Thunder Knuckles is seen jogging with some dogs on leashes in a small park in New Jersey. He’s got on black jogging pants, a beanie, and a "Death of Superman" T-shirt...




...and looks to be trying to get himself into a bit of shape for the March Madness tournament.


Fucking camera guy. Did Jimmy send you?


The cameraman shakes his head yes.


Well, fuck me... You caught me doing some exercise, didn’t you? Well I told everyone I'm not taking this shit lightly, didn’t I? I'm coming to Savage to do one thing and that's demolition jobs on shit house rasslers to get my xbux back. As you can see, I'm not XWF archives. I'm doing the fucking work, getting into shape, and pushing on.

The Calvary did exactly as I asked of him and stepped aside, didn't he? That’s because The Calvary knows he’s a shit house rassler, he’s fucking dog shit. Just like every other rassler in this tournament. You’re looking at the victor of the March Madness right here and now, yeah, me.


Thunder Knuckles doesn’t stop jogging with the dogs and point to himself. They seem to have jogged into a nice neighborhood.


I’m not here to lose to the likes of Big D or Atara even though I like both of them. I also didn’t come to lose to the like of Harnari Carnes, whoever the fuck that is, or even Grandma Lemon Tits, herself. I came to Savage to dominate. I came to Savage to get back what’s rightfully mine and this crop of fuck tards and sycophants that management has lined up isn’t going to do dick all to stop me. I can promise you that.

So let's make it simple then, yeah. I’m Thunder Knuckles and right now I'm the most dangerous man in XWF and this fucking shit house rassler, The Calvary, is getting knocked the fuck out and I'm sick to death of this. This mother fucker is going to sleep.


Thunder Knuckles stops jogging for a moment to let the dogs take a shit on someone's driveway.


Even if you do show up, The Calvary, it’s already too late. You see, I don't fight for fame, I don’t fight for glory. I fight for xbux and I fight because I love it. I love getting punched in the face, suplexes, back body dropped, name it, I fucking love it.


Thunder Knuckles checking on the dogs.


However, the only other thing I love more than getting hurt myself is hurting other people. To me, I've been fighting my whole fucking life. So what, I have to fight again to get back what's mine. Fine, but I won’t be held responsible for what happens to The Calvary or any of these other dog shit rasslers that management puts in my way. I'm going to hurt you, The Calvary. I'm going to hurt you fucking badly, my friend.



Thunder Knuckles pauses to make sure all the dogs have taken a shit. It looks like he's got some more time as he points to the bottom of the screen to queue Todd. A graphic appears at the bottom of your television screen. It's a scrolling text that says, Injured on the job inbox STEVENPCOOLIE he's here to separate guilty mother fuckers from their money.



The Calvary, they're going to be asking me after the fight if I was trying to kill you just to prove your superpowers are all just bullshit. I'll politely say no because that is true. I didn't try to kill you to prove your superpowers weren't real. I tried to kill you because management put you here. They put you in the ring with a man who's going to cripple his opponents to get back what's his! The meter is still running, Vinnie! Bet.


As Thunder Knuckles finishes the cameraman gets a good shot of the mailbox outside the house. It reads Andy Cortinovis.


Now, fuck off cameraman! I have to take these dogs back to their owners. I don't have even one more second for this dog shit rassler. A fucking bum ass fighter who couldn't be bothered to put out his first promo. Being told to step aside be damned. I'd never do that because this business is all about putting in the effort. I'm fixing to put the effort into MY greatness. XWF's XBUX KING! Make no mistake about it that's the only way this plays out. It all starts on February 29th, 2020. So tune in! Also, for any man or woman in the locker room who put money on ‘Ol Thunder Knuckles to win it all. You just made a fuck ton of xbux. You’re Welcome!


Thunder Knuckles looks down then smiles into the camera.


Oh yeah. Hey, Cent! I left The Calvary in your driveway, maybe you can have him hang out with your boy Boris.



Thunder Knuckles's smile could light up the Empire State Building, it's beaming so brightly. Because Thunder Knuckles jogs off after noticing the pile of shit has become of epic size and doesn't clean it up. Thunder Knuckles gives the middle finger to Centurion’s home as he jogs away, just in case Centurion is home.

That's when the camera fades to a Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 campaign ad. The ad starts with Thunder Knuckles walking over a hill to be seen with his hands in his pockets.


Americans are facing all kinds of challenges these days.


The scene switches to a paid actress and her "daughter".


In 2020, I still have to find health insurance for me and my little girl.


The scene switches again to another paid actress who's dressed nicely with a folder in her hand walking into a large business giving a thumbs up. while her voice-over speaks.


in 2020, I'm still looking for a job that pays off my student loans.


The Scene switches yet again this time with an older man and his wife. The man says-


In 2020, we're getting our house out of foreclosure.


The women smiles and says, while her husband is holding her tightly.


We're in so much debt.


The scene switches back to Thunder knuckles walking back over the same hill still with his hand in his pockets.


In 2020, all the presidential candidates are going to talk a lot about helping you out, but I won't waste your time with that, because the truth is. You're fucked.


The scene goes back to the paid actress and her "daughter".


I basically gave up.


She smiles at her daughter and says-


We're fucked.


The scene fades to the well dressed paid actress.


I'm never getting out of debt.


The scene switches back to the paid actress and her "daughter". The "daughter" who couldn't be more than five years old says-


We're fucked.

Yeah, we are, honey.


The paid actress hugs her "daughter" and the scene flips back to Thunder Knuckles again, this time sitting on a park bench.


You see running for president takes a lot of money. Most of which come from wealthy donors and special interest groups. Who profit from fucking you at the bank, but I have to help them out to even get Drezdin elected. I really want to be Vice President you guys.


The scene flips back to the older couple actors, laughing at their sorrow as the woman simulates getting fucked with her hand and finger. Then to the well-dressed actress looking for a job looking sad as hell. Finally back to the paid actress with her "daughter". The "mother" says-


If my family is going to get fucked. It may as well be by Drezdin/Knuckles 2020.


The scene switches back once again to Thunder Knuckles.


The American people are sick and tired of these Washington elites and reality show hosts fucking them behind their back. Well, I'm Thunder Knuckles and our campaign Drezdin/Knuckles 2020 promise to fuck you right to your face. So this November remember to vote Drezdin/Knuckles 2020.