speaking English!


HHL: Not to mention, I'm fairly sure they aren't even arguing in the same language! What the hell is happening?!?


Shane Carver jumps up on the apron and starts to admonish the referee...


Carver: You dip shit! I paid you for a reason! Now stop standing there like a jagbag, and do your damn job you stupid chink! I want you to DQ Boris right now for being a disgusting Slavniac!


HHL: Wang looks worried and confused. He obviously accepted a bribe from Shane but didn't realize how freakin' nuts Shane is.


Shane spits at referee Richard Wang, and it would have went right in Wang's eyes but... well... Asian.


PC: Wang squints just in time!


HHL: Ugh... He wasn't squinting, PC. That's just his normal eyes. How oblivious are you?


Shane is in the ring, kicking Richard Wang in the shins and slapping him.


Boris runs up behind Shane and clobbers him in the back of the head, sending Shane face first into the ref and knocking him out!


That's when Madison Dyson springs into action!!!


And exits the ring!!!


And lifts up the ring apron!!!


To expose a large cage!!!


That she unlocks!!!


PC: Dyson apparently keeping her dogs crated under the ring these days.


HHL: Those are no dogs, PC! Those are...
…......
…....
…...
…..
….


..
...hired assassins!



PC: More like HIRED GUNS!!!


And just like that, Madison Dyson has unleashed TWO...



...that's right, not one...



TWO!!!


TWO HIRED GUNS!!!




Both of these anonymous purveyors of prepaid pain are covered from head to toe in what looks like tactical/ninja gear of some kind, complete with masks over their faces.


HHL: We've seen over the last TWENTY years, ever since the CCWF days, various entities playing the role of "The Hired Gun" to aid Shane Carver and his allies, but there have never been two at the SAME time!


PC: Maybe they'll form a tag team and call themselves the double barrel shotgun!


Both Hired Guns quickly enter the ring and just blast Boris back and forth like he's a ping pong ball! Bam! He gets sent to the left and BOOM he gets sent to the right and BAM he's sent back again... back and forth... bing bong bing bong... Each Hired Gun just taking turns blasting Boris right in the face!


WHACK!


Hired Gun #1 kicks Boris in the balls!


CRACK!


Hired Gun #2 drops Boris with a springboard DDT!


The crowd boos as Shane Carver rolls out to ringside and the two Hired Guns follow him. Shane smiles, looking at the downed Boris. He then looks at the ref who is still down as well.


Carver: You can wake up now, idiot!


And just like that, Richard Wang is back up and observing Madison Dyson entering the ring to pin Boris!


Wang counts...




...1




































...2































...Boris kicks out!


Boris surprises Madison Dyson with a crucifix pin out of thin air!!!


Referee Richard Wang looks a bit confused and shrugs before dropping down to count Madison's shoulders down...



...1
















Carver: Moron!


THWACK!!!


Shane kicks Wang so hard in the ass he almost does a 360. Money falls out of Wang's pockets and litters the ring which obviously concerns him way more than counting the pin.


PC: Bribery dough, Heather!


HHL: Get it while it's hot, Pip!!!


The commentators themselves waste no time rushing into the ring and snatching up some of that cash that fell out of Asian Richard Wang's pockets! Heather is stuffing bills down her shirt and Pip is stuffing his pockets.


Referee Richard Wang is arguing with Shane Carver and backs up, tripping over commentator Pip Collins who was stuffing wads of hundred dollar bills into his mouth.


Wang: Gah! Fool! Thief!


Richard is about to kick Pip but Boris has seen enough!!!


Boris with the hurricanrana to Shane Carver! Shane stumbles into Madison Dyson and both go stumbling out of the ring together. Madison and Shane land with a hard thud at ringside and get knocked silly for just a moment as Shane is on top of Madison. Madison is first to come to her senses, trying to wiggle free from under Shane's body...


Dyson: Ugh... Gah! Why are you HARD?!?


Dyson finally shoves Shane's limp (yet hard) body off of her just in time for Boris to come crashing down onto Dyson with a flying senton bomb off the top rope!


Boris pulls Dyson up and rolls her into the ring, quickly following up with a spinning torture rack sit out powerbomb!


Both Heather and Pip have returned to their spots at commentary just in time to say...


PC: What a big move! And that gives Boris just the opening he needs!


HHL: That's right he's going for it! The SLAV SQUAT!!!!


And they were right – Boris was indeed executing his patented Slav Squat to perfection, squatting on his toes while taunting Madison Dyson and the fans!


Boris goes for a cover but referee Richard Wang is too busy smashing him in the fucking head with a bottle of vodka!


BLAAAST!!!!


PC: Holy shit!


HHL: The REFEREE just smashed a vodka bottle over one of the competitors' heads. That's just great...


Richard Wang steps back and waves someone into the ring...





It's...


PETER GILMOUR!


GILLY CUTTER!!!!


PC: Gilly just cut Boris in half with that Gilly Cutter out of nowhere!


Boris hits the canvas so hard he bounces back up...


But then THAT quickly, in a flash of majestic white light...


HHL: Holy CRAP! Where'd HE come from?!?


PC: Wow! The Engineer just fucking MURDERED Boris! Oh my GOD!!! I never ever saw him coming!!!


Nobody could explain it, but they all knew they had just seen The Engineer catch Boris in mid-air with Morte Noire – his patented spinning kick finishing maneuver.


Boris hit the canvas hard. Now everyone just lays into Boris!


PC: Boot party!


Shane Carver, The Engineer, Peter Gilmour, Madison Dyson, the corrupt Asian referee known as Richard Wang, and BOTH of the Hired Guns are just stomping the living hell out of Boris!


Shane seems to all of a sudden have a bright idea...


Carver: Guys! I want to try my new move on him! Help me out!


PC: Oh no...


HHL: Shane doesn't exactly have the best move set. This is likely going to be ugly, whatever it is!


The Hired Guns both pull Boris up and hold him near the ropes and Shane comes running along! Shane grabs Boris by the neck for what would be a Gilly Cutter but Shane himself jumps feet first through the middle and top rope, dragging Boris' entire body behind him by his neck!


Thud!


THUD!


PC: Oh Jesus! He calls that one THE MULTI HIT MURDER CUTTER!!


HHL: Whatever you call it, it's absolutely atrocious to watch. Shane just "cuttered" Boris through the ropes, slamming his face down into the ring apron on the way out, and then slamming Boris down at ringside for the final hit! Boris' body was spiked and his neck bent! All in ONE move! NASTY!


Boris is twitching and convulsing at ringside. The corrupt piece of trash referee that is Richard Wang is laughing, drinking from some open bottles of vodka that Peter Gilmour and The Hired Guns are popping open and just pouring all over the place. Shane walks up to Wang and smiles and laughs right along with him, sharing a drink with him as...


Carver: Alright shit head. Just count this fucking dick bag Boris down right here at ringside while Madison pins him.


And that quickly, the ref is doing exactly that!


There's not even any anticipation or build up. Nope.


Just literally a quick slapping of the mat - 1 2 3 - And it's over. That fast.


WINNER VIA BULLSHIT PINFALL: MADISON DYSON!



Richard Wang accepts some more money from Shane Carver and everyone celebrates Madison Dyson's motivational performance here tonight.


PC: Well it seems like this whole tournament is going to be pointless if the slot with Madison Dyson's name in it really means her whole damn stable is in it!


HHL: Along with that damned Asian ref!


PC: I know! You'd think Madison would have higher standards!






Miller walks down the ramp bopping her head with a joint hanging out her mouth.



"Death March" By Motionless In White starts to play as the fans boo throughout the arena. Out comes Barney Green as we see that figure with him. The figure cackles as he sees Barney Green start walking down towards the ring. The fans look frightened as the figure follows him. He makes it to the ring as we see the figure pull out a car battery and jumper cables. Green just exposes his thumbs to him as the figure sparks the cables and then places them on Green's thumbs as Green just grunts. he removes the cables and Green climbs into the ring. Green just stares into space as his music fades.

Barney Green
- vs -
Geri Miller
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2


Both competitors limber up in their corners.

DING! DING! DING!

Geri tosses her smoke out of the ring and meets Green in the center to fist bump; but big bad Barn ain't having that shit and grabs Miller's wrist and going under and wrenching it; Green moves to her back and snaps down on the shoulder before throwing Geri back with an amr trap suplex! But Miller flips out and lands on her feet mid-air with a cheer from the crowd as Geri smiles and nods at the fans with a hazy look.

PC: "Impressive skills from Geri to stick that landing."

HHL: "Well you could call her a high-flyer... a high-flyer! ... Please laugh."

Barney sneers and rushes Geri who puts up a hand and slowly goes to the mat onto her stomach and motions Green to carry on. Barney runs over Miller and hops over her, he hits the ropes and leaps over again; Barney runs back to the center and leans down to throw Miller over but Geri is still stoned on the mat looking at Green with a wave. Barney grabs her hand and slowly helps her up before slumping her over his shoulders and dropping her to the mat with a pop from the crowd. Geri lays still on the mat looking at the lights; Green spins around and goes for a cover. The ref slides in for the count.

1




...





2




And Miller rocks her shoulders from side to side and escapes Green's weight like a kush addicted caterpillar. Green slams his hands on the mat and goes to the shadowy figure in the corner and orders for the car battery to be attached. Geri sits up criss-cross applesauce and begins to roll another joint as she watched Green get juiced. The crowd begin to chant.

FRANKEN-GREEN!

FRANKEN-GREEN!

FRANKEN-GREEN!

Green surges with electricity and he is basically glowing with energy!

PC: "Radiating energy, the traffic light is green! That's how you make a pun, Heather."

Green roars to the sky and runs around the ring like a mad man; swinging at the air as Geri sticks the blunt in her mouth and lights it up. Green wildly stares at Geri and pumps his arms as Miller gets into a low stance.

Green clenches his hands and charges!

HHL: "Geri is looking at a freight train right now."

Barney sprints forth!

And Geri goes wide-eyed in terror!

AND!

GERI ROLLS HIM UP WITH A SCHOOLBOY!

THE REF RUSHES IN!

1




...




2





...





3!!!

WINNER VIA PINFALL: GERI MILLER!









Twenty midgets with sparkers in both hands held as high as their little arms can reach, line both sides of the entrance ramp. The sparkers ignite as Thunder Knuckles walks past them. Once Thunder Knuckles is down to the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and in one movement he pops up to his feet. With his back turned towards the camera, he raises his right fist in defiance. As soon as his fist goes up, counterfeit xbux with Thunder Knuckles's face on them fall onto the crowd.


Thunder Knuckles is awaiting the arrival of his opponent but instead we see...


[Image: YIeLQAH.jpg]


Referee Richard Wang!


He walks out from the back and orders whatever other random ref was in the ring to get the fuck out of town. He also orders all of TK's midgets to the back and tells them to grow the fuck up.


HHL: Well that was... odd.


PC: No kidding. I can't recall the last time I've ever seen a referee come out and order the other referee to leave.


HHL: And did you see how rude he was to those little people?


With ref Richard Wang in the ring with his arms crossed, looking like the pinnacle of sports entertainment authority, the official entrance theme of The Calvary finally begins...





Calvary's theme plays as the fans await his arrival.

Thunder Knuckles
- vs -
The Calvary
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2



PC: Something doesn't feel right here...


The music has been playing for about a minute, but nobody comes out...


After a few more seconds, the fans let out a horrified gasp as the crimson colored body of a victim collapses out onto the stage from the back!


It's the trembling, quivering, nude body of a rather impressive looking specimen...


HHL: That's The Calvary! What the heck has happened to him?


Now a few seconds later, out from the back, steps a man wearing The Calvary's ring gear... complete with his cape!


It's SUPER SHAMELESS SHANE CARVER!!!


The music instantly changes to static feed cutting through the air and then silence as Shane gazes down the ramp and locks eyes with Thunder Knuckles...


Now, out from behind Shane, two more men appear.


THE HIRED GUN


and


THE HIRED GUN


HHL: We saw these two unknown purveyors of prepaid pain earlier tonight during Madison Dyson's match! These guys mean business, Pip!


PC: They sure do, Heather! One of them is carrying a damned rifle!


Shane Carver walks down the ramp wearing The Calvary's "superman" style outfit, and he has a thick chain he's using like a leash to drag the bloodied, naked body of The Calvary down the ramp behind him.


Shane drags the bloodied and beaten Calvary into the ring and lays him out in the center for Thunder Knuckles. Shane smiles at Knuckles and just looks at him for a few seconds...


Carver: "Well here we are. Ya know... there was a time I doubted if we'd ever have this chance. What with that whole disappearing problem when you owed me a SHIT TON of money and all that...


"But hey! The good news is you somehow managed to get some interesting parties to send you some cash to pay off your debt to me!


"But oh shit! The bad news is you OVERPAID me!


"That's right!


"You see... I owe you some change!"



Shane takes his eyes off of TK and just stomps on Calvary's beaten body rapidly for a few seconds, then looks over to referee Richard Wang and winks at him...


Shane leaves the ring and stands at ringside between his two Hired Guns, and referee Richard Wang signals for the bell for this match to begin!


PC: Uh, alright? And we're off! 1 on 1 match to determine who advances to round 2 of March Madness!


HHL: I guess so! I mean after the skullduggery we saw this Richard Wang referee involved in earlier during Madison Dyson's scam of a match, this shouldn't surprise us.


Shane is seen yelling into the ring at Thunder Knuckles.


Carver: Just hurry up and pin this moron so you can advance to round 2, and that will be me giving you your change that I owe you!


PC: Oh well that's not so bad. Shane just wants to pay back TK!


Thunder Knuckles seems hesitant, but then looks at the ref and is told point blank what's up.


Referee Richard Wang: Look man, you're gonna pin this guy and I'm gonna count. Let's just make this easy for all of us so I can go get fuckin' wasted.


But before TK can even react, he's clobbered from behind! BAM!!! One of the Hired Guns cracked TK in the back of the head with their damned rifle!


HHL: Jesus! He's lucky that thing didn't go off!


Knuckles crashes down onto the canvas over the fallen body of The Calvary, who is facing up. TK receives a few kicks to the ribs from the Hired Gun and ends up with his face directly over Calvary's. The second Hired Gun slithers into the ring now and measures up TK from across the ring...


CURB STOMP TO THUNDER KNUCKLES, SMASHING HIS FACE RIGHT DOWN INTO CALVARY'S FACE!!!


Both Hired Guns just lay into Thunder Knuckles and The Calvary with well placed kicks to the ribs and throat, as well as several hard stomps to their heads. Finally they pull them both up and just ram both of them head first into each other the same way you'd ram someone into the corner post. A sickening CRACK echoes throughout the arena as TK and Calvary both fall to the canvas, motionless.


Shane Carver holds his hand out to one of the Hired Guns, who pulls some cash out of his utility belt and slaps it down into Shane's open palm. Shane holds the money up high...


Carver: And here, as promised after all this time, is the last of your change. Thanks again for your payment, and looking forward to doing business again in the VERY near future! Oh! And congrats on making it to round two! Maybe you'll run into my friend Madison there! Ha!


Shane shoves the wad of cash into TK's mouth and then leaves the ring with both Hired Guns.


Referee Richard Wang just shrugs and figures he'll finish things up here so he can go home. He pulls TK's arm over Calvary's body and just does a quick count to make it official... 1, 2, THREE!


WINNER VIA PINFALL: THUNDER KNUCKLES



Shane and The Hired Guns are all applauding TK's masterful and inspiring performance here tonight.


PC: Well TK moves on to round two AND has been paid back the little bit of change Shane Carver owed him from their last transaction several weeks back! I'd say it's a win/win here.


HHL: That's sure one way to look at it, Pip. You're a special kind of guy.


Richard Wang is seen running toward the back with money falling out of his pockets.


Finally, it looks like one of The Hired Guns is hanging back and has a microphone! From up on the stage, now standing alone, he looks down toward the ring where Thunder Knuckles is just starting to move a bit...


OG Hired Gun: Let this be a lesson to you and everyone. Remember all that time of Shane's you wasted before you paid him? Then making him track you down to give you your fucking change? Well now you know his time is worth far more than any amount of money you can pay, and his change is something you never want to be on the receiving end of!


TOGHG drops the mic and heads to the back to join his cohorts.


Meanwhile in the ring, TK slips on some blood which seems to instantly snap him out of it and he freaks out as he tries pushing Calvary's naked bloody body away from him, then beats the shit out of him for a few seconds before hitting THE THUNDER STRIKE!


HHL: Oh! And after all that, TK leaves us with his devastating finisher! The DDT to Calvary's right foot!




”The following Tag Team contest is scheduled for one fall… Currently in the ring they are the team of Afton Pepper & Vic Vinegar… THE SPICE RACK!!”


A smattering of applause can be heard throughout the crowd.












The New Jersey crowd ERUPTS!


”And their opponents, first about to make his way to the ring… ROBERT “THE OMEGA” MAIN!”


Robert steps out in front of the sold out crowd which garners a louder ovation from the crowd if it’s even possible.


”The XWF faithful LOVE this man!”


Robert stands at the top of the ramp as his music fades into….






There’s a very loud, very mixed reception from the Jersey crowd as the house lights dim out and we get the green and white strobe lights flickering all over the area as a thick white smog can be seen invading the top of the ramp.


”And his partner, being led to the ring by ADAM BARKER… He is “CHRONIC” CHRIS PAGE!! Together they form the team of CATACLYSM!”


The mixed ovation grows louder as Chris Page emerges out to the top of the ramp through the smog flanked by Adam Barker. Chris and Main stand side by side as they look towards the ring before they start to make their way down the ramp.


”Cataclysm is dead set on challenging The Sick Cunts for the World Tag Team Championship…”


”If they’d accept the challenge…”

Cataclysm
Robert "The Omega" Main & "Chronic" Chris Page
- vs -
The Spice Rack
Afton Pepper & Vic Vinegar
Tag Team


Robert tags several hands along the way towards the ring while Chris looks like he’s going to high five a younger fan only to pull his hand back at the last second before flipping off the kid’s father. Cataclysm reaches ringside where both Main and Page climb up on the ring apron before stepping through the ropes but before they fully enter the ring we see Pepper jump on Page while Vinegar jumps on Main causing the referee to call for the bell.


DING… .DING… DING….


Pepper pulls Page the rest of the way into the ring where he looks to send him across the ring with an Irish whip, Page reverses and it’s Pepper bouncing off the ropes and into a Spin Buster Slam! Vinegar has brought Main into the ring where he swings with a clothesline, Main ducks and immediately hoists Vinegar up in the air in position for the Dead Man’s Hand while Page stalks Pepper who is pushing his way back up to his feet only to eat a boot to the midsection from Page that doubles him over for Page to position him for the Page Plant! Page and Main nod at each other before simultaneously delivering the DEAD MAN HAND and the PAGE PLANT on to the respective members of the Spice Rack! Page covers Pepper while Main covers Vinegar.


1!!!









2!!!!!












3!!!!!!!!!!



WINNERS VIA PINFALL: CATACLYSM!



Adam Barker is shown walking up the steel steps with a microphone in hand looking fresh in his tailor made red suit. Adam steps through the ropes and into the ring as he states.


”Ladies and Gentleman… Allow me to present to you the future XWF World Tag Team Champions, CATACLYSM!


There’s a loud pop which shifts into boo’s as Adam hands the microphone over to Chris Page. Chris smirks as he holds the microphone out towards Robert which gets a huge ovation from the crowd yet the moment he draws it back towards himself they shift into some boo’s. He holds it back out towards Main which gets another huge pop before drawing it back towards himself which garners some boo’s. Chris raises the microphone up to his lips as he stares directly into the “hard camera”.


”It’s crystal clear after what we heard from FuZz and Nicole that this is all one big joke to them to the point that not only did they refuse our challenge they ACCEPTED to the challenge of two lesser talents. Typical.”


The crowd erupts into massive boo’s from the crowd as Chris takes a moment before he continues.


”Basically The Sick Cunts aren’t Sick Cunts… they’re SCARED CUNTS and they’ve got every fucking right to be scared of what Cataclysm brings to the table. Robert Main and Chris Page ARE the legitimate Number One Contenders for the XWF Tag Team Titles and the more you run from us the more you’re both SELLING us on that cold, hard unadulterated fact! What we’re not going to do is chase either of you around like a couple of groupies chasing after their favorite rock band, oh no… Instead what we’re going to do is FORCE you hand by continuing to show up, show out and WIN because much like tonight we’re aren’t here to play games we’re here to establish that WE are the best! In order to prove that we are the best we’ve got to beat the best... and while the Sick Cunts aren’t the best, they’re on our radar for those titles and those titles only.”


A CATA-CLYSM chant starts to echo throughout the arena as Chris and Robert nod their heads.


”We don’t know what March Madness holds for us… Sick Cunts have the chance to make themselves legitimate champions by accepting our challenge or they can be the little bitches they are and dodge it. That choice belongs to them… for now.”


As Chris and Main exchange glances a masked man in a black hoodie and jeans climbs over the barricade and rolls into the ring behind them none the wiser.

Chris drops the microphone and turns around to exit the ring and that's when he sees the masked hooded man standing in his way. Robert Main also turns around wondering why there is a delay in their departure and he too then comes face to mask with the "man".

The masked hooded man takes a step forward towards Main and then towards Page. He tilts his head ever so slightly before backing away, rolling out of the ring and then disappearing through the very same crowd he just came out of.

Main and Page stand in the ring confused for a moment before the two of them along with Adam Barker depart for the back.



Mastermind
- vs -
Kieran Overton
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2





Beast by Puppy plays over the sound system as there's massive amount of boos when Kieran Overton walks out as he screams on top of his lungs with his hands in the air on top of the ramp, wearing shorts, shirt, gloves and boots.


He walks down and ignores each one of the fans before he goes up the steps and goes over the top rope and places his hand on his left arm, basically not giving a damn about them before he turns to anger, while he goes to sit in the corner, waiting for his opponent to come to the ring.





A figure is seen walking out from the back wearing a black hooded sweatshirt on. The hood was over his head so he couldn't be seen, and his head was looking down.


He stood in a stance. And as a white light appeared on his front, he unzipped his sweatshirt and showed the front of the t-shirt:


[Image: 4235893084%20Front.jpg]


As it continued he turned around and took off his hooded sweatshirt and revealed the back of the t-shirt which read:


[Image: 4235893084%20Back.jpg]


He turned back around and stood in a pose as the white light bathed on him to reveal: MASTERMIND


He then smirks as he walks all the way to the ring, with the Misfits Manager Antony The Jerk, walking not far behind. Followed by Melanie 'Crayzee' Childs and Kris 'The Hammer' Von Bonn.


The referee looks like he's warning The Misfits not to try any funny business at ringside here tonight.


PC: Nice to see we'll have a ref who actually plans to enforce rules here tonight, eh?


HHL: You said it. Looks like this random white ref is strictly by the book!


Mastermind and Kieran Overton are in their respective corners, both ready to go as the ref signals for the bell!


DING DING DING...


The two behemoths lock up and it's Mastermind with the early advantage as he lifts a knee up into Kieran's gut once, twice, and a third time before clubbing him with a massive forearm!


HHL: Mastermind going right to work and Antony The Jerk already looking pleased at ringside!


Mastermind whips Kieran into the far ropes and catches him on the rebound with a huge back body drop! He drops an elbow across Kieran's chest and stomps him a few times until Kieran rolls under the bottom rope to the outside. There he finds himself surrounded by The Misfits!


PC: Uh oh!


He readies himself for battle with them but they raise their hands as the ref yells at them to back away. Kieran enters the ring only to be greeted by a hard right hand and a kick to the gut from Mastermind.


HHL: It looks like Mastermind is about to go for a... wait!


Kieran with a sudden reversal that brings Mastermind down hard with a powerslam out of nowhere! Kieran with the cover!


...Kickout!


Kieran with immediate shots to Mastermind's face! He pins him again!


...1


...KICKOUT!


He smashes Mastermind in the face several more times, now in a ground and pound with clubbing shots just raining down into Mastermind's skull, and then Kieran goes for another pin! This time hooking both legs and pressing all his weight on Mastermind in the process...

...1


...KICKOUT!


PC: Mastermind easily able to kick out of those pin attempts, but Kieran knows how much energy it takes for every single kickout and he's wearing his prey down!


Kieran is blasting Mastermind's face with sharp elbow shots, finally landing one right above the eye and busting him open.


HHL: Mastermind with a nasty cut right at the eyebrow and the blood is getting into his eyes!


Kieran rips Mastermind up from the canvas and sends him so hard into the corner that Mastermind bounces back from the impact and is caught by Kieran with a sitout scoop slam piledriver. Kieran goes for another cover!

...1





























...2




















...KICKOUT!


Kieran uses Mastermind's own momentum against him after that powerful kickout, flipping him over and straight into... BEAST PAIN!


HHL: He's got it locked in! Kieran's unique camel clutch variation could spell the end for Mastermind here!


Antony The Jerk is NOT happy! He's slamming his hands down on the apron and shouting at Mastermind...


PC: The Jerk is yelling at Mastermind to get his foot on the rope!


And after a few more seconds of writhing in agony, Mastermind is able to feet around with his right foot and get his toes to touch the bottom rope! The ref immediately orders the break and starts his count as Kieran keeps his devastating submission locked in as long as possible...


...1 ...2


HHL: Kieran better break before the ref gets to 5 or he'll cost himself the match!


...3 ...4


...last possible moment and he finally releases the hold! The damage has been done as Mastermind's back and neck are in excruciating pain, causing him to rise very slowly as Kieran stalks him. Antony The Jerk is starting to yell and warn Mastermind that Kieran is right behind him... AND MASTERMIND JUST DROPS BACK INTO AN RKO!


PC: Oh!!! He didn't even look back first! As soon as he heard The Jerk he just reached back and cranked Kieran's neck straight to the canvas!


Mastermind takes a few moments to recover after taking Kieran down. Eventually Kieran rolls out of the ring and sets his sights on Antony, having grown tired of The Jerk's obvious influence on this match. Melanie Childs and Kris Von Bonn immediately stand in front of his path and block him from getting to their manager.


HHL: Things are about to heat up! Kieran isn't backing down and neither are the Misfits!


PC: Yeah but if all hell breaks loose here with The Misfits, guess who gets DQ'd? Mastermind.


HHL: I have to think the Master of the Minds is smarter than to let that happen, Pip!


PC: Ok. Haha


The ref is screaming like crazy down at the Misfits and Kieran to back away from each other! He gets between them so they don't come to blows and he orders Kieran into the ring, but Kieran grabs the ref and walks him in front of him like a shield, doing so all the way up the ring steps and getting into the ring with the ref as his hostage/shield. Once inside the ring, Kieran shoves the ref at Mastermind! The ref goes down and Mastermind is distracted just long enough for Kieran to rush in and hit THE DESTRUCTIVE DRIVER!


HHL: Good god! Kieran with his brutal flipping piledriver finisher! Mastermind is DONE.


Kieran goes for the cover, hooking the leg as...


No count is made. The ref is still down after being shoved into Mastermind by Kieran!


Antony The Jerk seizes the opportunity and sends Melanie and Kris into the ring to beat down Kieran. They make short work of him until Antony starts calling for them to come back out of the ring as the ref starts to move around! The Misfits are positioned right back at ringside by the time the ref shakes off the cobwebs and looks around him.


Kieran is down and Mastermind is going for the cover!


...1































...2
































...KICKOUT!


Mastermind quickly pulls Kieran up but Kieran grabs the ref as a distraction measure while he lifts his heel behind him right into Mastermind's groin!


PC: OOOOOH!!!!!!! That one hurt me just looking at it!


HHL: And the ref has no freakin' clue it happened, man!


Antony The Jerk is livid at ringside, having clearly seen what just happened! He gets up on the apron and lays a verbal thrashing to the referee, which causes the referee to be distracted as Kieran was blatantly blasting Mastermind with another nut shot, this time in the form of a closed fist! But the Misfits also saw their time to strike as the ref was arguing with Antony, and they catch Kieran with a double dropkick that takes him down!




Wait!




THE FANS ARE RISING TO THEIR FEET!!!




Just as Melanie, Kris and Mastermind looked about ready to deliver some sort of triple team move to Kieran...




PC: Chaos! Chris Chaos is here!!!


HHL: And Jenny Myst isn't far behind! And they're going right after The Misfits!



Antony The Jerk sees all of this happening but knows he needs to keep the ref distracted while all hell is breaking loose or it could cost his client the match via double DQ, so he has to think quick!


Chris Chaos and Jenny Myst are in the ring right behind the ref as they clash with Mastermind and the Misfits, but the ref is too busy worried about Antony The Jerk clutching his chest and claiming to be suffering a heart attack!


PC: Bah ha! Brilliant!


HHL: Oh my god! What if he's really having a heart attack, Pip?!?


PC: Haha, ok!!


Chris Chaos and Jenny Myst are gaining the advantage as they battle the Misfits, eventually clotheslining Kris and Melanie out of the ring and following after them.


Kieran is just starting to get to his feet as Mastermind turns his attention to him.


The ref is still tending to Antony and his "heart attack" as Mastermind is able to catch Kieran in THE MIND SLEEPER!!


HHL: Say goodnight, Kieran! This one's GOT to be over!


Chris Chaos at ringside rams Kris Von Bonn into the steps as Jenny and Melanie are still going at it at ringside too. Chris looks in the ring and sees Mastermind with THE MIND SLEEPER locked in tight on Kieran so he slides into the ring!


Antony The Jerk can clearly see what's going on behind the ref who is trying to stop him from collapsing...


Antony all of a sudden recovers from his heart attack and hops down to ringside, pointing into the ring and drawing the ref's attention to...





PC: WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS! Chris Chaos took Mastermind's head right off with that super kick!





But …............







….........








…..







DING DING DING!!!!!





...the ref saw it! He's calling it!!


HHL: What!? After all that?!?


Chris Chaos can't believe it when he realizes what happened but it's too late now as everyone rushes into the ring and a massive brawl ensues!


Announcer: "Kieran Overton has been disqualified."


Winner - Via Disqualification Mastermind



More officials rush to the ring to try and break it up as the fans chant "let them fight!" and eventually start to boo as both sides are separated and dragged separate ways by officials and security.


PC: Mastermind moves on in the tournament but I have a feeling this is far from over, and what's the story behind Chaos, Myst and Overton here?





*Filmed earlier at XWF Headquarters in Chicago.*

Theo Pryce is seen sitting at his desk in his office. The fine cherry wood desk with a platinum inlay of the XWF logo is adorned with pictures of Theo's family, The Kings, and Theo holding the XWF Universal Championship. He closes his laptop as Robbie Bourbon walks in.

Hey, Theo, you wanted to see me?

Have a seat, Robbie.

Theo massages his temples as Robbie sits. Robbie looks pleasant, a trip to see the boss not phasing him.

So, what's up? Is this about all the collateral damage and stuff? I figured that's why you guys kept putting me in cage matches, to make sure I didn't break too much expensive stuff.

No, it's not about that.

Oh, cool, because I was totally thinking about chucking someone through the XTron, or doing one of those cool things where I throw someone into an arbitrary electrical panel and causing a shit ton of sparks to fly.

Robbie, could you listen for a minute?

It's debatable Robbie could listen for thirty seconds without something catching his attention, the concussion addled gears in his head turning on their own volition.

What's up?

It's about March Madness.

Oh, no worries boss man. I got that in the bag. First I'm going to knock Ned out of the box, no idea why he's all of a sudden just jutting himself into my title shot, then I'm going to knock Engineer off, bada boom, bada bing, I'm the new Universal Champion.

It's not so simple, Robbie. Ned Kaye is invoking his title match clause, and unlike most, he's doing it by scheduling a match, not just jumping someone. Ned earned his title shot, a long time ago, and now he's prepared to take it. He's not just all of a sudden jutting himself into your business, he's cashing in his rightfully earned shot, and he's doing it the honorable way. Personally I think he's an idiot but there is nothing saying he can't do this so here we are. Now, I know you have issues with the Engineer, especially with everything that happened at Warfare on the nineteenth. Maybe you would have beat Centurion, maybe not, it's a blemish on his reign, and I feel it's ultimately unfair to each of you. The thing is, Robbie, you didn't beat him. You didn't beat Azrael in the Cell, either. You haven't won a single match at all since you lost to Engineer, but you've been carving up talent left and right backstage or wherever you can find them.

Heh, fuck yeah I have!

Well, Robbie, it's left a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths. It makes you look bad. It makes the company look bad. I know you think you're on some kind of crusade or whatever...

Operation: Annihilation. It's not a crusade, it's secular.

Theo shuts his eyes and shakes his head 'no' briefly, his body language showing he didn't need to hear Robbie's rebuttal.

That's besides the point. Robbie, I'm not going to sugar coat this.

You're not challenging for the Universal Championship at March Madness.


Robbie nods his head slowly, digesting what he has just heard. He looks longingly at the beautiful cherry desk, then back up at Theo.

Now, I understand if you're upset.

Robbie snorts.

Look, we'll get you booked, you'll get your payday...

Payday?

Robbie places his palms on the cherry desk.

Theo, I don't need the payday. A few years back I beat a contract out of Lane and signed it in his own blood. Sure, I lost that match, but battles and wars, bud. Granted, it was a scumbag move of me too. That's the facts, right there, I've never really been a good person. I did shit my way, everybody else be damned.

I know, Robbie.

Good. Then you know that I'm really only here for the life. Some men go buy motorcycles, some go bungee jumping, I get locked in cages with the most sociopathic animals you can sign to get my thrills. Maybe because I like the danger, maybe because I want to assert myself as boss sociopath. Some days I'm not sure.

Look, Robbie, I'll...

You'll do what you can, I know. Just know this, Theo.

Robbie plants his pointer finger right on the cherry desk.

This is a beautiful desk. This is status. This is you. This is what you've earned, what you are, what you chose to become.

Theo's lips purse. Given Robbie's actions of late and the fact he just recieved bad news, what comes next could be drastic.

Me, I couldn't ever do this.

Robbie stands up. Theo glares at him, his jaw taut.

You made your call, boss man. I reckon I gotta respect it. This is a nice desk. I'ma wreck so much shit on TV you'll have to sell it to cover the costs.

Theo smirks.

Do you.

You too. Tell the wife and kids I said hello. And you might want to call FEMA for what comes next.

Robbie walks out of the office, slamming the door on his way out. From inside the office, we hear a kerfuffle and a loud crash as Theo smiles, shaking his head 'no'.

"Hey, the copier!"

Another crash is heard.

Damnit.

"The water cooler!"




BigD
- vs -
Finn Kuhn
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2






The starting riffs of Rise Against's Savior shakes through the arena, getting the crowd pumped up for the upcoming match. As the main guitar riff finally starts to kick in, the Kaiser himself, Finn Kühn walks out from behind the curtains, a smug a look as ever as he scans through the crowd and in the ring. Many members of the crowd lob boos at Finn with only a few scattered cheers at most. After his brief surmise of the situation, Finn walks down to the ring, hands locked together behind his back with his attention firmly placed at the match at hand.

Finn gets up on the apron before dusting his boots off. After showing the proper respect to the mat it deserves, Finn heads in, determined and ready to walk away with a W.




As "X-Men Theme" by Powerglove begins to play over the PA system, spotlights begin to shine all over the arena of a 'D'. After a moment, Big D walks onto the entrance ramp. He puts his arms in the air, before heading down the aisle, focused on the ring. He then walks up the steel steps and climbs into the ring, before walking over to a corner, climbing to the second rope, and putting his arms in the air once again. After that, he hops down and waits.


Ding! Ding! Ding! With the bell, the March Madness tournament continues as Finn Kuhn and Big D start that all to familiar circular dance around the ring. Eyes locked on one another, they close the distance between them and engage each other with the staple collar elbow lockup. Both men challenge, vying for leverage with Big D winning out and transitioning to a side headlock.

Kuhn doesn't miss a beat and shoves D off into the ropes, Kuhn falls to his belly, D skips over and hits the opposite side and BOOM! Kuhn catches the former TV champion with a monstrous overhead belly to belly suplex!

An uncharacteristic show of power by the Kaiser has D shocked and he rolls to the outside, hand firmly on that targeted back. A few verbal jabs are exchanged by both men before D rolls back in, the ref holding off Kuhn from a preemptive attack. Both men upright they begin the cycle again. Circle, tie up, headlock, ropes, except this time Big D puts Kuhn flat on his back with powerful a shoulder block.

No time is wasted, D is already off to the ropes and Kuhn turns and slides on his belly. D skips over and hits the opposite ropes, Kuhn stands and BAM! Big D connects with another shoulder tackle! Kuhn stares up at D, astonished and visibly aggravated. He fell for it twice! Could he be an idiot and fall for it a third time.

D to the ropes, Kuhn with a belly slide, D rebounds from the opposite side and Kuhn finally figured it out! Standing before D can get turned, Kuhn spins around attempting a Swan Song, a discus elbow that doesn't connect!

The wiley veteran Big D sniffed it out and caught the arm with his own. In control, D takes Kuhn's head and with a running start drives Kuhn face down with a bulldog. Smelling blood in the water, D doesn't relent and locks in the Big D Facecrusher!

Kuhn's screams are deafening, bloodchilling, Big D has it locked tight and no matter the struggle Kuhn cant get away. The ref is on mat, asking for a submittal. Kuhn won't give but for time he says no D wrenches that much harder on his neck. The ref keeps asking














and asking...





And asking....















....and finally Kuhn can take no more. He taps frantically and the ref calls for the bell.


Winner - By Submission Big D



The camera follows Big D post-match into the backstage area. He notes it and screws his face up.

“Why are you following me? I'm not doing an.....”

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Peter Gilmour appears and lambastes Big D with a chair shot to the skull!

Peter does a crotch chop! SUCK MY BIG D, BIG D!

GOT 'EM! We hear the familiar voice of Shane Carver as he steps out from behind some crates, accompanied by Madison Dyson and Tristan Slater! And then, to make matters even worse, the Universal Champion The Engineer steps in front of the camera!

Greetings!

Just behind the champ, a furious looking Big D starts to arise, only to get leveled again by a kick to the skull from Tristan!

How ya doin', Ned Kaye? Everything going alright for you? That's good.

Tristan and Gilly start to muscle Ned Kaye back up. He resists, but Gilly starts punching him in the head before they again force him to rise.

Now Ned, I just wanted to take a moment to formally welcome you to the main event at March Madness. Congrats guy, you finally hit the big time!

With Big D forced to a vertical position, Gilly then hits a Gilly Cutter on him, to the “oohs, aaahs” and applauding of all present!

But you know, I'm torn on this honestly! Like, on one hand you did everything I asked the rest of the quivering vaginas backstage to do. You did! I mean, we can segue into a tangent about how bad it makes them all look that YOU of all people pulled the trigger on challenging me while they diddled their puds and talked a lot of shit from behind social media and the like, but I'm gonna stay focused nice and tight.

The word “focused” is punctuated by Madison Dyson slapping the shit out of Big D.

You did what I asked. You stepped up. Except now, I'm hearing some nasty rumors about some...consequences....of you doing your cash in. Some rumors that you may have completely upended my original plans for March Madness. I mean...heh...don't get me wrong, in a lot of ways you actually made things EASIER on me. But now I'm sitting here wondering, “is that what I wanted”?

Now, the entire group behind The Engineer has set in on stomping the hell out of Big D. Then, Shane motions for somebody to stand him back up again.

And I have determined that “no”, no that is not what I wanted. I didn't want the easy path, Ned. The easy path, of course, being you. Like, I get there's not much I can do about you having a 24/7 briefcase but.....ehhhhh...how do I explain it?

Big D has once again been forced to his feet. Shane spins around a bit, making a show of doing....something? Alright guys, get ready to loose your bowels! I'm about to debut a brand new move here! Poor Big D is swaying on his feet, held aloft by the others.

You just have this way about you that makes everything feel so UNINSPIRED. And that's not what I wanted for this match at March Madness. Not at all! I wanted to be excited for this....I did! But, Ned....

DRRRRRAAAAAAAAGOOOOOOON PUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNCCCHHHH! Shane busts out a full on Street Fighter style Shoryuken on Big D! Big D's feet actually leave the floor and he pops up into the air, coming crashing down on the back of his head! Madison, Tristan, and Gilly all give Shane a polite golf clap for his efforts as he takes a bow.

…..you're just such a cuck.

The Engineer shakes his head mournfully and then turns his back to the camera, to finally face the scene playing out behind him. The rest of the group parts as The Engineer glowers at Big D, who is groaning and flat on his back. Pick him up again. Gilly, Tristan and Shane then leap into action, hoising Big D up onto his haunches. It doesn't even look like the poor man even knows where he is.

The Engineer sinks deep into a fighting stance and unleashes a sick Vox Aeterna buzzsaw kick to the side of Big D's head! The impact echoes throughout the backstage area! D slumps over onto his side, motionless. The champ turns back towards the camera one final time.

Cuck.

The shot closes in on Big D, breathing raggedly, as The Engineer and his crew leave the scene.





Atara Themis
- vs -
Red-X
Singles
Winner will move to Round 2


The bell rings as Atara and Red X circle each other. Red X rushes at her and takes her down with a double leg tackle. Red mounts for a flurry of blows, but Atara quickly blocks and transitions to a half mount, and then up to her feet. Atara waits for Red X to get to his feet. Atara and Red lock up in a shoulder and collar lock up, Atara once again transitions to back control. The quickly to a side headlock.

Red X fights out and reverses to his own side headlock. Red X cranks down on the hold, Atara fights up and qucikly takes Red X down with a sweep of his leg. Atara quickly follows it up with an elbow drop to his sternum. Atara goes for a quick cover.


1.......


And an easy Kickout for Red X. Atara doesn’t waste any time grabs an arm for an arm bar, and pulls back. Red X grabs his own wrist and tries to block the move, and quickly attempts a roll up on Atara.


1.....



Atara kicks out and releases his arm. Both competitors get to their feet. Atara runs at Red X as he drops down to the mat. Atara rebounds off of the ropes as Red X leaps over her this time. Atara stops right as Red X lands on his feet, and she grabs him and hits a snap belly to back suplex. Atara once again goes for a cover.



1....


Red X once again kicks out. Atara slams her palm on the mat in frustration. Atara stands and drags Red X up with her by the hand. Atara pushes Red X away with her free hand and pulls him back in and levels him with a huge clothesline, but doesn’t let go of his hand. She yanks him up again, and this time lifts him up. Holding him in the air for a moment and hitting a beautiful brainbuster. Atara sits up from the canvas and looks over Red X, she lets out a audible sigh as Red X begins to stir. She stands up to her feet and waits in a ready position for Red to stand up. He slowly drags himself to the ropes, as Atara follows behind stalking her prey. Red X gets to his feet and turns around right into Atara who quickly grabs him and throw him over her head for a picturesque overhead belly to belly suplex. Red X rag dolls across the ring and against the ropes.

Atara is once again stalking Red X as he struggles to get to his feet. He slowly drags himself to the corner. Atara runs at him and smashes him with a clothesline. She wastes no time lifting Red X up to the top turnbuckle. She follows him up and begins to lay forearms into his face. As both of them are now on the top rope. Red X begins to fight back with forearms of his own.

Once


Twice


Three times as Atara is knocked off the top rope and to the canvas. Red X takes a moment to compose himself and find his surroundings. Before he could even act, Atara had gotten to her feet, and rushed the corner. Climbing up the ropes with grace and agility. She grabs Red X and in one swift movement thrown him over her head for a super belly to belly. Both of them crash hard on the mat. Starts drags herself to the motionless Red X and drapes an arm over his chest.

1....



2....




Kickout....

Atara rolls to her back and just stares at the ceiling for a moment before sitting up. Red X is motionless on the canvas. Atara slowly gets to her feet, as does Red X. They both begin to throw wild punches at one another. Red X get the upper hand and run against the ropes, but upon returning to Atara he is quickly met by a Judgement Of Paris.

Yet Atara doesn’t go for the cover and quickly picks up Red X and hits a perfect Northern Lights suplex, and floats over into another one this time holding the bridge.


1....






2....





3!!!

WINNER VIA PINFALL - ATARA THEMIS



”The following contest is a STEEL CAGE match!


The crowd erupts at the match stipulation…







”Introducing first… about to make his way to the ring.. .ROBBIE BOURBON!”


The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.

"Here, we are! Born to be kings; we're the Princes of the Universe! Here we belong, fighting to survive, in a world with the darkest power!"

As Princes of the Universe blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Robbie Bourbon. He stops, surveys the whole of the arena, raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Robbie climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops. The XWF Universe in attendance, becoming hooligans, all chant in unison:

*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*FUN!*




”And his opponent…”



The house lights suddenly dim to darkness…


The blackout continues for several seconds before the house lights come back up revealing… nothing has happened.






The crowd starts to boo as they await the arrival of THE Tristan Slater. Robbie paces back and forth in the squared circle.


”His opponent, about to make his way to the ring being led by SHANE CARVER, he is THE TRISTAN SLATER!”

Robbie Bourbon
- vs -
"The" Tristan Slater
Steel Cage Match


No one walks out through the curtain as Robbie stops his pacing in the ring as he asks the referee what’s going on. The music stops playing as neither Shane nor Slater has appeared at the top of the ramp.


”I’m not really sure what’s going on here. We have scheduled Slater versus Bourbon inside a Steel Cage and it looks like Slater isn’t here.”


”Well I mean Bourbon is pretty much beneath anyone.”


The referee holds Bourbon up as he starts to confer with the ring announcer who makes then makes the following announcement.


”Ladies and Gentleman I’ve just been informed that if THE Tristan Slater has not made it to the ring by the referee’s ten count he will forfeit this match and the winner will be ROBBIE BOURBON.”


This certainly doesn’t make the fans in attendance happy at all as the boo’s reign down from all over the building.


“ONE”



“TWO”





“THREE”





“FOUR”





“FIVE”




“SIX”





“SEVEN”




“EIGHT”





“NINE.”





“TEN”


DING…. DING… DING…


WINNER VIA FORFEIT: ROBBIE BOURBON!



The referee raises Bourbon’s arm in the air and you can tell neither are satisfied when we suddenly hear over the sound system the sounds of two men laughing as our attention is drawn to the Jumbo Tron where we see a tight shot of Shane Carver and THE Tristan Slater! They’re location isn’t quiet known other than they’re clearly outside and there’s a lot of traffic that can be heard in front of them.


SLATER- ”Surely you didn’t think you meant THAT much to me, did you Robbie?”


CARVER- [orange]”Of course he did! I bet he’s in his feelings now about it now!”[./orange]


”New Flash Robbie… You NEVER had my attention, but someone that does…”


THE Tristan Slater raises up his right hand displaying the XWF Hart Championship as we now go full screen on Shane and Slater.


”The only thing I care about right now is humbling the man that owns this piece of gold… Centurion.”


Tristan looks at the gold strap before slinging it over his shoulder as he continues.


”Cent, I told you that I would willingly give you back the Hart Title tonight for an answer of if you wanted to pick a fight with me… and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. You see Cent you’re not as successful as you want everyone to believe you are and there’s plenty of kinks within yourself, and since you’ve yet to really give me an answer I’m going to sweeten the pot.”


The camera pans back revealing a rundown CENTURION HOTEL AND CASINO.


”March Madness if you beat me I’ll RETIRE from in ring competition in the XWF… and if you want your belt back… it’s right here.”


The Tristan Slater takes the Hart Title and leaves it at the entrance of the Centurion Hotel and Casino.


”Even you have your failures.”


Tristan winks towards the camera as the scene fades.



Azrael starts in the ring.



Fuzz rides his wagon of treasure down to the ring, crashing into the apron before digging out his Xtreme title and handing it over to the ref.



Fuzz ©
- vs -
Azrael Erebus
Falls Count Anywhere


The bell rings as Fuzz rushes right for Az who wasn’t even ready yet. Fuzz takes him down and begins walloping him with a flury of rights and lefts. The ref tries to pull Fuzz off of him, but is shoved aside screaming something about the X-Treme title. Fuzz begins to throw forearms as Az tries to cover up. Fuzz eventually let’s go of Az and allows him to get to his feet. Az shakes the cobwebs out from the early onslaught. Fuzz laughs at Az, who becomes enraged and tries to tackle Fuzz to the ground. Az is successful and tries to punch Fuzz but he quickly transitions out and both of them get to their feet. Fuzz grabs Az and takes full control of the match. Everyone hears a familiar voice as the X-Tron fires up.


Hey, Fuzz look! I'm on the X-Tron. Look over here!



Fuzz looks over to the X-Tron where Thunder Knuckles can be seen putting in the last giant can of butterscotch pudding in the 1994 Subaru Impreza WRX's homemade sunroof, courtesy of Thunder Knuckles and a sawzall, filling it to the brim. Fuzz is baffled by this and when he turns back around to pick Azrael Erebus up off the canvas he’s met with Thunder Knuckles hitting him with a running knee to the face. Thunder Knuckles rolls out of the ring and jumps the barricade into the crowd gesturing to the camera the universal sign of “making it rain” as if to say he was paid for the attack.


HHL: Think Thunder Knuckles paid off Todd to not put moments ago on the bottom of the X-Tron?

PC: What a dastardly attack!

Fuzz grabs his face as he rolls out of the ring to go after Knuckles, but it’s too late as TK is long gone. Fuzz turns around and is flattened by Az who had climbed to the top rope and leap off. As struggles to his feet and picks Fuzz up by the hair. Then promptly whips Fuzz into the barricade.

THUD!

Then Az does it again.

THUD!

As grabs the downed Fuzz and begins to drag him up the ramp. Fuzz swings wildly but can’t connect with any of the punches. Az whips Fuzz towards the LED board but Fuzz reverses it as Az goes crashing through and to the other side right next to the gorilla position.

Fuzz carefully walks through the gap, and is met by a trash can to the face for his efforts.

CLANG!

Fuzz falls flat to the ground as Az rears back and smashes the garbage can across Fuzz’s back. Fuzz tries dragging himself away, but Az grabs him by the ankle and begins to drag him deeper into the arena.

Fuzz begins to kick his legs wildly but misses most of the shots. Fuzz finally reaches out and grabs a door by the frame and begins to pull himself away from Az. Fuzz finally gets free of Az and pulls himself into the room, where Az is quick to follow. Fuzz smashes the door into Az’s head causing him to stumble backwards. Fuzz spears Az to the concrete floor of the hall way, and gets to his feet ripping a fire extinguisher off of the wall.


WOOOOOOOSHHHHH

Fuzz drenches Az in a white powder. Az is blinded as he struggles to get to his feet. Az cleares his eyes and searches for Fuzz who is grabbing something from someone in one of the rooms.

Fuzz: Thanks Dove.

Fuzz has a pair of handcuffs in his hand. He places them over his knuckles and with a huge wind up connects with the jaw of Az. Az is rocked but still on his feet. Fuzz reaches back again and connects square on the jaw again. Az crumbles to the ground as Fuzz drops the cuffs and heads out an exit door, only turning around to check on Az ad if he’s getting up.

The ref points towards a door leading outside. As Az rushes out the door he spots Fuzz sitting atop the Subaru full spread eagle. Fuzz motions for Az to come towards him and just smiles like an asshole. Az runs at Fuzz who just puts a foot out right before Az reaches him. As falls to the ground as Fuzz leaps off the hood of the car and nails a huge diving elbow drop. Fuzz sits up and wipes his hands clean. Fuzz pulls Az up and leans him on the hood of the car. Fuzz bashes Az’s head off of the hood a few times and then tosses him atop of the car. Fuzz quickly follows and pats the hood of the car.

Fuzz grabs Az by the back of the head and locks in the Dreamweaver. As struggles for a bit before Fuzz quickly lifts him up and hits a huge AFTERTHOUGHT on the hood of the car shattering the windshield. Fuzz drags Az’s limp body to the ground and lays an arm over his chest for the pin.



1....




2....





3!!!!

WINNER AND STILL XTREME CHAMPION - FUZZ!






The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then see fire emiting from the ramp after a bell tolls a few times. We then hear "SUCK MY DICK" blast from the PA and the crows begins to go ape shit. "FUCK EVERYBODY" by Steel Panther begins to kick in as res strobe lights and lasers hit the stage. We see Peter Gilmour and his demon assassin Valerie Sky appear on the stage. They look around as Peter bobs his head to the music. As soon as the chorus kicks in we see Peter start singing into the camera saying, "EVERYBODY CAN SUCK MY DICK!" They head to the ring and then get in normally. Peter then throws his hands up in an "X" pose as fire and fireworks go off above the ring in the same manner. Peter looks at Valerie and smiles wickedly as they look at the stage waiting for their next victim.



"GET OUT OF ME COUNTRY"

The crowd pop as Noah Jackson strolls lazily from the back and basks in the glow of sick cunt energy washing over him. He slowly puts his right foot forward and glides down the ramp on his heelies, rhythmically raising and lowering pointed fingers to the sky as the crowd chants.

"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"
"CUNT!"

Until he reaches the apron where he gracefully rolls under the bottom rope and goes straight to the corner continuing his motions and the chants until his music is rudely cut off.

[Image: rWOE8Gi.png]

[Image: 8K9Z08s.png]
Noah Jackson ©
- vs -
Peter Gilmour
"Bogan Barbie" Match
AKA Dumpster Fire Match
No Time Limit
There's a dumpster at the side of the ring
The winner must throw their opponent into the dumpster and set it alight to win
Everything is legal


Noah and Peter are standing in the ring when the dumpster is wheeled down to the ring. Noah walks over to the dumpster and looks into it as the bell rings. Peter runs at Noah and flips him over the top rope as Noah lands in the dumpster with a loud thud. Peter raises his hands and begins celebrating as if he won the match.

“CUNT!”

Peter turns to Noah.

“You’ve got to light it on fire moron!”

Noah climbs out of the dumpster, and slides in under the rope. Peter doesn’t allow Noah to get to his feet and begins stomping him. Noah fights his way back to his feet. Noah chops Peter across the chest, and then once again. Peter bounces off the ropes and hits Noah with a huge lariat. Noah rolls out of the ring, and Peter quickly follows behind him. Peter clubs Noah across the back. Noah fall to the ground as Peter stalks him on the outside.

Peter picks up Noah and drags him towards the dumpster. Peter attempts to whip Noah into the side of the dumpster but he reverses it as Peter goes crashing into the side. Peter slides down the side and is sitting against the dumpster. Noah runs at him and slams his knee into the skull of Peter. Noah turns to the crowd.

“He’s a shit cunt!”

Noah turns to Peter who has gotten to a knee, he walks up to him and slaps him in the back of the head. Peter looks up at Noah who is grinning, and spits right in his face. Noah leaps back as if acid was just thrown in his face. Noah stumbles to the barricade. He grabs a drink from a fan and douses his face and wipes it clean. He turns around and as he does Peter nails a huge super kick.

“SUCK MY DICK!”

Peter picks up Noah and drags him to the ring and under the bottom rope. Peter slides in and stomps on Noah a few times before picking him up and whipping him into the ropes. Peter picks Noah up and slams him hard to the mat with a perfect Samoan drop. Peter goes for the cover. Noah immediately kicks out and gets up in a rage. Peter is back peddling as Noah attacks with a flurry of kicks and in between each screams at Peter.

“There are No Pins in this match!!!”

Peter fights back as Noah seemed to have wasted all of his energy. Peter once again downs Noah with a strong lariat. Peter nails Noah with a powerslam and quickly follows it up with a fist drop to Noah’s face. Peter sits Noah up and runs against the ropes. He attempts a suck my dick, but Noah ducks under and gets to his feet as Peter runs past. Peter bounces off the ropes and is immediately taken down by Noah with a drop toe hold.

Noah hops to his feet and punts Peter in the head, as his body goes limp on the canvas. Noah tries to pick him up, but can’t.

“I thought you lost weight you cunt!”

Noah struggles but eventually lifts Peter up and carrys him to the dumpster and flops him over the ropes and in to it. Noah pulls out a zippo lighter and tries to get it lit.

“Damn it..... come on!”

Noah eventually get the lighter lit, and looks into the dumpster but Peter isn’t there. Noah gets out of the ring and to the floor and checks around the dumpster. Noah shrugs as the dumpster is being pushed towards him, and pins him against the barricade. Peter pops out from the other side with a sadistic grin on his face. Noah struggles to free himself but by the time he does Peter is ready to attack.

Peter elbows Noah in the temple, and drags him out from behind the dumpster. Peter sets Noah up on the apron and attempts to push it back into Noah again.

Noah dodges it and rolls into the ring. Peter let’s put a visceral scream and runs back into the ring. Peter runs at Noah who ducks under, but Peter stops and lifts him up. Hitting Noah with a huge gut buster. Noah gasps for air as Peter picks him up slams Noah to the mat with a huge falcon arrow. Peter gets up to his feet and points at Noah while yelling at the crowd.

“This Is your Champ? He’s Pathetic!”

Peter whips Noah into the corner and lifts him up onto the top turnbuckle. Peter throws a few forearms ar Noah and climbs to the top with him. Peter points to the dumpster and sets Noah up for a Gilmour Cutter. They leap off the top turnbuckle but Noah somehow reverses it early in the leap as both men go crashing into the dumpster while Noah nails a DOWN THUNDER.

Neither man is moving.





There is a rustling in the dumpster....






A hand pops up from inside.....




Noah drags himself out. He pulls out the lighter. This time there is no misfire. Noah tosses the lighter into the dumpster as it goes up in flames as the bell rings.

WINNER VIA ARSON AND STILL TELEVISION CHAMPION - NOAH JACKSON!




Special thanks to

Shane Carver
"Shameless" Shane Carver
"Sexy" Shane Carver
Shane Carver 2: Son of Shane Carver
Fuzz
Atara Themis
"Chronic" Chris Page
The Engineer
Zeebo The Clown
Theo Pryce

And everyone that RPed this week




And a huge thank you to Mastermind for doing the round 2 draw, show him some love.

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Post: #2
03-01-2020 03:58 PM

There are some dope matchups for round two.....

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Management Lv. 2



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(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


Post: #3
03-01-2020 04:03 PM

OOC: Just wanted to extend the appreciation here, I've had a long week and so many people stepped up to help out with this show, to my fellow GMs along with match writers who did fantastic work. I feel I dropped the ball a little this show and didn't work as hard as I should have to put out the best show I could, I apologize for that and thank you everyone who helped, sent in segments and so on, I hoped you enjoyed the show.

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Post: #4
03-01-2020 05:26 PM

Y'all did Boris dirty

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Post: #5
03-01-2020 05:49 PM

Can't wait to get in the ring with Mastermind. I hope to see you soon Bud :).

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Post: #6
03-01-2020 06:59 PM

Panzer chuckles, then begins to laugh loudly

"It was never about me continuing on! I like to fuck with people, bitches! I make the rules as I fucking see fit. I felt like having fun, so I did the shit I performed. I found it hilarious and I felt like she should be ready for anything. If she's not, then I did all this for no reason. Which, in of itself, is a joke."

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Post: #7
03-01-2020 07:53 PM

>.> Mastermind with the Motown Jams....

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Post: #8
03-02-2020 04:04 AM

OOC: Apologies for not roleplaying.. My first ever NO SHOW! I have no excuses and well done Zeebo

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XWF FanBase:
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Post: #9
03-02-2020 06:56 AM

(03-01-2020 06:59 PM)Phantom Panzer Said:  Panzer chuckles, then begins to laugh loudly

"It was never about me continuing on! I like to fuck with people, bitches! I make the rules as I fucking see fit. I felt like having fun, so I did the shit I performed. I found it hilarious and I felt like she should be ready for anything. If she's not, then I did all this for no reason. Which, in of itself, is a joke."

Say, I'm in the same boat, except for the whole writing off losing as my getting my jollies.

Welp, since Slater proved to be a bigger pussy than the one between his mom's thighs and I'm NOT getting a shot for the Universal Championship, at least one of my matches will be against Phantom Panzer. He obviously wouldn't deny the match, as I'm the defacto representative of the people as is and he likes fucking with them, and honestly, he's best around here at getting his ass beat, I think it's a dream match.

Oh, you don't have a say in the matter. Defend yourself, or not, PP.

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The Guy
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Post: #10
03-02-2020 08:32 AM

Great show everyone! Congrats to all the winners!

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Post: #11
03-02-2020 11:09 AM

(03-02-2020 06:56 AM)Robbie Bourbon Said:  Say, I'm in the same boat, except for the whole writing off losing as my getting my jollies.

Welp, since Slater proved to be a bigger pussy than the one between his mom's thighs and I'm NOT getting a shot for the Universal Championship, at least one of my matches will be against Phantom Panzer. He obviously wouldn't deny the match, as I'm the defacto representative of the people as is and he likes fucking with them, and honestly, he's best around here at getting his ass beat, I think it's a dream match.

Oh, you don't have a say in the matter. Defend yourself, or not, PP.

"Kinda looks like I do have a say in the matter. You're also right, that I do like to fuck with YOU PEOPLE and what's better, than to not do what the fuck you want?"

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RULER AND GOD OF XTREME MEN!



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Post: #12
03-02-2020 11:57 AM

boris felt the THREAT

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SUCK... MY... DICK!

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XWF FanBase:
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(physically attractive male on every level; can seduce you; that disarming smile; those bedroom eyes)


Post: #13
03-02-2020 02:26 PM

The Hired Gun guys are badass, hope I can meet one of them one day.

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(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


Post: #14
03-02-2020 03:04 PM

Thanks man,
Hope you enjoyed the match anyway :)
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Fair and Balanced (and Evil)
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Post: #15
03-02-2020 03:25 PM

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Did you all see how fucking badass my match was? Like, I didn't even need to cheat that much to beat Boris, I just wanted to.

Fuck all ya'all this whole thing is a wrap. It's mine!

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XWF FanBase:
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(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


Post: #16
03-02-2020 05:31 PM

Thunder Knuckles hears what Madison Dyson said and looks over at Jimmy.

Hold my beer.


Thunder Knuckles hands Jimmy his beer.


Grandma Lemon Tits, you might want to get your money back from that hotline psychic because you've been lied to. Oh and let Shane know those xbux never made it to my account. It looks like he still owes me. I mean, seeing as your the errand bitch and all.

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Here for Fun



XWF FanBase:
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Post: #17
03-03-2020 03:17 AM

(03-02-2020 11:09 AM)Phantom Panzer Said:  
(03-02-2020 06:56 AM)Robbie Bourbon Said:  Say, I'm in the same boat, except for the whole writing off losing as my getting my jollies.

Welp, since Slater proved to be a bigger pussy than the one between his mom's thighs and I'm NOT getting a shot for the Universal Championship, at least one of my matches will be against Phantom Panzer. He obviously wouldn't deny the match, as I'm the defacto representative of the people as is and he likes fucking with them, and honestly, he's best around here at getting his ass beat, I think it's a dream match.

Oh, you don't have a say in the matter. Defend yourself, or not, PP.

"Kinda looks like I do have a say in the matter. You're also right, that I do like to fuck with YOU PEOPLE and what's better, than to not do what the fuck you want?"

Huh?

Look, if you are anywhere in the arena, cool.

Not, I find you, and I drag you into the arena, and every time you say no on the way there is something else you get thrown through.

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XWF FanBase:
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Post: #18
03-03-2020 03:39 AM

I have never done this.

But I think it would be funny if I convinced you to wear a bridal dress, eat cat poop, and then read Edgar Allen Poe on pay-per-view.

Violently if I had to.

So whenever anyone wondered how few fucks you gave, you could stand proudly and say you wore a bridal dress, ate cat poop, and read Poe because you gave zero fucks and took shitty advice.

Right now, you're just blindly going to go against whatever to be a pain in the ass.

I will make you scream to the heavens that you're a pain in the ass. Tears streaming from your face. Wishing mommy would break it up.

Instead, bridal dress, eating the cat poop, and Edgar Allen Poe, and I admit you give no fucks.

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Post: #19
03-03-2020 07:36 AM

(03-03-2020 03:39 AM)Robbie Bourbon Said:  I have never done this.

But I think it would be funny if I convinced you to wear a bridal dress, eat cat poop, and then read Edgar Allen Poe on pay-per-view.

Violently if I had to.

So whenever anyone wondered how few fucks you gave, you could stand proudly and say you wore a bridal dress, ate cat poop, and read Poe because you gave zero fucks and took shitty advice.

Right now, you're just blindly going to go against whatever to be a pain in the ass.

I will make you scream to the heavens that you're a pain in the ass. Tears streaming from your face. Wishing mommy would break it up.

Instead, bridal dress, eating the cat poop, and Edgar Allen Poe, and I admit you give no fucks.

Panzer laughs loudly, the microscopic camera shows the rest, revealing he is in his pocket dimension.

"Buddy, if your primitive mind can find a way to get to my pocket dimension, I'll say yes. Until then, good luck. The only way possible is if I give Earth's smartest motherfucker the knowledge. Then again, I can just take that knowledge away at the blink of an eye.

You saw the shit I pulled against Jessalyn. I can do everything and everyone.

Basically what I'm saying is that you can't come here. I have permissions enabled. If someone were to try and find a way inside, they get purged, violently. So, hey, try and come here, die on my doorstep. I'll await your decision."

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XWF FanBase:
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Post: #20
03-03-2020 08:17 AM

Shane was about to say something in response to Thunder Knuckles, but got distracted first...

(03-03-2020 07:36 AM)Phantom Panzer Said:  "I can do everything and everyone."

The outline of Shane's erection was larger than the elephant in the room
uu====D

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Important wrestling news: Jim Cornette and the Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer, who have been friends for decades, had a public falling out on Twitter over a debate about Kenny Omega's drawing power.

Rare match: Orange Cassidy vs Velveteen Dream here

Bored? Watch former WWE wrestler "Ryback" eating a giant Rice Krispie treat for a half hour, here

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Post: #21
03-03-2020 11:47 AM

(03-02-2020 05:31 PM)Thunder Knuckles™ Said:  Thunder Knuckles hears what Madison Dyson said and looks over at Jimmy.

Hold my beer.


Thunder Knuckles hands Jimmy his beer.


Grandma Lemon Tits, you might want to get your money back from that hotline psychic because you've been lied to. Oh and let Shane know those xbux never made it to my account. It looks like he still owes me. I mean, seeing as your the errand bitch and all.

Hey slut, how much is it gonna run me for another win against you in March Madness?

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